thank you so much I'm a big fan of your work keep it up I'm here till the end 🖤🖤💯

feel like my body is wrapped up in chains

so much pain in my heart
idk where to start 
i keep rollin up blunts
and smokin em all in the dark 
closed in the stu makin art 
about everything thatS a part
of my life and marked me 
to the point where i can't even talk

to anybody i know
bout anything that i go
thru everyday is a struggle
wakin up  wishin i don't
shit got me feeling so low 
going thru this all alone
i got nobody to relate to 
but a pillbox n a bong

everyday is the same/ but just a little bit different
today i was the guilty one again, cuz i didn't listen
yesterday it was still my fault, but surely 4 anotha reason
i think/ shit never changes, despite us changing the szn
i suddenly went cold, like we're in a blizzard
sick of bastards who fold, n runaway like they lizzards
acting like u r dr connors, imma beat u like peter
ain't no way u betraying me, im sick of being beaten

not my choice to be born
not my decision
if it really was up to me
i'd be in a grave not breathing
all the bones that u broke 
r the reason 
why ur so bad for me 
but keep me from kneeling

so much pain in my heart
idk where to start 
i keep rollin up blunts
and smokin em all in the dark 
closed in the stu makin art 
about everything thatS a part
of my life and marked me 
to the point where i can't even talk

to anybody i know
bout anything that i go
thru everyday is a struggle
wakin up  wishin i don't
shit got me feeling so low 
going thru this all alone
i got nobody to relate to 
but a pillbox n a bong

sm pain in mh (tiedforsilver)

people keep telling me i'm a guardin clone, so here's this in spite to start off 2024 :)

Lyrics:

like where did all my friends go?
where'd the passion all go
writing private in my bed hoe
rip a verse out of my chest woah
i ain't feelin the best so
i subdue all the stress
left behind and i can't cope
make a new scene all on my own
all on my own

like where did all my friends go?
where'd the passion all go
writing private in my bed hoe
rip a verse out of my chest woah
i ain't feelin the best so
i subdue all the stress
left behind and i can't cope
make a new scene all on my own
all on my own

she could read minds in the first place
she could read minds in the worst way
that means she should know that i can't stay :(
that means she should know this ain't my day
spent my whole life chasing first place
somehow i'm 5th wheeling on my birthday
taco bell 3am on a thursday
wish i could share it with you come to my place
ay
double stack chicken wrap yuh
ay
babygirl where you at love :(
crush up 9 grams gurl i'm terrified
still i'm feeling alright this deep in your eyes 

like where did all my friends go
where'd the passion all go
writing private in my bed hoe
rip a verse out of my chest woah
i ain't feelin the best so
i subdue all the stress
left behind and i can't cope- 

YUH

like where did all my friends go
where'd the passion all go
writing private in my bed hoe
rip a verse out of my chest woah
i ain't feelin the best so
i subdue all the stress
left behind and i can't cope
make a new scene all on my own
all on my own

solitary (dash)

im sorry that its been a while
the time had made a heart to mend
find me in another life
i swear id try as hard again

a catalyst in heavy dark
your voice and how the bleeding stops
breath in a cold room to comfort
the surface im under for two years in sunder

fade out, start to forget me
soften the dead leaves of somebody else
brave now, but i know its early
and you couldn't hurt me but try to again

i know its been a long time

silence feels like dying
i dont mind it
i cant find you in colours i had learned to know
olive skin in amber tones, cedarwood in maple grove
eyes low the night before i drove you home
said one day we could have our own
so why am i still here alone?

did you know then it was broken?
thought you cried in the car cause it still felt so far
but instead its just not what you want

fade out, start to forget me
soften the dead leaves of somebody else
brave now, but i know its early
and you couldn't hurt me but try to again

all that it brings
cold in the spring
whats the point of waking up
if not for you again?
i dont know me now
i dont know me now

Mount Hood

Lyrics:
Sometimes I wonder if you listen to the songs I do
I know that music's in your blood, it's always in mine too
Since we don't talk this is my way of reaching out to you
And now the sunset makes me think your name in every hue

Sometimes I wonder if you're staring out your window at the moon
You're probably not, but you're outside, you're on the chair, you're looking too
Are you looking too?
Are you looking too?

spookybands:
Are you looking at the moon right now?
I can see it in your eyes, I don't think you ever really loved me
Did you buy yourself a beer last night?
And then some whiskey right after, anyway that's how I'm passing the time

And did you tell her about me? 
That new girl that you seeing
I bet she thought my name was cool

Does she text you while you on your way over
Telling you to look up at the moon
That's what I used to do.

These memories just turn to pain
And then get mixed up in my brain
I won't ever be okay
The bar is open every day

Hold me while I drift away
You don't have to miss me baby
I just tell myself you are
To feel better (that's fucking crazy)

Sometimes I wonder if you're staring out your window at the moon
You're probably not, but you're outside, you're on the chair, you're looking too
Are you looking too?
Are you looking too?

Look At The Moon

look at the moon (ft. spookybands)

curses & other horrible things

prod. poppy ozu x daniel saint

Lyrics:

i think she'll be the death of me
if i survive think that i'd rather be
it's been like 30 minutes with no text
so i can't get to sleep
she's probably up in someone's ear with all her dirty secrets maybe sexually
if she's not in my bed i think she slept with him respectfully
you can call me crazy i'll accept at least minisculely
the ghost of who i knew i think just wants a fuckin end to me
an end to me
an end to me

i'm unhinged 
i'm irrational at best
i'm less convinced now by the second i should get this off my chest
fuck it
i despise your hedonism and that old group i called my friends
at least i'm not a liar, of all my flaws just give me that

she jumps from guy to girl to guy in hopes that someone can heal her
if you couldn't respect me
then how could i either
was i meant for a stage
am i meant for a theatre
caught me throwing up again
with a wonderful fever

i'm a people person eater with a face that doesn't shape
i just tear myself apart then fix myself with gum and tape
i use so many "i's" and "me's" its like the rest of them are fake
you think i'm talking to you, probably am so hear me for your sake

i think she'll be the death of me
if i survive think that i'd rather be
it's been like 30 minutes with no text
so i can't get to sleep
she's probably up in someone's ear with all her dirty secrets maybe sexually
if she's not in my bed i think she slept with him respectfully
you can call me crazy i'll accept at least minisculely
the ghost of who i knew i think just wants a fuckin end to me
an end to me
an end to me

hedonism

https://soundcloud.com/hkfiftyone2
https://soundcloud.com/angelsofsorrows

I only feel like myself when I'm high
I'm still coming up, want a piece of the pie
Man every time I roll up, got so much on my mind
And every day I feel dead now, but I'm still alive

I only feel like myself when I'm high
I could see myself, penthouse in the sky
Then it's done, here again, I can't eat, don't know why
Get that cash, stay the grind, take a hit, i'll be fine

One day feel like me then the other different person
My mind never set straight yeah it's written all in cursive
But it's got a story ending on a cliffhanger
It's JoshIGuess I'm always dropping the bangers

Importance for years yet still got to decide
If any of choices are bad sacrifice
And everyone leave me so got no advice
But I'd rather figure out my own reside

Only feel like myself when I'm up to the mic
But the camera's too close to me like it gon snipe
Some of you guys just rely on a swipe
But that's not how I want to use my device

I only feel like myself when I'm high
I'm still coming up, want a piece of the pie
Man every time I roll up, got so much on my mind
And every day I feel dead now, but I'm still alive

I only feel like myself when I'm high
I could see myself, penthouse in the sky
Then it's done, here again, I can't eat, don't know why
Get that cash, stay the grind, take a hit, i'll be fine

I'll be fine, I'll be fine
I'll be fine, I'll be fine (yeah i'll be fine)
Yeah I'ma get by I'ma live my life to the fullest
I'ma not be stupid I'ma live
I'ma keep on going and I ain't give a shit
And I found my inner self, yeah
But it comes with sacrifices
Now I know why people tend to stay the same, yeah

I only feel like myself when I'm high
I'm still coming up, want a piece of the pie
Man every time I roll up, got so much on my mind
And every day I feel dead now, but I'm still alive

I only feel like myself when I'm high
I could see myself, penthouse in the sky
Then it's done, here again, I can't eat, don't know why
Get that cash, stay the grind, take a hit, I'll be fine

I'll be fine
Yeah I'll be fine, I'll be fine, let's go (yeah i'll be fine)

spotify

i'll be fine w/ hkfiftyone & angelsofsorrows (quitall)

thorns freestyle (p. farber)

i think i hate everything that i ever loved
now that the fire snuffed
baby im packing up boxes of things that you gave me
and things that im running from

but "baby" ain't "baby" no more
cause im out on my own and im feeling numb
turn it up loud on my speakers
and lay on the floor 'til i feel the drums

i cannot drink, i cannot smoke
the blood from ym vomit keep burning my throat
im tryna get by but my heart beating slow
and if i ever left i know no one would know

sometimes i find myself grabbing my phone
every time that i be way too alone
but then i just drop it cause im at the bottom already
no point now in making it known

its all gonna be okay real soon
real soon

i feel abandoned, cause im a burden
maybe im fucked up, i know that for certain
got a life sentence now this is the verdict
death penalty, to the void im returning
im hoping to God that i dont end up burning
im doing my best but im just really hurting
i just need a break for a sec now im cursing
i scream at myself with these insults im hurling

im losing myself, im losing my brains
im losing the lifeforce that course through my veins
feel like my body is wrapped up in chains
tape on my mouth so they think im okay

dont even know who i am in this verse
i feel too much, now im blessed with a curse
its just like a nightmare but way fucking worse
and the only way out is the back of a hearse

sinking

i dont want you to see my face
i dont want to feel this pain
i just want to go away
want to leave, im forced to stay
honestly my soul is aching
theres no hell, you'd be mistaken
you dont see the bones im breaking
im so tired i cannot take it

stepping through the stones in the valley of death
did all i could do, i gave it all of my breath
breaking all the promises that i ever kept
falling to the floor, and then the heavens, they wept

letter

letter (prod steezy prime x blocktane x nate2timez)

cover//flip of this is home
vocals/guitar from tli + myself
everything else by me

little something to ease back into releasing.
ep dropping the 24th of this month.
take care
thank you for being here.

original song credits towards @cavetown


i just wanna go
he'll be all alone
i would wanna talk about the things you barely don't
he'll be on her own
tell me "i can feel it"
i don't wanna talk about this shit
it's unappealing; unpeeling it
i can now hardly break in
i just know everything is
not at a lost; what it seems
help me out, i wanna breathe

sinking

HKFIFTYONE

Recent comments

brecken

brontosaurus \ü/

sunny-shadows

Waveyysavage

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