Dark thoughts

I've got a lot of fear for the day that we'll be dead (prod. tothegood)

SINGLE OFF THE ALBUM
'BITTER BLUE'

prod: https://soundcloud.com/nothingnowheremusic

MERCH: http://lilxlotus.storenvy.com/products/18507607-lil-lotus-noose-longsleeve

And for the first time
Im feeling closer to closure
I Feel the storm blowing over,
like i can close my eyes tonight

And i can see it in your eyes
(Let go)
A whisper in the night
(Run home)
Run home, Run home

And thought i was right for too long
Now its time to face it
I can feel it inside of my bones
And its so hard to shake it
And for the first time
Im feeling closer to closure
I Feel the storm blowing over,
like i can close my eyes tonight

And i can see it in your eyes
(Let go)
A whisper in the night
(Run home)
Run home, Run home

Run Home (Prod. nothing,nowhere.)

'Bitter Blue '
coming soon...

Prod:
@93feetofsmoke

MERCH: http://lilxlotus.storenvy.com/products/18507607-lil-lotus-noose-longsleeve

And i still remember 
Your hands in my hair
And the fireplace in December
And time's forever changing
But i still feel the same for you
I just wish you felt the same way too

I don't wanna waste you time 
And i know you have a better life
But it's stuck inside my head 
And i don't wanna leave my bed

So just tell me you want me 
Tell me you need me
Tell me you'll come back
And you're never leaving

I was eighteen when you loved me
And now i know I'm twenty-something
But I'm still hoping that you'd come home
And tell me everywhere that you've gone

eighteen (prod. 93FEETOFSMOKE)

lyrics:

[foreign forest]
ill take the high road
cause thats the only road i know
im gonna find those letters i wrote to myself
and if you grow older
know that im your past 
don't bother looking over
and if you feel hurt i dont blame you
looking through the photos wishing that you were the same you

you'll get through it now
we'll get through it now
hard to hear you when the musics loud

ill take the high road
cause thats the only road i know
im gonna find those letters i wrote to myself
and if you grow older
know that im your past 
don't bother looking over
and if you feel hurt i dont blame you
looking through the photos wishing that you were the same you
you'll get through it now

[smrtdeath]
looking through the photos wishing that i was the same me
baby i know you thought you could change me
but maybe it was plain to see
we weren't made to be
you and me
so ima take the high road
cause thats the only way i'll be able to carry on
ima find those pieces of my broken heart and
take them home

and ima ride home tell your mama that im sorry for everything
x2

and ima take the high road
cause thats the only road i know
ima find those letters i wrote to myself
and when you get older 
i hope you think of me as the devil on your shoulder

time'll heal the wound but thats a lot of pain to wait through

Listen on Spotify

letters 2 myself ft. smrtdeath (prod. rogergoon)

ft: @barrenwaste
prod: @anobodyreally x @cpt_sad

where the fuck are my friends at?
dont bother hitting me up, im busy anyway
where the fuck is my girl at?
100 miles away exploring every frat

getting dubbed like its payback
for all the fucked up shit
that i cant even admit
i dont care im just anxious
we got some plans to be famous
i dont know if i can take this
money good, but the paper faceless
im so useless, didnt choose this
feeling clueless, send me cute pics
like you used to
got a new life
that im getting used to
drunk in my room
like im Free Throw
in the back row
with my hopes up
and my head down low
man im stressed out
getting aquainted with all of my thoughts
hoping ill turn out to be who im not
grabbing a knife just to cut out the coms
my heart in the fridge where i ice out my head
my brain is a mess, id be better off dead
cant fight up the courge to end my own life
but find out the futures got reasons to live
i cannot go, but i wanna bail
burried in woes, to sorrow i hail
i drink from the veil just to swallow my tongue
maybe ill join up the 27 club

where the fuck are my friends at?
dont bother hitting me up, im busy anyway
where the fuck is my girl at?
100 miles away exploring every frat
getting dubbed like its payback
for all the fucked up shit
that i cant even admit
i dont know if i can take this
all my life ive been faceless

yeah i did some things
i don’t want to say
same as for you
so it goes both ways
don’t need this high horse 
you rode on in
its been too fucking long
since you sang the same old song
to try to get my sing along
but don’t you ever try again
im sick of all this patience
that I’ve been always fading
and try to get back
but its never helping that
i can’t understand the relations
between you and i
theres nothing left
but there always something else
that I’m wondering 
why do you always come back
to try to get me in
inside my own head
to try to trick myself
to think i love you again
it always works somehow
until i realize 
its nothing that i want now
its nothing that i need
but you always try to 
convince me

Follow me <3

faceless (ft. barren) [prod. ʎpoqou x yesterday]

"All My Little Scars" 
 Nov. 2 <33333333
-------------------------------X3-----------
Prod: https://soundcloud.com/4evrgone
https://twitter.com/4evrgon3

dead to me <3 (prod. 4evr)

OFFICIAL VIDEO DIRECTED BY MOUTHSORE
youtube.com/watch?v=jpLRdxdWh3g

spotify / apple music:
bit.ly/2IDsjPh

@smrtdeath
@tddybrr

produced/mixed/mastered
@hudsonalexander

art by @bequietplease <3
++++

smrtdeath x teddybear x hudson alexander 

OFFICIAL VIDEO

smrtdeath x teddybear x hudson alexander - show and tell *VIDEO IN DESCRIPTION*

how could I have been so rude

Bread & Butterflies Continues...

Written & Performed By teddybear 
Produced By Hudson Alexander
Recorded/Mixed/Mastered By Hudson Alexander
Art By Jazzy Ross (ig: jazzyross)

@hudsonalexander
@tddybrr

Not in a car!

Lyrics

Not in a car! (Prod. Hudson Alexander)

@ihateshinigami

it never rains anymore
i've been laying on the floor
so disgusted with myself
cant fucking take this anymore

i'm the thorn in the roses
body decomposing
leave me in the past
I bet no one will even notice

hands shaky like my life
its fucking hard just to type
none of my friends are alright
just hiding tears in our eyes

trust me i wish i could stop caring
i swear to god i'm fucking trying
my heads just fucked up from the lying
honest i wish you never met me

my heads just fucked up from the lying
honest i wish you never met me

it never rains anymore
i've been laying on the floor
so disgusted with myself
cant fucking take this anymore

i'm the thorn in the roses
body decomposing
leave me in the past
I bet no one will even notice

i have this this hole in my chest
it hurts so bad i can't rest
waking up from all this stress
i'm fucking trying my best
to live a life on my own
i always stare at my phone
waiting for you to hit me back
because i always feel alone

im the thorn in the roses
body decomposing
leave me in the past
I bet no one will even notice

leave me in the past
i bet no one will even notice

shinigami x 93feetofsmoke - it never rains anymore

day 38 cant make it
counting scars like marks in the pavement
all the love in me turned to hatred
and beautiful things bring pain when
they're gone like we all will be
wish I could kill my fucking feelings
stuck in this hell scratched your name in the ceiling
starting to think that this is really how it ends
been 6 months since I've seen you
hope you're doing good yea me too
things have changed so much and I've seen a new life
it all fell into place without you by my side
then 10 years came and went so quick
your first love's gone and got 3 kids
it took so long but there's so much I've missed
I've learned life hurts but I love this

And all I ever really wanted was you in it
Maybe I'm meant to spend forever as a masochist

all I have left is in my head
a blank space with your name in it
wish you would have stayed but I understand
went too deep and drowned again
I think the pain made me love instead
pulled out the oages inside my head
felt what it means to see everything and
every being for what it is
I still miss you so much
but everythings hopeless and its not so bad
add another slash and run it back screaming

Day 38 cant make it
counting scars like marks in the pavement
all the love in me turned to hatred
and beautiful things bring pain when
they're gone like we all will be
wish I could kill my fucking feelings
stuck in this hell scratched your name in the ceiling
starting to think that this is really how it ends
been 6 months since I've seen you
hope you're doing good yea me too
things have changed so much and I've seen a new life
It all fell into place without you by my side
then 10 years came and went so quick
your first love's gone and got 3 kids
it took so long but there's so much I've missed
I've learned life hurts but I love this