this time it won't fix

https://soundcloud.com/heylog
https://soundcloud.com/imcaves
https://soundcloud.com/irby314

you made me feel nauseous 
i keep getting sick
can't remember where it started 
can't forget all that you did to me
you tasted so bittersweet 
i still see you every time i sleep
i gave you every part of me 
i bet you couldn't tell
i fall in love with narcissists,
don't care about myself
i just go through sedatives
keep fucking up my health 
what's the point of heaven,
i already live in hell

it's not easier 
i'll lie and say it is 
i gave up on getting better 
it's just the way it is
i've been feeling numb ever since i was a kid 
i don't wanna die,
but i don't wanna try and live

i said that i loved you 
(save me)
i gave you the blood from my skin
i tried everything
admit it
it's hard but i did it
you left me too damaged 
this time it won't fix

[heylog]
i'm calling for you 
are you with someone else
the pics on my phone
are nowhere to be found 
would it surprise you 
if i took myself
i might just die here
when no ones around
but i made a choice 
that i regret 
stomp out the house
from what i said
and now it's too late to apologize
fumbled my words,
i guess this is goodbye 

i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
baby it's whatever
see you in the next life
i'm trying to forget her 
but god it feels impossible
now she's just a number 
floating in my phone
i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
i don't make any sense
and it makes me wanna cry 
but i look like im stupid
and she say that it's fine 
girl you're pretty funny 
tell another lie

it's not getting easier (w/ heylog) (prod. caves & irby)

produced, engineered, mixed and mastered by noah thomas

did i do it to myself again

prod hira :)

in the end its only u and i
dont shed tears on a pillow if it isnt mine
these cuts fill the space in-between ur eyes
u say theres something about me 
u dont have to lie
turning to nothing 
ur watching me die
fuck face he a parrasite
ill stab that bitch in the neck if he wanna fight
these cuts fill the space in-between ur eyes
turning to nothing
ur watching me die

i heard u talking shit
so baby come a lil closer
tell it to my face so i can use it for some closure
god shes so embarrassing 
pretend i didnt know her
stabbing thru my chest 
i cant believe she said it wont hurt

that boy gonna piss from his eyes
u told me there's comfort inside
but ur presences still hunting me down
even my shit wanna drown

gimme some time 
i just need some patience
bodys on the floor 
i make em seem weightless
if he wanna die 
then we can arrange it
wasting all my time gambling my wages

gimme some space
i just need a minute
i left my soul on a bridge hoping that youd save it
you told me jump
so i did
and i hit the pavement
ive got nothing to give 
i dont think youre safe yet

in the end its only u and i
dont shed tears on a pillow if it isnt mine
these cuts fill the space in-between ur eyes
u say theres something about me 
u dont have to lie
turning to nothing 
ur watching me die
fuck face he a parrasite
ill stab that bitch in the neck if he wanna fight
these cuts fill the space in-between ur eyes
turning to nothing
ur watching me die

rain (prod. by @austinweller, @rowankemble & @stillharley)

shoutout https://soundcloud.com/cay2o for helping with the ending
all the rest prod by me

lyrics:
dont talk like that, you know this
ive had it, babe im focused.
discarded. u said, "dont leave, don't go"
been up for days, I've blown it
"don't fold in" but its too hopeless
im coming to the coven, i've been numb.

slave away the day until i make it
this chest in pain feels so amazing
if you got some more, then i can take it
she said im mental, guess im crazy
IM SO CRAZY IM SO CRAZY
feeling lost, when you walked in with bleach blonde hair
i never thought we would talk now its been 3 years
on the rocks and im coughing i gasp for air
and she said, "kade, do u hate me? do u hate me?
please dont hate me!"

dont talk like that, you know this
ive had it, babe im focused.
discarded. u said, "dont leave, don't go"
been up for days, I've blown it
"don't fold in" but its too hopeless
im coming to the coven, i've been numb.

coven

spotify

bury my head in my hands

hey, woah
you look so much better than i thought you would
i know i could have helped and i know i should
have been there when you needed me most
so stay close
i just can't bear the thought of you going ghost
on everything we built and the roads we took
doesn't that sound like the best?
'cos i've been staring at a little piece of heaven in your eyes
and i look beyond the arch and see the devil in disguise
and it hurts when you matter the most
and it kills me when you leave me alone
and trust me that i gave it my all
my skin is shed and i'm nothing but bone
you're poison in my veins, my disease
the end of everything we could be
and it's hard
to focus on our wants and i won't
leave you here in my arms 'cos you know
it never got easier
my disarray
leads me here when i need a safe place
i might lead you here into the flames
and right here we'll stay
tongue tied, what can i say
burrowed, i'm hiding away
go without me, save yourself
leave right now, i wish you well
it's been a while since we spoke
but it feels like a week ago
and you forgot what i look like
you won't see even if you try
you won't see me even if you try your best
i can't believe we continue trying again
'cos in the back of my mind i just know we'll end
let's not figure it out, let's just call it dead
i stay alive for a reason
and that reason is you
when my body is bleeding
it bleeds out just for you
Friends (Interlude)
oh she stole my heart
it's all i have
ooh drifting apart
but there ain't no way i'm giving up
it's all my fault
you said yourself
i took too long to answer
you called my your 'makeshift hell'
my patience thin
you told me you wanna stay as friends
i don't know how to take that in
but trust me i'll be alright
it's the same shit but a different day i
woke up in a different place i
don't really remember how i got so damn low
save me all your bullshit lies
i find it hard to push the lines
but ain't that what you wanted love?
ain't this what you needed oh?

you're poison in my veins, my disease [feat. heylog]

killed myself again

med!cine

go follow @iofmusic and use his beats hes great

lyrics:

There we were lost again gone for days
Whats the point no one cares anyways
I’ll still be alright, you could let me die slow
I’ll still be alright, just leave me alone~

On the floor laying there wondering
If any of this shit matters anyway
I'll still be alright, you can watch me die slow
I'll still be alright, that's all I can hope for~

Fuck this conversation , cause I can’t let go
Life just has this grip can’t take hold
Coldest times are near don’t want to
Let you down but times approaching

Peaks never feel like the lows
Slowing my life to a halt
Calling out all night
Closed doors locked behind
You saw all the signs
Lie to me thats all I need to get 
Feelings that cannot compete with the real thing enough
Deep as those meaningless words wanna cut
Eventually all that shit turns to
Nothing


I cannot rewind
Mine as well move on
Longing for a sign
Wishing for a thought
Thats all that I want
Something that just gets me through for the moment
The closer I get to the edge feels alive
Like whats the point of just trudging along
None of this shit feels like it is alright
Cave into the thought crawl into my hole
Back to where before no where left to go

I thought that I'd realize and just let go~
Why did I assume things were simple?

med!cine

<3B!rd

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