pretty and simple. wish i got a letter too

Its not that hard.

Art shot and edited by me, and finalized by vai5000

lyrics

I claw and I tear me apart
But theres no sign of wear on my skin
I keep calling it some form of art
Yet I still don't know where to begin

Its not that hard
Its not that hard
Its not that hard
Its not that hard

The dealer, they call out my bluff
And prevent me from playing my hand
And although I don't think its enough
I'm too powerless to make a stand

I'll play my part
I'll play my part
I'll play my part (its not that hard)
I'll play my part (its not that hard)

Oh you're hurtin your hurtin your
Hurtin your hurtin your head 
I don't know how you do it just saying you're fine

And you're getting too comfortable
Lying around on your floor with no thoughts in your head
Only tears in your eyes

And I know that I've got no prescription
That will cure any of my deception
And I can't find some kind of prevention
For this turning into some fixation
So I try 
And I try
And I try
And I try
And I try
And I try
And I try
And I try it again

Oh no you wouldn't get it
No you wouldn't get it
No you wouldn't get it

I admit its not really a problem (but it only serves nothing to you)
Even if you can't look at me right (cause you say what you know isn't true)
I can say that it doesn't affect me (but you think of it everyday)
When you call me the person I was 
But that's all that you see (oh but how did you make it this way)
But I look in the mirror and its not really me (so you try and you try it again)
Its counter-productive cause' I can't the words out (but the cycle it just doesn't end)
And just say what I mean 
Its so tiring

So whats all the point of this trying

And it all seems to burden my psyche
So I mask it all at my expense
Still my body deteriorates beside me
And it just doesn't seem to make sense
And the toller knows nothing about it
And it pains me to pay him the fee
The amount of my life that's been wasted and lost in the weeds
Its still just me
No its just me


And its getting too
Getting too
Getting too
Getting too close to the eminent feeling
That you're gonna die
(but you won't go yet)
(no you won't go yet)
(no you can't go yet)

And now that you are older and
Everything's smaller
Do you start to wonder "where did I go wrong in my life?"

So I lie
Cause I'm fine
No, I'm fine

And I'm so tired
And sick of trying
So why not
So why not


And it all seems to burden my psyche
So I mask it all at my expense
Still my body deteriorates beside me
And it just doesn't seem to make sense
And the toller knows nothing about it
And it pains me to pay him the fee
The amount of my life that's been wasted and lost in the weeds
Its still just me
Its still just me

Body

i watch you wander the country with a fist full of stars
building your towers of honey and breaking them apart
and darling you won't regret it if you give me a piece of your heart
cause i know you won't admit it but you're painting me over your scars

sitting in the light as it dawns, you're blossoming all the flowers
lay and watch the night as it falls, i lost count of all the hours
oh the world is a tape player, write me a song
and i'll sing it to you

we watch the planes disappear and the planets embark
making a wish on a chemtrail, on saturn or mars
and darling they're crossed again, but i'm the man who made everything hard
our magnetic confluence is nothing more than a wish on a star

i could be a spark in your eyes, the space where i fly is endless
there i'm just an old satellite, searching for my repentance
oh i've been flying forever and ain't found no god
but he's speaking through you

don't look down

https://ffm.to/alwayswere

cover art by noah geene https://temberl.in/ 

i think i see it in the distance 
___________________________________
always were, like you always were
its the rote screen door on your front porch 
where you fell asleep on the tile floor
but you've unstrung all your britching now

bite my tongue 'till it falls right off
its the tailgate on that fane barbwire 
trace the windshield as we drove for miles 
spurn the sauder on the backing line
and i swear i saw you standing at the edge 

and it was beautiful 
and it was beautiful 
and it was beautiful 
and it was beautiful 

forget it, forget it, the day is done
forget it, forget it, you saved it once
i get it, i get it, you've frayed and rubbed the velvet off your antlers

and it was beautiful 
and it was beautiful 

forget it, forget it, the day is done
forget it, forget it, you saved it once
i get it, i get it, you've frayed and rubbed the velvet off your antlers

always were

I ran home cuz I thought I was fired
And man all these joints are tired
And I said “wait” I was waiting for a serenade
Tell me everything about your damn day
Lay me out front if you threw a grenade
So why?
Do I seem distracted to you?
It’s beautiful to lay awake in my eyes

So watch it all be enough for you to take in
Watch it all be enough for you to let in
I tried to face the great divide
It only tired me out

11.6.23

The Great Divide

Pond Scum (Group Project)

headphone recommend
spotify: 
https://ffm.to/3rg4qvn


lyrics:
i'm still here searching for that same thing
definition of insanity has the same ring to it
i hope you don't mind me brushing you off again like that
cause I need more reasons to be feeling this bad

i'm still here searching for that same thing
definition of insanity has the same ring to it
i hope you don't mind me brushing you off again like that
cause I need more reasons to be feeling this bad

got a list of things that I wanna do when I feel just right
i wanna go outside more
cut my hair
i wanna be there

I wanna be there

schema

made in 8 hours after thinking hard to myself for a while.
this project is in 7/4 (mb gang)

-lyrics-
**n33t and hidden contact talking**
**me recording myself in my room**

went far to see the sun rise
i saw her climb into the sky
if things go wrong its alright
i know it gets better with time

do you know what its like
to be cast aside (i know)
wanted to say so much more
im out to give the warmth

what can i do if its me
if things go wrong its alright
i know it gets better with time

what if its me

i wish i’d get a letter
but does it really work like that?
why do i want it so bad?

i wish i could sing better
but it doesn’t work out like that
why do i want it so bad?

i was dreaming i was spending
new years with you on the couch
watching tv and holding hands with
fireworks firing out

and if i’m with you, i’d be near too much
can’t believe i was confused for months
now i’m so easy to take over,
we would both agree

dress for winter boy
see you in red and olive green

i wish i’d get a letter
does it really work like that?
why do i want it so bad?

i wish i could sing better
but it doesn’t work out like that
why do i want it so bad?

just some form of confession
of any form

get a letter

https://ffm.to/basalt 

cover art by noah greene https://temberl.in/

everything is different now
_________________________________

blood it crusts the mantle, sequence in stairs

tephra crests the marrow, applique if she cared

but you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me i won't open wide
but you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me and i'm terrified

and i told you that day, and the rust fell that may,
and the ash coned and the steel groaned saw your visage through the smoke one last time
now it's unrequited, wasn't your onus, thank god you were honest
I'll hull to the harbor i won't surrender what i had promised, won't embed it against you
but nothing can change the fact that i trust you
and nothing can change the fact that i love you

stare at the asphalt, refuse to bloom

won't cherish the basalt, a pyrrhic sige there 
backstitch the petiole, oblique she's the heir 

wading through traft bullaces solely reverie

can't rathe to rue it's ellipsis, who are we?

but you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me magma hit my eyes
but you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me and i'm terrified

faltered all at once the walls i'd woven pylons corrallings,

the fumaroles atoned it billowed oxidized recoiled on hem, i'm still terrified

but you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me whither watch it writhe
but you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me whither watch it writhe
but you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me and i'm terrified

vain to scrape the tungsten, abjured alloy, but I'm just like them, no I'm just like them




contains vocal samples by https://www.youtube.com/@SouliaSora

basalt

[NOTE] Due to SoundCloud copyright issues the audio file has been pitched up 50 cents

https://evangeline.info

Produced, written and performed by Evangeline
lyrics: https://genius.com/Evangeline-au-end-of-life-lyrics

End-of-life

with @9nasu
i used the fly in the wind
i used to sing with all of my friends
but suddenly i descend

you don't wanna see this
when i don't feel like breathing
and when i close my eyes
i can barely catch sleep
i can barely feel

i won't waste your time
i won't be online
i’m trying to make it right
i'll still be home

i know it will be just fine
know i can't go, no i can't forget you
i know it will be just fine
know i can't go, no i can't just run away

i used the fly in the wind
i used to sing with all of my friends

i'll make it alright
find me home, i know it will be just fine
know i can't go, no i can't forget you
i know it will be just fine
know i can't go

when i don't feel like breathing
and when i close my eyes
i can barely catch sleep
i can barely feel

i won't waste your time
i won't be online
i’m trying to make it right
i'll still be on

i'll still be alright
i know it will be just fine
know i can't go, no i can't forget you
i know it will be just fine
no i can't go

mourning dove with nasu

Gala Unurbatar
June 7, 2000

rooting for you

get a letter

hidden contact

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