this hard. mind checking my page out n showing love?

It's not the having but the wanting,
That flames the desire and the need,
Fantasy can be confronting,
When the reality can't compete,
Feel the addiction to the rush,
Lost in pursuit of my own lust,

When you have nothing, 
Need is the only thing that's real
When you have everything,
The addiction reminds you how to feel

Where does the yearning start?
The mind's eye or in my heart?
Is it the hunting that I love,
Or is it the Coup de Grace,

The wolf is clawing at the door, 
Get me crawling on all fours
Letting poison drip slowly,
Isn't the same as a cure,
Clearing the path of my own obstructions
Or choose cold comforts of self-destruction,

When you have nothing, 
Need is the only thing that's real
When you have everything,
The addiction reminds you how to feel

Where does the yearning start?
The mind's eye or in my heart?
Is it the hunting that I love,
Or is it the Coup de Grace,

The all-consuming and the consumed,
Abandon myself in your perfume,
When the moment is said and done,
I'll grieve for what we'll never become,
Crafting the objects of your desire,
Can't fill the cavity inside,

When you have nothing, 
Need is the only thing that's real
When you have everything,
The addiction reminds you how to feel

Where does the yearning start?
The mind's eye or in my heart?
Is it the hunting that I love,
Or is it the Coup de Grace,

Is it the Coup de Grace,

Pls feed the animals

Coup de Grace

High That Don’t Chase You

Caption Title

A brutal reckoning—“Stealing Time” exposes the truth behind the mask, refusing to mourn what was lost and demanding accountability.

Song Insight

Stealing Time is not a lament for what’s gone, but a razor-edged anthem for finally seeing someone as they are. There’s no sugarcoating, no nostalgia for a love destroyed by self-inflicted wounds. This song doesn’t plead for redemption—it lays it bare: if you’re ever going to be saved, you’ll have to save yourself, because I’m done carrying your damage. The rain and the rose on the casket aren’t mourning—they’re the final word, marking the end of illusions and the start of owning your own darkness.

Lyrics
[Verse 1]
Drifting through your life
Trying to find a way to say goodbye
Grifter stealing time
I’m running through your lies

[Build]
The empty space between the lines
Falling to your knees, you cry

[Chorus]
It’s not about the ones you used to hold
It’s about the ones you left behind
All those moments passed you by
Maybe this time there’s nothing to undo
Truth—a life, something to pursue

[Refrain]
God, I hope you do
Something needs saved in you

[Verse 2]
Every promise that you broke
Every secret left untold
All the pain behind your eyes
The hearts you tore
To the ones you used

[Build]
Broken souls haunt your scattered mind
Pieces taken I will never find

[Chorus]
It’s not about the ones you used to hold
It’s about the ones you left behind
All those moments passed you by
Maybe this time there’s nothing to undo
Truth—a life, something to pursue

[Refrain]
God, I hope you do
Something needs saved in you

[Bridge]
Mirrors, silver-plated death
Moments I try but can’t forget
Shadows pulling at what’s owed
Memories drowned by the ones I loved

[Bridge 2]
Sorry for the stones you throw
No matter what, you stay below
Cracked reflections on the floor
Love doesn't live here anymore

[Final Chorus]
It’s not about the ones you used to hold
It’s about the ones you left behind
All those moments passed you by
Maybe this time there’s nothing to undo
Truth—a life, something to pursue
All the pain behind your eyes
The hearts you tore apart inside
All those moments, lost in time
Drift away, erased by a life

[Refrain]
God, I hope you do
Something needs saved in you

[Outro]
Every mistake you called mine
Feel your choices down my spine
Maybe this time you’ll live the life
Maybe it’s the lies that die
Free yourself in time

[Post-Outro]
God, I hope you do
Something needs saved in you

Personal Reflection

I wrote “Stealing Time” as the ten-year mark approached, but not to mourn what could have been. Eight years of marriage ended in chaos and destruction—choices, not fate. This isn’t about hoping for change or wishing things were different. It’s about drawing the line, calling out the darkness, and refusing to shoulder someone else’s demons. There’s pain, sure, but mostly clarity: your story is yours now, and I won’t let it shape me. I see the warning signs clearer than ever. You own your choices, not me.

4Me2BeFree

With “Stealing Time,” 4Me2BeFree channels real scars into cinematic storytelling—no filter, no pity, just raw truth and consequence. Every lyric, every visual, and every drop of rain on the casket is there to show that this isn’t a breakup song—it’s a declaration of freedom from someone else’s self-destruction. This is what 4Me2BeFree does: transforms lived experience into music that doesn’t flinch from the hard parts, making sure the story hits as hard as the truth.

Copyright Notice

All lyrics and content featured in this post are protected under copyright (© 2025) and have been securely time-locked and validated through a crypto-based verification system to ensure originality and ownership. Unauthorized reproduction or distribution of any part of these works without explicit consent is strictly prohibited.

Stealing Time

Low The Way You Love Me

Love The Way You Love Me

low The Way You Love Me

Verse
Why do I bother trying to convince you
You're such a goddamn cynic
That's not what you say when you're drunk and call me crying
You and I are both to blame
I'm not the only one you play
You're just a liar
I'm just a fool
I'm just a fool
I'm just a fool
I'm just a fool

Chorus
I'm the greyhound
But I still run after you
And it's not like I didn't know you
No
I still run after you
I'm the greyhound
But I still run after you
And it's not like I didn't know you
No
I still run after you

Verse 2
I don't know why I try to convince you
I guess I can't help it
I mean
Have you seen you?
I can't blame the others for what I feel
You and I are both to blame
I'm not the only one you play
You're just a liar
I'm just a fool
I'm just a fool
I'm just a fool
I'm just a fool

Chorus
I'm the greyhound
But I still run after you
And it's not like I didn't know you
No
I still run after you
I'm the greyhound
But I still run after you
And it's not like I didn't know you
No
I still run after you

Outro
I'm the greyhound
I'm the greyhound
I'm the greyhound
I'm the greyhound

Greyhound

Desires

Cardinal

"NEURODIVERGENT" is a hard-emo fever dream — a brutal, vulnerable dive into the mind of someone who feels everything too much. Built on distorted guitars, emotional breakdowns, explosive choruses, and digital grit. From manic invincibility to emotional paralysis, from O.C.D. spirals to R.S.D. collapse, the album captures the humanity and truth of a mind that never shuts off. Heavy, raw, and unforgettable.”

not built for me

A darkly humorous Appalachian rock track about drinking too much Budweiser during the Y2K panic, blacking out, and waking up freezing on the floor while your pregnant wife is furious. Vulnerable, messy, and embarrassingly real.

HARD APPALACHIAN

Y2K ON THE BEDROOM FLOOR

Now That I'm Here

VOL. VII: REIGN AND REFUGE – The Shaken Remnant

Synopsis:
Volume VII walks through Psalms 91–105 as songs about safety under God’s rule and memory of what He’s done. It opens with the sheltering promise of “Under the Shadow” and the rooted, long-view gratitude of “Fresh Oil in the Morning,” then moves into throne-and-storm imagery with “Mightier Than the Waves” and the justice cry of “When Justice Stands Up.” Midway, “Today” warns against hard hearts, “New Song for All Nations” and “Fire Before Him” call the whole earth to worship the reigning King, and “Joyful Noise,” “Holy Is the King,” and “Enter His Gates” lean into joyful, congregational praise. The back half turns inward and historic: “House of Integrity” vows a clean life, “Prayer from the Ruins” sings from collapse, “All That Is Within Me” blesses God’s mercy, “Maker of the Deep” walks through creation’s details, and “He Remembers His Word” traces covenant history from Abraham to Exodus. Each track paraphrases its psalm into a fully structured modern song—verses, pre-choruses, choruses, bridges, and repeats—moving across worship, indie rock, folk, gospel, and cinematic arrangements under The Shaken Remnant banner.

When Justice Stands Up | Psalm 94

"If it didn’t matter, it wouldn’t hurt. Pain is the gift of knowing you’re alive."

4Me2BeFree is more than music—it’s my story, my scars, and my survival. Every song is a piece of me, a raw melody of love, heartbreak, and resilience. I blend AI-generated vocals and instruments with real emotions, turning my experiences—especially from an LGBTQ+ perspective—into something that speaks to anyone who's ever felt lost, broken, or just searching for something real.

Breakup songs? Yeah, they hit different. Music carries us through the worst of it, and every generation finds their own anthems of love, loss, and getting back up. Heartache doesn’t care about age, gender, or where you come from—music connects us all.

I make music because I’ve been there. The pain, the anger, the hope—it's all in these songs. If something here hits home for you, let it. If you feel something, let me know. That’s the connection that keeps this alive.

Stealing Time

4Me2BeFree

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