help me be me

TeaSpoonOfHappy

negative

hmbm

This is a self-help podcast for people who don't like self-help.  It's about unlocking the problems that plague you so that you may be free. All of the things you believe to be insurmountable are false.  It's a story your brain tells you based on your life experiences.  Anything you think you can't overcome, I believe 100% without a doubt that you can. You just need the right tools to help you. Smile. You are already on your way. Music intro/outro by the fantastic Jeremy C. Simon!

Episode 1:  "The Why"

This is a little power-up to help you if you are stuck in worry. xox

HelpMeBeMe: All worry is wasted

An emotional power-up for when you are feeling down about unmet goals and need help getting un-stuck.   

Don't Be Discouraged!

Freaking out about something in your life? Overwhelmed by anxiety over the future? We've all been there! This is an emotional power-up for this kind of state - specifically when you're working on yourself and overcoming a super difficult emotional issue. For example: an eating disorder, self-cutting, any unhealthy managing problem of any kind. Because everything is in your power to change when it comes to your focus and energy. So don't panic - if you're doing the work, the momentary freak outs will pass if you go through the motions of self-care. Soothe in healthy ways and first things first. 

If you are suffering extreme pain and need help call 9-11 or an emergency service. Don't dwell in places that feed the darkness! xo

Panic and Fear: When You're Overcoming a Big Scary Issue

Letting go of someone or something you love can be a terrifying proposition.  This episode offers a small beacon of hope if you are confronting a painful loss. 

Episode 5: Letting Go

The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you have in the world.  This episode features a recipe for creating more self-love and confidence so that you can live a happier and more fulfilling life.  There are ten different tools, a few of which are from the "Help Me Be Me" book.  Invest in your relationship with yourself and you will better the lives of everyone you touch. 

Episode 7: Self-Love from Scratch

This is for anyone stuck in a relationship that hurts them. There’s also a blog version on Hello Giggles and Teaspoon of Happy. Often people find themselves stuck in unhealthy relationships, anticipating negative behavior and growing sick inside with worry. Because so many of the unhealthy relationships are with people you would consider family, it’s extremely painful and confusing to get out of one.  You will find yourself tortured with guilt, questioning and doubting your own motives.  You might find yourself saying things like “But I have to!” rationalizing why it's easier to stay in it than try to leave.  This is a relationship is felt much like a hostage situation would be: you have a proverbial gun held to your head by the implied impact of your actions. In other words: you’re damned if you do and damned if you don't, so for now you're trapped and can’t get out. If this sounds familiar, this episode is a toolkit for you. 

Episode 13: Detaching with Love

Hola Peeps, this is a little mental power up episode to help you manage persistent thought patterns.  We all have moments we call out to ourselves via thought-instant-message, "You are now experiencing(fill in the blank familiar state of being)," despite our deliberate effort to change that state.  It's that thought, in itself, that then creates our actual state moving forward. 

It’s often that semi-average, automated thought that we trust as legit - that tends to hold ultimate power over us.  Thoughts like, "I'm tired." can alter the remainder of our thoughts for the rest of the day.  Those automated thoughts also have the power to block us from mental stillness and calm.  For example, even in the moment of attempting to quiet your mind, you might experience the thought, “I am having a hard time keeping my focus today.” That, too, is just a thought - and instead of taking it as gospel, we must instead observe it as just another automated mumble floating through our consciousness. So this is to hopefully help you separate from those mumbles so that you can dethrone them in favor of a happier you.  

For more check out http://www.TeaspoonOfHappy.com 

I hope you have a fantastic week! xo 

Outsmarting Negative Thought Patterns

This is a short-ish mindfulness meditation for you to do while sitting just about anywhere. It's a manual-brain-shut-down button for anyone who has incessant, non-stop thoughts that never seem to quiet down. That's a sign that there has been some imbalance created in you brain based on your lifestyle. To remedy it, I recco starting a daily meditation practice. This is one of those meditations (if you like it, that is.) 

To listen to it, find somewhere you can be alone and uninterrupted for at least half an hour - somewhere you are comfortable. It's under 15 minutes and should be completed in one sitting.  If you like it, let me know and I'll make more! 

For more of my writing you can head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com
Smile lovely friends! xox


Brain Chatter Relief: A Daily Quieting Meditation

Has it ever happened to you – that you do something nice for someone else and they don’t respond and so part of you is worried they didn’t like it, but then you start to get mad, because you are thinking – they should have appreciated that gesture! And how could they?! So uncaring. Wow – they are really a jerk, after all.  Or, maybe there’s someone in your workplace who gave you a dirty look – and you can’t figure out why, did they hear something? Do they really just dislike you? And if so, why? You didn’t do anything to them. Maybe you try to be nice and they don’t acknowledge you at all and now you just feel uncomfortable. The tension makes you feel nervous and distracted because you are nice! AND didn’t do anything wrong!  If this sounds like you and you do everything in your power to talk yourself out of it, but still can’t seem to soothe the obsessive thoughts of everything from worry to hate to insecurity and self-doubt, then this is a podcast for you! It’s got some information about why this happens plus some methods to soothe the obsession. And most importantly, how to curb your need for validation from other people when it’s hurting you to do so. 

For more of my writing, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com

Smile lovely friends!!! And if you like this, please show me some love! It helps me a lot a lot! xox Sarah May B. 

(This one's for you - Ambika! Hope it helps xox)



Episode 41: What Do They Think: How to Stop Obsessing About Other People’s Thoughts

This is a little power-up episode about creating more joy-filled and memorable moments in your life. Happiness is a thought-habit that for many of us, requires constant maintenance and deliberate focus. Though there are many reasons to feel grateful for our life – they’re all around us all the time - in order to be capable of feeling that value, we need contrast. Contrast meaning the complimentary opposite of gratitude and appreciation: pain or difficult striving.  In other words, a constant state of awareness of value (happiness) often arrives from a true understanding of its absence (pain). Without that contrast, it’s easy for life to get stuck in a middle array of emotions – a permanent state of “so-so” or “okay.”  When you live in this state for long enough, powerful emotions like gratitude and happiness are assigned to a set of general milestones (birthdays, weddings, getting a promotion etc) but outside of that it can be frustrating to find a true sense of joy.  The real kind – that moves you to tears, or sticks in your memory for the rest of your life. 

So that kind of joy is what I want to talk about.  You have the power to create that range in your life, minus the negative contrast.  It’s a super power you are likely unaware of until you actually put it to use: but when you approach life in this way, you are also expanding your capacity to feel love, gratitude and happiness. So if you’re interested in having more of those real joyful moments, this is a podcast for you. 

And if you want to read the blog version of this I will post it shortly on TeaspoonOfHappy.com

Smile lovely friends! xox


Manufacturing the Capacity for Happiness

This episode is about noticing negative thought patterns when they’re happening. 

What are negative thoughts? Bad habits. They’re not You – they’re the voice of a bad computer framework operating through you being fed by a chemical addition. You are now used to the chemical results of this thinking, so your brain wants to repeat it. They are the trained in ways of being – basically muscle memory but in your brain. So based on old experiences, just like a river wants to flow down the lowest path, so do your thoughts follow existing trained in currents.

The more often you have these thoughts – the stronger the habit becomes. In other words, you have trained in the path of the river with repetition. As a result of that – you now perceive and look for this thought habit in your everyday life – like if you’re thinking of mean people who hate you, you will see mean people who hate you. Because it’s your mindset now. Plus, now that you are looking for this thing, you find it – so negative thinking becomes self-fulfilling. What is most important about all of this: it’s all totally unconscious. The fact that they’re unconscious is also the key to stopping these thoughts! 

This episode is broken up into three parts. What. Why. How aka Tools. For the blog version, check out TeaspoonofHappy.com later this week. It also has my book references for anyone who wants to read further. 

Smile friends! xox

For more of the Buddhist psychological types – check out “The Chemistry of Joy” – linked here:
https://goo.gl/diu91t



Episode 52: How to Stop Negative Thoughts

For when you’re in the break-up zone that causes you to obsess over the person you just broke up with. 

This is for anyone who has just been broken up with or broken up with a person that they felt they loved – and now you’re obsessing and even Facebook stalking this person. Maybe you know this is not helpful but you can’t stop wanting to know what they’re doing, who they’re with, who they’re seeing now and what that person looks like. And that is hurting you even more! But it’s an obsession and you can’t stop.

Firstly – I am so sorry you’re here! This time will end. You are in the hardest part right now – and the more you can do to be self-loving and be nice to yourself, the faster this will end.  I’ve been here myself and it blows. But you can half the time you suffer if you do everything in your power to do what you know is best for yourself. And that includes some healthy tough love when it comes to policing yourself and what you allow your focus to rest on. 

This kind of a break up is way worse because it’s hitting you on multiple fronts – in other words, this is not just about the loss of love. With all break-ups, time is the greatest healer – but in addition to that, I want to empower you with some insight into your “why” so that you can begin to separate from the process you’re victim to, currently: the obsessing and salting the wound. So you can see the difference between the kinds of suffering: and see what is NOT truly coming from love.

As usual there are three parts. The what the why and the how – the tools. 

This is for Chelsea. I heart you girl! Hang in there. X 


Episode 59: Ex-Obsessed: Emotionally Devastated and Driving Yourself Insane

Oh shit. This is bad. I’m not wrong, they’re wrong. Ouch this hurts. I wish this wasn’t this way. Why does everyone hate me? I hate everyone. I am dreading going to this place. I wish I never dated that person. They’re probably talking shit about me.  I should be doing better by my age. I haven’t done anything with my life. No one loves me. I look like shit.

These are the voices of worry, shame, fear, regret, pain of various forms – the loops that play out and push us to solve for x or act according to x.  This is when you can’t find your way out of a situation and instead your life just gets smogged over by the situation: when you know that something is wrong and because of it, you feel terrible inside. Life suddenly loses its highlights.  You ask for advice, you work on plans to overcome it, you wish on it, pray on it, lament it, replay it, try to aggressively work on alleviating it, or you hide from it and numb it. And it thickens. It’s the one thing that really catalyzes a whole lot of other beliefs – and you can’t seem to figure out a workaround.  When an emotion sticks inside us it CONTROLS US and often pushes us to act on its behalf – like a little demon with a joystick inside your brain. 

So if this sounds vaguely familiar, this is an episode for you. There are three parts – the what, the why, and the how  - the tools! Before I go on I wanted to let everyone know about my second podcast called “Love is Like a Plant” with Ellen Huerta of Mend. She’s building an app to get you through a breakup. Check us out – it’s all about relationships and dating. Anyhoo. The what!

If you like what you hear and you want to support this show visit me on Patreon or head to HelpMeBeMe.com and click donate! xox

Ep 77: Something's Wrong: When Worry, Hurt, Stress and Sadness Make You Stuck

This is all about how to get the most out of your capacity and your life experiences as well as how to navigate the painful stuff. I want to talk about the growing of self, as it relates to culture and society – and how it has changed. Plus ways that you can begin to maximize your growth as a human. So this is all about you – and the way you grow yourself in this lifetime. Like a self-reflective path-tuning educational episode. 

This one’s dedicated to Rich and Aldana. Hope you like!! xo


Help Me Be Me

A Life Worth Living

Ep 79: In Living Color: Self-Examination Exercises to Get More Out of Experiences

Hi peeps, this is a cheat of an episode in that it’s about how to get closest to getting your ex back via supporting yourself. There are no cheats that will make your ex spontaneously love you if things fell apart, so think of this as a best-practices-for-best-conditions kind of thing.  

That feeling of pain and longing and even obsession over the loss of your relationship. Maybe it wasn’t something you were expecting, or you both kind of “decided” it was right but now you’re realizing it’s not at all what you wanted and you can’t stop thinking about getting back together. Maybe you’re internet stalking your ex, maybe you’re just super depressed and texting them when you get drunk. Or maybe you’re actively trying to convince them you should get back together – as respectfully as you possibly can, and you can’t for the life of you, figure out how to do this right. So this is for anyone who is trying to get their ex back or is holding their head up high and not admitting they want that, but still wishing they were magically back together– either because you broke their heart and you know now you screwed up, or because you were dumped and you were not ready or willing to have this outcome. If this is where you are – you’re likely in a split personality state that can be sometimes a belligerent puking of tears, sometimes a banal but painful loneliness, sometimes annoyingly obsessed, sometimes scary-obsessed, or sometimes feeling like complete and utter worthless shit – and ONLY your ex can make you feel stable and “yourself” again. 

If you are helped by this podcast, consider a small donation. Visit https://www.yaywithme.com/support-help-me-be-me or visit www.Patreon.com/sarahmayb

Ep 80: I Want My Ex Back - Best Practices Toward Loving Outcomes

Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/mom/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Music theme created by www.BookerHillMusic.com