Me as both
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental by Kustom

TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS
FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT
VS
JERRY SEINFELD
BEGIN


Jerry Seinfeld:
Want a World War-Burton? Joe Swanson can’t spit hard
When old grandpas make up his whole fan club
But by now, I’m sure you’re used to sitcoms
Cause that body of yours sure ain’t fit for stand-up
Ayyy, Jerry Seinfeld, unrivaled
Grab a mic, I’ll go right into spittin’ fire, insightful 
Can’t hope to fight all my titles because my comedy’s dominant
While you’re awful in politics, your democracy flopped to bits
And your policies aren’t shit to the shows that I’ve landed
So this song, I’ll be calling it “Punks in Chairs Getting Their Asses Handed”
Set foot in the White House, unemployment went berserk
Jesus, not even your legs wanted to work
It’s your Constitutional right to not talk, so use it
Cause that novice Truman drops more bombs than you, man
What are your contributions? We’re all just clueless, for real!
Left the American people asking “What’s the New Deal?”
Got status higher than you during your Infamy spiel, cretin
My damn Bee Movie Script tops all your boring ass speeches
My old man fought for the Allies, so I’ll respect your appeal
But now the only Axises you’re battling are on your wheelchair wheels

FDR:
You call yourself a comedian? Those jokes were dreadful!
The only thing we have to fear is another one of your specials
To hell with your two cents, I’ll give you my right dime
I’ll need less than four terms to dismantle your tight five
FDR sets the bar extra hard ‘gainst this farce
Left in shards when I’m armed, best not harm the pres in charge
500 pairs of sneakers and still no footing in humor
Just a dried out boomer, call you Amy Shoe-mer
I trashed Hitler’s whole state, you took silver to Goldthwait
But you must be fed up with all the critics on your plate
I’m the next George Washington, you’re ignored over George Costanza
Even Madison would tower over crack Adam Sandler
I led my country through the greatest depths
When the economy crashed harder than the Marriage Ref
Then I beat the world’s evils, stirred people up with ill words
And now they pit me up against a safe for work Bill Burr?

Jerry Seinfeld:
Let’s back it up a tad bit, you cousin-loving fascist 
Don’t act like your past isn’t shrouded in trash, prick
Try rescuing refugees, or if that’s too much to ask
At least try not cramping the Japanese in internment camps
You just might be the most racist dude in World War Two
Cause even Hitler treated Jesse Owens better than you
First man to rep a black card, that’s the kinda bank this dude owns
But the only Black guy you ever liked was Hugo

FDR:
With that foul rap odor, I doubt you’re sober
‘Cause you whine about society more than the Joker
And now Gen Z memes cause your legacy to wilt
Change your sitcom’s description to a show about your skill
You barely made it, your career was carried thanks to Larry David
And you dare to claim I’m racist when your fame is dated
Fading ratings, there’s no way you’ll save ‘em, tanked just like your failed relations
Maybe make sure that the babe you crave’s of age before you date them
Franklin’s undebatedly the greatest man to grace this planet
Your bits make some lame kids laugh but my words make the stage go frantic
Make you panic, hateful tactics won’t suffice or aid your rapping
I don’t need a cane to grasp, my verbal hooks will take this has-been

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
WE DECIDE!
TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS

Franklin D. Roosevelt vs Jerry Seinfeld. Terrible Rap Battles of Comic Sans

Mysterio Vs Psycho Mantis - Marvel Vs Anything

Saul Goodman Vs. Daredevil

Multi-Millionaire Adult Entertainer Hugh Hefner faces against Children's Entertainer Pee-wee Herman in our newest rap battle.

TewZen as Hugh Hefner
Mat4yo as Pee-wee Herman

LYRICS:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
HUGH HEFNER
VS
PEEWEE HERMAN
BEGIN!

Hugh Hefner:
The difference between Playboy and Playhouse is simple
You took my title and stuck a “with” in the middle
I’ll have to riddle ‘gainst a little kid who didn’t take his Ritalin
and giggles like his nipples got twisted but thinks it’s tickling
Wishing Miss Yvonne would kiss you “right where it hurts, ma’am”
But with that Pee-Wee, you’ll never be Her Man
Your Rising Action Climaxed in the previews
when Peewee was “cumming in theaters near you”

Peewee Herman:
HAHA, a bunny suits you well
the way you hop around town playing show and tell!
Making beds rock out of wedlock of the law,
I don’t know how you keep it up with that pin above your balls!
‘Cause your pals are only palimonies, after you’re deceased
You’ll be a veteran remembered as an Editor in Chief!
You’re a Crooked Man and I’m gonna subscribe you to the Bible
and override your Bi-cycle with my bicycle!

Hugh Hefner:
You’re schizophrenic mess who’s poisoning a generation
Try and gaze at my mansion while you’re enslaved in your basement
‘Cause you’re a nerd hippie, I’m a strapping geriatric gladiator
and i’ll have you running like a fidgety refrigerator
Crank all the prank calls you think won’t tank
‘till you underpay the interest accrued in your Spank Bank
You think you’re forgotten from watching me lay it down?
No, I just had more “versatile” toys in my playhouse

Peewee Herman:
Not ONE good joke! Guess you can’t Stand Up!
Plus, you might “stop motion” if your heart rate goes nuts!
I know the mind of a child and I’ll use it to crack your code
and add some 49 more shades of red to your bathrobe!
with a tip of the hat I’ll be tipping your boat
if you’re joking, I’ll be literally coming at your throat
now we both play with plastic toys but why?
I know you are, butt! What am I?
it’s sad your form of literature is Otherkins on Calendars.
You’re no entrepreneur, your category is Amateur!
I’ll force you in your drawer in the morgue with those loose screws
‘cause we all scream when we see you as if the secret word was HUGH!


Hugh Hefner vs Pee-wee Herman

iTunes Link: http://apple.co/1SG8IgB

@mat4yo as Dovahkiin (Skyrim)
@jmbraps as The Lone Wanderer (Fallout)

DOVAHKIIN
Alchemixin' my lyrics, now there's a rap track brewin'!
I'll be spitting fire with the dragon tongue in which I'm fluent
Give Miraak a whack, and Alduin's in ruins
Harkon's far gone all thanks to my doing
Try seven thousand ways but you can’t STEP to this
Packing amulets that make even your Three Bitch hitched
Get ‘em to Broadcast this murder from the 101! 
Breaking News: 
"our games will be the same when I bring in my guns"
Your run in with your vault chick could've gone a lot smoother
With your imperfect future that didn’t really suit her
Now you're hackin' computers, like a brotherhood trooper
But I've seen fewer tumors hanging ‘round in the sewers


LONE WANDERER
Started with baby steps, a legend since I was born
Spittin' bombs like Megaton's, now I'm facing a unicorn
Wrote a guide, saved towns, a one man army-for hire
Keep your spells Dovy; I'll set worlds on fire!
You can’t retaliate, I’m leaving this worthless frog beat
Serve you into little tiny pieces, Dogmeat
Steppin' up to me, and a war is what you're facin' bro
You know that I’m Rad! I was on the damn radio!
And I'm rockin' the VATS; droppin' scum like Vault Security!
This waste of space will face my verbal Project Purity!
One charge and I'll Shishkebab your weak sword play
I'll bet  those Nordic furries like the Sweet-Roll Play!


DOVAHKIIN
Ugh, that whole verse you spat was a Bloody Mess
You Intelligence is zero, so let me readress 
You'll find victory Elsweyr; for war, you’re too young!
I Crack dovah skulls open with the power of my lungs
I will blow your companions with a FUS RO DAH
while your Dogmeat romancing ‘against his FUR OH GOD! 
This guy's daddy ran from home and he can’t find his flow
and his loss will forever keep this Wanderer a Lone

LONE WANDERER
Huff...I’ve heard Wadsworth tell me a better joke
I'm crafting man-made weapons while you're a toe-sucking bloke
I'll send you flying to Oblivion, it must be uncommon
'cause I know you don't get to the Cloud District very often
I can fix my reputation after countless crimes
You’re a viking straight from daycare, always screaming all the time
Didn't need skill points to have this battle on lock!
Done justice to this scum, now get back on the chopping block!

Fallout vs Skyrim

Starring
JRoyalVA as Frollo
Titanium1208 as Gaston

Frollo:
You should know, I don’t take kindly to peasants
It’d be wise to fall to your knees again, in my presence
Your gang of ruffians are nothing next to my amassed power  
And may the Lord have mercy once I show Belle my Tower
Forced marriage, locked her dad in a carriage, and what’s next?
You treat every woman like you’ve turned them into objects
Drop the facade, and ask anyone that knew you
It’s obvious you only wanted to see LeFooFoo

Gaston:
Are you sure that creature's not your son? Seems like your looks passed on
The Festival's over, so why’s this grandpa got his mask on?
I’ll fight any gargoyle, down to every last one
Cuz no one quite rocks the mic like Gaston

Townsfolk:
GASTON 

Gaston:
This matchup's beastly, I expect an atonement
Do you know who I am? I deserve a better opponent
LeFou! Remove the fool grovelling at my feet
The townsfolk will dub my verses “Beauty and the Beat”

Frollo:
Looks indeed are deceiving; although you look firm,
You’re grumpy cause you didn’t get to put the worm in bookworm 
I’ll rid this fight of vice and sin, which means your rage that lies within
When I spit Hellfire, this Gypsy will be fried and binned

Gaston:
You pulled a Gothel; raised a baby in cobble, but who's the loner?
The child or the man who burnt cities 'cuz he had a boner?
Build your wicked Frollo Baggins schemes in other bouts
So begone! I’ll help another looney old man... out!

Frollo vs Gaston. CMRB

YT Link: https://youtu.be/iUiV0fle18c

Vladimyr P. as Sonic.EXE
Boris as Herobrine

(0:10)
WELCOME TO A SINISTER RAP BATTLE
SONIC.EXE
AGAINST
HEROBRINE
BEGIN

(0:20) Sonic.EXE:
Sonic R-aps, and attacks, so you better watch your back
You’re a square tryna face something that is always on the track
take your childish insults and throw em back into the dirt
Then I’ll bury the remains, just to suffocate a twerp
I’m the fastest thing alive and even faster on this mic
You better watch your blocky head or it’ll end on a pike!
Take a Steve model kids, and put some bleach in his eyes
You’re a sellout, not a hero..brine R.I.P your shrine

(0:40) Herobrine:
I’ll stack this file with the pigs, after his neck’s snapped back
This track running maniac’s getting burnt on a track
With HP levels of this freak, he could get beat by fallen trees
But I don't wanna go against someone who stole an MP3!
You’re empty inside? Man, just look into my eyes!
I don’t need to (w)rap up disses just to make this pasta die!
You best pray to win this, you’re riding MY bandwagon!
It seems that you’ve lost this round, so, you wanna try again?

(1:00) Sonic.EXE:
Trying again is not needed since I DON’T NEED A ROUND TWO-
beat a disgrace to creepypastas, man, what can you even do?
Lurk out in the distance? And place signs all around?
So read this, your eyes can’t shine six feet through the ground

(1:10) Herobrine:
That verse was so damn awful, it's like i’ve seen it before
You’d wish you’d never been born once you taste my diamond sword
Now this fraud’ll bow down to ME once you spot me in the distance
With your win in my hand, i’ll throw it out like your existence


(1:20) Sonic.EXE:
I know you wouldn’t agree that your disses fall flat
But it’s no wonder that your mod is run by 10 year old brats
And on my server’s list, you’ll be next to execute
It’s rich to try and take control, when your own brother removed you

(1:30)
Herobrine:
You’re as common as they come, my victories like diamond ore
No wonder you’re a trollpasta, your whole story was a bore!
Now leave the world I’ve crafted, nothing you do matters
‘Cause after all, we’re both figments within our own masters

(1:40)
WHO MURDERED THE MIC?
COMMENT THE WAIVER BELOW
RETURN TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL
FOR ANOTHER
SINISTER RAP BATTLE

Writers: Vlad, Boris, and Jake G.
Audio Mixed by Vlad
Thumbnail made by Vlad
Beat Produced by: 2Deep

Sonic.EXE vs Herobrine. Sinister Rap Battles

What's up boys, we are back with an audio release for some fun! Today we got the legendary Japanese terror, Godzilla, against former President of the United States, Harry Truman, enjoy!

CAST:
Freshy Kanal as Godzilla
Raichous as Harry Truman

LYRICS:
Godzilla:
I’m the pinnacle reptile, call me Monster Zero-One
With the size to backup my rhyme skill, second to none
I’m a mic Destroyah, but we already knew I spit fire
Here’s a Fair Deal: I won’t crush you if you retire
You’re puny, mortal, too emasculate for a foe
You’re as unguarded as the last time you stepped down from your post
I made King Kong my bitch, even the Avengers couldn’t harm me
Now I’m dunkin’ on your raps like I did to Charles Barkley
There’s not a single thing you’ve done that’s ever turned a profit
The original failed businessman to be elected to office
You’ve got nothing to say, but this Monsterverse was legendary
You can’t beat this, so go on then, give me hell, Harry

Truman:
I was sipping bourbon when I was called to fight an iguana
Now it’s time to tip the scales on a stuntman in a condom
I’m a True Man; I speak my mind, just look through the Doctrine
And I’m not the only office that has bombs worth dropping
I can see the headlines already, print says Truman beats Godzilla
‘Cause despite your snickery, your films are far too vanilla
You dunk into the ocean, perhaps to hide from CPS, I see
But that freak of kid's defense is likely throwing his eggs at me

Godzilla:
Kaiju not tell when you’re outmatched? I’m known for wiping out armies
So this ancient waste of office space could never hope to scar me
After one shitty season, it's time to end the Truman Show
‘Cause I’ve tore down your rhymes like I devastated Tokyo

Truman:
I'm not exactly the one to hinder upon the churches
but your revival did that for me, by rendering the God worthless
I haberdashed your chances of a Resurgence of rhymes
As I plunged your ass back in the sea for the final time

Godzilla:
Eisen-howah ‘bout you retreat? Or I’ll just end your term early
You’d need an Oxygen-Destroyer to pardon this turkey
The King of Monsters just sent another peasant straight to jail
This old man’s just frustrated 'cause, like his organs, he failed

Truman:
I’m a seasoned veteran; you’re a brine-spitting toad
Even Dewey could defeat you. There’s your headline, Chicago
So I’ll seal the deal against this threat from the Far East
I spit phat rhymes to beat you, now a fat man to kill this beast

Beat by: Allrounda
Mixed by: Freshy Kanal
Cover by: Commander Jacob
Art by: Cyancoat Enzo

Godzilla Vs Harry Truman| GridLine Rap Battles Season 2

Welcome to the first bonus battle from Epic Rap Battles of Cartoons!

Chao as Arthur
Jacob as Arnold
garbageGothic as Helga
Matthew, Commander Jacob, Fightmarker, Astro, Geon, Underscores, Dustin, & MetaMachine as “Hey!”

Lyrics:
Arthur:
Hey!
It used to be a wonderful day
Until a kilt wearing football was thrown in my way!
This aardvark drops bars hard going up
Against Stewie Griffin from All Grown Up
Both our shows aired on the same day in '96
But remind me, which premiere truly became a mighty hit?
Not the World’s Greatest Gleeper who just took my design
Just to get a slice of the slice-of-life pot pie!

Arnold:
A ham-fisted verse? Don't let a fella get cocky
I know you'll hate this rapping, like you're Helga Pataki
Gerald once told me the story of the Ghost Bride
Though the horrors in that couldn’t compare to your first design
Always dreaming of becoming a celebrity? Well peep this
You'll never be popular, you fit more on the geek list
I can tell you're gonna mumble in your verse right after
'Cause you've dropped the ball harder than all of my voice actors

Arthur:
Oh Arnold, your series isn’t even worth the bother
While you were at jump street, I made friends with Mr. Rogers
You came up short, man. Like Binky, you can’t throw hands
I’mma leave you like your parents; alone with your gramps

Arnold:
You’ve over-egged the tapioca, while I got two hit movies
Can’t wake up to the facts? You must be hitting up the smoothies
That belittling was worse than when you hit your little sis
I might as well call this Arthur’s Big Sh-
Helga:
Arnold!

Written by Matthew Thomas
With Help from: Underscores, Brodecai, & Adroitwhiz

Mixed & Mastered by Matthew Thomas
With Help from: Dustin & Light

Beat by George Georgia of Audio Network

Arthur vs Arnold. Epic Rap Battles of Cartoons Bonus Battle.

Mancha (UBERocity) as Nick Wilde
Nekomancer as Legoshi

Beat Produced by: Bob Bradley and Terry Devine-King
Written by: Dani Frias, Legengo and MetaMachine
Chiseled by: Legengo and MetaMachine
Mixed by: GamingPlush64
Flow Test by: Dani Frias
Thumbnail by: Paige

Lyrics:

Nick:
I thought a pawpsicle would maybe put you in your place
But you really wanna start with me to think you’ll save face
If you really thought that predator and prey would come together and sing kumbaya
Well, this is not the case
You see, I’m not falling for all the horny people in Beastars
Especially since you’re in here with what the beat stars
But nonetheless, I’ll hand over the mic for some echos
‘cause Legoshi just stepped in something worse than on a lego

Legoshi:
You sound like your sloth friend, dragging in for just a joke
Someone get the fox repellent ‘fore the artist starts to choke
But even if you did take that off you’ll be stuck last
‘cause I’m pretty sure those bars came from a skunk’s ass
I’m getting real sick of your garbage, so take note
I’m hunting prey while you use that thought as a scapegoat
You’re not slick, Nick, you should’ve ditched this
Rapping for you’s just another failed business

Nick:
Look at this; the theater kid is trying to be smart
Take my pen if you were really in a hustle, sweetheart
This big bad wolf needs a bone for his back
He got labeled as a killer but he couldn’t kill the track

Legoshi:
Hm, maybe that’s why your movie went down to ashes
Avoided making good lines like they were taxes
But it’s your word against yours, and the disses here are plain
I’m on top of you, Wilde, and this ain’t even the food chain

Nick:
You can leave being on top to the bunnies
Did you know my comic wasn’t canon, dummy?
Yeah, It’s cute that you had a pet beetle out the movie set
Animal Crossing over with Legoshi and Juliet
Throw tomatoes at this hoax, that’s what the class thought
I’ve seen better fights in your mind all for the class thot
That’s just real life, kid, only cats are known to stack some
But be the pussy you are and take that verse from act one

Legoshi:
That was really all you said? All that I could hear were muffles
My savage led to here and your savage led you to muzzles
Quit the trouble, I’m tired of this furry’s dirty floors
You’re a cop, alright, tending to enforce rule thirty-four
and you’re also one to talk about rabbits, funny
Lived a life of crime but chucked it to snitch for a bunny
We may be dogs, Jacka-ss, but I’ll do what a goat will
You already ran the streets, but on the track, you’re just roadkill

Nick Wilde vs. Legoshi - #5

Freshy Kanal as Doom Slayer
Peachumari as Chara
prod. VinnyO
Written by Vinny and Dani Frias

Doom Slayer:
Who let this gamer grind killer inside of Earthbound 2?
I wanted a bare bloody fight, but instead I got you
I’m near immortal, from Hell and back I watch demons die
With your boring route, you couldn’t reach Pope’s hard drive
But now the Slayer’s arrived, I’ll make that save flash before your eyes
Double barrel, take your life, make you fall down a second time
This child wants to kill me? What cards do you play?
I’ll kill your fucking discount Pokémon like it was just a Tuesday
(Rip and tear!) Until you’re done, come at me
(If you fucking dare!)
I’ve seen real monsters, kid, so get out my way
Or you’ll be the second Icon of Sin I’ll get to slay

Chara:
Over the top gore, a murderous eyesore
The edgy Wolfenstein don’t know the horrors that I have in store
I got souls of monsters I’ve slaughtered, I’m putting them aside
Strike you ‘till there’s nothing remaining, I call it genocide
I’m the one Flowey can’t delete, your defeat will ensure monsters can’t compete
Better call this ‘93, can’t you see? You can’t look down on me
Listen Mr. Samus Aran, that helmet’s holding back your flow
I see that arsenal you’re bearing, but this determination’s my death blow
I’m a curse to the underground, my thirst will never cease
A destroyer of peace, causing more terror than a Hell Priest
I bet this will ring-abelle, you’re not all guns and fury
Since you got a soft spot for Nintendo Switch furries

Doom Slayer:
If you’re the ultra-violent, I’m the nightmare, don’t catch me when feral
Take my crucible, decapitate you, leave you with Romero
While you played with skeletons, I’ve fought the underworld’s flames
while you’re the BFG-20k: boring fucking game

Chara:
I’ve seen enough of you, doomer, don’t try to give the mic a port
It shows you’re just as bright as a copy of 64
I’m fueled on cutting up flowers, I got the pellets here to prove it
I’d love to cut up a Daisy, but aww… the demons beat me to it

Fallout vs Skyrim

Mr. Jay