thoughtform collective - February 2021

19 and feeling blue, and i don't know whats gotten into you
so sick of all the bullshit and lies
so sick of all the fake love
so cry
i won't be there for you, even if you want me to
can't face the complications
i don't want negotiation
so

don't hold my hand when it gets rough
you know i'll just call your bluff
i know you'll just call it love
when hurt is all that is does

so hard to forget about you
why won't our plans go through
i know you wanted me
i know i wanted you

so hard to forget about you
why won't our plans go through
i know you wanted me
i know i wanted you

i'll light up a cigarette for us
is that your idea of love?
i just wish you'd pull me closer
cos' i'm only getting older
and it hurts to say you're fake
but i can't say it any other way
hope my memories fade
don't wanna see you today

don't hold my hand when it gets rough
you know i'll just call your bluff
i know you'll just call it love
when hurt is all that is does

bluff

i just gotta stand out

produced by @johnkwondll

i cant fall asleep
lying cold on the floor i feel it all on me
i dont know any more about you than me
black screen on my phone i dont know what i see

i keep drawing on my face so i wont hate it
even when im telling the truth ill have to fake it
blacked out spend my night on the pavement 
staring at my face inside the mirror till i break it

no more staying in my mind you gotta move out
i couldnt think with you living upstairs yeah it was too loud
you really couldnt admit what you had done yeah it was all on me
i found way too many fake friends in my life i watched them all leave

every place that i go i just gotta stand out
theyre always staring at me
i guess im really in demand now
we were all in a room you spilled the truth then i ran out
now its all cause of you that we're through
im yelling man down

dont try to tell me youre a fan now
dont try to say you earned my love you want a handout
it never goes like how you planned out no shit
couldnt show you who i really was you never noticed

i tripped and fell on my wrist and now its broken 
cant ever tell when im sick i know its hopeless
your vision always held me back i didnt know it did
i really cut myself in half now we cant both live

no more staying in my mind you gotta move out
i couldnt think with you living upstairs yeah it was too loud
you really couldnt admit what you had done yeah it was all on me
i found way too many fake friends in my life i watched them all leave

every place that i go i just gotta stand out
theyre always staring at me
i guess im really in demand now
we were all in a room you spilled the truth then i ran out
now its all cause of you that we're through
im yelling man down

man down (p. typhoon)

2 slowed songs i wrote 
tht were nevr finishd, enjoy

‣

There was a time,
That u would hold me darling
Wasting time
But is it wasting time?
If I enjoy'd evry moment

*Static*

Aching, breaking
Falling, slowly
Where did I go wrong?
Serotonin, chews me
Slowly, I'm gutt'd up
Nd I'm breakn down

Y would u leave? (I'm so lonely)
Y would u leave? (I wish u could hold me)

timechange x breakdownofserotonin

Production: Myoso, QuiKksand
Coverart: Thompson

head in two (myoso, quikksand)

𝒟𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓂𝓈𝒾 ｘ𝙋𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙗𝙤𝙞 
Prod. Forget about me
Mix / master: Dreamsi / Pinkboi 

Lyrics:

𝒟𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓂𝓈𝒾

I’m dreaming of you, can you make my dreams come true?
Every fairytale has an ending, but I wanna rip it out and burn it, babe
Don’t let this be the last page, I’m clinging to the heart ache
(Let me be with you forever) 
Let this be the weather, sunshine on your face 
That’s my kiss on your cheek
You’re smiling at me 
I feel it too
Can you let this be true?
You’re the world 

Even if the stars go out and the lights fall down, we’ll make it out 
Let the heat burn through me, cos I don’t wanna let you go 
Running through the waterfall, we do the impossible
Always be invincible, our love as a crown 

You can make every day shine the way it used to
When I was just a little kid
Running around in the sun all day, like 
Myspace
My Fender guitar
Bring me back into your arms 
Yeah, I miss that, babe 

𝙋𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙗𝙤𝙞

None of these guys deserved you 
I just wanna show you that you are everything to me 
And I promise that I can give you the world, if you give me the time baby 
Imma make you mine
I’d do anything for you, just to see you smile 
Dreamsi, I love you
I just love the way you smile
I just love the way you think all the time

𝙋𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙗𝙤𝙞 + 𝒟𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓂𝓈𝒾

I’m dreaming of you
(Yeah, I’m dreaming of you)
Can you make my dreams come true?
Can you make my dreams come true? 


© Dreamsi + Pinkboi + Forgetaboutme, 2024.

Dreaming of You feat. Pinkboi (Prod. Forgetaboutme)

Produced by ily2 & Chris Marek
Featuring @aqua-kairi-561790693
Mixed & mastered by me
Lyrics by me + Aqua

(I’ve got nothing to lose)
Tell me what you want from me
(Tell me what you want)
'Cause I’d give you the world 
Oh, I would never want any other girl
On any other world
Just tell me what you need and I’ll sacrifice 
'Cause you’re the only girl that I want in my life
And girl without a doubt, you’re always in my mind
And give it time, you’re better in my life
Oh, I’d take a bullet for you
Would you ever take a bullet for me?
I don’t know, but I’ll never let you go
(I’ll never let you go)

You’re in my trust, you’re the only girl I’ll ever love
I don’t ever think I’ll be alright without you inside my life
(Without you inside my life)
We just discussed on why it’s better just to be in love
'Cause I just wanna be the only guy that you cry to every night 
(That you cry to every night)

Caught up in your vibe like it's a melody
With you it feels like a movie, can't you see?
You're my favorite
Character, the one I choose
In this story, you're the one I never want to lose

You’re in my trust, you’re the only girl I’ll ever love
I don’t ever think I’ll be alright without you inside my life
(Without you inside my life)
We just discussed on why it’s better just to be in love
'Cause I just wanna be the only guy that you cry to every night 
(That you cry to every night)

(I’d cry for you, I’ll die for you)
(I’ll lie for you my dear)
(Oh, I’d cry for you, I’ll lie for you)
(I’d die for you my dear)
I can’t describe all of my thoughts 
You’re someone that I wanna love
Even if you’re dead, I’ll give you all and more
You’ll find me in the morgue

You’re in my trust, you’re the only girl I’ll ever love
I don’t ever think I’ll be alright without you inside my life
(Oh, without you inside my life)
We just discussed on why it’s better just to be in love
'Cause I just wanna be the only guy that you cry to every night 
That you cry to every night
(What?)

facade

i've been a manifester

i've been a manifester (w/ Aqua) [p. ily2 + chris marek]

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/tonch1/blend

Lyrics:

Do I stop and regret?
Need to stop fucking around, if I
Wasn't so nice would you still keep me around?
Funny its hard just to be
So busy got no time to think
Take care of myself for a week
Then it's back to the edge
Been some time since I been on the brink
Tell myself that I'll change every week

Don't think that I could treat you the same (I can't do this anymore)
You fucked around because you were bored,
I wanted a

House with decor
Would even sleep on the floor
How you know this shits fucked cause I go back for more and I can't
Do this shit anymore
Had some old habits I forgot about
Picked them back up cause you weren't around
We can't ever do this again
It's fucked to pretend
That we could be anything else
Had some more people I forgot about
That love to talk shit when you're not around
I'm never gonna do this again
It's fucked to pretend
That you can put up with yourself

I don't know how to say it
Easier just to fake it
You coulda said it's over right?
Coulda said we're done this time
Cyclical in nature
Not a bug it's just a feature
If I had all that I wanted
Would the grass really be greener
Nah, I don't think so, I'm fucking stuck
You deal with more bullshit even when you're out the mud
And I know you had it rough sometimes back when you're growing up
and so ya accumulate your feelings till we falling out of love
yeah, its fucked yeah
Had me a mess
Forget that we're growing old
I feel like lying in bed with you has really taken its toll
Cause I wanted a

House with decor
Would even sleep on the floor
How you know this shits fucked cause I go back for more and I can't
Do this shit anymore
Had some old habits I forgot about
Picked them back up cause you weren't around
We can't ever do this again
It's fucked to pretend
That we could be anything else
Had some more people I forgot about
That love to talk shit when you're not around
I'm never gonna do this again
It's fucked to pretend
That you can put up with yourself


https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/tonch1/blend

house with decor

I said again, I don’t wanna be a victim no more
You take your time, to make me weaker 
You see me bleed on the floor
It’s a miracle how I keep getting up for the same old shit
Think it’s time I dip 
Into the water again 
Water again
was there a subliminal message from all those voice notes you sent
Cus I can’t decipher guess this isn’t my sixth sense and I been
So lost for so long,
I’m bugged out 
And I 
Need a reason cause I’m flat out 
On my face again 

Crying in the corner cause you can’t overthink 
Doubt it cause your older falling further away 
Stomped on like a roach while your crawling away 
Forget that I exist I know I can’t escape 
Why I know I can’t change 
I’m just so tired tryna run away
I’m just falling deeper down I know I’m just afraid 

I’m just tired sitting in the corner again
I’m so tied up I can’t call none of my friends
I just wanna fade away till I don’t exist 
So I can’t complain 
I’ve been falling again 
Everyone they turning me down 
Like the grit and the gain 
Now they Spit in my face 
I’m left unfazed 
Pacing around 
Stuck inside a spiral or maze 

falling into the same trap
A thousand times
Tried to find my way out, 
But the guidance always lies
no need to go boast
Had me crawling like a roach
Think it’s time we made a toast
I’m forever as a ghost now

Crying in the corner cause you can’t overthink 
Doubt it cause your older falling further away 
Stomped on like a roach while your crawling away 
Forget that I exist I know I can’t escape 
Why I know I can’t change 
I’m just so tired tryna run away
I’m just falling deeper down I know I’m just afraid

Roach (feat. Vails Prod by. The Sound Clown and lvposeidon)

holly

track 04
prod https://www.youtube.com/@prod.saintmike
https://open.spotify.com/track/1Eqt2fgQ2NkOP99nejmXzC?si=0f623eee2e994078

lyrics:
[Verse]
Hearts on cold, I stay froze 
But you'll never know, from the ashes I rose 
Burnt all my clothes, know that hurts 
You don't care, this not fair
You had me at the first glance
Don't talk to me like you care

[Chorus]
Heart dance in the rain for you 
Stop before I crash for you 
Blood stains the walls for you 
Another casualty, I'm through 
Knew that you were lying too
Can't go back so guess we're through 
Your words they hurt I wish you knew 
My tears they fall, it can't be true

[Outro]
Heart dance in the rain for you 
Stop before I crash for you 
Blood stains the walls for you 
Another casualty, I'm through 

heart dance in the rain (interlude)

I made this song for my daughter <3 to show her how much i love her
Prod. IOF

(Lyrics)
You are the best gift for me
The best thing I could ever ask for
You give my life a new meaning 
How could I ever want more 
I wanna be the one you run up to
I wanna be the one you look up to
I wanna do everything for you
I wanna be everything for you

Cause You saved me from myself 
It couldn’t be anybody else 
You saved me from myself
It couldn’t be anybody else 
One look at your face I knew that
I was never, never gonna go back
I’m gonna be who you need me to be
A father that loves you for eternity 

Never make you doubt your self worth
I’ll try protect from the worlds hurt 
I’ll do everything that I can 
I’ll do everything to be a man 
Cause you opened up my eyes
And now Ive realized
That’s there’s so much more to love
You’re everything I could ever want 
Cause you opened up my eyes 
And now I’ve realized
That theres a reason for my life 
And you’re the reason why

Mixed by Yago Beats

Saved me from myself (prod. IOF)

First single off the EP, "Liminality: Volume II" out February 26th

"I'm trying to let them know, that in this whole world, there's at least one person who cares about them"

reminiscers in a parking lot / unconditional love

Oblivion is the first single off of my upcoming project Obake Pt 1
It is the first piece of many in this album, I hope you enjoy

LYRICS: (SOUNDCLOUD HAS A STUPID CHARACTER LIMIT SO I HAD TO LEAVE THE CHORUS OUT)
down in the sewer with rats
get the attention they wanted attack
what in their eyes doesnt equal a match
lower life forms taking hits on the mat
that’s how they seem em
not worthy breathing
genuine people are busting they ass
to be thrown under the bus or swept under the rug by the predators looking for cash
libido is driving the raps
the water is shallow they still gonna crash
the bigger they are is the harder they fall so lurking in shadows is where ill be at
so what’s the deal with that
and i don’t know what a follow mean
when it’s looked at as a profit margin and not a human being

tell me what youre running from behind that big façade
a masquerade of liars think that they’ve already won
but the universe is changing constant motion leaves no one
immortal from the passage of time get up start to run

all i wanna see is the motion of a dream
predicting the trajectory of shots to make a scene
all good attention what you mean? think that but honestly
id rather be no one than have a public perception that isn’t me
leave me alone when i want you to
perceive a ghost when i talk to you
an automatic response when i shut down but that’s all i do
okay to feel uncomfortable no progress made when you’re complacent
maybe it’s time to face it maybe you’re not ready to race yet
and i never wanted to be seen as an enemy people don’t know me don’t give me a chance are they phony
for not liking me but they’re excitedly jumping onto the train that is igniting me
making a wave with my homies collectively
showing u up not even trying it’s flawlessly
work with autonomy battling herds of the sheep with no shepherd and honestly
it’s weighing down when emotion is audible
hard to decipher im saying applaud a full effort i think it’s commendable to work even if youre feeling expendable
guess imma send a full message to those who will hear this
kind of a passage of bastardized music
that’s feeding off of a self induced tension
got many problems i haven’t yet mentioned
but you never could top me and honestly probably won’t even grasp me conceptually
even right next to me you’ll be impressed by me
look at me close hold the talent internally
and im not saying im perfect im flawed from my head to my toes and that’s not even all
that’s is wrong but when i hop on a song
don’t doubt for a second i won’t fucking kill it
there’s rainy weather forever the garden will leave me forlorn im just getting started
ill peak from the curtain 33 times if i can get one glimpse of the sunshine
im not done yet
ill do this as long as i need to
till im tied to a tourniquet everyone takin bets this is a goal that i’ll see through
i came up with a vision intentions intelligible
wrote all my words and im making em legible
don’t think that im pitiful pill bottle full of oval shaped chalky blue and white chemicals
ive been sentimental bout music a little bit
some is outdated but i don’t regret it
cause without the beginning my music would never be what it is now and im thankful i did it
two years ago i made my start
to embark on a journey how i make my art
and you could never me compare to anyone else
wanna help other people while im helping myself
im a monster lyrical posture straight up not sure if this’ll ever make a pay stub
face up never gonna look down this town home to me but if i could i would leave it right now
if it led to something bigger than this everything until now been a swing and a miss
ive had victories my centerpiece is my originality tripping it u ever think that ill miss
cause im on this my guilty conscience filthy stop this before i get nauseous
i feel sick when things don’t work out
but imma never give up that’s what all of this this is really about

oblivion [prod. chxse bank]

i wish i

"Liminality; noun anthropology; the state of transition between one stage and the next, especially between major stages in one’s life or during a rite of passage"

All songs recorded, mixed, and mastered by Horosha

The Insomnia Inn (coffee and cigarettes)

On a journey with no destination. 

Producer /  vocalist  / engineer 
@prodhorosha on twitter

For mixing, mastering, or beats contact me at prodbyhorosha@gmail.com or on Twitter!

The Insomnia Inn (coffee and cigarettes)

Horosha

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