heartless

Top 50 songs of the year

TimxPlxylxst

Sorc'd Set (11/20/21)

Napalm Set (2/25/22)

Dry Cleaners Set (3/15/22)

Mid-Wilshire Skate Shop Set (3/18/22)

Hatch Workshop Set (4/28/22)

Lil Peep Only

ft @fountainhead777
mastered by me
mixed by me + fountainhead + me adding effects to fountainheads vox
Shawty in my dms every season
Every single day has been feeling like the weekend
I've been trying to be happy fighting off my demons
My no reason to live has just turned into some reasons
I don't give a fuck long as it's myself I'm pleasing
You never wanna know how fast my heart is beating
Don't care what I'm saying, but you're the one that was reading
2021 I just hope this year can meet it

Will it meet my expectations
Last year was so frustrating
I thought it would be my year
But I was left in tears
I can't be a disappointment
But at least I'm not to myself
And I know I may have failed
Thats ok I'm doing well
And those past feelings that were felt
Cuz I don't need em now
And you only hear the sound
Of succeeding with my patience
It may take some time 
But I know that eventually everything will be fine
I know that there are some days that I'll be feeling off
But that's okay cuz I know you all do that a lot



I just robbed a cop 
I'm faded while you're not 
I know that you're an opp
Snuff you out like a moth
In truth I'm always fucked up 
I have faith in my mind's eye (don't care)
She ask me if I'm high 
She can't tell the fucking difference

Shawty causing dissonance 
And I've been having visions of 
Some people causing friction 
Benediction through my prison
I just got her call
they don't want you known
leave you alone
Tell you what I'm on

Shawty in my dms every season
Every single day has been feeling like the weekend
I've been trying to be happy fighting off my demons
My no reason to live has just turned into some reasons
I don't give a fuck long as it's myself I'm pleasing
You never wanna know how fast my heart is beating
Don't care what I'm saying, but you're the one that was reading
2021 I just hope this year can meet it

Spotify!

2021! / Shawty In My Dms (Roko Tensei, Silo)

lyrics:

Just holidays
And barely those holidays
Our good terms
Are not immune to decay 
I tried but im still away
And you’ve been fucking his brains out 
Don’t look at me as if there was a sorry to say

I would care but
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off 
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off
As the bodies grow dry
And I bleed from my eyes
From some shit I shoulda never saw
I don’t need a life line
I don’t need a good night
I just drink until I shut it off

 Ive never met someone so geared on my failure good job
At least I squeezed some meaning into ur shitty life huh
When I die an early death I hope that u can cope when the hatred in ur heart is now evicted with my pulse

Break the home
Breaks my bones and see my soul snapped too
Im alone most the time ur not restricting anything new
I like getting scary I do I know ur tryna be a boss good for u
What the fuck they turn me down for
 I am never going out more
I guess he wasn’t a regular guy
I hope u choke on ur vomit and die
My messages aids I do not open them
Im high as fuck from this bud its like opium
I don’t wanna live to get by
Ur literally here once and its over after that u fucking idiot do what u want ur done after this u fucking dumb ass u suck I fucking hate u
 
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off 
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off
As the bodies grow dry
And I bleed from my eyes
From some shit I shoulda never saw
I don’t need a life line
I don’t need a good night
I just drink until I shut it off

Im torn apart and I am dirty
If its like this fuck 30
I wanna die right now
Baby im sorry im fucked I can’t talk right now
She lies
She just loves him to death
I dont compare to that hex
I suck the tits off her chest
Times waits
For nobody
Crossed lines
Become common knowledge
Bullshit u were with friends that’s bullshit
I was the culprit before
I feel projection in my point of view
  
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off 
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off
As the bodies grow dry
And I bleed from my eyes
From some shit I shoulda never saw
I don’t need a life line
I don’t need a good night
I just drink until I shut it off

better_off_nUmb (splashgvng)

@akiradoves
@ohmgkarma aka @ilykarma
@yungkaori
artwork provided by @user-729386150

Come up with words like an essay
You know I got her room messy
And these bitches looking blasé
And she gon do it in a chevy

Have my kids hold my wrist to where I can't feel anything
Moshpit hold my fist so I won't drop my wedding ring
I persist you get the gist I'm going hard like every day
Call the past I reminisced put it right into my grave

And I've been wanting to do this but I need quiet to prove it
I can do this type of music
I'm trying everything I can to take it to other levels
Kaori on instrumental long with the only abysmal and I'm like

Get my blade back cut em up I strike back
You try to run kill this bitch cuz she's a cunt
Ok I'm kinda tweaking out ok I shout shut up bitch!
Ok I never understood a thing she said to my face
Okay, okay, okay! Ah!
Get my blade back cut em up I strike back
Demons in my head in disguise I can't rest
I'm done with everything slit my wrist
I'm a bitch I don't care what you think about me
Shut the fuck up please don't talk about me
And please don't go, berserk!
Don't go! Don't go! Don't go! Ooooo!
I persist you get the gist I'm going hard like every day (yeah)

Walk, wok, walk
Im'a walk in I got wok in
Bitch we run it
Im'a walk in I got wok in
Bitch we run it, bitch we run it
I could never tell a hoe that I'm sorry no
I could never tell a hoe that I'm sorry no
She all on my cock cus I'm way too cocky (woah)
Head all in the water sip elixer with my posse
When we on the block we run that shit like cardio
I'm on top bitch if he on my (on my) dick
Then he talk shit I beat him in the mosh pit
Heard he talkin shit bout Josh he on some opp shit
That bitch gimme neck like ostrich now she lying on my cock
Told Josh to pop out in LA he just bought his first glock

LIVE PERFORMANCE

ESSAY w/ AKIRADOVES & ILYKARMA [YUNG KAORI + ABYSMAL]

prod. @ohhellonokia

this time i'll do it right
this time i'll make it fine
trying to excel yeah you know i gotta try
it's hard to tell the truth cuz i know you and your lies

this time i'll do it right
this time i'll make it fine
trying to excel yeah you know i gotta try
it's hard to tell the truth cuz i know you and your lies

This time i wanna do this right
This time, i don’t wanna fight
This time, i won’t say goodbye
This time, ill be alright,

I never wanted it to end up this way
so i gotta go ahead and take a detour
but i didn’t expect for it to stay
so im staying all alone like i am eeyore

this time i'll do it right
this time i'll make it fine
trying to excel yeah you know i gotta try
it's hard to tell the truth cuz i know you and your lies

this time i'll do it right
this time i'll make it fine
trying to excel yeah you know i gotta try
it's hard to tell the truth cuz i know you and your lies

this time

this time w/ nokia2k

@dercept & @prodmichael
I wanna see ppl throw hands 2 this song live


Left behind for the vultures you know this hurts
Limb by limb i'll disappear it's over
Morality is lost the cost of closure
Throwing cheap blows i'll return them ten-fold

Hands up, broken jaw sucker punch
Bitch let's dance, don't get cut
Got glass shards up on my tongue, kiss of death she makes me numb
Broken promise oh my god
If I'm happy what's the cost?

Living in constant pain, watching you rot away
The quicker I start to cave, watching your flesh decay
Yea I really loved you, could you ever even say the same?

Pulling teeth everytime we speak
Scattered thoughts are frequent, never think
Lost a part of me, noose been on the tree
Leaves are falling green
Wonder if you'd still fall for me?
Fall for me

Yea you always said that it would all be me
Barbed wire around your neck hear the blood gurgle through the screams
Say you been down bitch i'll show you what true pain means

Hands up, broken jaw sucker punch
Bitch let's dance, don't get cut
Got glass shards up on my tongue, kiss of death she makes me numb
Broken promise oh my god
If I'm happy what's the cost?

Living in constant pain, watching you rot away
The quicker I start to cave, watching your flesh decay
Yea I really loved you, could you ever even say the same?
Say the same

spotify link<3

fleshh (dercept x michaelwarren)

lyrics:

I got ur face on my arm in ink
And just like the real thing it brought me pain
And just like the real thing I feel the eyes blink
between these bruises I made the cheeks pink

Before these French 75’s
I was i was doing fine
With liquor red eyes
I wish I had stayed inside tonight
She like u dont know how to party
How u done when the night just started
Rose for the broken hearted
One shot and the shits restarted
This night is the start of an era
Rolling up aloe vera
Low eyes under white mascara
Baby I can read ur mind
Smoke blow thru my drive
Kush clouds realign my spine
I think I secure my shine
I will see it thru this time

I got ur face on my arm in ink
And just like the real thing it brought me pain
And just like the real thing I feel the eyes blink
between these bruises I made the cheeks pink
 cause out in those woods I was terrified
But some how I will make it home alive tonight
And some how she’ll be warm inside this winter white town
And ill be tucked away up on this satellite

I got ur face on my arm in ink
And just like the real thing it brought me pain
And just like the real thing I feel the eyes blink
between these bruises I made the cheeks pink

And I made a promise for me to uphold
But late night in this bed without you tends to get cold
And I know think about the the way it torched
But I promise there was nothing in there for u anymore
I got ur face on my arm in ink
And just like the real thing it brought me pain
And just like the real thing I feel the eyes blink
between these bruises I made the cheeks pink
These Tattoos cover up all of my insecurities
 Im left without my faith when she cant tell me what to believe
But I will find a way like I always do
And Despite my brain my life moves on without word from you

I got ur face on my arm in ink
And just like the real thing it brought me pain
And just like the real thing I feel the eyes blink
between these bruises I made the cheeks pink

ink (jabarionthebeat x vvsmelody)

feat https://soundcloud.com/akiradoves

Looking at the sunset
Are you feeling upset?
I hope you won't forget
Hope you won't ignore this
Hanging on the door hinge
Hoping you will let me in
I need all your oxygen
I can't breathe without it
Do you really like me?
I know you wouldn't doubt it
Am I your guy? I might be
Let's prove it with an outing
Will you ever find me?
I'm in the water drowning
Of tears from the past tense
Hoping I won't go again

My eyes feel like blurry lens
Should I just put down my pen
Looking at the message that you sent
Wonder if I should've went, feelings that I should've kept
Cuz I can't make decisions I always make predictions
I do it thru a diction, is this just addiction?
I am on a mission hoping that one day you'll come back and listen
Your eyes will always shine and glisten
Always in my dreams, they're most innocent but evil
Craziest I've ever seen, that you'd think I'm off a bean
I wish you know what you mean you mean everything to me

Looking at the sunset
Are you feeling upset?
I hope you won't forget
Hope you won't ignore this
Hanging on the door hinge
Hoping you will let me in
I need all your oxygen
I can't breathe without it
Do you really like me?
I know you wouldn't doubt it
Am I your guy? I might be
Let's prove it with an outing
Will you ever find me?
I'm in the water drowning
Of tears from the past tense
Hoping I won't go again

Hoping I won't go to bed, hoping I will never rest
Hoping this will never end
Hoping for more, hoping more
Holding me more, hold me more
Don't stop, I promise i'll be there
You're gone, why'd you have to go away
It's almost like a tragic story
It's almost like that you don't know me

Looking at the sunset
Are you feeling upset?
I hope you won't forget
Hope you won't ignore this
Hanging on the door hinge
Hoping you will let me in
I need all your oxygen
I can't breathe without it
Do you really like me?
I know you wouldn't doubt it
Am I your guy? I might be
Let's prove it with an outing
Will you ever find me?
I'm in the water drowning
Of tears from the past tense
Hoping I won't go again

Visualizer

oxygen w/ akiradoves

prod https://soundcloud.com/wheelprod
og version: https://soundcloud.com/j0shiguess/attachment-issues

Do I want to stay, or should I go away
Should I leave the world or have this risk to take,
Will it turn out worse or will it be so great,
Still I gotta try to accept my fate 

Only had to try this 2 times like I'm nate, 
But there's days that I feel I can't escape,
Stuck with you forever but I can't complain,
This feeling you give me  driving me insane,


Loving it, McDonald's, High pitched voice like Carl, 
hate on me I snarl, sun comes out like Charles,
 ride or die for me,  rise and shine for me
 but she been wanting drugs so she might die on me,
(you know I really don't want that to happen please don't take that serious i swear to god)

 she told me she promised not to lie to me, 
how am I still going, I always agree
Will this help in life or will I not succeed,
I'm already failing, hope I get degree


I just feel attached, she snatched my heart from me, benefits or issues tell apart for me, how do I continue she so far from me, 
always rejecting others that live close to me,

Do I want to stay, or should I go away
Should I leave the world or have this risk to take,
Will it turn out worse or will it be so great,
Still I gotta try to accept my fate
to accept my fate to accept my fate to accept my fate
she my one and only,
promised this forever, but it's going slowly, 
I hate being so she the one for me,
I hate having issues but they strengthen me

attachment issues (wheel)

https://open.spotify.com/track/16P6LUizwcq5BGOb6XTNTv?si=9cd11134c0594c04

produced by @jolst
featuring @cherryrizla

lyrics:

@lottaheart:
i try to be the best for you but thats hard
try to be close to you but so far
when i feel the best; you're wrapped in my arms
look into my chest and see there's no heart

@chxrryrxzla:
im tryna be what you're really needing
you dont ever tell me how you're feeling 
only time time you're not on my mind, im sleeping
am i the one you call when you need healing?

calling, and im asking
but i cant judge ur reaction
im just tryna be close like a magnet
look into my chest and ins fragments

(insert twilight quote here)

@lottaheart:
i try to be the best for you but thats hard
try to be close to you but so far
when i feel the best; you're wrapped in my arms
look into my chest and see there's no heart

best4u w/ cherryrizla [jolst]

https://soundcloud.com/joshigues/vacation-nightcore-jxsie-beats

I've been trying my best, but I can't take it
She's been wanting the rest, while she is taken
She's been loving me less, she seems to hate it
Why don't she just take a vacation

She only love me when on anti-depressants
When she's off of them I can't get her attention
Her minds been going in every direction
But you know I can't follow directions
Cause anywhere I go
Can't make it back home
To the place I used to call
Everything and all

Feeling like I'm Autumn now, faded into fall
And I'm feeling like I'm Casperrr, now that I'm a ghost
And I'm feeling like Eternal
Cause I want you to say hello

I've been trying my best, but I can't take it
She's been wanting the rest, while she is taken
She's been loving me less, she seems to hate it
Why don't she just take a vacation

She thinks I'm falling out of love, but I'm just falling out of trust
She thinks it's falling into dust, I wish you knew I give a fuck
Ex-friends coming up to me I know they always fuss
Wanna turn 'em into goldfish, so I can name 'em Hush
Maybe then that'll be the time that they could shut up
I just know I had enough, and know that you have had enough
We can never get enough
In this thing called love

I've been trying my best, but I can't take it
She's been wanting the rest, while she is taken
She's been loving me less, she seems to hate it
Why don't she just take a vacation

visualizer

vacation (jxsie beats)

afterlife
- https://linktr.ee/prod.afterlife

jolst 
- https://instagram.com/prodjolst
- https://youtube.com/c/jolst

Lyrics:
@joshiguess
I've been lost in the river spirits,
they calling me in yeah you know I can hear it
i swim in motion thru these emotions,
better not put me in a potion 

I've been lost in the river spirits,
they calling me in yeah you know I can hear it
swim in motion thru these emotions,
better not put me in a potion 

I called her to the dance, but she left me in a trance, she's not just a fan, want me to be her man, don't know if i can, i just might be banned, i sent her home with a stain on her pants

Falling in love, or am I aromatic, I can't ever trust, a loner or myself, I really need help, is life really worth it, the time will tell, but I don't think that I deserve this, 

my ex friends think it's urgent, that my only purpose, is to ruin their own living, they really got me tripping, cuz that's what they do, they avoid the truth rather see me in a noose, they just wanna see me blue

Can't decide I'm alright, they decline, I ask em why
Can't decide I'm alright, they decline, I ask em why

I've been lost in the river spirits,
they calling me in yeah you know I can hear it
i swim in motion thru these emotions,
better not put me in a potion 

@akiradoves
hurt me now 
hurt my emotions
give me now
give me your potion
and you're far away from me
leave me there running in the street
hurt me now 
hurt my emotions
give me now
give me your potion
leave me there right on the floor
you're gone

@cypression
when you left it took a piece of me
 i gave everything and you left me here to bleed
 i tried my hardest to make you stay 
but i guess it never mattered at the end of the day
(oooooooooooo--- woah-----)

@joshiguess : Can't decide I'm alright, they decline, I ask em why

spotify

river spirits w/ akiradoves & cypression (afterlife x jolst)

lyrics:

Huh Im pouring out this bottle till I feeling myself
Bruises on my chest from the last night out
Cuts on my thighs from my own damn self
The hardest part of it all is admitting that u need help
They see me on live
They feel me on live
But I was so drunk
But I was so high
This 55 inch emulate the coast line
While I record pain yea I expose mine

Though its not easy its not that easy but it works
U could tell im fighting shit and honestly it hurts
I throw my heart outside my window and go berserk
Just know the doom I make u feel I felt it first
Oh Amanda I was broken before I knew u and u helped me
The hardest is tryna prove to loved ones that u healthy
With snot pouring out my nose and half my liver virtually melting
Ur voice sounds nice but I dont listen to what u tell me

Hear my words and find peace in our anger
Its funny how after all of this time im now a stranger
The second I lost u I feel life grew so much bleaker
Now the way ur so appalled by my smile I feel like a creature to u 
If I do not awaken
Lay me down gently
Please do not protect me
The ghouls that dissect me
And I know I hide my emotions
But its in the benefit of enjoying the moment ya
I dont get along with no one this easy
So Tell me ur motive before I fall in love

Though its not easy its not that easy but it works
U could tell im fighting shit and honestly it hurts
I throw my heart outside my window and go berserk
Just know the doom I make u feel I felt it first
Oh Amanda I was broken before I knew u and u helped me
The hardest is tryna prove to loved ones that u healthy
With snot pouring out my nose and half my liver virtually melting
Ur voice sounds nice but I dont listen to what u tell me

BERSERKER (ERIC GODLOW)

produced by @taurs + @splashgvng

follow my socials!
instagram.com/lottaheart_
twitter.com/lottaheart_

lyrics:

-
bitch u thought

ice in my veins [taurs + splashgvng]

lyrics:

Sleeping beauty don’t wake yet
Cause The world won’t accept you yet
Take your time you will heal thru rest
And ill be here when u take those breaths
And ill be here up until ur last
The futures stone how we etched our past together
I could cry but ill save my breath
Cause when I fell it was by her hand

She Just like me uh uh
What a plight uh uh
Its already so hard to Like me
Oh it is
She Just like me uh uh
What a plight uh uh
Its already so hard to Like me

Sleeping beauty don’t wake yet
Cause The world won’t accept you yet
Take your time you will heal thru rest
And ill be here when u take those breaths
Woah huh ok
Maybe I would sleep better If I dont drink
I could see shapes laying frozen awake
Could u teach me how ur mind so blank
Why would I love when its taken away
Why would I fight if I could die any day
I could take vitamins and go lift weights just to walk out the gym and feed a car to my face
Maybe I like what u do to me cause I feel least she pick me to be hurting again
Give it a week and she come back around just to give me this feeling of purpose again
Maybe id follow my heart for a change if I really believed it was worth it again
But honestly I think its better to wait for the moment ur ready and certain of it

Sleeping beauty don’t wake yet
Cause The world won’t accept you yet
Take your time you will heal thru rest
And ill be here when u take those breaths
And ill be here up until ur last
The futures stone how we etched our past together
I could cry but ill save my breath
Cause when I fell it was by her hand

SLEEPING BEAUTY (NEVRFALL X BRANWEN)

She want me when she with another guy
He ain't gonna like it when I go between her thighs
We smoke another blunt and then we gettin way too high
Still dreaming about her and I still wonder why

Want me to hit you up but when I do you don't reply
Unless it's on your neck baby promise I won't bite
You know she want the addy but I hit her with the psych
Cuz I know when she back home another dm she will slide
Trying to expose me I can literally just hide
Cuz I'm not dealing with any other fake people in my life
Wanna do this on my own so I won't take your advice 
You know you can't always get away with being so nice

Got trust issues, say I won't miss you
Then I get the tissue, she off the mildew
And I can't control what she won't and she will do
So you're in the moment then you take it too far
And I know you got all these scars
Gotta stitch when I do my part
But continuing is hard
When I feel like I'm falling apart

And I know you got all these scars
Gotta stitch when I do my part
But continuing is hard
When I feel like I'm falling apart

She want me when she with another guy
He ain't gonna like it when I go between her thighs
We smoke another blunt and then we gettin way too high
Still dreaming about her and I still wonder why

Want me to hit you up but when I do you don't reply
Unless it's on your neck baby promise I won't bite
You know she want the addy but I hit her with the psych
Cuz I know when she back home another dm she will slide
Trying to expose me I can literally just hide
Cuz I'm not dealing with any other fake people in my life
Wanna do this on my own so I won't take your advice 
You know you can't always get away with being so nice

trust issues (love race x paulfix)

Dedicated to @akiradoves

Days feel like a waste
Stab my back with a blade
What the fuck did I do
Took my name off your phone
Tell me if you did
Tell me is it real 
I don't even care
About my fucking self

You won't hit my phone anymore
She just chooses to ignore
Every day I feel so bored
Need someone to comfort me
Making new discoveries
Listening to mp3s
While we're playing ps3s
You know she is on her knees

Clouds that I face
Feeling small like a dace
Wishing I could embrace
Tie me up like a lace
Never winning in this race
While you're picking up the pace
Knowing days feel like a waste
Content locked like EA

Days feel like a waste
Stab my back with a blade
What the fuck did I do
Took my name off your phone
Tell me if you did
Tell me is it real 
I don't even care
About my fucking self

You won't hit my phone anymore
She just chooses to ignore
Every day I feel so bored
Need someone to comfort me
Making new discoveries
Listening to mp3s
While we're playing ps3s
You know she is on her knees

Konami to cheat on me
Take you to Shinigamis
The death gods in Japanese
Now you beg back for me, please

Days feel like a waste
Stab my back with a blade
What the fuck did I do
Took my name off your phone
Tell me if you did
Tell me is it real 
I don't even care
About my fucking self
prod @jxsiebeats

waste (jxsie beats)

I'm alone when I see the stars
Watch the moon while it gets dark
I'm alone when I see the stars
Watch the moon while it gets dark

You've been walking round with tired eyes
Make yourself chastise
Wish we compromised
You never show you're always in disguise
No I won't survive
Wish I was still your guy
Take me back to '04 in July
So I can revise
And restart my life
I feel like a puddle when it dries
Cuz I feel dead inside
I know it's my demise

I'm alone when I see the stars
Watch the moon while it gets dark

Remember days you spent at all these parks
Now you've lost your spark
Feels like a broken heart
I remember when I left my mark
Now she's at the bar
Well my bar is low
Feels like it's going slow
Like I'm low battery
My life is congested like it's fucking allergies
 At least I still got that light that i will always believe
 And I know that many lost it and they started smoking trees

I'm alone when I see the stars
Watch the moon while it gets dark
I'm alone when I see the stars
Watch the moon while it gets dark

july (jxsie beats)

I've had these accomplishments
Appreciate these compliments
Writing in these documents
No longer lacking confidence
Rest in piece to Oddg6d, Trent
We never met, but to my friends
You were so close and were so dear
I live this life a bit in fear

This can be over any time, I make the most of it
I really don't just on my laptop in my house and sit
Maybe I should go out even just for little bits
But it sucks when you can't even go to see more live music

Wish I felt free 
Maybe in 2023

I've had these accomplishments
Appreciate these compliments
Writing in these documents
No longer lacking confidence
Rest in piece to Oddg6d Trent
We never met, but to my friends
You were so close and were so dear
I live this life a bit in fear

Only feel alive when I'm on the stage
She fills the air with scent of sage
Me and you on the same page
But we're in a different paragraph
Different places on the map
Will you ever fill that gap
I feel like I'll just extract
More from my life and that's a fact
prod @jxsiebeats

rip (jxsie beats)

mixed/mastered by me
prod by @st1x51

Lyrics:
it's a bad sign of a bad time
it's that one kind thats in your mind
stars won't align like a retrograde
gives me this feeling that i cant ever escape

when you hit me up it's like a bookmark
 leave you alone then i go back to restart
now you in the back of the seating chart
need to pay a toll whenever you're the one to park
you show no remorse

you're envisioning my corpse
if i'm not interested i'll cite another source
feel like i'm playing sports
always a competition
 not easy living
 this life being a musician
 cast a spell i'm a magician
i just wait on this transition

(like just worry about your own life what is mine to you?)

it's a bad sign of a bad time
it's that one kind thats in your mind
stars won't align like a retrograde
gives me this feeling that i cant ever escape

i can't hang around these people
when they acting way too evil
i'm just stuck at home 
while my friends are hanging at the regal
gonna see the view of the ocean like a seagull
i'm consuming water you're consuming what's illegal

bad sign, bad time (st1x51)

"convince myself" is a track released by joshiguess only on soundcloud as of speaking. this song along with a few others were changed when josh got more confident in his voice and mix on these songs. For a while there were a few things Josh didn't like about the original and thought this version was more of a head banger and fixed the mixes flaws. While that still applies in some way, he prefers the original speed nowadays due to its emotion and just overall feeling.

convince myself [nxname] (pitched ver.)

produced by Инеон https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuANCjKYkN8pD_xXkNYtOuQ/videos

feature https://soundcloud.com/dreamworldtony
mixed by me and tony
mastered by https://soundcloud.com/akiradoves

lyrics:
Feeling like I'm sonic I be speeding down the highway 
Shawty bad after class taking her to my place 
Saying I am trash well to me that's just a hot take
When our lips touch, she's like syrup on some hotcakes

No way, no way
 dream in the color, like he's cordae
I'm not nahmir I'm not fucking on a soul train,
She tryna come back but I'm outside of her whole lane

I've been up tonight staying recording 
High up in the sky feel like I am soaring 
Wonder what to do to make my life not boring 
Spent a few days w headwaters touring
I've been up tonight staying recording 
High up in the sky feel like I am soaring 
Wonder what to do to make my life not boring 
Spent a few days on tour with tony

(Dreamworld Tony)
Drive it like a rental car but it’s a foreign 
Hate my boring life up North I’d rather be touring 
Taking shots at the venue with a shorty 
It they pulling up with drama We ignore it 
Woke up in the car - feel like Aaron Carter 
Driving like a hundred hours yeah we just go harder 
Bitch we fast going up, got our foot in the door 
Fuck a hometown show and do a west coast tour
My beats from Ukraine 
My car stay German though 
I feel like midnight club the way my team go
Shout out to Josh's dad yeah he a real one 
California kush got me feeling like a demon
I feel like Knuckles, fuck Eggman
I’m staying up all night doing what I can

(JoshIGuess)
No way, no way
 dream in the color, like he's cordae
I'm not nahmir I'm not fucking on a soul train,
She tryna come back but I'm outside of her whole lane

Spotify

California w/ Dreamworld Tony (Инеон)

Tell me that I'm safe
This is where I wanna stay
Cause when I'm in your arms
All my problems go away
Don't know what to say
It's like my memories erased
Light another blunt
And imma take it to the face
Girl I know that I'm a waste
I'm just something in the way
I will never fit in
It's just something in my brain
Smoke away the memories
And trip away the pain
Acid in the castle
Got it dripping
Like the rain

Crying on the phone again
I'm alone again
All the walls are closing in
Thought you were my friend
Until you stabbed my back again
Barely breathing
I don't even know what's happening
I might die tonight
Bleed out in the twilight
Scars up on my wrist
Cause I'm terrified of life
Terrified of love
Even though it is a lie
Felt my soul die
When I looked into her eyes

When I looked into her eyes
Felt my soul die
When I looked into her eyes
Terrified of life
Terrified of love

Terrified
I'm gonna die tonight
Let me lye
With you in the afterlife

Ask me if I'm fine, I don't really know
I tried to talk to you, but you said you should really go
It's been raining but I think that it's turning into snow
Maybe you should stay until I know you won't be cold
You've got blood upon your eyes
I thought you said that you weren't killing in the night
Impossible to save you if you wanna die
I couldn't help you even if you were alive

Tell me that I'm safe
This is where I wanna stay
Cause when I'm in your arms
All my problems go away
Don't know what to say
It's like my memories erased
Light another blunt
And imma take it to the face
Girl I know that I'm a waste
I'm just something in the way
I will never fit in
It's just something in my brain
Smoke away the memories
And trip away the pain
Acid in the castle
Got it dripping
Like the rain

terrified ft. yung van (prod. aidan)

From the bottom of my cold heart
You know I loved you
Put you in my past life
That's what the drugs do
Acid on a cold night
Fucking freezing
Oh my god
I'm so high
Think I'm peaking

I'm going the distance
Just gotta stay consistent
They would never listen
But now they treat me different
It's because I'm glo'd up
Gave it all my focus
You gotta work your hardest
If you want people to notice

No days off I'm never sleeping
Writing songs in my head
While I'm dreaming
All my life I'm stuck
Searching for a meaning
Wish I gave a fuck
I can't find a reason

I can't find a reason
Bitch I'm smoking trees
And I'm so clueless
Does she love me?
Or she leaving
Oh that's perfect
That's exactly what I needed
A broken heart
My soul is dark
I feel defeated

A broken heart
My soul is dark
I feel defeated

A broken heart
My soul is dark
I feel defeated

A broken heart
My soul is dark
I feel defeated

A broken heart
My soul is dark
I feel defeated

A broken heart
I'm rolling hard
In the night
And I'm looking at the stars
Took my life
And she ripped it all apart
I put it back
But you can see the scars

You can see the scars
All the pain inside my eyes
I'm just another kid
That's tortured by his mind
Thought of getting out
Like 1000 fucking times
I can barely breathe
But I just say I'm fine

I just say I'm fine
Anxiety inside
Makes it hard to sleep at night
Smoking get me right
Gets me out head
You talking shit to me
But I'm in your bitches bed
In between her legs

I be going stupid
I'm ruthless
Go behind my back
I'll leave you toothless
Leave you looking useless
Like bro what are you doing
Your whole life a lie
Say you winning but you losing

From the bottom of my cold heart
You know I loved you
Put you in my past life
That's what the drugs do
Acid on a cold night
I'm fucking freezing
Oh my god
I'm so high
I think I'm peaking

past life (prod. xtravulous)

I know she don't love me
Would never trust me

I know she don't love me
Would never trust me
Had hopeless feelings
Since I was 14
Just wanna fade out
This world is plain now
This scene is played out
It's all the same now

I hope I wash away
Bring the rain down
I'm smoking everyday
It help my brain out
Cause it's a fucking mess
Lately I'm close to death
I think I need to rest
Cause I don't feel my best
Feel pain inside my chest
It's hard to catch a breath
So I just need a sec
To keep my life intact
Sometimes I feel so lost
And I don't have a map
Don't know where I'm at
Looking for a sign
Wish I could go back
To the better times
To the better days
And the better nights
When I was just a kid
Never questioned life
What was wrong or right
Never really cared

Still don't really care
I can take you there
Welcome to my world
There's sadness in the air
Depression everywhere
Don't feel like waking up
God I fucking suck
Feel so fucking stuck
Walking through the mud
I know I'm not enough
I just wanted love
But now I have no trust
I just got the drugs
And now my feelings numb
Please don't hit me up
Im higher than the sun
I know we had our fun
But that shit's over now
Left me here to die
Looking like a clown
Left me here to die
Bleeding on the ground
But I made it out
Yeah I made it out

I know she don't love me
Would never trust me
Had hopeless feelings
Since I was 14
Just wanna fade out
This world is plain now
This scene is played out
It's all the same now

trust me (prod. blackmayo)

I wonder if they really care
Like they say they do
Bleeding in my room
I would hate me too
If I were being you
I would let me down
Stab me in the back
Leave me with a frown

Yeah I know I'm sick
And my mind is fucked
Think of giving up
Yeah my brain is done

Life is pointless
I just wanna see what's after
Close my eyes all night
I know nothing matters

I hope I don't wake up
Lately I've been dealing
With a lot of fake trust
Fuck your love and fame
I fucking hate this game
I'd rather hang myself
I'd rather hate myself

I just took a 2
Poured it in my sprite
Feeling not alive
Feeling not alright
I just bought a blade
Put it to my skin
Hear the devil call
Imma let him in

These artist talking tough
But my flow wet as fuck
To bad I wanna die
Like all the fucking time
Like all my fucking life

My ex still on my line
This is such a mess
Wish I could just feel less

That's what the drugs do
Help my brain forget
That I ever loved you

It's time to fall back
My coffin all black
What's the point of life?
I'll never solve that
I'll never solve that

Yeah Yeah 

Know I'll never solve that

frown (prod. dirty sosa)

fortnite rap battle> ian dior

waterfalls was here.

@ianndior - molly feat. bernard jabs (prod. nick mira)

produced by @yung-bleach



maybe you just liked me when i was on my ass because it made you feel better about yourself...
are you kidding?

(these thoughts in my head)
(after all that's been said)

these thoughts in my head,
i can't escape from them
after all that's been said,
she still crawls in my bed
and i feel awake again
[x3]

wish i could just put what we had to rest
you lay in my bed with your head on my chest

i'm tired of feeling worthless
don't know if i deserve this
i know i'm not perfect
but i been working
behind closed curtains
burning my burdens
tryna find purpose
come up empty handed got me feeling so nervous

and i don't wanna wait for the day that i say that i'll be okay
and i don't wanna deal with the pain that i feel in my brain i might go insane

yeah i'm fucked up and i know
i wish that i had some sort of self control
when i'm with you my heart feels like it's at home
but i know i probably should let you go, go

these thoughts in my head,
i can't escape from them
after all thats been said,
she still crawls in my bed
and i feel awake again

after all thats been said [bleach]

I got perfect timing, (I got perfect timing)
I got perfect timing (We got perfect timing)
I got perfect timing (I got perfect timing)
I got perfect timing (Yeah we got perfect timing)

You should stop from hiding, i gotta keep finding, you with all
My sightings, it struck me like lightning, am i in the rightening? or could
I be wrong, why am i still writing, for this stupid song, you should change
The lighting, if you're at the club, why do i keep on fighting, if im so in
Love, you think i am flying, cuz i am above, i got it provide it, may not
Have enough, if you see me sighing, that is just because, i am on the run
Through the world among, started a new future, new past has begun, night after the moon, days will show the sun

I got perfect timing, (I got perfect timing)
I got perfect timing (We got perfect timing)
I got perfect timing (I got perfect timing)
I got perfect timing (Yeah we got perfect timing)

Be here with the timing, never stop shining, reach that perfect
Lining, in this stupid mine, go one at a time, just need some more dimes
For some more rhymes, you should combine, all those freaking signs, stop me
From big climbs, better just ride, walk home with no pride, feeling like
Hiding, always been denied, its time to divide, time to match the ties

I got perfect timing, (I got perfect timing)
I got perfect timing (We got perfect timing)
I got perfect timing (I got perfect timing)
I got perfect timing (Yeah we got perfect timing)

(High Note): I've got perfect timing! (I've got perfect timing)
I've got perfect timing! (we got perfect timing!)
I've got perfect timing (I've got perfect timing)
Yeah we got perfect timing (Yeah we've got perfect timing!)

Athryn & JoshIGuess - Perfect Timing Original Mix (Prod. LiLJxnkins Beatz)

Lyrics:
im getting really nervous, why i keep on searching, its not really hurting,
 cannot be outside when, we're stuck between these doors and they 
decide to come
close in, only us together we're the lock above the floor and,
and i swear that, maybe its best i stay away, stay in this enclosed space,
with only you beside me, but shes staying here behind me, right behind 
that door, she'll walk inside my mind, still thinking all the time, 
why can't i just forget, what we were ever meant, cannot go outside
i cannot treat you right, at least i got another, why you're still
bothered yuh

lost the key to the lock i had, for this door between us because,
i never wanna look back at the memories of who i was, because
i never wanna look at the energy, of our toxic love, 
and i read the book, end of fantasy, we're done


it's hard to figure out, do i wanna break this door open,
now, i wanna go outside, but what will be the price,
will she steal me will she heist, will i just stay
with my wife damn

You Don't Love Me Like You Used To

you don't love me like you used to (matthew may)

stayed up all night i'm still checking my phone,
then why do you always still feel alone,
hugging my pillow cuz u are not here
you drive me crazy, but i let you steer,
i loved you much and i done made that clear,
wanted to do this for so many years,
message in bottles are filled with just smears,
cuz thats how my mind feels thinking of old peers

i've been going through a lot of nonsense
its gotten to where i feel very cautious
what'd they do with my brain yeah they washed it,
too much numbers in my head apartment complex,
and i'm just blasting off just like a rocket,
i feel like i'm playing tag just cuz i'm just not it,
and i'm washing all these thoughts just like a faucet,
so i'm the one that made em wet, just think about it,
yuh

stayed up all night i'm still checking my phone,
then why do you always still feel alone,
hugging my pillow cuz u are not here
you drive me crazy, but i let you steer,
i loved you much and i done made that clear,
wanted to do this for so many years,
message in bottles are filled with just smears,
cuz thats how my mind feels thinking of old peers

live performance <3

hugging my pillow (sleepydex)

slid in dms, i let you in, i became your medicine, i'm always the cure,
i wanted it more, i wanted it more, i wanted it more, i wanted it more i always felt a different thing,
spending time with you, i just take this time to sing, to express my feeling past and present, i worry about the future too much,
but honestly it's looking good now, couldn't feel a thing, anything but you really got me in a mood now,

gotta get through this won't complain, i'm glad about what we have today, we got a reward at stake, and we always got the goals to chase,
you know what we got to get through, in this life there is a maze, of these choices we give or take, and impress it to our amaze,

i am nervous, to serve this purpose, but it's just the way life goes now,
do i deserve this, of course it's urgent, now you know you'll never feel alone now,
i just got to take past actions with a grain of salt, 
cuz even when things were my fault, i put those things to a halt now,

and i just got to improve every day that i can, i need to prove, that i'm a man, that really cares so deeply, for his beings in his presence,
and i can be your medic, even when its hectic, i promise i won't let it,

ohhh-- ohhh--- ohhh--- ohh---

live perfomance <3

medic (kudyo)

produced by @metlast
featuring at @ihatepromnight

https://soundcloud.com/lottaheart/broken-in-two
https://soundcloud.com/ihatepromnight/restart-prodmetlast


@lottaheart:
broken in two
but i keep falling for you
that's how i know that its true
you say you want me
i want you too

baby come with me
just take my hand
i can tell you really wanna dance
if only you could give me one more chance
cause you're the only one that understands me

as long as i have you i dont need no plan b
tell you i want you and you say that you want me
hold you so close when i'm feeling lonely
you're so sweet baby you remind me of candy

so sweet
you're so sweet whenever you're around
i want you to hold me down



@ihatepromnight:
yeah i'm back where i started
back to being broken hearted
never gave a fuck about myself
you think by now that i would try to find some help

self destructive-
type of person
my demons chase me,
they fucking lurking
i'm sick and tired-
of fucking hurting
will i ever be better than a burden?

yeah i'm back where i started
back to being broken hearted
never gave a fuck about myself
you think by now that i would try to find some help

broken in two + restart (ft. promnight) [metlast]

https://open.spotify.com/track/2i9bDrY9IhCbvcDgyb8neq

produced by @splashgvng
featuring @datastarr

lyrics:

[@lottaheart]
i got issues
don't want to admit that i miss you
every time you leave it's like a pistol's,
pressed against my head until i'm with you

you got issues
i know that you're broken, i can fix you
you don't think it's true, try to convince you
every time you cry be there to kiss you
i'll be your tissue

[@datastarr]
i don't care
i was hurting, i was burning
you were there
light a match
watch me bleed out
fill your head with empty threats
and words that never left my mouth
know i never ask for help
but that's why i might break
fuck sake
see it clear, carrot cake
one shot, one take
bet it all at high stakes
chasing dollars, chasing thrills
why smoke? know it kills
wanna castle on a hill

[@lottaheart]
i got issues
don't want to admit that i miss you
every time you leave it's like a pistol's,
pressed against my head until i'm with you

you got issues
i know that you're broken, i can fix you
you don't think it's true, try to convince you
every time you cry be there to kiss you
i'll be your tissue

issues w/ data star [splashgvng]

new album out now
tour tickets: https://ffm.bio/joshiguess