heylog♡

Heylog Playlist

heylog

Spotify: lnkfi.re/heylogaloneagain
AMV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFIYFgu2tWY

Artist:
@heylog

Lyrics:
no luck, i'm bored about everyday
you suck and i would say it to your face
know why i'm here but i don't have to stay
it's because i love you so i won't walk away
but that's something i'd say in the past
moving on to new friends, discover new laughs
i've held this loneliness for too long
seeing friends but why do i still feel alone
alone again
i love my life
i burn my hand
i love my life
she asked me,
"how do you do?"
well i hate myself
but what's new?

alone again
i've lost my mind
i heal my skin
oh i'm alright
she asked me,
"so what's new"
well like nothing
and what about you

no luck, i'm bored about everyday
i suck, i do nothing to make a change
building up my anger i got so much hate
if i were you i'd leave, why don't you walk away
but you got something to say? cause you keep staring at me
and i would talk to you but i'm too busy sweating
and the social awkwardness is getting to me
oh i went too long without socializing

so just run away cause i look like a monster
im sorry, that i hurt your daughter
i know your family hates me but your dad yeah he was pretty cool
maybe you should learn from him take off that worthless costume
alone again
i love my life
i burn my hand
i love my life
she asked me,
"how do you do?"
well i hate myself
but what's new?

alone again
i messed up bad
i cut my skin
and grow it back

heylog - alone again

featuring @user-411557229
produced by heylog

lyrics:
(heylog)
the veins in my skin pop out when i'm warm
i handle a blade and point to my arm
oh she'd be upset if i put it through
i'll put it away but only for u
well this time u won, you proud of yourself
i put us down, no need to be held
i've suffered too long in my mental state
i'm harming myself, does it look like i'm okay
i said u were right
and i'm sorry just know i'm not bright
or the smartest, keep beating my eyes
till they're blue and to where i can't see
now they're swollen, i'm blind in my view
and now everyday feel like i lose
but i'm trying to cope without u
and it's hard oh baby it's hard
so wish me ur luck and ur regards

it drips from my forearm to my shirt
watching the blood fall is the worst
ignore all of your calls cus i've learned
i made it a full year without her
I LISTEN TO NONSENSE ON A BASIS
IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD AND IT'S MY FAVORITE
I KEPT THEM AROUND FOR ENTERTAINMENT
I CHOOSE TO STAY PRIVATE AND FACELESS
DON'T TEXT ME
DON'T CALL ME
I'VE WITNESS AUTOPSY
DON'T COME HOME
I WON'T BE HERE
I LEFT SO IT'S SINCERE
a lots on my mind
like my future and maybe a wife
and i wonder if music's my prize
it's the only thing going for me
been a week since i've gone outside
i'm pathetic it sums up my life
forgot her and god it's about time
and something that i can't help but think
if ur disappointed in me

(residential)
tell me what you find
deep inside her eyes
cause she used to be kind
until she lost her mind

blade in the basement
i'm high but i'm anxious
snapping back the hat when i am next in the rotation
thought i found myself, but i'm in dissociation
love being alone, but i don't fuck with isolation

quarter ounce
pack it up and take me out
you said i’d be better now
but all i got are pills around

where the fuck you’ve been at
you left your nail marks on my back
now i'm going too fast
but i can't help but think about the past
i just smoked what was left in the bag
and i really don't mind if i crash

spotify

pathetic ft. residential

'goodbye' produced by heylog

lyrics:
almost 5am, i find it harder to sleep
i crack the window and i hear every animal sing
with a wind blowing soft, rustling through the leaves
admire nature as it comes alive from winter to spring
the flowers grow so tall that they start to bloom
and i just took a couple out cus i picked them for u
hoping one day you'll travel here to see what's new
cus this bouquet is gonna die if u don't visit me soon
and i
have a difficult time
spending days
when ur on my mind
wish this
would just go away
cus i'm trying to push u away
why
do i feel lonely
knowing i
hurt to see
an outcast
no one wants to be
and giggled at
n always being teased

can someone give a valid reason on why i shouldn't die
in disbelief that i will never see a point in life
i'm on and off of feeling bad and for a second i'm fine
it's so messed up and i don't think that i will ever resign
i'm so bipolar and i don't want u to see me like this
cus i guarantee i'll scare u if i speak from my chest
i didn't mean for u to leave when u saw that on my wrist
and i'm so sorry for putting u through all of this 
so why
do u keep playing w me
is it cause
u get lonely
in the night
and think of us
well it's fine
cus i think of us too
why
do i feel like this
well nevermind
cus u don't care about this
and if i die
will u grieve
and will cry
and will u miss me

CAN SOMEONE GIVE A VALID REASON ON WHY I SHOULDN'T DIE
CAUSE YOU MAKE ME WANNA KILL MYSELF OR GO GRAB THE KNIFE
I'M AT THE AGE WHERE I CAN NEVER SEE A POINT IN LIFE
IN DISBELIEF OF EVERYTHING THAT I'M JUST WASTING MY TIME
I'M SO BIPOLAR AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE ME LIKE THIS
CAUSE I GUARANTEE I'LL SCARE YOU IF I SPEAK FROM MY CHEST
I'M AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN WITH ALL OF MY REGRETS
THERE'S MANY THINGS I WISH WERE GONE OR WISH I COULD RESET
I STEP INTO THE LIGHT AND DID THIS WITHOUT A GROUP
AND SO YOU NOTICING ME NOW WHEN I'M STEADY ON THE MOVE
AND YOU JUST THINK IT'S ALL OKAY TO HIT ME UP OUT OF THE BLUE
I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND OR TYPE OF BENEFIT TO SATISFY YOU
SO PLEASE GIVE A VALID REASON THAT YOU WANT ME DEAD
IS IT SAFE TO EVEN KNOW THAT THIS JUST MIGHT BE A TEST
FOR YOU TO TRICK ME INTO THINKING I'M NOTHING BUT A MESS
DELETE YOUR IMAGE THAT I LONGED FOR AND NOT SEEN AGAIN

if i can't love
will i end up
alone and forgot
or spend it w someone
i can't fall in love
my hearts dead
probably numb
i miss u my dear
it feels like it's been years

no way home
i was never close
the path ends here
don't know where to go
stone cold lies
i knew i was right
so farewell
cus this is goodbye

goodbye

'destroy' produced by heylog

lyrics:
often this summer we fight & start over
u were the best but this bye ain't forever
i'll make some space for ur tears on my shoulder
cus i'll still be here when ur ready to come home

don't cry i'm here with u
through every bump i still love you
don't give up, we'll survive the storm
i promise to keep u warm
babe i try but it's so hard
another boy is probably locked in ur arms
i have no hope of trying again
do u believe we've come to an end

i'm so goin numb, rip my heart out and my guts
love for me is lost and this pain is all for what?
(why)
i built an outer shell, ain't no one allowed in here
i keep my circle small and i shrink it every year
i'm still growing up and i fear the endless void
that i might get sucked in and soon to be destroyed
(destroy)
never would i want u to feel like ur not safe
i see fear in ur eyes when i found ur true place
why u always lie
don't joke it's not the time
i'm not here to pick sides
i'm just here to sit tight
she leveled to my waistline
and give me the rude eye
no something don't sit right
emotionless incline

I ALWAYS GET WORSE BEFORE I GET ANY GOOD
WHY CAN I NOT LEARN WHEN I KNOW I PROBABLY SHOULD
I LOOK AT MYSELF AND I HATE THE FACE I SEE
YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THESE WORDS TRULY MEAN
	
i just need to isolate before i go and lose it
on some stupid situation i have no control with
watch me think over my head
at this point i'm useless
i won't match up to your degree
who in here is uncommon like me
just leave me alone
before i destroy us
away with everything
and everyone

destroy

produced by heylog

lyrics:
swear i could throw up if i keep thinking of you
you disgust me and i guess u wanted to prove
that ur shameful you gave it all up for him
just some pleasure to receive from a little bitch
i need to let it go
but it haunts me to my deepest core

surround me in this darkness whom i spare
there is plenty more for you so join me in here
i need to let u know
that u disgust me
and i can't look at u no more
get myself to do things but i never wanna do them
once i go outside i'm proud i got myself to do it
you disappoint me to the point i never wanna see you
your motions say it all from what you n him have been through

now ur shameful you gave it all up for him
oh just a finger to receive between your lips

pleasure

produced by hiraeth and heylog <3

You’ve got nothing to say to me
I’m drowning in the ocean
Always complain to me
I’m dealing with my own shit
Filling my vacancy
(Just breathe)
If I died tomorow I bet nobody’d even notice

harder to breathe
when ur around I’m losing focus
Trying to speak, the words can’t seem to leave my vocal
Getting likes on ig
cause ur half naked in the photos
I’m dying to sleep, if I wake up im meeting god bro

Stay closer to me
I swear that nobody can touch you
if they tried
I’d grit my teeth and fight them all for you
I’m tryna hide, stop tryna reason what I been thru
It’s not my time, I’d kill anyone laying next to you

never should've went for u
and i ain't know your friend exists
if that was the case i would restart and go for her instead
what a shame
u let your life to pieces
who's to blame
(you)
you're the only reason i can't focus
got me losing sleep
and shit oh how i own it
tell that b-
she can drink bleach
you let it out there in the open
u show yourself no respect
and i wonder if u know this

i'm tired of preaching cus babe it really-
babe it hurts from underneath
all the wasted memories
don't go down, get off your knees
it's not the time for any pleasing

bleach ft. heylog

produced by heylog

lyrics:
so
is this the end
we won't give up
just yet
so
what's next
i'll wait for you
even if you've met
someone else

you'll miss me
well i'll miss u too
staring at the sky
cus i see you
you need me
and i need u too
i just need to find where u went
i'm lost, unspoken
don't blame me for parting ways i had to cut u off
even when i smiled you just had to wipe it off
escape into the woods where no species exist at all
i might've found safety and that was all i want

so
this where we end?
i can't give up
just yet..
so
what's next
i'll wait for u
but you probly met
someone else

slip

produced by heylog

lyrics:
her eyes frown upon me looking at the mess
marks are on my shoulder blade and right below my neck
oh she can't stand the look i give her back
please don't be afraid
it was just a little scratch

it was just a little scratch..

u make me nervous
sending chills from head to toe
i could feel ur fingertips 
dig into my bones
i'm not scared at all
you can have me by my throat
her iris weakens thee
the brown just got a hold of me

a hold of me..

you look cold so i'll keep u warm
keep u warm
walking through the snow and i see ur door
see ur door
u look so pretty waiting there for me
there for me
sparks are round ur eyes when u stare at me
stare at me

stare at me
stare at me..

iris

produced by heylog 

lyrics:
I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT YOU WHEN I REST
I LIKE TO THINK WE'LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN
SHE DON'T WANT ME TO LEAVE
NOW SHE'S BEGGING HER DAD FOR ME TO STAY
I THINK ABOUT IT WHEN WE MET
BUT ALL THESE MEMORIES ARE DEAD
I FEEL IT SLOWLY DISSIPATE
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TIME TO WALK AWAY
notice how it falls in deeper
deeper
oh, it goes deeper
know that i can't be ur healer
healer
healer
ur healer
EVERYTHING'S ABOUT YOU AND THE REST
BUT I GOT TO GO WITHOUT YOU CAUSE IT'S BEST
I LIKE TO THINK WE'LL CROSS PATHS SOMEWHERE ELSE
I HATE THAT THESE THOUGHTS ARE WHERE I DWELL

notice how i fall in deeper
deeper
oh, i go deeper
baby, i can't be ur healer
healer
healer
ur healer

𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵, 𝘪'𝘮 𝘶𝘱𝘴𝘦𝘵
𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘯
𝘪 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭

i don't say enough prayer
or kneel beside the bed
i ask on some nights
to see you again
i didn't find anything
or see any signs
unless they were right in front of me this whole time
i hate that all of my friends
live so far away
it's very lonely
and it's so cliche
i like thinking of you
i do it a lot
why give attention to something that's forever gone?

I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT YOU WHEN I REST
I LIKE TO THINK WE'LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN
SHE DON'T WANT ME TO LEAVE
NOW SHE'S BEGGING HER DAD FOR ME TO STAY
I THINK ABOUT IT WHEN WE MET
BUT ALL THESE MEMORIES ARE DEAD
I FEEL IT SLOWLY DISSIPATE
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TIME TO WALK AWAY

healer

'12 gauge' produced by heylog

lyrics:
moving swift, moving clean
all my thrift big on me
and i look goofy when i see
order double in xl
when my body lean as hell
and it's all because i'm well
maybe i should get clothes
that i fit for my size
there are barely i own
jacket got holes in it
but ima still throw it on
cause i don't care if it's ripped
you'll never know
you'll never know
where she had went and where'd she go
i wanna leave
i wanna leave
i wonder what is stopping me
she loves borrowing my wardrobe
said i smell good, so you wear all of my clothes
and they come back smelling like her
next thing u know she has my whole attire

i'll wait 
till u make ur mind up
she wants 
everything i wear cause
all of 
it is oversized
the sleeves are 
well below her thighs
don't take 
every single thing i own
cause i'll 
need it back before u go
and she 
wonders why i said that
i'm not 
confident that this'll last

you ever think about where i been?
you ever think about who we was
cause i do
but i just pretend i don't care about us
she's always apologetic to me
but when did u ever do anything
cause i don't
i hope u will never forget about home

and she always tried on my clothes
i pretend and fake it all
what u don't know
oh, you don't know
keeping secrets way too long
and i cannot continue this
i'm struggling to exist
and u don't know
oh, you don't know
thoughts begin to overflow
you would ask for an extra large to wear
but i only have double x in there
oh but she'll wear anything that i give
so next time i'll come over with ur cares

shutting me down, wake up from rem
i had a dream of us both laying in bed
but when i woke up i thought that it was real
i tried to go back to sleep to get a feel
of what it was like again to see your eyes
i knew it was impossible if i tried
now i'm just laying here, eyelids open
i stare into darkness tryna see objects
the only thing i see is my closet ahead
the same one that bears a certain turtle neck
the same closet thats got my 'retta encaged
the same closet thats got my locked up 12 gauge
and here are these nights i spend alone
turn off the lights, open window
jump into bed, plug in my phone
when i still got 90% left to go
and i fall asleep, but before i do
i sit in silence for an hour or two
these vivid thoughts get into view
and this what it sound like when i dream of you

12 gauge

'empty roads, she's beautiful' produced by heylog

lyrics:
you see me, walk out the door
ice, freezing n storms
pray i make it home
late a.m n roads
you see me
moving along
and this is where i belong
no she don't want me home
late on empty roads

highway, empty roads
pass through constructed zones
heading straight at storms
and she's so beautiful

these dark empty roads
are filled with traffic cones
they always took so long
a patient drive back home

on empty roads
empty roads

empty roads, she's beautiful

'running shoes' produced by heylog

lyrics:
ima run away until i'm weak
ima come back fighting for my peace
hiding out, i hide inside the weeds
you won't hear from me for a few weeks
the things you say never make any sense
gotta stop the mind to second guess
ignoring my gut, it's for the best
battling to get up out of bed

ima find my way back home
streetlights barely lit
and the colors aren't even the same
some are powerless
6: 30 a mile, used to be better than this
why am i getting this tired
no i cannot call it quits
seems like you think that everything was gonna be okay
what i need is me to tell me i'll be okay
look at the ground
look at my feet as my shoes tear
the soles are falling apart
order up a new pair

𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺
𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥

get in the zone
need to be alone to focus
not any hoe you see me ever approaching
not worth my time
feel my mind boot and decoding
gather any info whether i should keep or close it
you see me
walk out the door
ice, freezing n storms
pray i make it home
late a.m. n roads
hallucinate, seeing two
punching at the air
squinting at black and grey
when the night is there
the smell of fall provides warmth
fingers in my hair
think too deep and it could end at there
think i'm fine, i'm just in too deep
go outside to run hoping the stress leaves me
i'm painting what i see
you couldn't predict at what i might bring

running shoes

'into the wind' produced by heylog

lyrics:
on my last little bit of breath
will i make it to the final stretch
but the wind has something for me instead
bones break and every single muscle group
feels torn apart, skin is turning blue
and i cannot comprehend on what hurts
seems like i did a little bit too much
pushing my limits way too far above
way too far above
the wind before winter is like getting punched
and i ain't got any spit left under my tongue
under my tongue
the wind blows on a tuesday
do you think we'll make it, what do you say
i've been away from home now for a few days
and it got to living like i'm in a new age
standing in the wind, i know it's cold out
2 somethin the morning, it's a ghost town
conscious telling me i should probably go now
cause as soon as the wind stops there ain't no sound

this ain't nothing light and nothing small or subtle breeze
just shows how much force the wind can put resist on me
run i'm almost there, i'm so so close, aheads the fin
head down, forward movement, running straight into the wind
into the wind, into the wind

into the wind

produced by heylog

lyrics:
baby i am goin
goin goin
i'm goin
know it know it know it
just know it
goin goin goin
i'm goin
know it know it know it
just know it
(2x)

i no longer am vacant
thank the lord i made it out alive
i was never complacent
but i heard i was sticking in your mind
even if that wasn't true
ain't nobody stoppin you
split my brain in half, in two
i hate that i gotta leave you

baby i am goin
goin goin
i'm goin
know it know it know it
just know it
goin goin goin
i'm goin
know it know it know it
just know it
(2x)