prod by xona<3 this beat sucks im sorry(,:

thank you to all the ppl that help me make this ily (all in order)
@reesoo
@heylog
@hovis
@moodyriley
@quannnic
-comet
@1vil
@uglysneaker
@valerii

avoid

spotify

avoid w/ reesoo, heylog, hovis, moodyriley, comet, vil, uglysneaker & valerii

prod logan

lyrics:
fall slowly
all the debt it cost me
run, charge me
oh the pains so lovely
burn to ash
watch all unfold
safe before i crash
u were too hard to hold

it was too hard to hold
i had to let go
why won't the problems stay away
i swear this shits just getting old

fall slowly
all the debt it cost me
run, charge me
oh the pains so lovely
ur wasting so much time
but it's all apart of your plan
throw my soul in fire
as u wash me off your hands

so lovely

'next to u' produced by heylog

lyrics:
𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘪 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴,
𝘪 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵

𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶?

u make it so hard to live
i feel like i'm in hell
my parents ain't raise no kid
who'll just end up killing himself
i could shut down
and no one will ever find me
i could lie down
and see u there next to me

i need u to focus
i'm crying, i'm broken
but no one really cares how i'm feeling so hopeless
i hate ur guts
and i hate ur friends
i realized u all suck
so i'll just cut u instead
now i think of u less
cus i thought highly of you
so i distanced away
to try something new
i'm steady being myself
something you'd never do
but i still wish u the best
even though i still hate you

YOU TEXTED ME
I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY
I'LL RESPOND IN A WEEK
MAYBE 2, MAYBE 3
AVOIDING US AND MOVE ON
THOUGH I STILL WRITE YOU IN SONGS
IT'S THE EMOTIONS YOU HOLD
THAT NEVER FEELS WRONG
GOD I'M SO DISAPPOINTED AT EVERYTHING THAT I DO
I'LL PLAY SOME GUITAR, RECORD A COUPLE OF LOOPS
BUT IT AIN'T MET WITH MY STANDARDS
SO I START SOMETHING NEW
AT LEAST I PUT IN SOME WORK
WHICH YOU'LL NEVER DO
TAKIN PICS OF THE WALL
ADD A PLANT AND A BOOK
WRITE A VERSE AND A BRIDGE
CUS I AIN'T GOOD WITH NO HOOK
I KEEP REPEATING MYSELF
AM I SPEAKING TOO MUCH?
I'M NOT A PERSON WHO TALKS
SO I'LL JUST CHILL IN THE BACK AND WATCH

next to u

prod logan

lyrics:
wait here for a minute
i'll be back in a moment
tie me to a rope
pull it back, cut me open
everything we did together
(god)
likes to haunt me
i take it with a grain of salt and everything you taught me
in the end i'm still a human but you hate that
cause you put me in a bottle when u face back
and i remember we were tight but i don't trace back
so ima move on with my life and never think "past"
cause i don't wanna get caught up in flames i've been in before
i see my problems and delete like i just been through a war
and i got 24 hours and 7 days filled with bored
but when someone asks me to hang i don't have time to afford
and by that i mean i just wanna hangout by myself
& i'm sorry but i'd rather work on music n melt
cause oh my god this heat has got me sweating hotter than hell
i haven't showered for a while and i'm starting to smell
now i look into the mirror, sensing anger in me
i wanna smash it into pieces, i don't wanna be weak
i wanna get me out this town and move somewhere overseas
i'm tryna get me to the top but i'm progressing with ease
and the last thing ima do is hang my head and give up
i think they're praying me to fall but so far they're outta luck
cause i continue steady work while they're hungover as f-
and on the weekends i be staying home cause it's just as fun

again

guitars done by @prodjpjp
rest produced by heylog

lyrics:
starving now, it gets pretty bad
you saw it all get split in half
about every bridge has been collapsed
old friends of mine slowly detached
i think it's all my fault
questioning if i'm wrong
how do i make it stop
can't rest at all

one call was all i needed
right now, i feel completed
2019 is over
been four years and got lower
though, for me it stood out
bleed to just hear one sound
i'd die to hear that noise
the calmness of your voice
i knew how it'd turn out
soon you'd be leaving town
and i couldn't bare that thought
was hard to move on
32 degrees, lungs get colder by the second
been through hell and out
it's like there's some type of obsession
wondering the choice you made if you've ever regret it
if you gotta say something why don't you come confess it
everytime you mention how, i need to find me
don't know what ur tryna say
don't know what u mean
i think ur just saying words
you're just saying things
even you confuse yourself
you don't know what to think
the reason why i live is to hope for a day
to finally see guidance leading ur way
wonder how to start, wonder where i go
all of it requires leaving my home
been through a bit and so much has gone
you don't gotta be sorry if i went through a lot
i can see us starting a family
i think it's the only thing that'll help me

starving now, it gets pretty bad
you saw it all get split in half
about every bridge has been collapsed
old friends of mine slowly detached
i think it's all my fault
questioning if i'm wrong
how do i make it stop
can't rest at all
heart's pounding strong
been up for hours
the sun's almost up
like how do i do it
she say, "where you been"
no where
just haven't checked my phone to use it
it's all gone down in carnage
debris in my lungs
wake up, feel like garbage
and get my yeti cup
i'm obsessed, pop a can of caffeine
even 300mg can barely do a thing to me

carnage

'blinded by the sun' produced by heylog

lyrics:
you are every place i'm at, everywhere i look
what was it i said that made you this shook
i'm just telling the truth and you knew i would
don't interrupt me while i'm tryna cook
this is life
please don't cry
you're in tears
and you're worried i'm to fear
what was it i said that made you this way
everything we had now is down the drain
oh and god i don't feel the need to explain
when family asks about you i feel the pain
feel the pain

this ain't what i expected
i'm learning to accept it
it figures when i move on
you come back with aggression
who do you think u are
to appear whenever you want
do you think that's how this works
the situations now worse

𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘦?

𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰?

𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵?
𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘧𝘺𝘦𝘦 𝘦𝘦 𝘦 𝘦 𝘦𝘦𝘦𝘦𝘦 𝘦 𝘦 𝘦 𝘦  𝘦𝘦 𝘦 𝘦

why'd you make it worse than it had to be
only if u knew how i felt right then
when i see your name i barely can breathe
might as well just consider me a wretch

i hope i fall asleep and never wake
i always see u there and it feels safe
oh no please body don't u dare wake up
i'm in heaven and blinded by the sun

blinded by the sun

'running shoes' produced by heylog

lyrics:
ima run away until i'm weak
ima come back fighting for my peace
hiding out, i hide inside the weeds
you won't hear from me for a few weeks
the things you say never make any sense
gotta stop the mind to second guess
ignoring my gut, it's for the best
battling to get up out of bed

ima find my way back home
streetlights barely lit
and the colors aren't even the same
some are powerless
6: 30 a mile, used to be better than this
why am i getting this tired
no i cannot call it quits
seems like you think that everything was gonna be okay
what i need is me to tell me i'll be okay
look at the ground
look at my feet as my shoes tear
the soles are falling apart
order up a new pair

𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺
𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥

get in the zone
need to be alone to focus
not any hoe you see me ever approaching
not worth my time
feel my mind boot and decoding
gather any info whether i should keep or close it
you see me
walk out the door
ice, freezing n storms
pray i make it home
late a.m. n roads
hallucinate, seeing two
punching at the air
squinting at black and grey
when the night is there
the smell of fall provides warmth
fingers in my hair
think too deep and it could end at there
think i'm fine, i'm just in too deep
go outside to run hoping the stress leaves me
i'm painting what i see
you couldn't predict at what i might bring

running shoes

produced by logan

if you need me i wont be there
when you wake up, in front are stairs
have to hold back on what i want
i would love to be this blunt
save yourself
dont die in my arms
if word got out, youd be behind bars
save yourself
dont bleed in my arms
if you got out, youd be behind bars

i know something you dont know
i know i know i know i know
think im stupid? ive watched you close
im watchin watchin watchin been watchin
hows the weather over there
tell me why the fuck you scared

scared

produced by heylog

lyrics:
i don't have anything
to offer while he sell himself
imma tie him down with rope
and somebody duct tape his mouth
god u must be tweaking
you've done nothing to deserve a crown
deep down he struggles envy
he blocks it with the words he shouts

no get back
tunnel vision getting up
i swear i'm close to cardiac
i'm already dead inside
my heart is turning jet black
you don't wanna touch it
it's contagious
permanent
once the point in love if i continue to keep breaking it
no get back
tunnel vision getting up
i swear i'm close to cardiac
i'm already dead inside
my heart is turning jet black
you don't wanna touch it
it's contagious
permanent
once the point in love if i continue to keep breaking it

now i'm growing
let the pistol talk
guarantee it'll make him frozen
i think i'm convincing myself i'm going mental
you may have me if you promise to be gentle
my heart may be dark but i promise you it's fragile
yeah i promise you it's fragile
she was saying she relates
but i don't think you do though
no i don't think you do bro
caught them both off guard
yeah i'm lurking in the shadows
finna put him on a gallow
i just opened up to her
sentimental
basic literature
uneventful
now people think they're gods writing poems
just because u take notes
don't make you a poet
if u ever need help
you know i got your back
cause i been through hell
don't want u to go through that
don't know how u felt
good or were u trashed
continue wasting herself
a girl who is down bad

no get back
tunnel vision getting up
i swear i'm close to cardiac
i'm already dead inside
my heart is turning jet black
you don't wanna touch it
its contagious
permanent
once the point in love if i continue to keep breaking it
no get back
tunnel vision getting up
i swear i'm close to cardiac
i'm already dead inside
my heart is turning jet black
you don't wanna touch it
it's contagious
permanent
once the point in love if i continue to keep breaking it

you were all i got
so sad you had to leave
i still have your stuff
but i keep it out of reach
baby it was tough
i gave u everything
don't know if it was wrong
but i don't regret a thing
i don't wanna know
how you been lately
cause i already know
you gotta new baby
didn't want u to go
sacrifice for your dreams
lost contact on my phone
u wont hear from me

(so sad u had to leave)
(i keep it out of reach)
(gave u everything)
(i don't regret a thing)
(how u been lately)
(gotta new baby)
(sacrifice for your dreams)
(u wont hear from me)