shoutout @prod-oc for doing the bass for me <3 
thanks for listening <3 first solo song in forever 

// chorus
i don’t want to let go
but the feeling in my chest says no
and when the colors in my eyes won’t show
i hope you’ll see I’m better as bones

// verse
i don’t want to talk about it
cause every day is a blur in my head
when i look at you you’re perfect
but don’t look at me i’m worthless
and i don’t even try to hide it
you can see on it on the surface
everyone will say i’m heartless
i just wish that they could see

that it hurts for me to breathe
and it hurts for me to feel
and it hurts for me to walk on this earth everyday
and i can’t keep on pretending
keep lying
there’s no meaning
when my life comes to an end
i swear i’ll be okay

spotify

bones

COMMUNITY. Vol 2

saving my breath

SPOTIFY

shiki xo - saving my breath (vishs)

<3
released via: https://soundcloud.com/universalchill

featured artist: https://soundcloud.com/hiraethsry

socials:
https://www.instagram.com/deadfishig/

discord.gg/hsUwdAJknJ

lyrics:

There is something that’s inside of me
Screaming at me, tryna go to sleep
Dancing demons under eyelids
Can’t be rational when I’ve been

Awake for a couple of days
You don’t understand my struggles
Don’t pretend that you’re me
You’ve been buying a new necklace
When there’s a noose on my neck
Writing down all of my problems
Like they will go away

There is lots that I’m not proud of
I admit that I have messed up
Something’s causing all this pain
Must’ve slipped up in the past

Please don’t try to cheer me up
Don’t lie to me, I hate that
I’m aware of all my faults
And I’m trying to fix that

And I can’t stop it
Pills been pretty numbing
Been out of my mind
Excuse all my shortcomings

I swear to god it
Ruins all my friendships
I have tried everything now
Somehow I fuck it up, wow

They told me that I’ll end up insane
I think that
To say that it’s a little too late
And I just
Can’t bear the thought of not seeing the day
Where I will feel okay
Buried 6 feet with the pain

I don’t wanna lose you again
I been alone in my bed
Ive had a few dreams about you
But theyre all in my head

Scratching marks on my chest
Engrave ur name in my flesh 
So I can’t forget if I tried to
Ur gonna leave me for dead

I keep fucking up the timing 
U don’t wanna listen
U got feelings of denial
Another pot to piss in
feel like I should start to fight more
I don’t need to be religious baby
U know what I stand for
Ashes burn my eyes sore

anxious I can’t breathe
Im getting nauseous turn the lights out
Please don’t ever speak to me
Don’t act like got time now
Im fighting with myself
Im out of luck is this my karma
I can barely talk im scared of speaking when i call her

6 feet with the pain

6 feet with the pain (feat. hiraeth)

prod hira :)

in the end its only u and i
dont shed tears on a pillow if it isnt mine
these cuts fill the space in-between ur eyes
u say theres something about me 
u dont have to lie
turning to nothing 
ur watching me die
fuck face he a parrasite
ill stab that bitch in the neck if he wanna fight
these cuts fill the space in-between ur eyes
turning to nothing
ur watching me die

i heard u talking shit
so baby come a lil closer
tell it to my face so i can use it for some closure
god shes so embarrassing 
pretend i didnt know her
stabbing thru my chest 
i cant believe she said it wont hurt

that boy gonna piss from his eyes
u told me there's comfort inside
but ur presences still hunting me down
even my shit wanna drown

gimme some time 
i just need some patience
bodys on the floor 
i make em seem weightless
if he wanna die 
then we can arrange it
wasting all my time gambling my wages

gimme some space
i just need a minute
i left my soul on a bridge hoping that youd save it
you told me jump
so i did
and i hit the pavement
ive got nothing to give 
i dont think youre safe yet

in the end its only u and i
dont shed tears on a pillow if it isnt mine
these cuts fill the space in-between ur eyes
u say theres something about me 
u dont have to lie
turning to nothing 
ur watching me die
fuck face he a parrasite
ill stab that bitch in the neck if he wanna fight
these cuts fill the space in-between ur eyes
turning to nothing
ur watching me die

volume 1 on spotify, feb 3rd 

i don’t care if it’s lonely
i’m so sick of you just talking like you know me
and you could or you would if you didn’t go starting fires in this basement

oh…
hope you got everything you needed now
cause i’m burning every garden where we fell in love
and i’m killin’ every peasant that walks in this town
you know i’m painting the walls red till they scream for help

and i can bury every feeling that i’m feeling but i know that it’s just moments before i put the fucking gun in my mouth
you cut my heart and now it’s bleeding and i’m staring at the ceiling but the fuck do i expect when this is how it turns out?

oh why’d you go and make geist red
now he’s full of hate
i can’t stand to look at myself
not a fan of him
bodies scattered all across the hall
baby i don’t miss
so why’d go and makes me red
but i’m loving this...
i’ll fight an ego with a bigger one
i’ll hit another million
geistcord till the day i fucking die
but swear we’ve just begun
don’t care for anybody else
or anyone’s opinion
so go ahead and make geist red
red
red
red

i promise our love is dead [drma x lockhome]

@tnvr555 

you always bring out the worst in me my love
i hate myself so much
watched u burn our home straight to the ground
i grieved but now i’m done

said you’d do it in a heartbeat
i guess hearts don’t beat inside your world
cause it’s been 4 weeks
i just wanted comfort in the girl who once adored me
i’ve learnt that your words are nothing more than just poetry

the worst in me my love
i hate myself so much
u burnt it to the ground
i grieved but now i’m done

said you’d do it in a heartbeat
i guess hearts don’t beat inside your world
cause it’s been 4 weeks
i just wanted comfort in the girl who once adored me
i’ve learnt that your words are nothing more than just poetry

i want to take the blade
slice across my throat okay
hurts more than i’ll ever say
hurts more than my music could ever convey
don’t come and play your games with me
i wanted somewhere i could breathe
it hurts
it burns
so endlessly
i swear to god you’ve ruined me
and i don’t ever want to feel
if this is love i rather bleed

i hate myself so much [tnvr]

red vol. 2, 7th july <3

i feel my heart tear string from string again 
and i’m so sorry but i don’t know where the fuck you went 
cause you’re somebody, not the one i met  
i’ll leave the roses by our grave for all the love we had  

no one ever really cares for what i need 
i fall in love with narcissists that have different beliefs 
said that you’d do anything 
but chose to watch me bleed 
and honestly the pain is starting to feel like relief 

no one ever really cares till u can’t breathe 
i’m really fucking fighting i just need my time to grieve 
feeling so damn angry can’t take anymore defeats 
i really miss my friend another ghost amongst the trees 

are you mad love 
tell me i’m the bad one 
your life is but a scam but 
you don’t care what anyone thinks of you 
wish you had think us through 

fuck it’s so pathetic 
miss when you were more poetic 
brag that you’re so copacetic 
but what’s that worth when everyone’s tasted you 
it just not the girl i knew..

i’ll lay here flat on my face 
compare us, i’m a waste 
but at least i’m not fake :/ 
so don’t text that you miss me too 
oh love it’s just not the truth

i fall in love with narcissists [johnnyfriend]

prod @jibaorockin

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7Bw55FUwbp9DNYNy5eFCyc?si=ea41dd273e3c47cc
Visuals: 

// frvr
So sick of all these fake mutha fuckas
Soar to highs, fall to lows, crave the rushes
From the uppers, it reminds me of your touch
How you left me in the gutter
Left me in the gutter

I talk to people who act like they would understand
But they don’t understand
Claim it’s love and switch up, acting all above me
Fake as fuck, i wipe my blood up with my money

Scummy, everyday my nose was getting runny
Druggie, I think that I’m done being a druggy
Love me, even though I know you’ll never love me
Something, make me feel like something

When the truth is that I’m nothing to you
Wearing fabric skin so you can cut through
Walking in this corpse
You let me die at your door

I’ll never be the same as before
Broken hearts they bleed more
Guess I’ll need to pour four
So I feel less empty at the core

// geist
feel less empty at the core
oh let me interrupt
i can tell a fake from friends the way they fill my cup
i wipe the blood up with my money
and i never trust

got a snow white baby
she sleeps until the night time
heads gone crazy
can never find a peace of mind
now everybody says they know me
why they switching up?
cause i remember when they laughed
and never gave a fuck

oh come on spite me
tell me pretty lies
i’ll tell you hun i gotta go
cause you’re all acting funny
chasing money
fuck the love
seems like everybody
has an ego acting tough
i don’t need nobody
need nobody
to feel enough

VISUALS

cut through ft. I'm Geist (prod. Jibaoi Rockin)

@onlyfriendyeah
@tnvr555 

give a second dose
anything not to feel this
you know i’ll go ghost
pack my bags and i’m leaving 
and you will find a note
cause i've learnt i love you most...
but you seem to attract the fucking crowd i can't deal with

but time and time again was it worth it?
tell them love how you’re picture perfect
me? i’m trash washed up on the surface
i’m always the worst :))

now we’re falling again
into the darkest of nights
you can say you want me
but you already left my side...
hate myself less
but it’s really bad tonight :/ 
i can’t keep on fighting
i’ve got too much on my mind!!!

darling i will never be happy with you,
fuck i miss you,
damn i hate you :/ 
darling i will never be happy with you,
fuck i miss you,
damn i hate you :( 

say i dont need ur validation
but that's a lie
i cant hold a conversation
i'm too tongue tied
couldn't break it off, not to save my life
instead of amputating i let u bleed me dry
fml
hold me up to hang me high
and if the fall dont break my bones youll twist the knife
and pull me close

lover

i will never be happy with u - alt

i will never be happy with u w/ onlyfriend [tnvr]

prod. @yokaidreams

// yokai dreams
bleed out
cut deeper darling
lately things are so alarming
could you help me out?
no i don't need help
it's just a hobby
give you life, give you my body
and you tore it down

should i stay on pace?
should i kill myself?
think that blade will work quite well
gotta be a way
i know i know i know
i know
if i stay this way will i go to hell?
god forbid i be myself
maybe you'll be there as well
i hope, i hope

maybe this was all
for good
you know i would
love you darling, til it's over
but i'd love some fucking closure
watch me fall
or fly
i don't know what i'd like
but baby if i die

maybe you could bring me back to life

// geist
i love the feeling
how you burn me at the stake
spit on me
i’m wide awake
oh now you’re sorry
but it’s all too late

said i’m the poison baby
guess you haven’t learnt a thing
don’t say you’re sorry
then you go and stab the knife and you twist
it feels like torture
the way i let you walk all on me
so what are boundaries for if you don’t plan on respecting them

don’t say you want it
love i said
i swear i’m wanting out
you’re so dishonest
does the truth leave fucking cuts
in your mouth
i know i’m toxic
i’ve got flaws and oh i’m struggling now
but let’s be honest
there’s not much here worth for sticking around