pistol ft. hkfiftyone (prod. metlast x luffy)

this is the story of a boy who knew too much
so the world was always gray, and he had no sense of touch
and he kept himself real safe inside the confines of his bed
but he was not alone, hearing all the words been said

all my friends are the demons in my head
and we always have a talk every time i go to bed
but i don't think they're my favorite, they just wanna rub it in
that you're probably gone forever, but i should not give a shit 'cause

that's life, but i really wish it ain't
'cause like everytime i panic, i can't breath and then i faint
but it's probably 'cause i never eat enough, now i'm drained
i just got no appetite since you split, i'm detained

this is the story of a girl who felt too much
she just wanted to be held, but she rarely felt a touch
and the distance always broke her, the connection turned to rust
so now she's somewhere out there, and there's no one that i trust

with her

this is the story of a boy who's now grown up
he spends his time alone, he minds his business, makes some bucks
he knows he has to stay here even when he feels it tug
there's nothing on the other side, it's all the same but just more fucked

The Story

the story

i think i hate everything that i ever loved
now that the fire snuffed
baby im packing up boxes of things that you gave me
and things that im running from

but "baby" ain't "baby" no more
cause im out on my own and im feeling numb
turn it up loud on my speakers
and lay on the floor 'til i feel the drums

i cannot drink, i cannot smoke
the blood from ym vomit keep burning my throat
im tryna get by but my heart beating slow
and if i ever left i know no one would know

sometimes i find myself grabbing my phone
every time that i be way too alone
but then i just drop it cause im at the bottom already
no point now in making it known

its all gonna be okay real soon
real soon

i feel abandoned, cause im a burden
maybe im fucked up, i know that for certain
got a life sentence now this is the verdict
death penalty, to the void im returning
im hoping to God that i dont end up burning
im doing my best but im just really hurting
i just need a break for a sec now im cursing
i scream at myself with these insults im hurling

im losing myself, im losing my brains
im losing the lifeforce that course through my veins
feel like my body is wrapped up in chains
tape on my mouth so they think im okay

dont even know who i am in this verse
i feel too much, now im blessed with a curse
its just like a nightmare but way fucking worse
and the only way out is the back of a hearse

sinking

everything changed when you left

i try to float cause i cant breathe air
Make Believe its okay, while i sink, not fair
though broken, my heart then, yet love did bear
dont remember how light feels, cause its not there

two thirty-seven on the clock when it stops
i swear if i had a heart still inside it would drop
the best i feel is nothing, think its fine but its not
cause soon i need to feel, but by then we'll be gone

wish there was something i could pin my pain on
its all myself any time that my brains on
i shut it off with this [redacted] til im way gone
i feel so lost nothing to place the blame on

feels like a prison when no one would listen
the past in my heart now, with clouds in my vision
theres fog in my head so i think im forgetting
detach myself its an art im perfecting

Spotify

i cant believe im back here again
by myself i never got no friends
isolate, i cant keep up with trends
im busy fighting demons in my head

its been a long road down, im at the end
finally broke i found i cannot bend
i just want to finally make amends
right now with this letter that i send

im so sorry, anything that ive done
if life is a game then i lost and it won
at the end of the day we all have setting suns
i know it seems soon, im not running, im done

if there was only one thing i could say to you
i thank you for the smiles, really got me through
cant look up in the sky cause i see the moon
but theres solace in the knowledge that ill be there soon

i float up, straight up to the moonlight

"up in heaven always seemed so boring"
tell myself while im in purgatory
thought my soul would float up til im soaring
instead im just rotting, no restoring

finally sleep, cause its peaceful now
not a peep, body feeble now
life went fast, but its speeding now
i had a plan, i dont need it now

back here again

why do i do this to myself?
i never learn, it's fucking hell
i don't think that i'm doing well
and if i wasn't, i couldn't tell

will i get back on my feet
will i sleep out on the street
if i don't make it the way i thought that it would be

i should just keep my distance
i say it but nobody listen
i'm a pit, it's a dark existence
i can do it myself, i don't need no assistance

oh yeah, he's big talk and big dreams
oh yeah, he's new things and big schemes
all i'll leave is probably a legacy
for a second until they forget me

will i get back on my feet
will i sleep out on the street
if i don't make it the way i thought that it would be

Why Do I Do This To Myself

WHY D0 ! D0 TH!$ T0 MY$3LF

i think im insane
but its okay
im falling away
away

i think of the day
that i might pass away
all these memories fade
i guess ill walk away

you know im always
i say im always good
you know im always good
im good i think

i dont want to think about thats all in my mind
its always tryna kill me, its like all of the time
and momma if you hear this swear i promise im fine
thats just how it goes i swear im used to my mind

what is it huh?
what is this
fuck is this huh?

I Said I'm Good

i said im good prod. CRCL

fuck all my demons
every corner that i take, all around like its legion
tryna run from my demons
they are many, but theyre one, i got scars and some lesions

they hit me up every night like lets have some fun
you could smoke, you could drink, like lets have some rum
you could stay by yourself, you can play with your gun
wish i never listened, calling nine one one

dont know where i am and now im losing my head
woke up in the gutter man i thought i was dead
thought that this was over, but it happened again
now its just a monster that still lives in my head

manic.
hindsight will never save me
but my body will die, and all but maybe

ill be free from that night
and fly away, my chains will break down
i know its wishful thinking, but

i get too low to ever come up
if you do hit my phone, im probably running from it

fuck all my demons
every corner that i take, all around like its legion
tryna run from my demons
they are many, but theyre one, i got scars and some lesions

NINE ONE ONE

NINEONEONE

what the fuck is wrong with me
i woke up soaked in kerosene
im dizzy off [redacted]
but i dont want to start a scene

excuse me can i use your phone?
i really hate to be alone
i need some help but i dont know
thanks for your time ive got to go

nevermind ill figure it out myself
i can never trust no one if you couldnt tell
im fine all on my own i dont need no fucking help
you know that even if i did ill never say how i felt

what should i do, try to breath but i cant
the more fucked up i get i wish i never had began
i thought i had the cure, but its all bad luck
oh well
lets get fucked up

i dont really care, but i lie, cause i did
guess im not okay, with the skin, that i slit
its one vice or another, no one telling me to quit
burn myself into the ground, i dont feel it, not a bit

i just want to see whats at the end, im in a hurry
im all by myself so i guess im not really worried
life dont seem as harsh now if my vision always blurry
i just want this all to end i know its way too early

you can have a drink of my sprite, just know its dirty

what should i do, try to breath but i cant
the more fucked up i get i wish i never had began
i thought i had the cure, but its all bad luck
oh well
lets get fucked up

its not the same

Why am I saving myself for you?
When you're never coming back now
I don't exist, not a blip in your view
You're the only thing I lack now

I hope you don't listen, so that I stay a ghost
Was supposed to head east, but I'm sad on the coast
Cause it's too close to you, kill me inside 'til I'm toast
So I just stayed here, held it down at my post

I held it down at my post
Hold it down at my post

I might just stay, all on my own
Think I'm giving up, feel it in my bones
My dying heart, doesn't have a home
It'll be real cold, when I die alone

When I die alone
When that moment comes, nobody will know
Don't want it to go quick, I hope it happens slow
So that I feel alive, one more time, then I'll go

When I wake up in the morning I don't want to stay

It's getting hard to function when it's screaming in my face

I held it down at my post
Hold it down at my post

I might just stay, all on my own
Think I'm giving up, feel it in my bones
My dying heart, doesn't have a home
It'll be real cold, when I die alone

When I die alone

When I die alone

i said im good prod. CRCL

HKFIFTYONE

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