produced by sorrow bringer

lyrics;
its been 45 days since i got fucked up
its been 59 days since i got drunk
doing this for my health and i hate it
jus like jelly said sobriety sucks
i like the feeling of being fucked up
it helps with know ill never be enough

i wake up and wish i could jus go back to sleep
even when i record 50 songs a week
i still feel like im just a sheep
everyone says its not that deep

beingsoberfkingsucks

i know that you care 
i know your right here 
but i cannot stop the demon in my ear 
“it’s like she can’t stand you”
that’s what they say 
can’t be abandoned 
with my own brain  
stuck in my mind 
i feel all my pain 
drive all night 
i can’t see through the rain 
swerve and i steer 
i love you my dear 
i hope you hear this 
while i’m still here 

it’s not like it’s your fault at all 
feel like i have lost my soul 
wish it could be different 
wish you could be with me 

your scared, i know 
never hurt your soul 
watch me loose control
just hold me tighter 
cause i don’t know 

i know that you care 
i know your right here 
but i cannot stop the demon in my ear 
“it’s like she can’t stand you”
that’s what they say 
can’t be abandoned 
with my own brain  
stuck in my mind 
i feel all my pain 
drive all night 
i can’t see through the rain 
swerve and i steer 
i love you my dear 
i hope you hear this 
while i’m still here 

it’s like i’m in love with those brown eyes 
they brought my soul back to new heights 
everything’s bad when it’s alright 
but everything fades when your here 
won’t you come back with me tonight 
i stop all the drugs when your by my side 
it’s like your my cure to a bad time 
so won’t you stay a little while

demon [in my ear] (prod. micheal harrison)

prod (wuhan x yuerixoxo)

feat @dontwakeslasher

get down

i didn't take it back and know i feel bad 
let me go home and i cant do that 
i fucked it up omg
idk whats going on 
send me back one day 
omg im afraid 
dont let me go back no more 
wanna chop me up in pieces and leave me in the ditch 
omfg im mess bro
only she can save me
only she can save me

only she can save me by my bad side ik
sorry im so complicated looking for my doom
tell me where i found you again 
i dont take baby not my time 

got looking back like is it my time 
idk yet but am i going to die 
don't know what to do for my last try 
god give me one to many time to think it over 

omg im a fuck up idk coming but yeah I'm fuh bust bruh 
one too many time think it over it my head 
sometimes i wounder wish i was dead 

i fucked it up omg
idk whats going on 
send me back one day 
omg im afraid 
dont let me go back no more 
wanna chop me up in pieces and leave me in the ditch 
omfg im mess bro
only she can save me
only she can save me

only she

notes +
this is a song i wrote around 2 years ago ! i posted it when i made it, but the mix was horrible and there was an obnoxious tag over the whole song, so i've re-recorded and remastered the song to post. this has held up to be one of my favorite songs i have ever made, and i hope you like the remastered version :3

lyrics +

VERSE 1
day in, day out
to the moon, i shout
can't go a day without
all of these memories

BRIDGE 1
all of these memories (all of these memories)
the endless melodies
i can't escape the fantasy
of you here next to me

CHORUS 1
what did she do to deserve all the love songs
i cant but to sit here and sing this until dawn
when everything that forms in my life goes terribly wrong
what is there to do for my own happy ending
i just want to know what i can do for you
i know that we could be together through and through
but you put her over me there's nothing i can do to
change your mind and rewrite history

VERSE 2
delusions infect my brain, i don't know what to do
i'm sitting in my bedroom, and i'm singing about you again
i never thought this connection could've been renewed
i can't begin to tell you what i've been through

BRIDGE 2
all of these memories
the endless melodies
i can't escape the fantasy
of you here next to me

CHORUS 2
what did she do to deserve all the love songs
i cant but to sit here and sing this until dawn
when everything that forms in my life goes terribly wrong
what is there to do for my own happy ending
i just want to know what i can do for you
i know that we could be together through and through
but you put her over me there's nothing i can do to
change your mind and rewrite history



rewrite history (prod. WOLFGANG PANDER)

autumn_freestyle w/ yungcray + epitomeoffailure + wraith

[fiction]
got me messed up in the face 
feeling like i just got laced 
it wasn’t purp it wasn’t white 
this shit is fate 
i don’t wanna see you talking to me bout what’s fake 
talking all that’s shit but i don’t no bullet spray 
pussy shoot your shot bitch 
pull your gun back and cock it 
before your girl does 
she knows how to lock it 
heard you with my old bitch 
yall can be as toxic 
she don’t like no other chick 
so you better watch it 
and she will come for you 
sitting out your crib just watching 

aye enough of that 
i’ll get off your back now
hop onto your girls cause i know she make it clap now 
in a different world when i’m hitting from the back now 
sipping purp mixing pills maybe it’s from that? nah 

[misfit]
i just fucked a bitch last tuesday 
pop a perc that’s a snooze day 
whippin in the foreign down the street causin road rage
deadwood backstage countin money goin dummy codeine in my tummy

me a fiction gon make this shit reality 
talk shit get hit fatality
i do this shit so i can be fuckin proud of me
i’m on go go mode runnin out my box roddy 

me and fiction in this bitch like what’s up 
pussy boy got guts you ain’t got none
ima misfiit but im lit like a pro boo
run up on me wrong move i’ll go fuckin goku
ficfiit this is ficfiit

[fiction]
got me messed up in the face 
feeling like i just got laced 
it wasn’t purp it wasn’t white 
this shit is fate 
i don’t wanna see you talking to me bout what’s fake 
talking all that’s shit but i don’t no bullet spray 
pussy shoot your shot bitch 
pull your gun back and cock it 
before your girl does 
she knows how to lock it 
heard you with my old bitch 
yall can be as toxic 
she don’t like no other chick 
so you better watch it 
and she will come for you 
sitting out your crib just watching 

i know they watching 
i know they watching 
so keep on watching 
keep on watching

toxic (ft. misfiit) (prod. nightiger)

prod by stezzyxl
happy halloween lol 
enjoy

lyrics:
you liked control
i let you drive  
said “it’s fine”
just to stay alive  
you loved the sound of your own lies  
i kept quiet
i don’t know why  

i made a scene in every room  
love found new ways to kill the mood  
you’d twist the truth then act confused ?
like i was wrong for being used  

you post your pain for a couple of likes  
then act above it when someone bites  
you said “i’ve grown” but i see through that  
you changed your hair, not how you act  

you play the victim
rewrite the scene  
pretend it’s art
but you know what it means  
you 
chase validation
i chased my peace  
guess both of us just needed bleh iyddsghns

i still drive by where you stay  
don’t know why just old decay  
you talk about love like it’s new  
but no one buys that shit from you  
  
you waste my breath
you waste my sleep  
the things you take
you never keep  
i gave you time
you gave me pain  
you’d do it all if asked again

SHredded LEtters INterlude (Sewerperson Cover)

lyrics

i don’t even understand why u left is it all my fault?
guilt permeates the air like i didn’t care
now im starting over from scratch why’s all this seem so fucking typical
it’s easier to breathe and stare while i go nowhere

life, keeps fucking me over like left and right
man sometimes i just wanna fuckin die 
i waste my time inside
i barely show my face
i feel so out of place
like an alien up in space
man i just want a taste of a normal life

like how’s i supposed to know
u were gonna go
a target placed on me it’s like u were aiming for my throat
throat, mine closed up i couldn’t say no more
fuck i think i passed out and smacked my head upon the floor

what was i fuckin thinkin huh
love blinded me and it’s obvious 
holdin back tears and it’s bad for us
i’m done
if i can’t count on u
then, then what would u have me do?

i don’t even understand why u left is it all my fault?
guilt permeates the air like i didn’t care
now im starting over from scratch why’s all this seem so fucking typical
it’s easier to breathe and stare while i go nowhere (2x)

typical (sorrowbringer)

LYRICS <3
(PS Love You Guys)

Novocane
Swear my heart is strained
Bite back, yeah my heart is on a race
Won’t give in, til my heart is strained
Don’t feel the same
Call back, cried in sheets of low black

You said “stay” but you never meant it
Heart broke clean, I can’t reinvent it

Sold my soul was given you
stab my neck and call a truce
if loves a lie then im the proof
fell through the snow my lips turn blue

Cig-ash heart, I can’t restart
Cut too deep, now it’s modern art
You fade fast while I fall apart
Still I wait where the wind start

light flicker when i drive too late
rain hit the dash my fate
on wait
you left me in a love
hanging in a love i chase

Novocane
Swear my heart is strained
Bite back, yeah my heart is on a race
Won’t give in, til my heart is strained
Don’t feel the same
Call back, cried in sheets of low black

She got venom on her tongue, I can taste that
Talk sweet, then she run, I can’t take that
White lies in the sun, let the rays crack
Now I’m numb, can’t feel, need a playback
One-sev-one, my heart beat too quick
Dream skip frames when I think too sick
Can’t fix love with a band-aid stitch
So I drift the pain cant sit here and mix

I’ve been floatin’ in my own decay
Prayin’ I don’t fade away
Every word you said still replays

novocane (cxrter x retz)

23 | vox / songwriter & engineer 
i make what i want my music isnt for everyone
@rod / @web fan account

email - m@scars.online

beingsoberfkingsucks

marsmal