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feels like im running thru a field before a storm with the wind against my ears

guitars done by @prodjpjp
rest produced by heylog
enjoy

lyrics:
starving now, it gets pretty bad
you saw it all get split in half
about every bridge has been collapsed
old friends of mine slowly detached
i think it's all my fault
questioning if i'm wrong
how do i make it stop
can't rest at all

one call was all i needed
right now, i feel completed
2019 is over
been four years and got lower
though, for me it stood out
bleed to just hear one sound
i'd die to hear that noise
the calmness of your voice
i knew how it'd turn out
soon you'd be leaving town
and i couldn't bare that thought
was hard to move on
32 degrees, lungs get colder by the second
been through hell and out
it's like there's some type of obsession
wondering the choice you made if you've ever regret it
if you gotta say something why don't you come confess it
everytime you mention how, i need to find me
don't know what ur tryna say
don't know what u mean
i think ur just saying words
you're just saying things
even you confuse yourself
you don't know what to think
the reason why i live is to hope for a day
to finally see guidance leading ur way
wonder how to start, wonder where i go
all of it requires leaving my home
been through a bit and so much has gone
you don't gotta be sorry if i went through a lot
i can see us starting a family
i think it's the only thing that'll help me

starving now, it gets pretty bad
you saw it all get split in half
about every bridge has been collapsed
old friends of mine slowly detached
i think it's all my fault
questioning if i'm wrong
how do i make it stop
can't rest at all
heart's pounding strong
been up for hours
the sun's almost up
like how do i do it
she say, "where you been"
no where
just haven't checked my phone to use it
it's all gone down in carnage
debris in my lungs
wake up, feel like garbage
and get my yeti cup
i'm obsessed, pop a can of caffeine
even 300mg can barely do a thing to me

spotify

carnage

produced by heylog

lyrics:
she's comin back to want some more
kick down my roof and breaking doors
push it away with every force
she slip right through causing war

blame it all on me cause in that head ur always right
the only head that's right for me is when ur half below my height
talkin like it's secret when i know you open wide
for anyone that comes your way who only wants a kill in sight

i needed u the most
but you were no where to be found
don't talk
hush
you have no room to be foul
i wanted you here
so don't act like we're okay
cause we're not
you stuffed me in a grave

foul

'paranoid' produced by heylog

lyrics:
we go and hike in the woods
what a perfect place to be
all my troubles behind
no sign of reality
i could live here and build
a shelter out of trees
say goodbye to the world
no electricity
the way the sun hits the water
i swear i see god himself
i feel shame, i feel hurt
it's like i'm somebody else
i try to hide but it's not
gonna help or save me
cover up all the shame
like adam and eve

i intimidate her
i think she's scared of me
cause your biggest fear is that i'll leave
and then you'll carry on
like nothing happened
and then you'll think about me one night and leech in
why don't you try me
i'm always hiding
i'm like a needle in a haystack, u won't find me
my teeth, i'm grinding
feel like i'm flying
i told you once, i'll say again you'll never find me

hanging out down by the creek
couple deer following me
if i stop to look at them they just stand there as if they freeze
why haven't they ran away?
figured they wouldn't have stayed
hear some branches crack behind now i'm paranoid of this place
look to my left and my right
check my shoulder one more time
maybe i'm a schizophrenic, i be fearing for my life
you hear that, you hear the tones?
i'm convinced i'm not alone
maybe i'll go deeper in the forest to find out if i'm pyscho

we go and hike in the woods
what a perfect place to be
all my troubles behind
no sign of reality
i could live here and build
a shelter out of trees
say goodbye to the world
no electricity
the way the sun hits the water
i swear i see god himself
i feel shame, i feel hurt
it's like i'm somebody else
i try to hide but it's not
gonna help or save me
cover up all the shame
like adam and eve

paranoid

'blinded by the sun' produced by heylog

lyrics:
you are every place i'm at, everywhere i look
what was it i said that made you this shook
i'm just telling the truth and you knew i would
don't interrupt me while i'm tryna cook
this is life
please don't cry
you're in tears
and you're worried i'm to fear
what was it i said that made you this way
everything we had now is down the drain
oh and god i don't feel the need to explain
when family asks about you i feel the pain
feel the pain

this ain't what i expected
i'm learning to accept it
it figures when i move on
you come back with aggression
who do you think u are
to appear whenever you want
do you think that's how this works
the situations now worse

𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘦?

𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰?

𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵?
𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘧𝘺𝘦𝘦 𝘦𝘦 𝘦 𝘦 𝘦𝘦𝘦𝘦𝘦 𝘦 𝘦 𝘦 𝘦  𝘦𝘦 𝘦 𝘦

why'd you make it worse than it had to be
only if u knew how i felt right then
when i see your name i barely can breathe
might as well just consider me a wretch

i hope i fall asleep and never wake
i always see u there and it feels safe
oh no please body don't u dare wake up
i'm in heaven and blinded by the sun

blinded by the sun

'12 gauge' produced by heylog

lyrics:
moving swift, moving clean
all my thrift big on me
and i look goofy when i see
order double in xl
when my body lean as hell
and it's all because i'm well
maybe i should get clothes
that i fit for my size
there are barely i own
jacket got holes in it
but ima still throw it on
cause i don't care if it's ripped
you'll never know
you'll never know
where she had went and where'd she go
i wanna leave
i wanna leave
i wonder what is stopping me
she loves borrowing my wardrobe
said i smell good, so you wear all of my clothes
and they come back smelling like her
next thing u know she has my whole attire

i'll wait 
till u make ur mind up
she wants 
everything i wear cause
all of 
it is oversized
the sleeves are 
well below her thighs
don't take 
every single thing i own
cause i'll 
need it back before u go
and she 
wonders why i said that
i'm not 
confident that this'll last

you ever think about where i been?
you ever think about who we was
cause i do
but i just pretend i don't care about us
she's always apologetic to me
but when did u ever do anything
cause i don't
i hope u will never forget about home

and she always tried on my clothes
i pretend and fake it all
what u don't know
oh, you don't know
keeping secrets way too long
and i cannot continue this
i'm struggling to exist
and u don't know
oh, you don't know
thoughts begin to overflow
you would ask for an extra large to wear
but i only have double x in there
oh but she'll wear anything that i give
so next time i'll come over with ur cares

shutting me down, wake up from rem
i had a dream of us both laying in bed
but when i woke up i thought that it was real
i tried to go back to sleep to get a feel
of what it was like again to see your eyes
i knew it was impossible if i tried
now i'm just laying here, eyelids open
i stare into darkness tryna see objects
the only thing i see is my closet ahead
the same one that bears a certain turtle neck
the same closet thats got my 'retta encaged
the same closet thats got my locked up 12 gauge
and here are these nights i spend alone
turn off the lights, open window
jump into bed, plug in my phone
when i still got 90% left to go
and i fall asleep, but before i do
i sit in silence for an hour or two
these vivid thoughts get into view
and this what it sound like when i dream of you

12 gauge

'empty roads, she's beautiful' produced by heylog

lyrics:
you see me, walk out the door
ice, freezing n storms
pray i make it home
late a.m n roads
you see me
moving along
and this is where i belong
no she don't want me home
late on empty roads

highway, empty roads
pass through constructed zones
heading straight at storms
and she's so beautiful

these dark empty roads
are filled with traffic cones
they always took so long
a patient drive back home

on empty roads
empty roads

empty roads, she's beautiful

'running shoes' produced by heylog

lyrics:
ima run away until i'm weak
ima come back fighting for my peace
hiding out, i hide inside the weeds
you won't hear from me for a few weeks
the things you say never make any sense
gotta stop the mind to second guess
ignoring my gut, it's for the best
battling to get up out of bed

ima find my way back home
streetlights barely lit
and the colors aren't even the same
some are powerless
6: 30 a mile, used to be better than this
why am i getting this tired
no i cannot call it quits
seems like you think that everything was gonna be okay
what i need is me to tell me i'll be okay
look at the ground
look at my feet as my shoes tear
the soles are falling apart
order up a new pair

𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺
𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥

get in the zone
need to be alone to focus
not any hoe you see me ever approaching
not worth my time
feel my mind boot and decoding
gather any info whether i should keep or close it
you see me
walk out the door
ice, freezing n storms
pray i make it home
late a.m. n roads
hallucinate, seeing two
punching at the air
squinting at black and grey
when the night is there
the smell of fall provides warmth
fingers in my hair
think too deep and it could end at there
think i'm fine, i'm just in too deep
go outside to run hoping the stress leaves me
i'm painting what i see
you couldn't predict at what i might bring

running shoes

'into the wind' produced by heylog

lyrics:
on my last little bit of breath
will i make it to the final stretch
but the wind has something for me instead
bones break and every single muscle group
feels torn apart, skin is turning blue
and i cannot comprehend on what hurts
seems like i did a little bit too much
pushing my limits way too far above
way too far above
the wind before winter is like getting punched
and i ain't got any spit left under my tongue
under my tongue
the wind blows on a tuesday
do you think we'll make it, what do you say
i've been away from home now for a few days
and it got to living like i'm in a new age
standing in the wind, i know it's cold out
2 somethin the morning, it's a ghost town
conscious telling me i should probably go now
cause as soon as the wind stops there ain't no sound

this ain't nothing light and nothing small or subtle breeze
just shows how much force the wind can put resist on me
run i'm almost there, i'm so so close, aheads the fin
head down, forward movement, running straight into the wind
into the wind, into the wind

into the wind

'gravel' produced by heylog

(instrumental)

gravel

prod by me :>

(skylin)
all the hatred that you're giving me is only poisoning
at least with my enemies i know what it is they seek
I rather judas instead of someone backstabbing me
oh you're pathetic askin me if I would forgive you

I never go out or talk to people like I know I should
it's easier not engaging and hiding inside my hood
sometimes I tend to fail myself and everyone around me
I guess it kinda scared me from socially interacting

on the darkest days I don't know who it is that I will call
but I am hoping you answer because im bout to fall
and I don't know where I am going but ik you know it all
so I am calling out to you please do not let me fall


(heylog)
catch me on the other end
what i said i really meant
what are all the thoughts your brain holds
what's inside that head
i think i finally figured you out
i think it's time to step out your life now
i don't know what i did for you to become untied to me
if you're gonna act like this then break it off entirely
and if i would've known your emotions would all start piling
then i would've kept it hush instead of you crying to me
i was there for you when no one else was
now i'm seeing the truth and exposing your bluffs
i was there for you at your lowest point
don't go and blame it on me, this wasn't my choice

[[anger - disconnect]]

traitor w/heylog

traitor w/ heylog (Now on Spotify)

produced by heylog

lyrics:
baby i am goin
goin goin
i'm goin
know it know it know it
just know it
goin goin goin
i'm goin
know it know it know it
just know it
(2x)

i no longer am vacant
thank the lord i made it out alive
i was never complacent
but i heard i was sticking in your mind
even if that wasn't true
ain't nobody stoppin you
split my brain in half, in two
i hate that i gotta leave you

baby i am goin
goin goin
i'm goin
know it know it know it
just know it
goin goin goin
i'm goin
know it know it know it
just know it
(2x)

into the wind

heylog

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onlyish

SilentSirus 👾

𝐋4𝚂7x𝔹ℝ347ℍ

𝐋4𝚂7x𝔹ℝ347ℍ

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