Holy shit. This is awesome. Hits so hard in the feels. The lyrics and the music just vibe with me so much

tw: s**cide; pearl cadillac was written on a day when i was reminded that my brain does not work in the ways many brains are intended to by their manufacturers. in fact some perspectives might say it doesn't much at all, however you wish to take that. shout out my many psychiatrists, i'm doing alright, but yesterday was a test. circumstances can be testing. my cortisol may be up there and i'm pretty used to that, but maybe wasn't totally prepared for the dark turns that my mind wanted to take me. maybe i had forgotten the places i had tried to go when i was a kid, and though i am stepping back into a childlike mindset and it feels refreshing and immortal in this mature body, it is ironic that as a kid i was pretty quick to want to give up, pretty convinced i was not enough, not built for this cold planet, and the universe is not afraid to remind me that the feeling exists within me. anyway, take it as a lesson. ignore your issues and you might get cold and hardened. is that the best trade? i am incarnated back into the battle, with many years of experience to bring to the table this time around and i am not afraid. i am more powerful than ever, in all of this bleeding vulnerability. bring it on. thank you for reading.

lyrics:
i just want a cadillac
with so much room in the back
you could lay out in the floor and lose yourself in the roof
and the floors would be padded like i was crazy for dreaming
of sleeping inside this luxury car with limited seating
i hadnt thought much of the car that i really had wanted
until i drove to the bank and saw my funds were frozen
and so i jumped in the driver and drove it out to the open
saw a sign of the clinic which diagnosed me as a broken
as just a silent kid, who felt such strong emotion, gave up books and schoolwork for songs and poems
and at my job, i bring a journal just to bury my nose in between the cars i brush for the rich from open to open,
i leave it open for my coworkers to peek when they want to
read about the fucked up things that nobody wants to, but curiosity will claim  even the kindest of cats
and on the pages you will read i want a pearl cadillac
i want to ride in the back
my tired legs stretched out my head to the blackness that keeps my eyes from the clouds
the walls are velvet and padded, and theres a muffled sound
of the wheels on the cracked, black asphalt ground
and if the path never ends, if we keep on driving,
will they remember me as gifted or remember the silence?
in my shitty investment my fucking ugly chevy, 
the rain is covering the windshield and my brain feels heavy
im parked outside of the bank, its right next to the clinic,
on the way from my job, my pointless drive was suspended for half a minute
as a cop car stopped the traffic, a funeral procession only seconds it lasted 
and ive been so ungrown, my legs are so tired, i wanna know where hes going,
wanna know if its fire or if its happy or snowing or if its empty and sick, my brain is heavy and thick, i need my medicine,
i want a pearl cadillac
a quiet place to sit
another place to go,
though will my body admit?
am i even worthy
or is my dream a joke
a fucking quarter in the fountain
from the fucked up and broke,
Who fucking knows?

pearl cadillac (prod. eeryskies)

you might be right (p. dylvinci & mesa)

STARING AT THE SUN

Hit and Run

Angelfish444.m4a

if a man falls

Cherry Cyanide .m4a

=-=\-dfzvc? @matreahthedisrobed on IG

Someone come and help me cause I’m losing water, thirsty, yeah
I keep sweating, swear to god my bodys bleeding it out, right now,
Fuck, I can’t remember what I thought that I was doing in the moments before darkness
I remember screaming out for help but they were busy and I dont think that they heard me

That’s fine, tears from my clasped eyes, they won’t walk away when they notice all landmines that that im leaving in my place, last ditch effort, knowing that I’m tryna fucking change,
And they hate it , but i do it every day, yeah
I’m well, well I’m lying, in my head, know I can last long, baby get your head up in this lifestyle come on put your hands on me, this wont be our last line
Lifelong, angel tell me you will be there when I flatline?
screaming l-l-lets resuscitate




High on the I40, tryna get to ATL
But I’m bleeding and I’m speeding, oh i think they noticed
Yeah they fucking noticed, i’m about to blow the motor
Hit the fucking gas, but then i saw the traffic slowing, 
Skip them, hit the shoulder, hit the shoulder til its broken,
till its shattered, cause its fucked up,
it don’t matter, if my lucks up,
got my bad girl, and she want it,
does it matter if we’re sunken?
is it sitting with the pain that lets us really know we love it?



If I ever fucking flatline, am I going to hell?


L4ST DITCH EFFORT

trifecta ft echo da misfit, Jaiden

[2020]
prod / mix by me
With @fantasycamp

PROTECT (feat. Fantasy Camp) [2020]

for anyone entering the new year alone.
this is the first ep i've released since "disembodied" my junior year of high school two and a half years ago. sharing my work is difficult, but after months of obsessing over this music, i couldn't leave 2020 without something to show for it.
some of these tracks were recorded in a living room i and another were hobo-ing in. the rest of them were recorded in my bedroom at my mother's house. all of them were written, mixed, and mastered by me, but the beats aren't all leased yet. when they are, the tape will be uploaded to all other streaming platforms shortly after. credit to all the producers who carry this thing.
thank you to anyone who listens. there are unseen months behind this tape, dark times and vulnerable places, self doubts and ugly emotions. this voice is much louder than my own.
with all the struggles in confidence, as isolated as it can be to pursue this, there is no other place i feel free like i do behind a microphone.  in a lonely, confusing and distant world, here is how i reach out to it, express my being and make a claim for its existence.
here is a part of me.

another take

Local artist from Manchester, TN with a devotion to hip-hop, rap, and poetry.

pearl cadillac (prod. eeryskies)

Matreah

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