Nephilim

Malxcxous’s Favorites

Lyrics: 

Sitting here in fear of myself
Thinking back I can’t deal with my health
I been dying for a long time
I Can’t remember when I smiled 
Where’s the sunshine

Been feeling sick lately
I quit the drugs 
But I want them to save me 
I’m running out of ways to end the pain 
I know it’s temporary 
But it’s better than to escape 
Permanently
That feeling alone 
Is eating at me 
Hurting me 
When I’m alone 
By myself 
No one to call for help 
Kicking back thinking who the fuck can help
Stuck in a trance staring at the ceiling 
Waiting for a way to advance 
MOVE FORWARD 

But I keep looking back
All the smoke around me 
Make me wanna relapse 
Fall back into habits 
Ruin my life 
Yeah I might crashhhhhh out 
Go from doing small time drugs 
To getting promoted now 
I’m moving up
Along the way meet H 
Put her in my arm 
Maybe fuckin escape
Pain is un-wavered  
I’m Sinking deeper 
No taper
I don’t wanna save myself
And I ain’t weaning off 
I’m going head first 
No bitch you can’t save me 
from myself 
I know I can’t backtrack 
from the road to hell
I can’t even stick around 
long enough 
To start feeling well again
I can’t fucking understand 
It’s like I’ve been fated from the beginning 
To fast track to the end 
Now It’s all I think about 
And I know myself too well
But this time there’s no way out
Only one path to walk 
And I gotta move forward
Maybe it’ll get better 
But I fuckin Doubt it 
But I don’t wanna be 
stuck in my head 
Any longer 
No more 
No more

Relapse

🔥💀🔥

Lyrics:

It seems like every fear 
I have becomes personified 
I bring my demons to life 
Manifesting shit I never want 
With ease
Still doing as I please 
But I’m on my knees 
Begging and pleading 
Still searching for another reason
Waiting for the last straw
Knowing that will 
Be the one thing 
To make me end it all
Been waiting for a while 
Yet all I can do is smile
That’s why I’m malicious 
And I can claim that 
for a while I was happy
Seeing all the bridges built 
Just to see em all collapsing 
Seeing everything crumble 
around me
Wonder if I should’ve 
Stopped the world 
I see my destination 
Got failure all around me 
Nothing but sorrow and grief 
surrounds me
But to release some pain
Anger fueled 
I’m rowdy 
Looking for my 13th reason
Writing this song 
Like it’s the finale of the season
Waiting for every bit of treason 
Seeing the snakes around me 
Recognizing everything 
It seems so profound 
Yet always simplistic 
Bitches call me sadistic 
But I say I’m Malxcxous
That’s why I named myself 
This shit 
Take me deeper into the mist 
Drown me in the depths of every pit
Bitch

Spawn

11th Track as well as the final for the album.

This one is my favorite💜

{P.S. I’ve already started working on a new album and it’s way different from what you normally would expect.. stay ready, be waiting.}

Lyrics:

I’m saying fuck it
I’m saying fuck it 
I’m saying fuck it 
I’m saying fuck it

Fuck it all 
I been tryna put a cease and desist to my feelings 
Think daily about the art 
I could create on the ceiling 
I feel like I’m bleeding constantly on the inside
I been tryna burn my ties
I got this slow burning candle 
And it’s consuming all of your lies
I had a big heart 
But I think you have destroyed it 
I’m either tired of feeling 
Or sitting in the void and
Feeling avoided
Must destroy myself 
It’s the only way out to this hell 
Fuck everything 
Let me just decay
I gotta let go 
completely 
to really let go 
If ya know what I mean…

It ain’t just a fuckin dream
Because I live through it all daily 
Stuck in reality 
Couple bottles may save me
Or they may increase my problems 
Only one way to solve em..
Order more bottles
Order more bottles
Order more bottles

Fuck It/Order More Bottles

Glitchcore Baby💜

Lyrics:

It all makes sense now
Put a filter over my eyes
Let me be obsessed wow
Pure beauty baby
I got hearts up in my eyes
Pink and blue sky 
Cotton candy dreams 
Come and see me 
tonight when I dream

I’m trying to get over you
But every time I see you 
I fall back into the same old trance
It’s like I’m skydiving in my heart 
But I can’t land 
I know how I’m going to suffer 
when I see the end

Tell me it isn’t fucking true
I don’t think in this lifetime 
I’ll ever get over you
Even if only get one text
Makes My heart go a flutter 
Butterflies in my body 
Make my mind wonder off

I think I’m stuck in this
Love paradise
I can’t even see you tonight 
Maybe it’s paralysis 
Babe I must be dreaming 
Every thought of you 
Got my mind screaming 

Why oh why
Can’t I make up my mind 
Why oh why 
Am I wasting my time
Why oh why
Am I still in love 
It’s been so much shit 
But I’m praying to the heavens above

Maybe I’m naive 
Maybe I’m feeling nothing 
Maybe it’s a lie 
And maybe I’m made for no one
Maybe it’s a lie 
And I’m made for no one

My Heart (Is Broken)

More Glitchcore!!! 💜

Lyrics:

I been fading fast
You been running through 
my mind like the flash 
Still trying 
To keep it together

Still striving to do better
But my mind been under the weather

Got dark clouds surrounding me 
Feel the darkness taking hold of my heart
Recently I got a spark 
But it died so fast
Now I’m low key falling apart
I know you see the hurt in my eyes 
I’m kind of waiting for someone to save my life
I don’t know where I’m going now
Thinking bout putting myself down

I’m hanging on the edge 
Gripping on life 
Struggling everyday 
Just to sleep at night 
Put a film over my eyes
Tell me it’ll be okay 
If the worst thing happens 
Please just don’t hate me
Don’t hate me

I been fading fast
You been running through 
my mind like the flash 
Still trying 
To keep it together

Still striving to do better
But my mind been under the weather

Got dark clouds surrounding me 
Feel the darkness taking hold of my heart
Recently I got a spark 
But it died so fast
Now I’m low key falling apart

I’m low key falling apart 
Low key falling 

I’m hanging on the edge 
Gripping on life 
Struggling everyday 
Just to sleep at night 
Put a film over my eyes
Tell me it’ll be okay 
Tell me it’ll be okay

Fading

Lyrics:

Baby I got scars
Can’t cover em up 
Cause there’s too many 
I think I’m falling apart

Tryna find a cycle 
That’s healthy for myself 
But I know I ain’t no idol 
I been coming down 

Now I’ve come back to myself 
If I could go back in time 
I’d just delete myself 
Ctrl alt delete 

Yeah turn the power off
I been tryna die 
And this ain’t the fuckin start

I been in the depths for a while yeah yeah
I been tryna show myself that I got style 
I been doing me but lately I’m just sitting idle
Nothing to fucking do 
except drown in my sorrows

Yea woah
I’m falling apart 
But you don’t know what I mean
Babe it’s getting worse
I can tell it’s not just me 
I’m suffering every waking minute 
I’m getting closer to the edge

I’m tryna bide my time 
But I’m writing the credits to the end
Had a yellow notebook 
that was labeled suicide 

I was writing death notes 
but they were to myself
Give away my things like 
I don’t need em now

All these useless things that I have 
Can’t keep me happy 
Looking at our pictures 
And I’m crying and laughing 

Reminiscing about the old times
Silly little adventures for a way to unwind
I’d do it all again 
Even if it meant it would all be the same in the end
 the same in the end

Scars

Lyrics: 

Light up my fucking world 
Light up my fucking world
I been seeing only darkness
My feelings they been haunted 

I been trying to move past it all 
But it’s like you got me hooked 
Baby string me along
I’m okay with being hurt 

Cause the pain is temporary 
But help me feel safe 
In your sanctuaries 

Yea
Help me feel safe 
Even if it’s temporary 

I’ve been complacent 
And I’m okay with myself 
I can do it all 
Except for help myself

I’m begging and pleading 
I know I need you 
Life without you became so full of gloom
Depression got me tweakin

I don’t know how long my life force 
Can’t handle being without you again
I’m okay with being nothing 
As long as I’m with you

I wanna do it all again
Do you love my hyper pop
Take me back to October 
Yea When we fell in love 

Let me stare into your ocean blue eyes 
Let me sink deep in the ocean baby
I swear that’s all I need
You breathe life into me 

But without you my body stays asleep

Glitterbomb

Lyrics:

My world been turned upside down 
But somehow I kept smiling 
My thoughts staying violent 
I’m still suffering in silence 

Keep every emotion acquitted 
I’ve kept em locked down 
In love with the color violet 
I been searching through my pictures 

Found a few surprises 
Doesn’t matter cause now I’m single 
Oh well 
but it’s still got my feelings divided 
Trying to stay strong for myself and others 

No I never cared about you 
people who judging
I’ve been in isolation before
I’ve been locked away 
Mentally and physically 

Go ahead and throw the key away
No matter what I say baby
I already know it wouldn’t matter anyway
Been sitting by myself 

Caught a bit of self reflection 
With or without you 
Ima still keep flexing 
Everything I did with you

Im tryna do without you 
But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss you
Even after everything 
I know I’d still come back 

I’m weak at heart baby 
I know you’ve always known that
Never one for a spectacle 
You know I’m self conscious 

Lying to myself when 
I’m saying there’s no option
I’m just used to how things used to be 
I fucking miss it all so much 

I’d give anything 
I’d even give my life for it 
If you really want it 
I’m down to die for it

But I know you wouldn’t want that
For me 
I’m just tired of being alone 
You’re the closest thing 

I’ve had that felt like a home

My World =[

This is the legacy I’m leaving behind. 

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