Featuring @sendflowrs
Produced by @hellahaunted & @sainttomorrow
Mixed & mastered by @horoshamusic
Logo by Dead & Detached

i been smoking too much like every day

who would'a thought that these drugs don't really numb all the pain

my eyes stay shut but i still see your face
i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled


and ive been smoking too much like every day
since fifteen think it's rotting my brain

i got my windows closed but i still hear the rain

i don't like myself anymore

think i've changed

and while you sit there drunk on the side of the pave

do you ever think about those times in the cage

with your friends in the sun oh those times they have changed

now i'm sitting on my own thinking of life on a stage


thinkin of life on a stage

these days i'm alone 

take 3 blunts to the face

spend my days blazed just thinking of life in the states

shoutout jj
i'm tryna record everyday


i think i'm going straight to hell for those two years

if you didnt know im sad you must be new here

cliche dyed hair
i'm a loser

forever screaming on my own at a computer


i'm a loser and I know it
got it tatted on my sleeve just to show how much i own it
stay glued to my computer
writing sad songs and playing first-person shooters


watch me self-destruct

catch me yelling "nerf this"
while i'm rolling up another blunt


i used to do this for fun

now i do this on account of all of my bad luck

i been smoking too much like every day

who would'a thought that these drugs don't really numb all the pain

my eyes stay shut but i still see your face
i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled


i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled

i don't even know what i'm fighting for



Listen on Spotify!

Loser w/ sendflowrs (Prod. caves & Saint Tomorrow)

extra stems came from an interpolated sorrow bringer beat! go give him a follow :) @sorrow_bringer

Sonder

stockholm (prod. sorrow bringer)

w/ @sleepywater <3
prod @afterlife66 🖤

~~lyrics~~

easy to target
swear i’ve been honest
i’m still tryna rejuvenate
from the memories last august
ink drip from the ceiling
familiar feelings
to take time is to realize
what it really means to be healing

knees go numb when i reach for the shelf
there’s an old song that speaks of myself
but i’ve lost it; my subconscious 
won’t take away this blockage
it’s irritating; the way i hate it
all you are is full of nonsense

how you gonna say ur not into me
everytime you’re my enemy
i feel out of body
everytime im getting the…
drugs from my doctor
off a sedative, i forgot her
i feel like i deserve my happy ever after
i don't like it here, i like raptures
enrapture me for a disaster
i got wounds on me so where’s my plaster
in a room with me, i feel like casper
she don't touch me; i shatter
she dont trust me, i’m in tatters
i’m forever climbing up this
unforgiving ladder

i’m unfair & i know it
frustration; i bestow it
i’m shaking baby, yeah i’m aching,
maybe this is punishment for the broken
the sight that i see through my eye 
isn’t blind
a sigh of relief comforted by a lie
i can’t really take it, 
the pace that i’m making is 
turning me into the me i despise

fuck, i'll turn my back on ur ass & won't
 give it a thought or the time of the day
it doesn't matter, the wounds & the plaster are begging me
“autumn, you just gotta change”
if i go any faster, my body will splatter
 yet i'll be alive, put me outta the pain 
i pick up the fragments of me that just happen
to still be in tact, even after the rain

everything i spew out
i tell the same story
bout how you don't want me
never ever want me
how comes ur all up on me
i pull u, you don’t pull me
im stressed out, can't relax
another pill, i might relapse

i just don’t get it how this life
taught revenge and left me behind
no time to cry…
cause in the end you’ll be fine

how you gonna say ur not into me
everytime you’re my enemy
i feel out of body
everytime im getting the…
drugs from my doctor
off a sedative, i forgot her
i feel like i deserve my happy ever after
i don't like it here, i like raptures
enrapture me for a disaster
i got wounds on me so where’s my plaster
in a room with me, i feel like casper
she don't touch me; i shatter
she dont trust me, i’m in tatters
i’m forever climbing up this
unforgiving ladder

wounds & plaster w/ sleepwater [prod. afterlife]

shoutout to everyone in this song ily all :) <3
prod. sorrow bringer (goat)
mix: epitome, kanashi, autumn, casperrr
master: epitome

EPITOME:

if you look into my blackened soul 
you’ll see i’ve begun to decompose 
and with nothing but a rope around my neck
i’ll hang in the gallows dead
hold back the tears you’ll shed
leave all the words unsaid
i was hanging on by a thread
it’s better off instead 
that i’m 6 feet deep beneath the surface
i’ve said this once i know i’m worthless
i fall short of being perfect 
can you show me that i’m worth it
am i worth saving?
my body’s decaying
my flesh is rotting 
i feel like a zombie
i think the ends approaching
i feel it upon me
now i know i’m not worth saving 
i’m trying but it doesn’t seem to be enough
no one gives a fuck
i don’t even know what i’ve become
(can you tell me what i’ve become i give in too easy oh the end has just begun)

KANASHI:

Ion even know what I’ve become 
shits got me so fucked up…
And pls don’t wake me 
I’m busy taking a break from life
Ion wanna be a part of this anymore 
One foot in and the other out the door 
Cuz nothing lasts forever 
So just toss me like a wrapper on the floor…

AUTUMN:

i can't tell tonight apart from all them in the past
i can speak, i can breathe, but my brain is gonna gache
if you feed off of me, hope you like consuming trash
waking up inside this bed 
is something i'd rather not have
i'm tearing at my skin
could it get much worse than this
that's the only thing i'd ask
besides when you'll text me back

CASPERRR:

don't you text me back 
please i don't wanna relapse
feel this agonizing pressure on my chest
i can't breathe,i can't eat i can't get no rest  

fucked up, over what u told me
u left and now i'm lonely 
got 5gs and smoked that whole shit, holy-moly
u really said i was ur only
that guy was just a homie 
and now im dyin slowly, lonely

epitomeoffailure x kanashi x autumndropsdead x casperrr - blackened soul (sorrow bringer)

Stay Away

I'm Not Myself

Sourface

Ion think there ain't no saving me, I'm too cold (beep beep beep) in my chest (flatline sound)
Said that shit been frozen over (ice freeze sound), I ain't trippin no ragrets ("like not even a single letter?")
'Cause I probably seen too much (woman screaming, slash sound), but now I'm numb to all the rest (bg gunshots 3 rounds)
And I got no feelings left now when I'm focused on the check (money counter sound)

Got too many old times ("UP" piano melody) in my mind don't wanna face it (sample of my old therapist saying "trauma" lol)
Roll another 2 g, add a blinker (pen crackle sound) so I'm spacin (floaty spacy descending ring modulation sound)
Swear I think I'm floatin but I know that I'm just faking ("YOU'RE stoned")
At least it keep me focused (old Canon camera focus beep) on this paper (cash register ding) that I'm chasing

All this paper that I'm chasing

This paper that I'm chasin yaa

(long instrumental outro that's supposed to make u feel hopeful but somehow it's slightly tinged with darkness that feels weird, but you can still feel a lil light in it. It feels like cognitive dissonance.)

Seen Too Much (Manic)

Oak Cathedral is a dark, mystical rock anthem forged in thunder and roots. Guitars roar like weathered branches, drums pound like tribal thunder, and the vocals cut through with raw power and reverence. It’s an ode to the living temple of nature and the primal rhythm that runs through us all, earthy, electric, and alive. The sound fuses hard-driving riffs, harmonized leads, and cinematic atmosphere into a modern radio-ready storm.

Oak Cathedral

@guccihighwaters
thank you to everyone that's been supporting this page so far
you guys are the best forreal <3

[softheart]
break me tell me i'm nothing please 
send me on my way please 
barely i'm not there [x2]
yeah
take me and all you did was break me i've been telling lies
since i been alive
don't bury me with anything cant take it when i die
im just watching time
take me with the tides
on the other side
i just want you to tell me i'm alright
i just want you to tell me i'm all
i just want you to tell me i'm alright
and it don't matter if you're lying at all
im lost in the waves lied tossed it away i know
baby i know
and well have enough never
well be wanting for forever
on the other side
theres always something better

[guccihighwaters]
break me like i’m nothing to you 
is it a question like how’d i even lose you
you never ask me if i’m okay 
love is not a one way it’s got two lanes 
and i crash and I burn the damage 
and i crash and I burn the damage 
it’s my own fault yeah i watched it happen

see you on the other side (feat. guccihighwaters)

i hope you feel something
self-produced. hmu for beats/mixing/mastering

I'm Not Myself

HKFIFTYONE