🖤

happy 3rd birthday decks & 19th to me B)
new summer ending pop punk with @ejcarrmusic & @evancarus
prod. polar & iof :)
hope u enjoyyy <333

lyrics:
(evan carus)
home again
feels like i’m right back where i started
i’ve walked down this road before, but it’s like my path is still uncharted

ways parted, bridges burned
heart guarded, lesson learned
worst nightmares, reaffirmed
past the point of no return

(decks)
im scared and reliant
im forced into place
their acts are defiant,
why have we all been replaced

(evan carus & decks)
grains of sand slipping away
we walk in darkness, lose the path
hand in hand we’re lead astray
time falls from our hourglass

i’ve been losing everyone
fell asleep and summer’s gone now
im lost and time is slipping away

(evan carr)
can we take a second to slow it down
before we burn this to the ground
these grains of sands are falling out and it’s over
this happens every time it’s just such a fatal flaw
can’t focus on one thing when i can feel it coming up
same thing new year
i’m stuck in fear
there’s nothing here

(evan carus & decks)
grains of sand slipping away
we walk in darkness, lose the path
hand in hand we’re lead astray
time falls from our hourglass

i’ve been losing everyone
fell asleep and summer’s gone now
im lost and time is slipping away

(all)
just tell me when you go (tell me when you go)
or promise me you’ll stay (promise me you’ll stay)
i’ve been losing everyone
(just tell me when you go)
fell asleep and summer’s gone but
(or promise me you’ll…)
no matter what i promise to stayyy

(evan carus & decks)
grains of sand slipping away
we walk in darkness, lose the path
hand in hand we’re lead astray
time falls from our hourglass

i’ve been losing everyone
fell asleep and summer’s gone now
im lost and time is slipping away

hourglass (feat. evan carr & evan carus) [polar x iof]

spotify!

lyrics:

i feel the weight
on top of my chest
im laughing at the ceiling
soon i'll get to rest
im better off dead
ima waste of a human
talk loudly
i can't hear you
im bound by things
that im scared to
face
no i'll never get away
i hate 

im slowly
slowly
losing time
im so damn sorry
that im sick of life
and please dont ask me
if im alright
i got nothing left
to sacrifice

i think im really too insecure
gonna push you all away
so i dont make it any harder
you'll do fine anyway
and i know that to be true
we all wanna be special
but im afraid that im mental
and i'll lose it all
i watched both of you scream
and fight it out
and now you both expect me
to figure it out

things in my chest

things in my chest.

Lyrics:

[hook]
I'm so afraid to fall in love
I'm so afraid to stay alone
Feeling like nothing matters
Feeling like nobody cares
Feels like life won't be better
This is my life anyway

[verse]
This is my life anyway
Don't ask me how I'm feeling
When everyday is the same
You can not tell the difference
between morning and evening
This dream is turning into a nightmare
And I can't stand that

[hook]
I'm so afraid to fall in love
I'm so afraid to stay alone
Feeling like nothing matters
Feeling like nobody cares
Feels like life won't be better
This is my life anyway

This Is My Life Anyway [prod. rinne]

one take - pieces of you - nothing,nowhere

karma ( prod. Dead Spyro )

visual on youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXDkw6GakQ8&ab_channel=ghosthands

SPOTIFY + APPLE

this isn't happening

nothing,nowhere. - LOVE::LOSS (unreleased)

lyrics

i just want to sit in my room and listen
to all the music that we did when we were younger
i know that times have changed
if every seconds a wave then everyday im going under

shame on me
for never opening up my door
blame it all on me

what difference will it make baby nothing at all so
i will be right here letting it all go
wait till you see me you wont recognize me
the life that im leading it helps if youre hiding

surrenderdorothy - nohardfeelings

prod @prodreaper

lyrics:

and i don't really want no new friends
all of you are fake and pretend
selling off the fake sadness 
while you're smiling, counting money from the reposts
but that's fine, that's fine

but you're not really sad at night 
you're just laying in your bedroom
while i'm staring at the ceiling, crying 
i'm always crying 
cause i'm just scared of everything that's coming

and i don't really want no new friends
all of you fake and pretend 
selling off the fake sadness
while you're smiling 
counting money from the reposts 
but that's fine, that's fine

heartless, pretend 
no heart, disguised in your lies 
you don't really care 
you don't really care

no heart (prod. reaper)

Follow  $orrow!  - https://soundcloud.com/sorrow_bringer

My Somewhat CD:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T207BuC5gP8&t=361s

Art By Esau Andrews

LYRICS:

Check my pils bottles now they hollow I ain’t no damn Role model 
Not the one to follow with s heart so full of sorrow I know
That I should really just go 
Leave this world on my own 
Find a new place to call home 
Where I don’t feel so alone

Where the hell am I I been driving all Fucking night I don’t know 
Surrounded by phony homies claiming they know me but they don’t 
If you wanna see the real me just pop in my somewhat cd get lost in the memories and say hey if you see me,  whoa
I don’t want to wait for the pain end 
No heavens gates are gonna let me in
At least in hell I’ll see my friends 
I’m 22 might be the last one dead

This is for the mothefucking letdowns like me, 
Only feel a little joy when we bleed
Never feeling alright no reprieve 
All they wanna do is die on tv
To be infamous is my bliss 21st century sid vicious till I kill my bitch and then slit my wrist just to make history 

If you want to find me you can check my bedroom
Sleeping life away all I do 
Just So I can avoid all of you 
Don’t motherucking tell me what I can’t do 
I don’t want to work I just want to go Bezerk on the beat  and make all these hits 
Never die alone in an old folks home thinking how’d I end up like this?

WHOA OH OHHHHHHHH

Get Lost In The Tall Grass [Prod. sorrow bringer]

the homie @guccihighwaters

lyrics

(gucci)
I build static
I go crazy
Can't put it out if it doesn't sound amazing
and life's too fast baby hold me till it's over
tell me that you love me maybe once when you're sober
Don't wanna die as a memory
I can't leave without my legacy
Leave love letters lying on my tombstone
death is only physical I'd like to have a new home

Anxiety make my body go numb now
I sleep early withdraw on the comedown 
when I was younger it left me in hunger
but now I'm older 
desire to be under x2

(softheart)
you dont even care like you used to 
you aint even there like you used to be
hard like the usual 
you just give me stares like you're used to me

anxious probably up late
tryna hide my face
tryna bring it back
i was thinking that
life is always moving so fast
before you knew it had passed
doing better still bad

i guess im just scared it wont come
true so i dont think it
i swear its so lonely when its snowing
in new england
thought you called me it was just a 
dream was just a figment
of back when you would hold me 
like the only thing you need is
me 
is me 
is me
hate me you hate me so bad
its over hard to stay sober 
as i get older just grow colder
weed make it okay so i stay stoned
just like a boulder

chorus

anxiety (feat. guccihighwaters)

Two paths diverge
I take the less traveled
My life’s submerged
It’s coming unraveled

Baby why you look so blue
No changing all the parts of you
Hearts broken? I’ll buy one new
Nothing for you I wouldn’t do

You ain’t gotta feel so blue
I can make you feel brand new
Make love all night with you
Without you


Don’t want to breathe
Without you
Don’t want to see
Without you
Do you feel 
The same as me?


The bad path I chose
Left me stranded alone
But I never answer
When you hit my phone


Oh yeah, fight through it
All, all that I do is
Not enough for you
It’s not enough

Two paths diverge
I take the less traveled
My life’s submerged
It’s coming unraveled

Baby why you look so blue
No changing all the parts of you
Hearts broken? I’ll buy one new
Nothing for you I wouldn’t do

follow fiftysix

unraveled - ft. guccihighwaters (prod. fiftysix)

OUT ON SPOTIFY

dead and gone w/ sleye (prod. metlast)

I thought she gave me the key to her farts but it was just another shart
written by: nathan flygare, ethan o'brien, & peyton day

Key Bump Love feat. EmoFlyTrap, GRIMYBOI, & Safehold (prod. 102 Eyes)

everything really hurts 




lyrics : 





i’d do anything to get out of this mindset
get out of this fucked head
make myself alive

i wish i could make u feel better 
than you do girl 
i just want to make you feel like you can smile 

i been getting too high 
tryna reach the same one i did 
when i met u for the first time 

memories they pass by
just like the wind in the night time
when you can’t sleep cause u keep crying 

broken from the inside
i see pain in your eyes

will we always be this cold
i don’t know
i want to go home

🖤

nihil