sophia

matilda cover

I’m standing naked, in front of a crowd 
throwing a tantrum, screaming out 
and the sun doesn’t rise like it used to 
i ignore you, because I have to

I look into everything, when i look in his eyes
it’s you staring at me, my courage dies
and I can not love like I used to
no matter how far I am it comes back to you

Joe, I hope you’re alone, I hope you are hungry 
I hope you are broke 
i hope everyone that you love leaves you
i hate the mean person you turned me into

I don’t know how to fix this
Is this who I am? 
all my kindness has rotted, I don’t like who I am
are you apart of me now? do i carry this shit?
I feel you in the night breezes and I see your face
I hear you breathing when Im awake

Pick up the pieces, crumble under the weight
and everyone asks me, why I would stay 
but I sat in the dark to appease you
you promised you’d chance and I believed you

now I’m sick to my stomach, and high off the hope
I stood there crying while you stared at the floor 
you said I’d do great things, I think I freeze up 
and now i’ll do anything to prove i’m enough

I’m afraid if he touched me, i’d make him drown
crack open my skull, and I’ll pour in your mouth 
i’m sorry I can’t get to know you
if he saw me I think I would run too

I don’t know how to fix this
Is this who I am? 
all my kindness has rotted, I don’t like who I am
are you apart of me now? do i carry this shit?
I feel you in the night breezes and I see your face
I hear you breathing when Im awake

Joe, please let me go
i have been hungry, i’ve lost all hope
i never did anything to you 
if it makes me clean then I’ll forgive you

I don’t know how to fix this
Is this who I am? 
all my kindness has rotted, I don’t like who I am
are you apart of me now? do i carry this shit?
I feel you in the night breezes and I see your face
I hear you breathing when Im awake

Joe’s Waltz DEMO

caught me wishing,
summer swelter and 
i can't sleep

turned out the lights,
picked up my phone,
she had something to say to me

she said, "i've got your number,
i'm in the fears you're voicing,"
picked up the phone and she said

my love, my love
don't fall asleep,
running through the aisles
i've got no more tears to weep

caught me wishing
i could let go and land
on my feet

caught me wishing, in my dreams 
i have everything - holding conversation, 
an ovation at the ease

she said, "i've got your number,
i'm in the fears you're voicing
and if you look around they all
had better choices!"
she said, "i've got your number,
i'm in the fears you're voicing!"
picked up the phone and she said

my love, my love,
don't fall asleep,
running through the aisles
i've got no more tears
to weep

150 (my love)

Charlottesville's Kate Bollinger performs songs from her new EP, Look at it in the Light (Ghostly), and beyond, live in the studio for XPN's Indie Rock Hit Parade.

Produced by Eric Schuman
Photos by Paige Walter
xpn.org // #IndieRockHitParade

Kate Bollinger - Who Am I But Someone (Live at XPN)

the night is ours
and the bonfire too
and it’s burning through

the space between
our eyes and shoes
and it’s new

as my sirens sounding
as my hope is drowning
you just do you
you just do

and if you took away college
the fear of making no profit
it’s just you

kiss me, man
kiss me, man
you’re quicksand
you’re quicksand
come close, babe
closer, babe
don’t wait
please don’t wait

cause my sirens sounding
and my thoughts are crowded
with you
just you

and if you took away music
the fear of staying this useless
it’s just you
just you

kiss me, man
kiss me, man
you’re quicksand
you’re quicksand
come close, babe
closer, babe
don’t wait
please don’t wait

don't wait

Gentle touch across
My rough skin
I'm made of spikes
But you let yourself in
Can I offer a hug
You are my medicine
I can't get enough
Of you, you're healing

All of my wounds
They fade with the seasons
The leaves die out
Like the skin we're shedding
I wish you were closer
If I move I might die
A hedgehog's dilemma
Won't you stay for awhile

All curled up but it's never enough
The space between is far too much
And we stay cold until we’re close enough
Afraid to get hurt but what's one more scar?

Turn to face you and your bright eyes
You feel so warm when we collide
All my fears seem to subside
And I could melt to your mirage
Tangled legs like sprawling roots
How good it feels pressed close to you
Skin on skin to keep us glued
With all the things that we could do

A still-life painting in your room
We could try but what's the use
Sunflower stems our limbs let loose
If I'm alive this is the proof

The Hedgehog (and the Sunflower)

i don’t really know why
my biggest fear was working a 9 to 5
when our love was gasping for air
i dont really know why
i’m standing here on my birthday night
and you’re standing over there

i gotta take time
put in the work
and i don’t really know if it’s sposed to hurt
but i hope you’ll love me still

i waste time
trying to feel
the love and all the wounds i’m trying to heal
but i know you’ll love me still

and love you i will
i’ll still love you still

i don’t really know why
my biggest fear was running out of time
when our love was dying in my arms
i dont really know why
it’s torture forcing myself to watch you cry
knowing i did the harm

and babe there’s no amount of “sorry”
to fix the wreck i made
and there’s no amount of apologizing
oh, i gotta take

take time
put in the work
and i don’t really know if it’s s’posed to hurt
but i hope you’ll love me still

i waste time
trying to feel
the love and all the wounds i’m trying to heal
but i know you’ll love me still

and love you i will
i’ll still love you still

i waste time
trying to feel
the love and all the wounds i’m trying to heal
but i know you’ll still love me still

lets still love us still (demo)

the war is over
i’ve packed my bags and disappeared
no closure
what’s the chance that i’m still here?
and you wanna know
if there really is a chance you’re going home
well, i’ve got news for you

that i’m the single tear that starts the tide
the creeping fear that sleeps with you tonight
and when the sun decides to finally rise
i’ll catch you every now and then
we’ll talk about what could’ve been
and how you never got to say goodbye

oh your sirens
are sounding off
when i’m firing
my cannonballs
cause they’re all your sound of hope
when your feelings
are borderline
disappearing
i’m still in your mind
cause i’m all you’ll ever know
oh in isolation
there’s no point in
faking
you’re cutting it close
and you don’t know where you’re go-ing
you won’t ever know
ever know
no

take a look at you
and tell me you’re not hoping
if you want the truth
you’ll need a diagnosis
but i don’t see
you going when you’ve always thought that you have known it
so i’ve got news for you

oh your sirens
are sounding off
when i’m firing
my cannonballs
cause they’re all your sound of hope
when your feelings
are borderline
disappearing
i’m still in your mind
cause i’m all you’ll ever know
oh in isolation
there’s no point in
faking
you’re cutting it close
and you don’t know where you’re go-ing
you won’t ever know
ever know
no

single tear rough demo

i probably stole these melodies from somewhere

tell me you’re listening
i keep you in foremost front parts of my mind
last night was different
you should promise the first time was the last time

you do things in the moment
when you don’t know if you mean them
when i let down my defenses
pull you out of the deep end
the breaking starts

down at the skatepark
kickflippin under over my heart
kickflippin under over twisting turning burning breaking my heart
that’s where it starts

sat on memorial benches in homestead
you joke that you’ll leave one for us when we’re both dead
and gone, ashes in homes
the spark on the fuse grew alongside your nose

and i know that’s impossible
so i'll be responsible and
take half the blame, i'll play your game
if you take back your bench, i’ll try not to miss

comfortable silence
the biggest smiles after a kiss
kickflippin sleeping over kissing learning hurting like little kids
i’ll try not to miss

oh why’d you do things in the moment
when you had what you called perfect
now i don’t know if you meant it
now i’m the one in the deep end
you broke my heart

down at the skatepark
kickflippin under over my heart
kickflippin under over twisting turning burning breaking my heart
can’t we restart

skatepark kickflippin except ive been sick for a week and almost lost my voice

life is too stressful, either I run away, or take salvia and become a fish for 30 years. i would like that..

single tear rough demo

Max Bass