found u from my soundcloud weekly and gosh im in love

holy this is 4 years old already. where did the time go

So what if I leave you 
Still stuck in my head cause I need you
I hated the sequel I wonder if I didn’t call would I see you
So whyd she go and lie to me
I keep my head down I’m running from what’s inside of me 
And I can love you but honestly my anxiety 
I’m cutting wrists to avoid that there’s nothing of me

So, go
I don’t wanna be here I’m alone
Cut me hold the knife up to my throat
Twist it then you pull it from my bone
Puppet when ur putting on a show

I don’t wanna be here I’m alone
Cut me hold the knife up to my throat
Twist it then you pull it from my bone
Puppet when ur putting on a show

And I can give you everything you ask of me 
It’s not blasphemy 
You don’t have to leave
I’m a tragedy
It’s always one after the other, never after me

So, go
I don’t wanna be here I’m alone
Cut me hold the knife up to my throat
Twist it then you pull it from my bone
Puppet when ur putting on a show

And I can give you everything you ask of me 
It’s not blasphemy 
You don’t have to leave
I’m a tragedy
It’s always one after the other, never after me

So, go
Leave me in the bottom of a hole
Staring down a barrel with my soul at stake
I wanna fade away
I wanna die today
I tried yesterday

So, go
I don’t wanna be here I’m alone
Cut me hold the knife up to my throat
Twist it then you pull it from my bone
Puppet when ur putting on a show

So, Go (prod. jolst)

1st @strivemusicau | 2nd @kuriositylol | 3rd @noxious-nights | 4th @autumndropsdead | 5th @user-411557229 |

(strivesad.)
yeah i won't play nice
am i doing this right
i'll confine
in my sadness tonight
and i'll never say goodbye
to torture my mind
turn this darkness to light
gotta fight for my life (ooh)

(kuriosity)
lately ive been nauseous
cant eat right
ive been throwing up
smoke a L so i can eat
i put my feelings in the trunk
smoke till i cant see
drink till im throwin up
what am i waiting for
no im not blowing up
cheap liquor i put it on ice 
if it aint me u aint doin it right
lil bitch why u switchin up sides
lil bitch why u switchin up sides
fuck u ion play it nice 
fuck u ion play it nice
fuck u 
fuck u 
fuck u ion play it nice 

(noxiousnights)
i just took a break from that drink and that weed
i'm sober as fuck and i'm so fucking exhausted
working on my health, i was killin myself
had to throw away all the pills on my shelf
but i don't give a fuck, i could die tomorrow
they would run over my body if it was on the road
heart like stone and broken like my phone
i'm left in the cold and it's freezing my bones

(autumndropsdead)
can’t correlate with my head 
even though i try 
i don’t feel any better yet
so i sulk instead, life’s on the line
never knew where my shelter is
but we never knew what we started
people talk, but i choose not to worry us
at least i go all in, fuck your polish 
you ain’t gonna make me trust

(residential.)
wasting time
wasting shit
i been in my head
blew a stack
cause i can
now the beamer red
talking less
to my friends
now im in my bed
where the fuck
do you go
when your better dead
smoking gasoline under evergreen bleeding
sold your daughter green now she on my screen feening
never showing up
i been in my room leaning
i think i enjoy when my fingers lose feeling

Darkness 2 Light w/ autumndropsdead, residential, kuriosity, strivesad & noxiousnights [+ sogimura]

via @universalchill
prod jolst x viera
music video: https://youtu.be/J9w6bF2pk90

go home,
go home 
out the cold
i feel so cold 
so cold
i just wanna keep you warm
but you lay in the dirt
in the dirt

n jus go home 
go home 
out the heat 
i am so hot 
so hot
i need your helping hand but u just let me burn
let me burn 

and this happens like every fucking autumn 
baby let the leaves fall down on my coffin 
i’ll make u a coffee when i leave in the morning 
the morning 

im fuckin geeked up when u be callin
i’m sorry that i slur i know u just don’t want it
i can’t help myself bein sober 2 boring 2 boring 

ima sleep in a little bit don’t hit my phone up
it’s not like i’m hurting anybody out here

i cancel all my plans and just cut the cord cus i need two 20’s for my head to feel clear

talkin bout 20’s i jus pop and pop them 
i know it’s not cool but im already here

i need a pretty girl to just cock her shotgun
and evaporate my heart 
i don’t wanna be here 

n i can’t make the music if the energy ain’t right 

n i can’t focus up unless there TR in my sprite 

i pour the pinewood till my chest don’t feel so tight 

2 fucked up u can’t kill me twice

think my heart just caved in 
i’m thinking bout all the time that i jus wasted
texting u but i don’t get a reply
like no way

i’m just a waste of space and
even with this music i don’t think i’ll make it
i’m spilling all my guts on this stupid
fucking iphone notes page 
x2

tarnished (jolst x viera)

produced by caves.

metallic taste in my mouth
bloodshot eyes and im out
i dont know my route
i dont know my route
i dont know my route..
live, endeavor
☆
old news that i already know
pissed off and i cant get old
what do i have to say?
(could i ever?)
(could i ever?)
(one missed call)
(two missed calls)
☆
and who am i right now..?
MY BODYS TELLING ME 
SOMETHING
SOMETHING
SOMETHING
RIGHT NOW
"I NEED TO GET OUT, NEED TO GET AWAY"
to find contrast
in my life
or all this will be nothing
(nothing)
yeah, it'll be nothing.
☆
IM EITHER FIGHTING OR BREAKING
IM EITHER FIGHTING OR BREAKING
FOR ALL MY LIFE
I SCRAPE ANY HOPE
OFF MY BEDROOM FLOOR
and if i cannot find it,
I'LL LEAVE ANYWAY
☆
a hurricanes coming thru and
it kinda reminds me of you
kinda reminds me of you..
have you ever, have you ever,
been alone like that?
and all this time i finally need to matter

live, endeavor.

cover art by my mother 

all the songs in the flesh alb r jus gone be released as singles

sewerperson "lights r on but no ones home" covered in the song

mix & mastr @fleshgolem
lyrics

fillin up th cup 
i feel my body start to ache
evrything telling me to stop
even see th walls starting to cave
and they love it, a body piled function
don’t wanna cause fussing but it’s building up coz every day i see my grave

this aint who i am
but ima act like this is why i am 
my perspective starts to change in where i stand, looking out th window pane
look i dont blame u for thinking im not keen staying 
but i dont hav a plan, anywhere on this dirt feels same

sink to the floor, coz it’s the norm, 
don’t u touch my skin
it’s all been stored, i’m now reborn
coz i can dump my things
yelling fuck it, pressing on my stomach
i can feel it coming but i’m not fucking stopping
 till i’m turned out in 

look at my face, see my state i jus kno ur confused 
i need space, cannot wait let’s take a break on the moon
i’m in pain, still in shock, lost in thought and i’m bruised
u saw me thru th glass and then just left me bleeding out in this hotel room

i saw the lights on but i knew that no one else was home
look at the nikon and check the camera roll, i'm all alone
feel the bottle pop, spew it out, opening in the mouth
i'm a cyclops when it comes to seeing no one else
okay, okay

i feel my ears pop when i take the lift up to the spot
in the function, sipping on this ace and rolling pot
i'ma punch in, even when i'm geeked, i'm on the clock
like a pumpkin, i'm lit up and my body start to rot

i'm an asshole, okay, well, i know, so you can leave
what's the point, though, in coming to the function if you cheesed?
i'm in street clothes but my guys in masks and they don't ski
i don't need throat, i just need a girl who proud of me, okay

know i act tough i just need someone to see i’m not ok
the whole domineer off i’ma just leave it to fate
cut my feelings off coz that mean i’m not suffering the same
sure it isn’t real but when i smile i still feel sane

i still feel sane, but mostly when im on a subs
get apifannys that turns my wants in to musts
i get a lot dreams but w my habits theyre all stuck 
i got these goals but w these habits theyre all fucked

i'm an asshole, okay, well, i know, so you can leave
what's the point, though, in coming to the function if you cheesed?
i'm in street clothes but my guys in masks and they don't ski
i don't need throat, i just need a girl who proud of me, okay

lights r on

lights r on (flesh)

lyrics:
girl ill be right here drowning in my pain
hope you fucking feel it when you hear my name
yeah but whyd you have to go make me feel insane
all this fucking mental anguish all thats in my brain

i dont give a fuck you can blame me
ima push my luck with this codeine
hope im never waking up so i stay sleep
if you wanna keep me here gotta make me

frosted windows, give way to the light
of mornings so cold think ill curl up and die
ill go back to sleep cause i dont wanna fight
another day living this cycle of life

im never alright, im not coming home
ill stay out all night, puke blood on the floor
ill damage myself, and ill rot to the core
im breaking inside dont want to anymore

Make Me

make me

cover of jude's (sleepwater) "nervous"
guitar by caves
reprod by me


miss you bro :(

sleepwater - nervous (cover)

tell me what u want
where u goin in the nighttime?
wakin up late wit nobody by my right side
pourin up drank just to make it til the sunrise
dont know what to say i aint nun more than tongue tied

took a couple grams i aint a bitch
faces fade away so take a pic
feelings never stay so take a hit
think i took too much i gotta sit

think i took too much im steady sippin
fiji water on me bitch im drippin 
grab ahold of me my hand is slippin
off the edge im boutta see the endin

i dont wanna waste another day
dont know how much more that i can take
stayin sober sayin im cliche
had to care i had to find a way to

battle
bottles
whippin murceilagos

in fh5 i aint makin shit on distro

rattled
thoughts roll
into da mental

take my life wit a blade to da wrist hoe

takin flows from songs ill drop tomorrow
sittin in the bottom of the barrel
drownin in this stupid fuckin sorrow
never trustin next time ill be careful

 bring it back in  
got an o-z rolled up in the nightstand 
you dont know me you aint ever met my best friend
c-h-l-o-e thats my right hand
swear that mf got my back when
rollin down the window caughtchu lackin
up the k n we get straight to blastin
camera lights  we cant forget the action

soberr_24

soberr_24 (secre x flesh)

Luffy

dolla sign (feat. Lil Psyop) (prod. dynasty!)

@svnam 
AMV On Biteki!
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/1VJMzlObr9Jerl5fX9aHv6?si=hH4bbMCoTde26ynkYf0oWg
Lyrics: 

(Kanashi) 
i cant write a song thats not about you
told me that you loved me
but that was not true
i hope what you did to me
still haunts you
come and find me dead
wrists slit in the bathroom

i dont wanna feel nothin'
i just wanna die soon
find me laying there
eyes wide open like a cartoon

yeah you cut me deep
wear these scars like a tattoo
tattoo
yeah you cut me deep
wear these scars like a tattoo

(Svnam)
ice on my wrist
can't believe i wasted time on you
two doors
got me feeling suicidal
haunt you like a phantom
play me like recital
practice makes perfect
you were cute
but i don't think you were worth it
trauma in my headspace
fracturing my memory
hope it tears apart
just to forget all you did to me

you keep telling me you're sorry
but darling
it's kinda hard to hear you
when i'm six feet deep in our memories
bury me, bury me, you buried me

i know i'll come back to haunt you
so bury me as deep as you can
& run away as fast as you can

scars & tattoos (w/svnam) (prod. jody)

Kanashī

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