guitar by me

monsters
inside my walls
they like break me
down
until i crawl
save me
i think i lost
the war between
myself and i
leave me here to rot
i’ll take u back any day
with no second thought 
do u ever feel the same
would u kill for just a day
for us
to meet
once again

walls

@xobroken @jolst


and i can tell when you're lying
you can see it in your eyes
you can see it in your smile
fucking hate when you're vile

its like you get a fucking knife
and you stab me in the vital

ur only nice on your birthday
get your cards and open them up
the writing on the inside are lies open it up

and i dont wanna feed your ego
if i could get out of here
id be heathrow

guess i pay the price now
fuck it its a time out
i just turn the light out
tell me whats important
6 in the morning
i left in the morning
i just want a foreign

"take a seat"
i dont wanna sit down
ive been all up on my mind
n idk where im going

dont act like you know
dont act like you know whats going on
cause you fkn dont

It’s a cycle
She hit my vitals
No survival 
Expect apologies when I’m dying, ya so entitled
Feelin like I lost myself since your arrival
Saw this Shit coming but I was in denial

I been deceased 
She not missing me
Turned into fiend
Full of grief
Xanax make me lean
Weak up in the knees
Puffin trees
Just to get some sleep
Unable to dream
White tee
Blood drippin on me

Didn’t see you leaving, what should I expect? Im so dead,  there’s no way to resurrect me
Said you loved me 
Then you left
What’s is that?
Everything’s a mess

smile w/ xobroken (jolst x radkoun)

lyrics

i spend every waking moment trying to pick myself up cause im falling apart
just to get back into it the very next day but you heal my soul up in the dark
id try to do it myself but i wouldnt know where to start
save me from hurting my heart baby
i want you to love me
i want you to touch me
and whenever im blinded by this shit be my ears and my eyes whenever i cant see
i hope that you need me
i hope you can hear me
i hope you can grab me and pick me off my feet
just to knock me down again

and i never rest well, i hope that my healths well
if future repeats itself then i know this wont end well
my mouths on fire sipping in this hotel
oh you know me so well
we cant make this farewell

could we make the last time count
everything you say everything i hear right now
save me from myself would you take it back somehow
you don't need to worry i just need to come back down
look where weve been cause im closer to death
i see you laugh when youre talking to him
you got your movies and i got my friends
but im tasting salt in the water again
hold me down
hold me still
is this the place where we begin

and i never rest well, i hope that my healths well
if future repeats itself then i know this wont end well
my mouths on fire sipping in this hotel
oh you know me so well
we cant make this farewell

i play you the song that saved my life but you scroll on your phone
and i cant give everything up for this career to just die unkown
unwillingly, willingly killing my body so leave me alone
ill just stay at home
i hope you can find me there

health w/ greenwood (p. jacob vallen)

this is probably my favorite song I've ever made, and it means a lot to me.

if you've made it here, please like & repost as it helps other people who might relate to my music find it

ty to all who listen <3
prod. michael harrison

**lyrics**
I miss when
We would talk
And we'd sit on that curb till it
Got too dark
For us
My hand in yours, I still feel numb
Why'd you say those words to me?
When everything was better off unsaid

I cant take this breath
If it means i could still be alive

I dont really wanna die I just want a warm embrace
Looking at ya' from the sky but i cant see your face
Babe It's just another ride, you know Ima be okay
But man i hope they hear my cry when i finally break
(x2)

If I turned around, would you call your friend?
I hate who I was but I'm better again
I cant stand the silence, you're my medicine
It's starting to rain, would you just take my hand
(x2)

I miss when
We would talk
And we'd sit on that curb till it
Got too dark
For us
My hand in yours, I still feel numb
Why'd you say those words to me?
When everything was better off unsaid

I cant take this breath
If it means i could still be alive

limerence (michael harrison)

lyrics//

iv been talking to god
iv been doing my part like you told me

was it always so hard
i know you think you were always controlling
but it was never thay part
i saw a light and it killed me slowly
and now im packing my car
i made you think
you dont even know me


i was lost in the fallout
you pushed me down as i climbed out
or tried to
ivy league to the dog house
wonder what they would say
if they got to?

now my comforters stained out
took it all to the grave like i told you
was i always a let down?
was i always a person that you once knew?

fallout [idly blare]

Repeat Until, Death

Black tar around my body weight
Dark circles round ur eyes 
U would think that we where made this way
But
It disappeared when u where mine 
No way u could get over this
There’s no way I could survive 
I’ll pretend that I got over it 
But 
my heart is still so full of spite 

It’s so late 
And it’s so dark out 
Are you home yet ? 
It’s not safe out now
Are you home yet ? 
Can you not let me know?
Did you find somebody else who’s gonna fill my role 

You should lay here beneath me
In a forest, near the wood
And try to imagine 
All the things that we could 
Should

Black tar around my body weight
Dark circles round ur eyes 
U would think that we where made this way
But
It disappeared when u where mine 
No way u could get over this
There’s no way I could survive 
I’ll pretend that I got over it 
But 
my heart is still so full of spite

one listen, before you sleep

i'll let you cut as much as you like 

prod: https://soundcloud.com/prodcxrter https://soundcloud.com/tiedforsilver
extra production / master: https://soundcloud.com/vito2300

two months,
i can't write nothing at all
gave up on having someone to call 
fake blood still left a stain on the wall
fake love still left a hole in my heart
stuck in the middle 
i wait for it to eat me alive
it stings a little 
it kills me when you treat me so nice 
go grab the sickle 
i'll let you cut as much as you like 
(as you like, as you like)

i don't wanna be selfish 
but god i hate myself 
and i can't help it 
you made me lose my mind 
i wish you felt it
and i can't even cry
the things i dealt with 
i dealt with
leaving you behind me,
hope you like your side piece
i look so unsightly
that's why i'm always hiding
i don't think they like me 
most times it don't surprise me
think about it nightly 
keep damaging my psyche

lately i don't even give a fuck about the music
it's just enough that i do it 
one day i might lose it 
don't have enough to get through it
like oh, it's okay if you wanna let go 
spill blood, wake up on the floor 
we're done but i hate you more
he don't ever wanna wait one second 
so dumb, shoulda learned my lesson
those words he said he meant it 
but i'm stuck on the way he said it 
so soft, so soft
and after everything i gave you
you're still gone
still gone

i don't wanna be selfish 
(i don't wanna be selfish no more)
but god i hate myself 
and i can't help it 
(can't help it)
you made me lose my mind 
i wish you felt it
(you felt it)
and i can't even cry
the things i dealt with 
(i dealt with)
i dealt with
leaving you behind me,
(behind)
hope you like your side piece
i look so unsightly
that's why i'm always hiding
i don't think they like me 
most times it don't surprise me
think about it nightly 
keep damaging my psyche

i hate myself 
like nobody else
and i hate you 
much more than you do 
forgive me god
no matter the cost
i can't stop 
no i can't stop

unsightly

https://youtu.be/BzPPe_5-HKo?si=W1tX_5v4gciDd_SH
produced by melon

got green leaves around me, just reminds me of your eyes
theyre looking very lovely, there's tears coming out of mine
feeling really sad, all i do declined
go to bed with you being on my mind
on my mind (yeah ur on my mind)
mind (i love you)

i wonder if someday ill feel better inside
living day by day, it is hard to get by
you know how it is when all these feelings collide
i know i might be wrong, cant put my feelings aside
show me everything
everywhere you go (oh where you go)
i dont know where you been
all my life long (all my life long)

you dont understand i need you in my life
you dont understand i need you in my life
you dont understand i need you in my life

no matter what lays on your heart
speak with me, find a way out
i do care cos i love you
i know it gets really hard
trust me ur beautiful im proud of you
when the world is giving up on you
give my heart only to you
want you to keep it safe
for now and ever babe
give my heart to you
im scared to say
i love you

i wish we could go to the woods
do you even like me?
im insecure, cover of the book
i try to hide me
bright shades of green
face on a screen
but i miss you around
walk by the creek
hear the birds sing
they sing ur beautiful song

green

Can’t say ur not breaking me
It takes all that I have 
Just to sleep and then wake again
Barely eat cause I can’t 
My body’s not made for this
Cause half of it is urs
Remember when I said
“For this girl that I adore”
Ur nothing but memories 
Keep
Pulling me apart 
I could never be used to this
It’s only the start 
Recently deleted 
Select all
Confirm delete em 
1000 images or more 
And I don’t need to see em
Cause They’re all memorised 
I’m burning through these highs 
u don’t even ask how I am 
it feels like nothings right 
Fuck this u never tried
Try to see thru my eyes
The way I suffer every morning
U don’t ask me nein 
“Why u awake so late”
I’m Just talking to friends 
U won’t believe a single thing my mouth has ever said 

Cause it’s so late
And it’s so dark out
Are you home yet ?
It’s not safe out now

There’s no place
For someone like me 
In ur life
So I should focus on being alone
All the time
And babe it’s okay
I promise it’s fine
I’ll be fine
I cannot shake this feeling to die
I should die
How could we say it’s us till we die 
How should I know
And I can say this without any lines
With my eyes closed
Cause I mean it
This isn’t a story 
I can’t go back to the start 
And ur leaving
Moved on while I’m shuffling cards 

There’s no place
For someone like me 
In ur life
So I should focus on being alone
All the time
And babe it’s okay
I promise it’s fine
I’ll be fine
I cannot shake this feeling to die
I should die

select all, confirm, delete

away from my reach in a land I can’t get to
Give you my all, I hope that’s enough for you
Cause I don’t price myself too highly
I hope this is more than good timing 
After all that I’ve loved
And all that I’ve lost
Passing away from me, I can’t give up
Now
Though it feels like somebody wants me to try
I’m never worth it, overstay my time

I’ve been made to believe 
That everything that I do 
Is not enough, it’s never right
So please forgive me, always apologising 
Over little things, it’s not worth it

Hide your face
In between my arms
And pull me closer
It’s not enough if I can still breathe 
Then fall asleep right next to me

Find myself falling so deep in your eyes
Start to get lost, oh I swear that it’s fine
Cause you don’t want nothing to do with me, right ? 
That’s what I tell myself all of the time

Hold me to let go, and swear it’s an accident 
I wouldn’t notice, I’m not that intelligent 
If you wanna hurt me, it doesn’t take all that much 
Get it over with, I don’t have room to trust
Anybody here except from you
Why should I be giving out when I lose
There’s nothing I’d rather be held by 
Just focus on tracing your hairline 

Hide your face
In between my arms
And pull me closer
It’s not enough if I can still breathe 
Then fall asleep right next to me

green

melon

Recent comments

mikxoxo

everlasting..

evergarden ❀

mix≬

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