lil ghost's diary (333)

BRAND 6

Feeling Depleted and Obsessed

lyrics:

Its a house party
Im here and I am sloshed
She been way too close right now
I think im in a mosh
Swear im a clit how they been rubbing the wrong way
The amount of smoke I let out after rips its Pompeii
She play games I had to hit her with the soft block
She too- I cant fuck u with a soft cock
Gimme head
Ill bless u back
Ok uh
She told me cum on top her back
And I sprayed uh

Im so Maury how I son these copy pastes
I ash on my vlone while he hang up his old navy
This power up in my cup could kill a baby
Im so deep inside this shit I promise u won’t save me
This some first take shit
On bass that’s earthquake
It feels like rapture how my whole entire room shakes
Got me sweating cause I know im not a pure soul
Still im gifted with this voice that lays ethereal
Her dad must be Phillips how she projecting
And her mom must be fedex how she hold my package
Pull up on my guys and they let that opera sing
Stay around too long I swear they’ll bring u damage

Fuck me and bite me and slap me and maim me and scar me and shape me and teach me the ways of the background U gave me I learned it and suffered the beatings and upsets
I am nothing but an object to you

Its a house party
Im here and I am sloshed
She been way too close right now
I think im in a mosh
Swear im a clit how they been rubbing the wrong way
The amount of smoke I let out after rips its Pompeii
She play games I had to hit her with the soft block
She too-  I cant fuck u with a soft cock
Gimme head
Ill bless u back
Ok uh
She told me cum on top her back
And I sprayed uh

house Party  (eric Godlow)

spotify:

like staring into a mirror :<

prod. yungspoiler <3

lyrics:
isnt it lovely how 
things come back around when changing roles 
a fiber copy of 
the way i tend to write in how u wrote 
its kinda funny 
girl name three real things u know about me now
im way too faulty
to be loved in ways that aint like me at all 

im scared to feel what i need to 
my friends dont know what im holding back 
cus i used to think i was see through 
now i stand on top of this broken glass 
but what do i know?
ima bypass the faults of my confidence 
i quit that sideshow 
was it like that to know were not gonna last?
"im scared to feel what i need to 
my friends dont know what im holding back 
cus i used to think i was see through 
now i stand on top of this broken glass 
but what do i know?
ima bypass the faults of my confidence 
i quit that sideshow"
was it like that to know were not gonna last?

and with tear blurred eyes these lines blend to patterns 
and leave both sides acting the same 
so i reach for why precisely it matters
who reads what signs cus im so ashamed of 
all this when not done myself
notice how all that i felt 
broke in the moment tides fell?
idk no idk how id help

im scared to feel what i need to 
my friends dont know what im holding back 
cus i used to think i was see through 
now i stand on top of this broken glass 
but what do i know?
ima bypass the faults of my confidence 
i quit that sideshow 
was it like that to know were not gonna last?
"im scared to feel what i need to 
my friends dont know what im holding back 
cus i used to think i was see through 
now i stand on top of this broken glass 
but what do i know?
ima bypass the faults of my confidence 
i quit that sideshow"
was it like that to know were not gonna last?

and suddenly it matters what i felt? | prod. yungspoiler

and these seconds go by like they’re nothing 
and precious is time but means nothing to me 
and these minutes rain down and cause flooding 
my waterproof coat hides the heart on my sleeve 

and i met her last year through her cousin 
it was april or may i don’t know honestly
i was away with the fairies all morning 
and we texted all day and it felt like a dream

now this time i once spent with my darling 
means nothing to her or to me 
oh my god 
how embarrassing for me was blubbing
in front of her mom and like 3 of her friends

and i guess ill be there if you need me 
you don’t have to fake to please me
you can talk to me so sweetly
or pretend that this is easy
it’s a daily rock bottom
so i drown my pain in weed leaves
10KG weights, and tea leaves
and when you hurt me kill discretely, please 

(greenwood)
try to parse through the things that you said
crossed over Madison, i loved you to death
stayed in the winter despite what i need
but we never made it to august heat
eyes on the valley, you asked me to wait
ask of the baggage, it's as is you care
still keep the coat that i got you in spring
i still keep the pictures i'm not even in

i still keep the pictures i’m not even in w/ greenwood (pekarot)

lyrics 

[maesk]
hold me and don’t let go
do u not know what you are do u not know what this is
i get it ur drawn, unrealistic expectations, u have what is ideal and try to replicate it here in this cold world where the dark never disappears, the light we see will all wither till it’s final flair

i know a lot of people not a lot of people know me
i tend to prefer distance when so when it comes to being lonely 
i don’t mind guess i’m too aware, i’m not scared, only that i might never show fear
i’ll just stare at the ground

yeah i’m still human despite what u may think 
just plenty problems nothing like a good drink won’t fix
something to help me look at this place a little more wrong
maybe time to write another sad song


hold me and don’t let go
do u not know what you are do u not know what this is

time to write another sad song
a few will listen but no one else know how long
i been thinking and been feeling all these things 
u say u listen but u don’t know how it’s been. well u might soon

[goneafteraugust]

always had to hang my head by myself
get it together puff out my chest by myself
i know how it feels to be alone
leave a key under the mat in case i ever come home

so we can go lie down
where it’s quiet and the world won’t make a sound
u can listen to my heart beat pound
i’m headed to u babe i need it right now

forgotten key

forgotten key ft goneafteraugust (flesh x 1gokami)

tomorrow ft sewerperson
prod by me, sped up by kndyxoxo

point you to the borough
I'll just roll another blunt I promise ill be fine tomorrow
Please just say you love me baby, I could die tomorrow
Wipe those icy tears Why girl you could cry tomorrow

Shout my mama, help me deal with all of my trauma
night sweat don't need no sauna She a knight she don't need no armor
I'ma try to protect my aura, fly out to Bora Bora
Cause damn, my life is boring

It's a couple bottles on the floor that I'll pick up tomorrow
It's a lot of shit in my head right now got me feeling hollow
Is she one of them of course she is
Still take care of important shit
Like wake up and endorse some shit and start again tomorrow
It's a couple bottles on the floor that I'll pick up tomorrow

It's a couple bottles on the floor that I'll pick up tomorrow
It's a lot of shit in my head right now got me feeling hollow
Is she one of them of course she is
Still take care of important shit
Like, wake up and endorse some shit and start again tomorrow
It's a couple bottles on the floor that I'll pick up tomorrow

I aint thrashed by the whip while I point you to the Burrough
But I just roll me another blunt I promise we'll be fine tomorrow
Please just say you love me, baby, I could die tomorrow
Why those eyes and tears? I'm like you could cry tomorrow
Bright lights cut through the snow on this New York night

In this road truck blast, I'm a geek, all this right here
Win this shit right back into the future
It's hype, if I pop that shit again, it's put me out like a light
You should link again, I'm back at home, I got time

If we speak again, I'll let you know what's on my mind
Please don't take it personal, I meant it to be kind
I know you can feel me, I can see it in your eyes

It's a couple bottles on the floor that I'll pick up tomorrow
It's a lot of shit in my head right now got me feeling hollow
Is she one of them of course she is
Still take care of important shit
Like wake up and endorse some shit and start again tomorrow
It's a couple bottles on the floor that I'll pick up tomorrow

It's a couple bottles on the floor that I'll pick up tomorrow
It's a lot of shit in my head right now got me feeling hollow
Is she one of them of course she is
Still take care of important shit
Like, wake up and endorse some shit and start again tomorrow
It's a couple bottles on the floor that I'll pick up tomorrow

Tomorrow Ft. Sewerperson (prod. @yungcastor)

lyrics ⬇️   (drums by lessthanfriends)

it’s not because it’s over
i thought it would be  fine if I moved here 
i thought it would be nice if I moved near
but you said it’s okay if I stayed back
and you hope I’m doing okay but I can’t relax
cuz you’re burying the flames that we once had
why you always playin games I don’t like that
yea
it’s so insane that I don’t fight back
so much pain engraved in my brain that you cause a heart attack
who’s the one that’s really to blame 
i don’t care I’m done with that
said you’d come back if I changed 
but now you really won’t come back
Everything I did was bad

yea did it for a purpose 
really always hated that one person
Put my fist in his his face cuz you flirtin
yea watch me switch up my lanes cuz they lurkin

(lessthanfriends)

lately they been lurking 
baby i been workin hard
just to try and get you
out my head and out my heart
tell me what you did to me
you left me so torn apart
tell me that you love me
i dont trust you anymore
break me into pieces 
shoulda seen you leavin
shoulda seen you leavin
i been grievin since the start
tell me what you needed
coulda gave you anything
but now im dyin slowly 
just leave me here to bleed
(me)
you ran away from everything else I ever wanted
so now I’m sittin here I’m super sick and now I got nothin 
but will it ever make sense
no I don’t check my phone cuz I don’t got friends
and I don’t wanna know what ur doing with him
so I’ll sit here all alone in my home I hope it ends

i hope it ends w/ lessthanfriends (michael harrison)

"I’mma hurt myself to keep my mind off you"
Prod by. @hkfiftyone2
Cover art by. @walkerdunnvisuals on Instagram

Pre-chorus/
I hate the fact you don’t need me
You’ve never come back to see me 
I don’t wanna cry about you
I’mma hurt myself to keep my mind off you 
I don’t wanna have any feelings 
I see your face in the ceilings
I don’t wanna cry about you
I’mma hurt myself to keep my mind off you 

Chorus/
I was your wall 
Build me up so I don’t fall
And once I’m tall
Break me until I dissolve 
I was your wall 
Build me up so I don’t fall
And once I’m tall
Break me until I dissolve 

Verse/
I was just a distraction
You used me as a loose trash bin
Nothing more than skin
After, when you did what you did
I thought I was gonna be sick
Why did you take that risk?
Got nothing to say to you x4

Pre-chorus/
I hate the fact you don’t need me
You’ve never come back to see me 
I don’t wanna cry about you
I’mma hurt myself to keep my mind off you 
I don’t wanna have any feelings 
I see your face in the ceilings
I don’t wanna cry about you
I’mma hurt myself to keep my mind off you 

Chorus/
I was your wall 
Build me up so I don’t fall
And once I’m tall
Break me until I dissolve 
I was your wall 
Build me up so I don’t fall
And once I’m tall
Break me until I dissolve

your wall (till I dissolve)

Other Platforms <3

your wall (till I dissolve) [prod. HKFiftyOne]

who needs therapy right?? T-T

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/intl-de/track/5p7PxyfUy6wdJ9ifc3zieu?si=13e1ec407de247f9

hiii u guysss last song of the year whatt?? its been a rough one but as yall can tell by this song maybe im delusional enough to get by 

lyrics:
i cant with this indecision i had to get closure 
bypassing my intuition might be fcking me over
miles way from the pit i miss the dried leaves of ur clover
high speed will increase the friction i said it i told ya 
it might be too hard to handle but i knew that 
when the thread i hold starta loosen
u keep ur hands close way to prove that 
when i helped u most u just used that
had to bottle it up 
weed smoke in my lungs
tried to keep u afloat
while i was under the raft 
so down on my luck 
double checked all my cards 
u said i was gold 
but that just wasnt enough 

dont u think that its fcked?
i knew it couldnt be right 
to be so high on a pedestal that my flaws couldnt show signs 
i tried to be who u needed but who u needed couldnt be kind 
told me to cut ya out of my life 
at that point id rather have died 
not now idc
i cant be harmed if im not there 
im not even me no more i cant feel at all 
im redeemed if im unaware
so i just block out whats inside 
and forget outside when im high 
i just dont see what for i should be ignored 
but be seated right by this shitty door like goddamn 

i cant with this indecision i had to get closure 
bypassing my intuition might be fcking me over
miles way from the pit i miss the dried leaves of ur clover
high speed will increase the friction i said it i told ya 
it might be too hard to handle but i knew that 
when the thread i hold starta loosen
u keep ur hands close way to prove that 
when i helped u most u just used that
had to bottle it up 
weed smoke in my lungs
tried to keep u afloat
while i was under the raft 
so down on my luck 
double checked all my cards 
u said i was gold 
but that just wasnt enough

defense mechanism | prod. uguwap

lord knows i tried to interfere 
but u dont decide who u get killed most the time
tho its never right, thats just the deal 
in his state of mind he couldnt shield u and i 
cus they say that ur too good and theyre afwul like its valid 
like all that u been thru came at the cost of circumstances 
that u couldve controled if u gave up and didnt care 
its all the same, it isnt fair 
cus u feel awful too, u swear 
lord knows i tried to interfere 
and so i guess my time has come 
ill change myself until im so far from the person who u want 
im scared of who i might become 
theres only so much left that 
white wine and cigarettes cant 
dull down to basically none 
oh im sick of hearing its not my fault 
i turn my back and turn to stone 
maybe this is what u want 
maybe this is what u want 
maybe this is what u want

just remember that i rly tried

@majoraeclipse <333
(prod. loneliness孤独)

Lyrics:
Maybe I was too persistent
(But you were all that I had)
Wasn't so super superstious 
(Walking over the cracks)
Would it have made a difference
(If I ignored the snakes in the grass)
If I had kept some distance?
(I would've had a whole of a heart)


You were all that I wanted
Thought I made that obvious to you
Feel like it's a contest
And you don't want to hear the truth

That's the issue
Your walls are built so damn high
It's hard to break through
And I just can't seem to see why
Every time that i miss you
Somethings wrong with my mind
Remember the smell of your vape juice
By my cabinet side 
(By my cabinet side)

Majoreclipse:
So I guess it's goodbye 
I told ya that I'm prolly not that easy to like 
And i was right, wasn't I? 
It's not about picking sides 
But you know that I'd prolly take your's 
Like the tide awaits shore 

So if winter leaves me intact 
And I'm resiliant to the cold, would you know how to react? 
Or is the thought of that too distant for it to distract
From what you learned to be true? 
Cus I been hurt just like you 
Pick at the wounds so that I can be sure what I feel 
Though I'm so tired of the blue 
I wrap my wishes in green covers 
But doubt it's of use 
I think you miss who you discovered
I'm tired of it too

Snakes In The Grass (feat. majoraeclipse)

i was stuck inside my head, should be stuck inside my bag p-p

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/intl-de/album/1C6fK1WlNyx8kptlDhV5QO?si=e13461ea861442b7

new year, new-ish song xd new chapter for sure tho

lyrics:
talk abt a pain washing the dirt from my hands 
from ppl walking over me again and again and 
honestly what can i reccomend 
its all the same in the end 

at least i got what my moneys worth 
love was never free 
u put ur phone in dnd 
acting out of reach 
but when its cold telle me was it worth 
id rather freeze than keep u close to be fucking hurt 
i wont sit and weep
at least i got what my moneys worth 
love was never free 
u put ur phone in dnd 
acting out of reach 
but when its cold telle me was it worth 
id rather freeze than keep u close to be fucking hurt 
i wont sit and weep anymore 

i shouldve listened to my friends i deserve better
u showing teeth outta defense aint no laughing matter 
keep watching me from a distance with ur strings tethered 
if u ever wanted to keep that as a fucking backup
but baby now way 
used me for ur benefit and spit me out like colgate 
i wont pass ur circles just to end up at the gold gates 
i cant keep refelcting i dont recognize my own face
talk abt a soulmate
like cant u feel that?
somwhere in the layers that u peeled back 
i could see u struggle holding tears back 
i could see right through u and u deared that 
i couldnt reach that 

at least i got what my moneys worth 
love was never free 
u put ur phone in dnd 
acting out of reach 
but when its cold telle me was it worth 
id rather freeze than keep u close to be fucking hurt 
i wont sit and weep
at least i got what my moneys worth 
love was never free 
u put ur phone in dnd 
acting out of reach 
but when its cold telle me was it worth 
id rather freeze than keep u close to be fucking hurt 
i wont sit and weep anymore

money's worth | prod. drma x nihil2free x 80root

produced by pekarot
engineered by me

lyrics:

girl u told me i wouldnt be something
now i turned being a nothing into something
posting songs hoping i make it
i dont wanna have to live in fear

GIRL IM DYING THE FLOOR
NOW STARING INTO THE MIRROR ON SHROOMS LIKE YOU DONT HAVE TOO
SICK OF CRYING ON THE FLOOR IN THIS BEDROOM

lost to many people way to soon
wanna chase these pills with some whiskey but i dont wanna die yet
reapers got my soul on a list and hes ready to collect
and if we never meant i doubt he would be dead
n i sent my last text and you left it on read
i gotta say this one more time
it wasnt my fault that he did what he did
but u can blame me because i never change im jus like the rest

a fucking drug addict
a fucking mess
always fucking stressed

girl u told me i wouldnt be something
now i turned being a nothing into something
posting songs hoping i make it
i dont wanna have to live in fear

GIRL IM DYING THE FLOOR
NOW STARING INTO THE MIRROR ON SHROOMS LIKE YOU DONT HAVE TOO
SICK OF CRYING ON THE FLOOR IN THIS BEDROOM

something

@sorrow_bringer

10 missed calls
didnt even here the phone ring
i rly thought
that i left that in the old me
why're ur eyes always red?
she still walks thru my head
good god, i've been feelin so unholy
when i fall, i know no one's there to hold me
if that's all to be said
you can load up the lead

spent my last 12 months
tryna make a couple bucks
ruinnin from my loved ones
i've been hiding
from the life i knew once
to the shit i do now
you can't even here the sound
if i'm cryin
long nights smoking blunts
til the sun comes up
i've been faded on my own
and idgaf
if the neighbors gunna watch
take a pic too
it's all good
they won't ever get what we do

Follow me <3

10 missed calls (prod. sorrow bringer)

@curtainss @taxpurposes

you were on the phone
and i was in the back seat
gettin rly stoned
thinkin bout my last week
how i was alone
sleepin on my friends couch
tryna move along
when i know this isnt lasting
somethings wrong with me
i wont give it up, not easily
take my hand
just breathe
i wont give u up, so easily

gimme a way out or give me a sign
every word you rehearsed
remembered all of the lines
bullshittin me ab love every night
and im better off without you in hind sight
i wasted so much time
playin all these games
puttin up a fight
hopes a dangerous thing
when its all u got
just leave me be

just leave me be
im better off without u
hangin out to dry
while someones in ur bedroom
covered in the sheets
that hid me just last week
funny how it works
youre so quick to forget me

you were on the phone
and i was in the back seat
gettin rly stoned
thinkin bout my last week
how i was alone
sleepin on my friends couch
tryna move along
when i know this isnt lasting
somethings wrong with me
i wont give it up, not easily
take my hand
just breathe
i wont give u up, so easily

i know how it goes
one day im ur everything
and the next im just some dead weight
we just started and u fold
ik ur still in love with ur ex and o’s
and i deserve so much more
so u can see urself out thru that door
then ill drink so much that ill hit the floor
and do it all again
dont know what for

you were on the phone
and i was in the back seat
gettin rly stoned
thinkin bout my last week
how i was alone
sleepin on my friends couch
tryna move along
when i know this isnt lasting
somethings wrong with me
i wont give it up, not easily
take my hand
just breathe
i wont give u up, so easily

somethings wrong with me
i wont give it up, not easily
take my hand
just breathe
i wont give u up, so easily

BREATHE (prod. curtains x taxpurposes)

Debut album out 10/31 on Halloween!
Thanks for listening friends, this was a really fun track to make
<3
Shoutouts
@sewerperson
@sorrow_bringer
@iofmusic

And on a side note THANK YOU FOR 50K on Loveless
You guys are awesome!

*lyrics by request*

(Fearce)
Cant believe my eyes
Look how far we made it
told to never cry
now we just get faded
might see you at my show
too high to even notice you

someday came suddenly
another feeling gone
always time to leave
timing
dont mean a thing
when everything gets lost
it was just a dream
but 
all of its so vague now
can you help me figure out

so many stories i couldnt remember
when all i could think of was falling asleep
you distance yourself from the past and the present
now all that you're left with exists in a dream

but we're so much farther
than the people we used to be

(Sewerperson)
black ash
seeing thru the serpents eye
whip lash
i could barely sleep at night
breaking the walls of my mind
baby i had enough
chained to the pole by her side
baby im giving up
and i never leave
i just fade into the background
they aint let me breathe but i promise you i am now
 ever since i known her she cant help the way she stand out  
baby ill see you in your dreams and i promise you ill stand down
woah
lights on top these buildings offer shelter from the snow
i cant even decide just where the fuck i wanna go
far away from anybody i would ever know
i could feel this tingle in my hands before they glow

The People We Used To Be feat. sewerperson (prod. sorrow bringer)

333
my only known form of communication
i hope u enjoy <3