Fully Agree, Cant stand the 'real torture' stuff

It's a weird cartoon. The story is always meh, but once in a while a line of dialogue will make you honestly laugh.

Blaaahhhhh. Ain't gettin' hopeful about Warcraft until it comes out and people with an idea of what they're talking about say it's good.

This is the most amazing human achievement I've ever witnessed.

I totally get that mentality, actually. Like a story that can't commit to one ending has no idea what its narrative is trying to say. I think the clincher is the degree to which the game makes player choice matter; games trying to tell a specific, focused story should mostly stick with one ending, while others that focus on putting the player in a robustly crafted game world to see what they do in it should generally follow through with that by accommodating player choice with endings that reflect the impact a given player has made.

Say what you will about Phil Fish, I thought the puzzles in Fez were amazing.

My eyes do that because of my allergies, my eyelids swell and my eyelashes will curl into my eyes. It's very annoying. XP

That's why I can't watch this sort of film, too.

On this week's episode, there's corruption on the high seas as soft drinks and snack products worm their way into our filthy, clogged hearts. We have a go at Ubisoft some more, make fun of Haunted House, and there's yet more Dragon Age love sneaking in. 

We also have a right ol' moan about microtransactions and branded pizzas. And pisspots. 

Podquisition Episode 2: Drink Call of Duty Responsibly

On this week's episode, we laugh at some rando who has no idea how Patreon works and believes The Jimquisition should be investigated by the government. We also explain to people how shouting on Twitter doesn't work. 

Elsewhere, there's talk of Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5, we look at the ridiculous Call of Duty: Black Ops 3 publicity stunt, and there's a bit more SOMA chat. 

Podquisition Episode 45: The Patreon Conspiracy

Laura compares her teenage poetry to the lyrics of Shadow the Hedgehog's title tune, and we find out that corporate-produced angst cannot stand up to the real thing. 

Elsewhere, there's more VR bollocks, we talk about Nintendo and the NX, and one third of the team might be a bit loopy on medication. 

Podquisition Episode 62: Shadow The Hedgehog Vs. Teenage Poetry

On today's meaty episode, we chat about Baba Yaga rule 34, the merits of Ronan Keating, and the sexual misadventures of Kanye West. 

Can you believe we talked about games a lot, too? 

American Truck Simulator, Peter Molyneux's latest bollocks, Rise of the Tomb Raider, Tales of Symphonia's terrible PC port, and so much more are all on the docket. 

What a show! 

Podquisition Episode 64: Knuckle-Deep In Kanye

On this week's episode, there's a traumatic experience with an eyelid while "fan" feedback gets to be uniquely offensive. 

Elsewhere, we talk about the horrors of the confirmed live-action Sonic the Hedgehog film, Molyneux is mocked again, and The Lost can go screw itself.

Also, thoughts on Firewatch and Unravel!

Podquisition Episode 65: Spunk Out Your Eyeholes

On this week's episode, we obviously have to spend some time making fun of the terrible Street Fighter V launch. We also chat about Quantum Break's PC release, and Hideo Kojima's latest chicanery. 

There are a few home truths to be said about the Xbox One, too. Let's put this on the table...

Podquisition Episode 66: The Xbox One Is A Bit Toss

The role of Gavin this week will be played by Loading Ready Run's Graham Stark! 

This episode spends some time talking about virtual reality porn, with hot topics such as golden showers, tupper sex parties, and lemon whores all on the menu. 

We also discuss Far Cry Primal, Plants Vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare 2, and Laura's notorious trials with Undertale livestreaming. 

Podquisition Episode 67: Come To Our Tupper Sex

Okay, none of us were prepared for how bloody good this was. Seriously better than it has any right to be.

The Spin-off Doctors: Jumanji - Welcome To The Jungle

Secrets and mysteries abound as Ryan Reynolds pretends to be a yellow mouse for a minute.

The Spin-off Doctors: Detective Pikachu

The Spin Off Doctors: Jumanji: The Next Level

We feel confident saying, by way of comparison, that this podcast is very, very punk.

Games we played this week include: 
Demon's Souls (21:05)
Nullpointer (24:40)
Visual Out (27:05)
Grindstone (29:15)
Dead to Rights: Retribution (32:25)
Calico (38:10)
Spinnortality (44:30)
Dicey Dungeons (47:15)
Observer (50:45)
Among Us (54:45)
Fall Guys (58:15)

News things talked about in this episode:
Cyberpunk has too many dildos (2:00)
CDPR offers refunds on last-gen Cyberpunk without informing retailers (13:00)
CDPR paying out staff bonuses previously tied to review scores (18:45)
New Fortnite mode appropriates Among Us (1:03:19)
EA’s entire library added to console version of Xbox Game Pass (1:05:13)
Mass Effect trailer indicates canon ending for original trilogy (1:06:45)
Omen wins ‘worst commercial’ at The Game Adverts (1:10:30)
Twitch to ban hate content…in February (1:14:35)

Find Laura at LauraKBuzz on Twitter, Twitch, YouTube, and Patreon. All her content goes on LauraKBuzz.com, and you can catch Access-Ability on YouTube every Friday.

Follow Conrad at ConradZimmerman on Twitter and check out his Patreon (patreon.com/fistshark). You can also peruse his anti-capitalist propaganda at pinfultruth.com.

Podquisition 312: Now That’s Punk!

Audio home of The Jimquisition, featuring its lovely little podcast, Podquisition - starring Jim Sterling, Laura Kate, and Conrad Zimmerman!

Podquisition Episode 65: Spunk Out Your Eyeholes

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