Horny But Happy/Depressed The Sequel

they really might not be alike (in terms of vibe) ‌‌random uhhh masterpieces pieced together yall!

ꂟꀎꂵꉣꑄ꓄ꏂꋪ

'goodbye' produced by heylog

lyrics:
almost 5am, i find it harder to sleep
i crack the window and i hear every animal sing
with a wind blowing soft, rustling through the leaves
admire nature as it comes alive from winter to spring
the flowers grow so tall that they start to bloom
and i just took a couple out cus i picked them for u
hoping one day you'll travel here to see what's new
cus this bouquet is gonna die if u don't visit me soon
and i
have a difficult time
spending days
when ur on my mind
wish this
would just go away
cus i'm trying to push u away
why
do i feel lonely
knowing i
hurt to see
an outcast
no one wants to be
and giggled at
n always being teased

can someone give a valid reason on why i shouldn't die
in disbelief that i will never see a point in life
i'm on and off of feeling bad and for a second i'm fine
it's so messed up and i don't think that i will ever resign
i'm so bipolar and i don't want u to see me like this
cus i guarantee i'll scare u if i speak from my chest
i didn't mean for u to leave when u saw that on my wrist
and i'm so sorry for putting u through all of this 
so why
do u keep playing w me
is it cause
u get lonely
in the night
and think of us
well it's fine
cus i think of us too
why
do i feel like this
well nevermind
cus u don't care about this
and if i die
will u grieve
and will cry
and will u miss me

CAN SOMEONE GIVE A VALID REASON ON WHY I SHOULDN'T DIE
CAUSE YOU MAKE ME WANNA KILL MYSELF OR GO GRAB THE KNIFE
I'M AT THE AGE WHERE I CAN NEVER SEE A POINT IN LIFE
IN DISBELIEF OF EVERYTHING THAT I'M JUST WASTING MY TIME
I'M SO BIPOLAR AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE ME LIKE THIS
CAUSE I GUARANTEE I'LL SCARE YOU IF I SPEAK FROM MY CHEST
I'M AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN WITH ALL OF MY REGRETS
THERE'S MANY THINGS I WISH WERE GONE OR WISH I COULD RESET
I STEP INTO THE LIGHT AND DID THIS WITHOUT A GROUP
AND SO YOU NOTICING ME NOW WHEN I'M STEADY ON THE MOVE
AND YOU JUST THINK IT'S ALL OKAY TO HIT ME UP OUT OF THE BLUE
I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND OR TYPE OF BENEFIT TO SATISFY YOU
SO PLEASE GIVE A VALID REASON THAT YOU WANT ME DEAD
IS IT SAFE TO EVEN KNOW THAT THIS JUST MIGHT BE A TEST
FOR YOU TO TRICK ME INTO THINKING I'M NOTHING BUT A MESS
DELETE YOUR IMAGE THAT I LONGED FOR AND NOT SEEN AGAIN

if i can't love
will i end up
alone and forgot
or spend it w someone
i can't fall in love
my hearts dead
probably numb
i miss u my dear
it feels like it's been years

no way home
i was never close
the path ends here
don't know where to go
stone cold lies
i knew i was right
so farewell
cus this is goodbye

spotify

goodbye

'shredder' produced by heylog

lyrics:
at night i wanna end it all
in bed as tears begin to fall
water seeps through my pillow
i had to let it out
why won't u let me be
is it revenge you seek
too bad i cared for u
more than u could ever care for me

right now my only focus is on you
but if i die, i promise that i will warn you
but i cannot guarantee if i'll make it or not
so i'll cherish every moment with u
stay here, i gotta go i'll be right back
i head to war when voices causing this impact
but i cannot guarantee i'll make it out alive
so i'll try my best to stay intact
oh we out here alone with no one there by my side
i keep on hearing these screams and hearing people cry
but i don't know if it's real, don't know if it's a sign
i just know that i'm frightened and horrified
say where is log, i don't know where they went
i vanish into thin air and wait until i'm in
love for who i am
and love for within
u took that away now there's a shredder on my skin
if i were you i would hide
cus u don't know what u caused
u put on quite a show
let's give a round of applause
so are u done hurting me
and are u done w my head?
keep using it like a toy
you must forgot i'm human

don't wait for me now, i don't know how long i'll be
i'm too busy in the ground eating dirt u threw at me
oh u had your chance to let me go so i could breathe
now ur the one who's eating dust that i'm collecting on my feet
so how does it feel now that the roles finally swapped
i've been living too long feeling disgust inside this swamp
people love to talk but never wanna say a thing
when i be standing right there, c'mon and say it to my face
don't piss on my back and say it's raining from outside
i don't need no skin & bones for me to conjure every lie
i know i forgave but honestly i change my mind
cus i could not forgive a person who has stabbed me many times
say where is log, i don't know where i have been
i just stay as far as possible and locking every hinge
love for who i am and love for what i hold within
thanks for ruining what i had, this is where i shred my skin

you hurt..
you hurt
you hurt..
you hurt oh

don't look at me now, i feel so guilty in my chest
reflecting off the mirror is just a boy bout to collapse
i said i wanted peace, instead i got a giant war
and now i feel it slipping through as if this chapters gonna end
better start the next one bringing in new characters
maybe they'll respect me and everything will register
cus i don't need nobody who just screws behind my back
so tell me was it worth it throwing everything we had

shredder

'destroy' produced by heylog

lyrics:
often this summer we fight & start over
u were the best but this bye ain't forever
i'll make some space for ur tears on my shoulder
cus i'll still be here when ur ready to come home

don't cry i'm here with u
through every bump i still love you
don't give up, we'll survive the storm
i promise to keep u warm
babe i try but it's so hard
another boy is probably locked in ur arms
i have no hope of trying again
do u believe we've come to an end

i'm so goin numb, rip my heart out and my guts
love for me is lost and this pain is all for what?
(why)
i built an outer shell, ain't no one allowed in here
i keep my circle small and i shrink it every year
i'm still growing up and i fear the endless void
that i might get sucked in and soon to be destroyed
(destroy)
never would i want u to feel like ur not safe
i see fear in ur eyes when i found ur true place
why u always lie
don't joke it's not the time
i'm not here to pick sides
i'm just here to sit tight
she leveled to my waistline
and give me the rude eye
no something don't sit right
emotionless incline

I ALWAYS GET WORSE BEFORE I GET ANY GOOD
WHY CAN I NOT LEARN WHEN I KNOW I PROBABLY SHOULD
I LOOK AT MYSELF AND I HATE THE FACE I SEE
YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THESE WORDS TRULY MEAN
	
i just need to isolate before i go and lose it
on some stupid situation i have no control with
watch me think over my head
at this point i'm useless
i won't match up to your degree
who in here is uncommon like me
just leave me alone
before i destroy us
away with everything
and everyone

destroy

https://open.spotify.com/album/2erLjZg3vJPYobdmKrexhW?si=Iu-yZ4N-Qc-Ec5v5DKoxrg

prod. @deademane

(heylog)
between the glass
is filled with poison
i feel like trash
apply the ointment
just stay back
he needs some time alone
cus through the cracks
is the widows home
don't come inside here
i would bounce
we're not alive here
don't stick around
when ur minds clear
come in the house
cus i'm not safe here
so get me out

don't come inside here
you might fear
people always die here
bloods along the cabinets
he sacrificed a lot here
everything was gone he loved
and now there's nothing left here
he said he wants to make a change
so he cuts every piece of hair
don't come inside here
you might fear
everybody dies here
walls are colored red
and i see bodies lying everywhere
roam around the room
can you tell there's nothing left here
you're quick to quit imagining
that you brought me inside of here

(casperrr)
oh she
she is lying thru her teeth
i swear that she wants to kill me
lay with my lifeless body
while staring at the ceiling
her actions are deceiving
she cuts herself she's bleeding
the blood is running and she really
fucking loves to see it

welcome to the widows home
there's cracks and holes in every wall
the emptyness fills all those holes
this place really tourments my soul
but you can't leave neither can i
i'll go into a room and cry
i'll try to just make up my mind
cut my hair lock myself inside

there's nowhere to go to now
there's no1 to save you now

(heylog + casperrr)
don't come inside here
you might fear
people always die here
bloods along the cabinets
he sacrificed a lot here
everything was gone he loved
and now there's nothing left here
he said he wants to make a change
so he cuts every piece of hair
don't come inside here
you might fear
everybody dies here
walls are colored red
and i see bodies lying everywhere
roam around the room
can you tell there's nothing left here
you're quick to quit imagining
that you brought me inside of here

casperrr x heylog - there's nothing left here (deademane)

produced by xona, ruevi, & oc

big thank you to all individuals who helped make this song possible <3

@ruevi @prod-oc
@heylog
@hiraethsry
@sleepywater
@sinxi
@caspywaspy
@vilsynth
@valerii
@deadfishh

the lyrics were over 4000 characters and that's the limit for soundcloud ♥

-lyrics-
https://genius.com/Xona-avoid-ii-lyrics

xona

avoid II w/ ruevi, heylog, hiraeth, sleepwater, sinxi, casperrr, vil, valerii & deadfish

shrinking star

Want You Here

SMOKE IT OFF! - Mega Mix - Slowed (Lumi Athena, jnhygs, cade clair)

ODETARI - DOOR TO DUSK [SLOWED]

FASTER N HARDER - 6arelyhuman [slowed]

hey, woah
you look so much better than i thought you would
i know i could have helped and i know i should
have been there when you needed me most
so stay close
i just can't bear the thought of you going ghost
on everything we built and the roads we took
doesn't that sound like the best?
'cos i've been staring at a little piece of heaven in your eyes
and i look beyond the arch and see the devil in disguise
and it hurts when you matter the most
and it kills me when you leave me alone
and trust me that i gave it my all
my skin is shed and i'm nothing but bone
you're poison in my veins, my disease
the end of everything we could be
and it's hard
to focus on our wants and i won't
leave you here in my arms 'cos you know
it never got easier
my disarray
leads me here when i need a safe place
i might lead you here into the flames
and right here we'll stay
tongue tied, what can i say
burrowed, i'm hiding away
go without me, save yourself
leave right now, i wish you well
it's been a while since we spoke
but it feels like a week ago
and you forgot what i look like
you won't see even if you try
you won't see me even if you try your best
i can't believe we continue trying again
'cos in the back of my mind i just know we'll end
let's not figure it out, let's just call it dead
i stay alive for a reason
and that reason is you
when my body is bleeding
it bleeds out just for you
Friends (Interlude)
oh she stole my heart
it's all i have
ooh drifting apart
but there ain't no way i'm giving up
it's all my fault
you said yourself
i took too long to answer
you called my your 'makeshift hell'
my patience thin
you told me you wanna stay as friends
i don't know how to take that in
but trust me i'll be alright
it's the same shit but a different day i
woke up in a different place i
don't really remember how i got so damn low
save me all your bullshit lies
i find it hard to push the lines
but ain't that what you wanted love?
ain't this what you needed oh?

you're poison in my veins, my disease [feat. heylog]

heaven
can't wait forever to fix you
your purpose lies
wherever you want it to
your presence shrouded lies
your soul remains open
i don't think now's the time
but when was it ever?
and i can't wait
to see you at the other side
i'm hoping you don't have any plans for me
these bags imprinted under my eyes
but it's fine
'cos i told you that i'd never forget
i'm sick to death of all of this make believe
i'll raise my hands straight up to the sky
it seems you've done all that you can for me
tell me why there's blood on my hands, oh no
what the fuck did i do this time?
yet again i strive to torture my own
i keep blacking out, i'm out of my mind
so please, could you leave me alone?
it will take a while for me to be right
'cos i struggle to feel like diamond in coal
'cos god forever i've been so blind
and i can't wait
to see you at the other side
i'm hoping you don't have any plans for me
these bags imprinted under my eyes
but it's fine
'cos i told you that i'd never forget
i'm sick to death of all of this make believe
i'll raise my hands straight up to the sky
it seems you've done all that you can for me

imprint

Produced by me

Lyrics:
I never did the things that you did to me
I made some mistakes but you were one to see
why do you think you know what is best for me?
when did you become my enemy?

no matter how hard I bare to try 
everything i say seems to make you cry 
I swear to god if i find out you lied
I will not take you back its goodbye

i know shes gonna try to fix things her own way 
but i dont think that is enough ill keep you safe
shes getting high and tries to sleep away all the pain 
I know that makes you mad but im being honest babe

I never did the things that you did to me
I made some mistakes but you were one to see
why do you think you know what is best for me?
when did you become my enemy?

I wonder if we can last 2 more years
when we talk again will you break down in tears?  
tell me thats its all my fault you live in fear
it breaks my heart but you could live in here

First song
I am heartbroken 
Enjoy >,<

fear

lycora