amazing 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

a mutual sickness report

@strivemusicau
@shizukesaaa
@autumndropsdead
@torvamia

(strivesad)
Caught in a cage with this endless pain
caught up to my age now I’m getting paid
Depression stays high and now the feelings changed
pour another bottle all apon my grave

you’ve been building roads
I’m building settlements

I keep craving another fucking serotonin hit
let’s flip the script

I don’t need no alliby
come with me and stay the night
Fighting for my life I think I’m doing fine

Ripped clothes now I’m going home
got these problems cause I feel alone
keep me in my zone

(shizu)
beamer swerving 
cuz i deserve the worst shit
bet she gon hit me up w/ 'love u but this isnt working'
might fuck around my blade till i negate the serotonin
now watch the liquid dripping red off slitted wrists, still frozen
find another guy and leave me dying w/ no notice
no i was never that man but fans in my dms saying im chosen
it gets hard to speak every want when everyone is seeing you choking
when words go wasting the space of audio waves to leaving me broken"

(autie)
my conscious is ever so heavy
i've been so cautious ever since you left
i've been holding myself down, with this self doubt
but nevertheless
i swear that i'll know when you need me
you know i'm right there when you're hearing that ringing
i'm patient a bit, but waiting's a bitch
i wish i could split and fuck up my breathing
but if there's anyone out there like me
smite like a god do and make me undying
bottle my goods for a world that is dying
plenish a helt that is tattered with lies
'cause i see through them every single minute
proof is in my dome, that's why i'm livid
tell me that you love him 'till i'm finished
i repel and let them be forgiven

(torva)
smoke until my chest hurts, til my lungs burn
think ill die soon, think ill go first
now my head hurts, never heard worse
if i lose you, need a gold hearse

never fuck it up, bitch i run it up
i go fucking crazy
til i do enough
keep my tommy tucked, never losing love
think i need some help
fore' i lose my trust

Cage w/ strivesad, shizukesa, autumndropsdead & torvamia [+ Tied For Silver x flesh]

cover of jude's (sleepwater) "nervous"
guitar by caves
reprod by me

miss you bro :(
don't wait on me now

sleepwater - nervous (cover)

I love u if you’re reading this :’)

Lyrics:

[hero]

i should write a million songs
a discography is not one

so maybe i'm lovin the silence
prop up my fifty pound eyelids
spent years in this room on my own and if u don't believe i could paint u the tiling
most of my friends are one-sided
bout time that i cut all of my ties and
i'm looking rough in the mall yet she likin my hair and i don't even style it
these r my guys that i could not betray
i wouldn't even know how to
awol n timeless
grounds n lowlifes
the rest of my guys i can't rhyme thru
where did the time go
feels like i started a cyclone
i never imagined i'd make it here
or know the friends that i know

[navyxower]

every day i am outside in
this cold weather makes me feel alive, andr
your always inside of my iris
i wish id take you out for the night, then

i dont wanna casue a problem
i lost a couple friends that i loved
i need to make some sense, of what i, have known
im in love with you and no one, knows
i need to make up my mind again, timeless the gang, yeah we know how we ride in this
i dont fw hoes or a side bitch, i made it far, now im thinking where ive been
up in my minds a mess

times going by, and i cannot stop it
im tryna make sense of this
but i cant even breathe through my concious
nobody fuck with me
my style yeah i see
the pain in ur eyes
baby i got your back, even if you aint mine

[hero]

so maybe i'm lovin the silence
prop up my fifty pound eyelids
spent years in this room on my own and if u don't believe i could paint u the tiling
most of my friends are one-sided
bout time that i cut all of my ties and
i'm looking rough in the mall yet she likin my hair and i don't even style it
these r my guys that i could not betray
i wouldn't even know how to
awol n timeless
grounds n lowlifes
the rest of my guys i can't rhyme thru
where did the time go
feels like i started a cyclone
i never imagined i'd make it here
or know the friends that i know


thank you

to all of my listeners
to my idols i base my sound off of
and to all my friends that have stuck with me.
(names in the order of who i met first to last to the best of my memory)

@kurayuz-rageex
@kukisawus
@seltzerkrys
@xweepings
@yokaidreams
@canyouseetheghost
@navyxower
@killsadghxst
@adoretaiken
@lovecliqxe
@noeke
@prod_emerald
@solofttt
@cyzun
@emptychest
@autumndropsdead
@sadtxnshi
@shizukesaaa
@swno
@ztope
@powla
@prodselfdoubt
@camertin
@luvsig
@yxvngjones
@nevrwrld
@x1fern
@caspywaspy
@drewisdead
@failure404
@paperthinwallss
@im_slendr
@drewisdead
@anmldoctor
@betweentheveinsandi
@safeatlast
@lxstboymusic
@heyzbee
@dxnnyymusic
@mxlatonin
@crizzywhite
@cuts
@sivistial 

and so many others i couldn't find the @s for or aren't on soundcloud (or i missed cuz i was tired writing this list LOL)

you made me who i am today
and i am forever grateful all of you have been part of my life

thank you (ft. navyxower) (skellington)

lyrics

a long time ago there was hope in my eyes
but now i just see whats in front of me
n if im not awake can u open my eyes?
n try to make me wake up manually

and those boys on ur phone seem nice
but do they make you songs whenever they see u cry?
i swear on my life that im trying
just wait for july
theyll be lining up to hear me outside
theyll be lining up to hear me outside

stop talking if this bottles my last drink i wanna make it count
i seem to think better when theres no one around
all i need is a smoke and the sun down
then i can make you proud
kid dont want fame he wants the riches
his wife and not the bitches
drunken swashbuckler im singing to the fishes
n i know when i die no one will listen but the mrs.
like woah
i traded all my friends for some peace of mind
i cant go outside tonight im busy making rhymes
but u dont need to worry baby girl im fine
its just one of those nights

and those boys on ur phone seem nice
but do they make you songs whenever they see u cry?
i swear on my life that im trying
just wait for july
theyll be lining up to hear me outside
theyll be lining up to hear me outside

drunken sailors shanty (jacob vallen)

im losing count what number single but its on the @fleshgolem album nonetheless

lyrics

my life is a ticking time bomb
u play the right song
and all of the wires will spark

life’s short then why it feel long?
i’m tryna right wrongs
while surrounded in dark

love myself
i’ve been tryna get to that place
no words said
i would never come out of that place
i don’t know what to say anymore
a thousand notes on my phone that’s jus stored

i wanna get to sleep on time
i been heavyheaded got a lotta stress on my mind
medicating just sleep at all
plenty ppl fall
but i can’t just lose what i used to die for

i don’t check the safety
just vibin lately
the pressure tryna take me
won’t let it change me 
suffer more suffer less, it’s all the same 
had no choice still a voice yelling change

she said can u lov me for the moment
but it don’t mean as much so y’s it so important 
u see thru my lens shit distorted 
why u want me to against the grain again and again
its jus pain, its jus pain, uh its jus pain its jus pain
￼

against the grain

against the grain (flesh x ertu)

ghost town w/sendflowrs (prod. wetmall)

lyrics ⬇️ 

every thing you told me was a lie
you can’t even look me in my eyes no more
once everything I wanted but now I been floor
i been dying from the torch 
i been flying thru the door

miss what we had
everything was perfect 
every night we would laugh
I don’t wanna burn it
cuz I’m honestly attached
god gave me a purpose
and you stabbed me in the back
why’d you do that

brand new mission oh I can't wait to get loaded in
ten more minutes til I'm out there counting dividends
yea
watch me mix it in tell me that there's more to this
before I forfeit, I don't need no more of this
I went to Florida with my family then I told them that
I don't feel much more like family when you give me crap
let me sit up by myself when I'm feeling sad
promise that ill come back i don't mean to make you mad

but never once did you ask me if I’m fine
i been smokin blunts so that I could ease My mind
every night it’s the same
I cant ever go to sleep
all the time try to change
but I never wanna leave

(casperrr)
going dummy at the function  
just so i can fuck shit
nah i can't fuckin function 
with the way u changed so quick
really thought you loved me
but i guess i was mistaken 
they way u kept pushing me back
hiding mthe fact u were taken

used to look up at people
and now most are at my level
all i have left is a house 
that's filled with air and our shadows
you left a hole inside my heart
turned from special to mental
like chaging howl for hollow 
i know it was not accidental

at this point i don't know what family is?
people stop caring about u when u stop being a kid 
i've been alone ever since i was 14 
left to deal with a bunch a shit, i don't know what i did
idk how i made it out
idk what it is
maybe i had more to do
maybe i was born for this
i just hope so cuz otherwise imma quit
life in general cause without music life is boring as shit

forfeit w/ casperrr (tiedforsilver)

look in the mirror who am i?
tryna be me, but i feel disguised
darken my face
hard to replace
fighting hard but my body just breaks

i remember the times
you were with him when you claimed to be mine
got me in a bad mood
fighting myself just to have you 

like that’s what i want
i wish i could have you
girls wanna have fun
guess you wanna have him too

fighting myself
meant what i said when i said go to hell
losing my mind get me outta my cell
some people told me but i never tell
what’s real or what’s fake
sealing my fate
breaking my body let it decay x2

cuz up in my head i’m enough
but when i’m with you, you’re not feeling my love
you put the knife in my back
so i put my drink in my cup

stuck in a haze
lie to my face when you said we won’t break up
so iv just been out on the run
hand on the trigger 
you’re pointing the gun

look in the mirror who am i?
tryna be me, but i feel disguised
darken my face
hard to replace
fighting hard but my body just breaks 

i remember the times
you were with him when you claimed to be mine
got me in a bad mood
fighting myself just to have you 

like that’s what i want
i wish i could have you
girls wanna have fun
guess you wanna have him too


fighting myself
meant what i said when i said go to hell
losing my mind get me outta my cell
some people told me but i never tell
what’s real or what’s fake

fighting myself

i got too many pics on my line
i got too many thoughts on my mind baby
we dont see the same now i feel blind
i been making songs just to pass time baby
she dont want me singing like that
she dont want me feeling like that
baby i got scars on my back
i got weed in my lap
i got ur head in my lap
the whole room claps when i snap
but im gonna cry when i get back
i will cry when i get back
baby i cant call u if its night time
please dont let me hold u back if its not the right time
we only live once so i want u to have a nice life
every time we argue feel like im the one to break ice
i dont live the same life
bae i dont expect u to save mine
if tonights my last night u kno imma pray right
baby ill be okay u dont gotta stay like
im a grownup these things shouldnt waste time
i spend hundreds on programs to perfect the voice lines
but u say i sound best when i sing on car rides
i think its ironic how the only way that i can say my thoughts to u
are all in my files
i got lyrics for miles
void in personality
i fill it with style
angel numbers showing up
im waiting for the angels arrival
n i been crying so much lately feel like a child
havent seen u in a while

withdrawal broke my conscious
slowing up
pouring up
five missed calls im fucking up
all these texts ive been stalling
im sorry
its not u baby
its me
sometimes i feel like i can see the future
every day that i dont record i feel like a loser
i dont like people so i make money off my computer
catch me in the back of the party sipping shooters
i been trying to make some shit that sound newer
but every single thing i make just sounds the same it never ends
i kno life is beautiful but all i see is streets from my window
feel alone in a room full of people

blind  (p. Elvix)

produced by ushanka boy
featuring NAVYXOWER (@navyxower)
mixed by navy & epitome
mastered by teddyboi (@yoimn3ver)

lyrics

well…
i don’t know why but it feels like
i’ve been here forever 
been seeing star signs layered through the sky
that lead me back to december

those cold lonely nights
drove me to insanity 
i didn’t put up a fight
for you and that drives me crazy 

what the hell was every supposed to do
i didn’t have a clue
this shit left us confused
but that’s okay we’ll work it out
there’s no need to cry now
wipe your tears, i love the sound
of your voice there’s nothing that

could replace you
you’ve always been the one i choose
there’s nothing left for me to lose
so you have to know these feelings are true

NAVY

baby i could do it better yeah i swear to beup at night i see you walking past my house theres plentyplenty times where i need you in my bed with mewhy is life never really even fair to mebring me back to another timeanother era another life  where i can say i feel alirghttime goes by really fast in the nightand when your with the ones you love the most, time just really flysfly carefullyi pray to god ill see you eventaullyi miss everything you said to mei hate goodbyes theyre not meant for me



well, i don’t know why but it feels like
i’ve been here forever 
been seeing star signs layered through the sky
that lead me back to december

against the grain (flesh x ertu)

maesk

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