Help Me Be Me is a collection of practical tools to create positive change in yourself, hosted by writer/director Sarah-May B.  Think of it as self-help for people who are not into self-help. 

Help Me Be Me

This is a self-help podcast for people who don't like self-help.  It's about unlocking the problems that plague you so that you may be free. All of the things you believe to be insurmountable are false.  It's a story your brain tells you based on your life experiences.  Anything you think you can't overcome, I believe 100% without a doubt that you can. You just need the right tools to help you. Smile. You are already on your way. Music intro/outro by the fantastic Jeremy C. Simon!

Episode 1:  "The Why"

Dispelling the causes of food issues so that they can be effectively uprooted. If you suffer from issues with dieting, your problem is likely not in the place you're looking.

Episode 2: Fat Thoughts

Friendships should always bring out the best in both parties. If you find yourself feeling stung by a friend, you might want to take a listen. This is about "the why" behind frenemies, with tools to help you take steps a positive direction.

Episode 3: Frenemies

A dose of perspective to help with a case of stuckness: those times in life when you can't seem to get any traction and it seems like the universe isn't listening.  This episode also includes tools to help you direct your energy and focus.

Episode 4: Stuckness

Letting go of someone or something you love can be a terrifying proposition.  This episode offers a small beacon of hope if you are confronting a painful loss. 

Episode 5: Letting Go

Contrary to popular belief, fights are not better talked out to the bitter end and happiness and intimacy are not the result of more loving couples. It really comes down to how you manage these perpetual fights.  I want to give you the main reasons people end separating or remain happy and together - based a couple different disciplines of research. Because a lot of what is the most damaging, isn’t obvious or calculated by a person. It’s totally accidental. 

When we have the same arguments and we start to get distant, it’s often because we don’t want to fight and we have a sense of dread around a repeated loop, so the distance is like a no-war zone between two foreign cultures. And the SHITTY news is when you get distant, your relationship is actually in the most trouble – because both parties are no longer demonstrating an investment in the bond. This is when you stop identifying as a couple and you start thinking in terms of me, the individual. And with that solo identity you start to focus on goals as an individual and not as a couple. Your focus redefines your past together as crappy – you see things from a personal interest standpoint. So if you guys are feeling distant and resentful, this is an episode for you! 

Caveat: I want to stress that this is NOT for people with abusive partners. Domestic violence is not something that I recommend using these tools for – if you’re in an abusive relationship, my heart goes out to you. If you like this episode, check the Gottman Institute for more! A lot of this is from his work.

For more of my writing and the blog version of this post, check out Yaywithme.com (the blogs will be posted a bit later than the podcasts). 

Book references:
Couples counselor questionnaire:
goo.gl/zWndxG
How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
http://amzn.to/2oOqmqP
John Gottman’s most popular book:
http://amzn.to/2o3HxHU
The Gottman Institute – all their good, short articles. 
gottman.com
A book by the creator of Imago:
http://amzn.to/2onby1d
What to look for in a couples counselor:
http://www.marriagefriendlytherapists.com/whattolookfor.php

Ep 93: Relationship Fight Loops and Distance: Why We Lose Access to Intimacy

Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/mom/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Music theme created by www.BookerHillMusic.com