i love ur voice :) such an underrated banger

Heard this song for the first time a couple weeks ago and I can't stop replaying it in my head

if you and han.irl<3 aren't bangin then you should totally tap that, Ryan

The Upload 5/3/22

Can't Keep My Cool

THE WAY A FRIEND WOULD

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JOIN / SUPPORT: www.patreon.com/kaistraw || If you want to keep me doing this music thing full time, you can donate monthly on Patreon.

For updates or to just say hey, text me: (707) 289-3895
It's really me, and I really do reply to everyone.

Written by Kai Straw
Produced Kai Straw
Engineered by Fred Sorenson
Artwork by KloudM

LYRICS:

No one gave me shit
I worked for this
At this point I’m just
done with encouragement
You say talented
I say calluses
I’m tasting my blood just pronouncing it
Since Fairfield days
The beats I made
I may have quit drinking but dream the same

I was told this the moon
Like good luck, Mr. Rocket Shoes

And they ask me why you workin’
All days of the week
To get somewhere you’ll never reach

I’ve been wishin’ for better so long
I guess I’m sick of wishing in by bed alone
If those wishes were weapons
Their full metal jackets are stuck
So fuck wishin’, I’m here with a gun
Jiminy Cricket never made me anyone
All my clips are full of bitterness
And I’m coming for you
I’ma bloom like a wicked magnolia

I’m not stoppin’ this
Just the opposite
I won’t drop when most people need oxygen
Since the green Lexus
Since the weed excess
Since the drink was my treatment for depression
Man, my lips been blue
Fuck what stitches do
I’ll put red on this mic like it’s ’92

I was told this the moon
Like good luck, Mr. Rocket Shoes

And they ask me why you workin’
All days of the week
Toward something you’ll never be

I’ve been wishin’ for better so long
I guess I’m sick of wishing in by bed alone
If those wishes were weapons
Their full metal jackets are stuck
So fuck wishin’, I’m here with a gun
Jiminy Cricket never made me anyone
All my clips are full of bitterness
And I’m coming for you
I’ma bloom like a wicked magnolia

Until I’m taken by weeds
My will is my leprosy
Instead of wounds that scrape the sheets
I’ve got no turn back in me
So set glass beneath my feet
Take the last breath that I need
To meet what glows beyond my reach
I’ll become a tragedy

There’s is no hell that spells retreat
Fuck your gravity
This to the grave
This to the grave

Stream

Mr. Rocket Shoes

FACETIME (feat. han.irl<3)

As well as the previous one, i wasn't able to finish this track as my apartment was burglarised on October 2020.
Around July 2020, i've randomly sent some music to a dear friend of mine: Simon Heah, because he wanted to hear it.
Here is what's left, as well as other lo-fi recordings that i will only share on Soundcloud.
The thieves stole my musical equipment, my computer and the usbs where i kept the projects at the time, gladly i was able to send some audio files to Simon.
There is no reason for me to holding on to it, so here it is...

Sky Blue Skin was recorded mainly around July of 2020, in my home studio.

Sky Blue Skin (Unreleased Track)

prone2leave

prod. ilytwelve

you say i sound like him oh well 
i’m just doing what i love 
tryna make it my living 
i don’t wanna be no scrub 
and i don’t wanna be no one but me 
i don’t wanna be no one 
this when shit get ugly 
singing shit through my lungs 

ain’t nothing copacetic keep it real 
i never come in second first or fail 
now everybody hmu sayin i’m gon hit a mil 
but where were y’all at when i fell? 
( gone ) 
yeah, where were y’all at when i fell? 
yeah, where were y’all at when i-

don’t know what to feel 
been so caught up in your lies 
don’t even know what’s real 
don’t wanna work a 9 to 5 
that ain’t how i wanna live 
don’t wanna work a 9 to 5 
that ain’t how i wanna live 
stop 
show what you’re made of
don’t want the fake shit 
baby i want the real love but 
can’t ever get it 
i never know your intentions 
picked up my heart 
and you left me with these incisions 
i just 
wanna be me don’t wanna be no one else 
but how can i fucking do that 
i don’t even know myself 
trade a penny for a dime 
and my time for some help 
cause i don’t need to know nobody 
i just wanna know myself yeah 
( fuck ) 

ain’t nothing copacetic keep it real 
i never come in second first or fail 
now everybody hmu sayin i’m gon hit a mil 
but where were y’all at when i fell? 
( gone ) 
yeah, where were y’all at when i fell? 
yeah, where were y’all at when i-
fell.
( gone )

epiphany

prod. sherif xr
backing vocals by babebee, yazida, & riptony

spotify & apple music✪: fanlink.tv/circus-xr

you wanna cross by my mind...

XR 2023

CIRCUS

YOU COULDN'T LOVE IF YOU WANTED TO

all in good time

not2sober

(prod. blank)
guitar loop: rjpasin
lyrics: 
when i let you in
didnt know id lose my head again
step back see the whole world fall on me
its all my fault not who i wanna be
and i swear
you wanted something else
dont wanna talk about it
just be by myself
and its over now but i cant regret it
things that you said in my head
never left it rent free down in my head
been stuck for a while now
gave up my home and
i stayed home for a while
tried to cope
but it didnt work im all out of hope
when i let you in
didnt know id end up here again
the seasons change up
filled with karma
is my debt all paid up yet?
and have you taken enough?
ive been shaken up
ive been breaking down
its pulling me apart
and ive faken enough
i dont wanna bluff anymore its hard
but i see now
my smile was your touch
i lose breath with no lungs
and these warm summer months
been cold since you gone
woke up new epiphany
i see what you did to me
i was fucked up mentally
but all i needed was amenity oh
when i let you in
didnt know id lose my head again
step back see the whole world fall on me
its all my fault not who i wanna be 
and i swear
you have to find who you are
it's time to let go.
you fell out of reach
summers been passing time through the breeze and
in my head i plead
someone to save me don't wanna end up stuck in a daze
stare at a daw just to feel anything
bring all my hopes up, tearing em down
no one can hear me despite all the sounds
and i can't move on
you said be honest so ill just say it
i hate myself got no replacement
so im here, stuck between these ears
while avoiding every mirror
avoiding all my peers
and i've felt this way for years
and i see it so clearly
i was falling you ain't even talk to me
doesn't matter now
can't regret it now
or make it better now
don't regret it now.

mirrors

i'm back

composition, instrumentation, production all by me and @brakence

[Verse 1]
brakence
It's oversaturated
Lock in adrenaline
I'm so detached and jaded
This shit'll spread me thin

Colliding With Mars
I'm unsteady
Bypassing a firewall
I think I'm running out of options
What I'd give to say I'm not involved
Whatever changes, I remain a target

brakence & Colliding With Mars
And they're telling me "boy, you just gotta let go"
But I just stick to the ceiling like mental velcro
Cause what I thought was an answer was just an echo
I did the deed but my spirit's still in the escrow

Colliding With Mars
El problema siempre es el dinero
Yo quiero sexo en exceso
I want to shed this
Constant, unvaried
Looping hell

[Chorus]
brakence & Colliding With Mars
Fucked up, no luck
I'm in a rut
Stuck, disgusted and I'm

[Verse 2]
Colliding With Mars
I never thought to try (go, go, go-go)
Something to kiss the sky (go, go, go-go)
I'm in a thought loop using dream logic
To solve a math equation in the dark
I'm in the dark
I can't find my way

brakence
You're not my enemy
And from my head to my heart
I just can't hold it back
In the cathedral, torn and imbibed
I'm begging for stretching hands
I had the faith you'll swim through the depths
And pull me from mud to land

Colliding With Mars
Requiem æternam dona ei
Domine, amén

[Chorus]
brakence & Colliding With Mars
Fucked up, no luck
I'm in a rut
Stuck, disgusted and I'm

Brightness of Vega (feat. brakence)

Every step I take trembles underneath me,
Like the wood remembers things I swore I’d forget.
Every shift, every creak feels familiar,
Like the house is calling out the secrets I’ve kept.

There’s a rhythm in the planks when I’m walking,
A quiet pulse that follows me from room to room.
It’s like they feel the weight I carry in my chest—
Like they know what I’m scared to tell too soon.

And every time the boards bend,
I swear they’re saying my name.
Like they know what I deny—
Know exactly where to aim.

The floorboards know the things I hide,
They hear the cries I never said out loud.
Every creak is a truth I tried to bury,
But it rises through the wood somehow.

The floorboards know when my heart is heavy,
They feel it every time I break inside.
No matter how soft I try to step,
Baby, they hear every lie.

I’ve walked these rooms in silence for years now,
Trying not to leave the weight of who I’ve been behind.
But the floor still shifts under every heartbeat,
Like it knows the nights I didn’t feel alive.

Sometimes I freeze just to stop the sound,
As if the house can’t hear me if I don’t move.
But the truth vibrates through every sliver of wood—
There’s nothing here I can keep from view.

The house learns you slowly,
Takes in everything you bring.
And these boards don’t forget—
They echo everything.

The floorboards know the things I hide,
They hear the cries I never said out loud.
Every creak is a truth I tried to bury,
But it rises through the wood somehow.

The floorboards know when my heart is heavy,
They feel it every time I break inside.
No matter how soft I try to step,
Baby, they hear every lie.

And sometimes late at night,
I swear they speak back to me—
Little groans of memories
I didn’t mean to leave.
They carry every version of me,
Pressed into the grain—
A record of the moments
I couldn’t hold,
I couldn’t name.

The floorboards know the things I hide,
They hear the cries I never said out loud.
Every creak is a truth I tried to bury,
But it rises through the wood somehow.

The floorboards know when my heart is heavy,
They feel it every time I break inside.
No matter how soft I try to step,
Baby, they hear every lie.

I move slow, but they still hear it—
All the weight beneath my feet.
These floorboards know me better
Than anyone I’ll ever meet.

The Floorboards Know

New ventures await, gotta believe,  
Every obstacle's a chance to achieve.  
Handing out the manual, we must teach,  
To the next in line, it's within our reach.   
Life's a journey, choices like cars we own,  
Never leasing dreams, we make them our own.  
Futures untold, with every step we take,  
Selections today shape the paths we create.  
Instructors we must be, guiding the way,  
Sharing our wisdom with those who will stay.  
Through every twist and turn, we learn to see,  
That every choice we make sets our spirits free.  
Life's a journey, choices like cars we own,  
Never leasing dreams, we make them our own.  
Futures untold, with every step we take,  
Selections today shape the paths we create.  
So take a breath, embrace the ride,  
With open hearts, let love be our guide.  
In this dance of life, we find our song,  
Together we're right where we belong.  
Life's a journey, choices like cars we own,  
Never leasing dreams, we make them our own.  
Futures untold, with every step we take,  
Selections today shape the paths we create.  
New ventures await, and we believe,  
In every choice, our dreams will weave.  
Together we rise, through the highs and lows,  
In the life we choose, our true story grows.




FACETIME (feat. han.irl<3)

Ryan Hall

Recent comments

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warver

anthony alexander

unionha

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