RapPads Battles & Diss Tracks Vol 1

Favorite Rap Battles

things i'm in (not in order)

CAST:
Dwight Schrute - Eric The Audible
Jimmy Neutron - @snakebite126
Mixed By: Jacob G.
Prod. by KingEF

LYRICS

Dwight:
This is Dwight Schrute, I’ll interrupt before you’ve done your spittin’
Serving you so good this scuffle will be dun...der mifflin
If you are not satisfied, I’ll continue attacking ya 
With bears, beats, and battle bars to rap at ya

Making it Rainn, that paper ream
Peep it on Peacock, they pay per stream
Your Planet Sheen cemented you as a fad 
A sitting wooden duck who couldn’t spend time with his dad

What an abomination. Your eyes and eyebrow placement
That’s the objective face of god awful animation
I’ve beaten machines, I’ll crush any electronic toy
So follow the procedure and runaway, rocketboy

Jimmy:
You’ve hit a new low - Leaping Leptons!
But like I’m in the warehouse peeping you’ll get caught
Even in your show you’re the butt of every Jim joke
So stroll me through the logic behind battling ‘gainst Jimbo


The win you own is sharing homes with Angela
Were manager, then the script scranton strangled ya
I find it funny you’re the one mocking my rockets
Cause no crash could be more awful than your office when Mike dropped it

So you’re amish but psychotic? At this point no one knows
This suck up turned sociopath to work plots for his show
But you weren’t working alone, that's why I shall propose
Maybe your farming roots put the Mose before hoes

Dwight:
False! But nice try using your five head’s entire mind
My rhyming's styled after Ryan - fire guy
Like Carl with your mom I can sense your thirst
Your third grade crush is bound to leave your bubble burst

Jimmy:
Your decline was worse, try to bare in mind this lesson
Keeping your work can’t stop a hairline recession
And after that show ended you dropped off like half your cast
Left you out to the dogs, so Goddard we gotta blast!

Central Rap Battles: Jimmy Neutron vs. Dwight Schrute

CAST:
Kronk - Seth W.
Norm - Eric The Audible
Doofenshmirtz - Dustin
Yzma - Jacob G.

Written By: Eric The Audible
Mixed By: Jacob G.

Production: Laysi

Lyrics:

Kronk (0:15)
Uhh, Norm? It’s a displeasure for me to meet ya 
Been sent to beat ya on the beat with wicked schemes to appease Yzma 
So when I’m flaming and grilling you all with a chef’s kiss
Just know it’s only because you’re next on her vex list

As a man in love I get that it’s unpredictable, beautifully mystic, but my gods
You’d blush at a fridge in the kitchen and then go up to hit on it like “nice cogs”
Pinnochio knows that you’re not a real boy, man, this battle’s gonna be another one of your foiled plans
Cause Kronk’s got the groove like the flu so poignant, you could confuse it with Kuzco’s Poison


Norm 
I’ll have no choice if a Burton voice decides to war with me 
I’ll be storming your beach and destroying the peace from above with the forces of Norm and D 
That’s my father, the doctor, if you happened to miss the catch 
Though with that rapping I have to ask you why would you even pick this match 

Should I self-deprecate? You have nothing to diss me on 
Because between us I’d be the reason kids still have Disney on
Already proven I can spit in show, Liquid Gold; check my Tin Man flow
I know you like to talk to mammals, look below the table there’s no platypus that can stop how I spin this, yo

But Kronk I get it; you just wished to make this song better
Lucky for us you went and pulled upon my wrong lever
And with my weaponry I suggest you start gunning back
To Yzma to explain just how apt you are at running tracks

Kronk (1:30)
He’s got a point there, what? no he doesn’t
We literally ran track in High School, oh well I guess he does then
But his flattery won’t matter he’s still hated by his creator
Doof produced that self-destruct button, but it’s time that I terminate a

Robotic freak who wants to tussle, well I ain’t scared of ya!
Cause you fail at everything that you try: state-area



Norm:
My calculations state I’m the only emcee in this place
So if you would like to talk that way, please say it straight to my face


(Ad lib some fighting words)

Doof and Yzma:
Norm!  Kronk!

(Ad lib need to leave for whatever reason)

Central Rap Battles: Kronk vs. Norm

----------------------------------------------------------------
CREDITS: 
Written By: Eric The Audible, Mason G.
Mixed By: Nathan Provost
Art By: Matthew Thomas
Production By: MTC Beatz

----------------------------------------------------------------
CAST:
Fightmarker - Alex Jones
Eric The Audible - Carl Azuz
Intern - Nathan Provost

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Alex Jones (0:10)
They’re coming after me - the establishment 
So tell me whose this satanist im rap battlin’
CNN? I ain’t afraid of you liars
Cause in this “mostly peaceful” rap all my rhymes will be fire!

Carl Azuz (0:21)
Judging by the awfully biased hatred you spew, 
You're the age of information gone straight down the tube, 
So I get why Google and Twitter would have you removed 
Now I’ll strike you down too, like I’m Carl A-Zeus

Sources say your info’s fictional - we’ll see it again
We keep the news legit - CNN 10/10
And like his legal team, Jones is always on the defense
We’ll clarify for your audience: y’all these shots ain’t pretend

Conning old men about fake “info wars”
But when it comes to conmen you’re the intro course
I’d say keep it calm man, when you misinform
But you get hopping mad over frog intercourse

Alex Jones (0:52)
You deny it’s the deep state who’s feeding ya
But I’ve survived smears from the fake news media
I’m standing right here, collect and kill me with the patriots!
You waste class time, but my freedom? you ain’t taking it

This just in folks, got brand new info
That Carl Hackzus is in the sex-with-pigs cult
He cuts their entrails, (yuck) snips the ends off 
Then goes to a Chinese Palace where him and his friends talk

They take the blood of goblins, mixed with carbonic acid
Sip it with the Clintons and rich people with Iraqi accents
They chat about eradicating the lower classes 
And cash in on aborted fetuses to buy Masonic assets!

(WOOF) On your trail - wolf blood - I’m the alpha male 
Strike with a mic and a rifle, you will not prevail
I’m going viral, want the cure for the best offer go
To infowars.com and order 4 quarts of testosterone 

Like the CDC on this beat, grab your mask please
You couldn’t control me with a million vaccines
If I'm the mad dog you say, I'd rather stay deranged
Than submit to clark kent who's been hit with beta rays

Carl Azuz:
I’d spend our last segment going through that rap wreckage 
But kids can see through your conspiracy: that’s fact - check it 
I’m just a humble journalist, so I should give you props
For being the first English news outlet posted by Russian bots

I mean you’re going viral all right, and your fans stay loyal
You gave them COVID-19 and then your snake oil
But shoutout to Central High School, I’ve been Carl Azuz
This is CNN 10 - sorry for the old news!

Central Rap Battles: Alex Jones vs. Carl Azuz

Rap Shit It Out Musically  Apollo Diss

Hometown Proud Maverick Diss

Minnesota Vs Everybody DRnova & DJ Melcolm

DRnova Vs Mock5 Battle 1

M Savage And Ish Talker Diss

Freshy Kanal: GHOST RAP CYPHER ft. Cam Steady, NemRaps, Chi-chi, HalaCG & More

Steady Cam - Luigi
Emi Jones - Tails

LYRICS:
Tails: (0:14)
An engineer of lyrics, never fearin’ any test
Appears that Mario is missing so I’m facing second best
Pest, this fox is feastin’ on this fat furry raccoon
And judging by how much you stink, I can see why you’re number 2 (oo!)
It’s Coward vs. Prower, you don’t want to play bro,
I’ll be flying high and storming ya like a tornado (HA!)
I’ll pass it to the plumber but nobody gives a crap
Cause you already took an L when you put on that hat

Luigi:
Usually I wouldn’t battle little kids like you
But based on your youth you’re used to being bullied and abused
I’m exterminating you, just call me animal control
And son you best respect your elders, you’re just 8 years old
An inventor like yourself should realize you’ve been one upped
It doesn’t take a genius to compare our ratings and our sums
Soar all that your heart desires, you’ll still wind up under
When a fox with Astraphobia flies his plane into Green Thunder!

Tails: (1:08)
With all your fireballs you still can’t make a proper roast
You sucked so much that you would think that you were rapping against a ghost

Luigi:
In terms of games, I’ve got the most, I’ve been a pro since the first day
While you were meant for gamer’s little bros too young to really play

Tails: (1:22)
Your blatant cruelty towards animals deceives me
Don’t you got a Yoshi to go raise Mamma Luigi?

Luigi:
Oh so you talking down to me acting like that you are all tough?
Kid, you look like something I would where as a power up

Tails: (1:35)
You must be afraid, but I know you can’t run away
Cause the numbers say that my IQ is the same size as your weight
Your year came and went so no matter how hard you try to flow
You’ll forever be recognized as the Green Mario

Luigi:
You’re a freak of nature with those tails spinning ‘round
I think it’s time that this defected dog is finally put down
You’re Adventure ends here, I’ll use all my star power
To be sure your speed now reads No Miles Prower

Luigi vs. Tails - Video Game Rap Battle

Gorillaz VS Homestuck

Watch the video release here!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2E7UoyNfng

hee hee hee :)

Nekomancer as 2-D
Mancha as Sollux Captor

Sollux Captor:
the2e humanz call them2elve2 goriillaz? now what 2en2e doe2 that make
but who care2, there’2 no way you’ll wiin wiith paper for braiin2
kiidnapped every other week, no wonder your liife’2 lamentable
you thiink you’re meteor than me? you were liiterally a vegetable
you can’t 2urviive my optiic bla2t. thii2 2tu-pot ii2 2tupiid!
leave you wiith three dent2 iin your head once ii’m through wiith you, kiid!
from the voiice2 ii hear ii know that your death ii2 comiing
waiit...whiite eye2? 2hiit, are you already dead or 2omethiing?

2-D:
The sky’s falling Captor, drop out of this ‘fore it crash
Must be a Ghost Rapper with those unlively lines you spat
Trying to get through your slog of a story is hardly fun
It’s just a Sex Murder Party starring Kids With Guns
I’ll win this in a Blur, this beekeeper can’t throwdown
You’re blinded to the fact that your Last Frontier is Now Now
Program raps all you want, it’ll end just the same
‘Cause in this Game of Death you’ll be KO’d again

Written by Vivian
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Produced by Kustom

2-D VS Sollux Captor | RAP BATTLE!

ok so, holy fuck, our reboot's finally here my boys! (and girls, lol)
Trakked as Kano
Jade as Klaue
Beat by 2Deep
Mixed by Dustin
Thumbnail by Trakked
Writers: Trakked, Redacted

Battle:
Kano:
Face the Black Dragon clan, and the Black Market man, 
with gettin’ a knife even deeper than Black Panther's father can.
I mean, you’re small fry, I’ll leave a shrimp fried with rhymes,
Taken by an evil cat, yet I’ve survived bullets for my crimes!
You’re pathetic, an unethical mess that I’m tryna face
Stole some tech from the Wakandans, and Klaue’s still put in his place!
So c’mon chump, I haven’t seen much o’ what ya can do
With or without the Klaw, you’re a shame to the MCU

Klaue:
Shoulda hopped into prison, but either way I’ll leave ya Cage-d
It’s safe to say you’re pretty weak with your arse kicked by Blade
Sonya’ll be doubting your own legacy and survival
When you face a Marvel even stronger than my comic rivals
It’s ironic, since the Genesis of your Superman stealings,
You tried the heart of being brutal, before you Wrecked it with Ralph dealings.
Now your rolling dice, rapping like your in a crappy mixtape,
So, go crawl back in your Kano-ball and accept your re-alitity fate.

Kano:
Alright, mate, you got me pissed now, your design shoulda stayed robotic
Ya got 2 measly cameos while we’ve had 11 installments!
This’ll be your Armageddon when I spit sick on this mic
But it’s not unlike the time when Killmonger took ya life
With a knife, I’ll cut your heart out, I’m a stone-cold assassin
I’m spittin’ venom like a Kobra! But I thrashed his ass too in the trashbin
Let’s see this eye-to-eye; I’ll shoot ya down with my beams
But this War won’t be Civil when I bring this Kombat to the screen

Klaue:
Oh please, at least my movie was successful, yours went down the drain
This Mortal lost his fight ever since the first game!
Couldn’t bring a hard-hitting punchline, but you’re from a fighting series?
‘Cos your questionable spectacles just bring up more queries!
Like, how does a guy with a robot eye fail overseeing being harmed?
My vibranium’s stronger than steel; i don’t even need to be armed!
So, keep this in mind whenever you try to betray your king again
Fights with me always go South, Korean ya into PAIN.

Kano vs Ulysses Klaue - Rap Cypher: REBOOT Premiere

Tomura Shigaraki : Swoldow EVGRB 
SCP-049 : Nekomancer

Beat Prod. : Tristan 
Mixed by : The Supah Master
Written by Kamren, Swoldow EVGRB, and Nekomancer
Idea inspired by Nooby
New Logo by Uncredited

Tomura Shigaraki : 
It seems that I'll be needing no assistance from my League of Villains
When I face the most overrated creature that his website's ever written!
You used to be tolerable, then you're added to Regalis's dropped fad
And now the only thing you infect is the contents of a preteen girl's Wattpad!
I mean just look at yourself, Mr. HoodedEdgyBirdAtHotTopic
With all the fanfics about yourself, your corpses aren’t the only ones rotten
Used to be compared to Creepypastas, never heard a connection stupider
When I've seen numbered docs done better from cryptic Youtubers

SCP-049:
Bonjour, je suis ton docteur pour aujourd'hui, Shigaraki;
Sent to cure the selfish brat who whines when he doesn't get his way
This doctor goes Hamm on the mic, with bars more fire than Dabi's flames
Got ill rhymes of my own compared to this subject testing for the Plague

Tomura Shigaraki :
Sheesh, I don't remember this one being converted to a Nomu
But with your ceased brain activity, I guess there's no difference for you
I'm surprised I could understand your writing, turn to your journals for example
Forget Euclid, this is one Keter threat your foundation can never handle 

SCP-049 : 
This literal walking facepalm proves why his league’s ruined collectively
Your abominations; defective, see. I rhyme the most effectively!
Received an entire arc about your crimes? How obscure
But do not be afraid of this, child; for I am the cure.
The restraints have been released, a Great Dying in this containment breach
So do not take that tone with me, leave the snapping to 173!
Your master killed your grandmother? Now ain't that some comedy gold?
Judging the look of your face, The Pestilence has already taken control

Tomura Shigaraki :
Between the heroes and yourself, I can't tell which one is more pitiful
Call yourself a doctor? At least Daruma's experiments were successful
Kurogiri, take this shit-Stain away, he's been a complete waste of my time
Left you and your creatures in the dust, like I'll soon do with All Might!

SCP-049 :
Even as the hands of your family cling onto their last bit of life
It still stands that my patients come out more alive!
Despite all the attention seeking, what really hurts, Tenko
Is that it appears your quirk's properties have only applied to the microphone

Tomura Shigaraki vs SCP-049 - My Hero Academia vs Anything! #1 (ft. Swoldow EVGRB & Nekomancer)

Jade as The Boner Pill Salesman
Dani as Sven
Written by Cole
Beat: https://instaud.io/3Zmz (When The Beat Drops by InsaneBeatz)
Cover art by Aaron G 
Mixed by Light

The Boner Pill Salesman (0:10-0:30):
I was expecting a good matchup, but ‘le blocky mutt has arrived’
The second time you’ll drown in flow, but this time you won’t survive
Doesn’t matter that you’re from Minecraft, I’m still the best MC
You’re as lost as Dinnerbone, trying to step up to me
Best hope your flame retardant, cause on this track I’m burning
Once I’m done testing this new subject I’ll leave you dead with Joergen
I’m seriously spilling T, Felix lost, and so have you
So many of your friends have died, half of your world is filled with tombs!

Sven (0:30-0:50):
I’ll be freeing your subjects from the hell you make them live in
Fighting me when you’ve scrapped your medics ain't a good decision   
Let’s talk about dogelore, who’s users sure ain’t fly like Klaus
A group of depressed millennials crying about their life through wacky dogs 
Your meme’s been melk-ed dry, I’m spilling blood and that’s a fact, see
I’ve got bedrock hard raps to collapse you and your factory
So much editing, at this point, you barely resemble a dog
Thank god your verse wasn’t like your story: painfully long!

The Boner Pill Salesman (0:50-1:00):
That verse was pretty cringe, bro, you’re running out of ideas
So badly put together, did you buy your raps from Ikea?
Not even my all of my products could harden your soft ass rhymes
Looks like the minecraft series is over, cause Sven just died

Sven (1:00-1:10):
Take a chromch out of this, you need decoys to stay alive
I’ll have you know, these aren’t the first creeper’s blows that I’ve survived
When it comes to flowing on a beat, I’ve seen better from Water Sheep
Now it’s finally time for Wonka’s knockoff to be put to sleep

TheBonerPillSalesman vs. Sven | Rap Battle

Cover art by SquidMan (effects by henry Jones)

CAST
Light  As Mr  Pickles 
Erin   As Fliqpy 

PRODUCTION
Beat: http://www.shadowville.com/123336/genres/gangsta-beats/blockness-monster
Beat by Tristan 
Audio Mixing by Jacob  
Written by Henry Trakked Powerpunk gamer 

Lyrics:

Mr pickles:
Let’s begin this Party, Animal, and give you a real reason to flip out
When I’m barking out these rhymes, you’ll lose more than a Tooth, no doubt
This Is not your battle, like Your Knife, you can’t Hide and Seek a win
You’re In Over Your Hedge if you think you’ll get away with your sins
Let’s Keep this Reel, Flippy, you’re not in war anymore
So quit acting delusional, like getting drunk before Season 4
I’ll leave you more impaled then when you were killed by Lumpy
This’ll be an Overkill  rap, for I’ll show Where you’ll Die like Labby 

Fliqpy:
Time to start this off with a bang, like it was a Tiger Bomb
That I’m dropping on this bitch. How am I supposed to stay calm?
Alright Scooby, Where are you? It’s  time to get Autopsy Turvy
So get out of your doghouse, if you think you have the nerve-y
More Weaponized than an Animal Regiment, cuz this soldier knows how to fight W.A.R. 
You won’t go out Without A Hitch, for I’ll Curve this Dead Man-ly whore
Your raps are plain Cheese, man, and it’s not just a Ball that’s Foul
I mean, what are you gonna do, little Border collie? Will you growl?

Mr pickles:
That verse was not Good, man. I’ll chew your head like if it was a chew toy
Ka-Pow! Like a double whammy, you’ve been knocked out, My Dear Boy
Why don’t you bite me more than love, as tell you what’s on my mind 
Why can’t this serial killer catch a break, as this bear’s show is falling behind
The fame of my cartoon, while you’re here today, gone tomorrow
This slasher will make you splatter with blood with my flow
Telling me to growl? Easy For You To Sleigh, for this doesn’t go “bow-wow”
It’s me you will follow, soldier, because I’M YOUR MASTER NOW 

Fliqpy: 
I’m Flippin’ you off like Burgers, for this will be quite the roast
For you are what you eat, as you’re almost as bloody as me. Almost.
From what Remains to be Seen, beating you will be quite the treat 
You never Jumped the Shark. Your Happy Trails never led to any achieved feats
Now you’ve seen my true rage, like how I took 133 lives
This battle’s survival count? 50%, for in the end you won’t survive
Your Silence won’t be a Random Act when I’m showing you who’s more frightening
Time to end this Vicious Cycle, like it was being struck by lightning

Mr Pickles VS Fliqpy Mixed - Rap War #1  (alternative)

Samara:
In seven days your semi fame will get erased
Forever hated, devastated, choking on your petty rage
Against a dated slasher specializing in edgy teens
I’ve seen meaner scream queens squealing on MTV
I’m the first film sensation from Asia to get the west cravin’
You’re the last one people think of when they hear “Wes Craven”
Abandoned by your mother and it drove you to insanity,
So you’ll bite another bullet, guess it runs in the family

Ghostface:
Hello, announcer - can I fight someone new, please?
You must’ve misheard me; I said I like scary movies
You would think by now you’re used to getting played, but
I can help you out if you really wanna hang up
List everyone you ripped off? I'd rather tape my mouth shut
Stringy hair ghost girl couldn't have been more washed up.
Idyllic but then your hopes for a fairytale drowned
So Samara, Samara, can you let your fans down?
They put a cliche mess right on a VHS
Just so your franchise can replay death?
My scream time made your dreams work, 'til I slayed you.
With your screen time, you shouldn't really call yourself a breakthrough

Samara:
I'm trapped in the waters but protected by god
Drop the facade, you’re useless! Even your rules are flawed

Ghostface:
Wrong answer! Your reboot trash is lackluster
You’re barely at the bottom of the bargain bin at Blockbuster

Samara:
So formulaic, you're more suited for Scooby-Doo
Stuck in an endless loop of Sidney eluding you
Coming at me choking on your phoned-in lines? Please,
I’m screwing you over worse than caller ID
Talk about your franchise like you're one to boast
Enough with your sequels; just give up the ghost
We both know exactly what it's like to take a dive
To be blunt, your role couldn't get your ratings high.

Ghostface:
Unstoppable like Jason, you can’t stop the bloodshed
Shoulda known, never assume the killer is dead
Face it, Grudge girl, you will never be my equal
The body count’s capped out, so there’s no need for a sequel!

Garbage Gothic as Samara Morgan

Razzy as Ghostface

Written by: Freshy Kanal, Razzy, Walk & Adroitwhiz

Mixing by: Freshy Kanal

Beat by: Audio Network

Additional Help by: DCARaps, Rabi, Atronachsaura, Brodecai, Diogo, Gengo & ItsJustBrenden

Cover Art by: Adroitwhiz

VIDEO RELEASE: TODAY

Ghostface vs. Samara Morgan - Rap Battle!

Dani Frias as Happy Appy
Vladimyr P. as Stick Stickly

WELCOME TO A SINISTER RAP BATTLE
HAPPY APPY
AGAINST
STICK STICKLY
BEGIN

Happy Appy:
Hey kids, welcome back, and in today’s episode
I will be sure to break Stickly even more than my own
So to flow like a tsunami, your only hope is pressing one
To push your buttons is the only way that Happy’s having fun

Stick Stickly:
Hey bud, you speak of fun? But that verse was plane and lame
This Stick is spitting sick, spilling your apple saucy brains
And it’s too bad those four lines dragged out more than your story
The winner’s yet to be revealed, and hint; not you, you’re boring!

Happy Appy:
It’s a Day on the Track, Hey kids, let’s Dip a spastic
You gave such a wooden performance, it’s ironic, your raps are plastic
A design like that? It’s easy to see why you left kids snoring
I put the ‘I’ into S_CKLY, you put the ‘I’ into BOR_NG!
No matter what you Bark, your loss’ll surely be appealing
You can’t Stick up for yourself, your show, or the kids that I’m pleasing
I have nailed down this win along with Stickly for construction
Then I’ll tear it down with a chainsaw for your destruction

Stick Stickly:
Just get it through your Noggin, Appy, you don’t make the kids Happy
Cus of your wacky design, you’ll see the Vision of this tragedy
Happy’s come to get schooled, unlike your Wiki; not clickbait
You’re getting meaner and meaner; keep that in your Jar of Hate
Sike! You think you could dip me? Please, like you could diss me, geez
If I am as dull as a knife I could still dice through you with ease
Children need me, while, your show’s flights gone down in plight
And you’re Half the Man I am; a watered down Nick at Nite

Happy Appy:
Wow, that’s all you chalked up? Step into my Van; yuh
Will meet the same fate like as if you were Miranda
The cancellation of your website be lookin’ like 9/11
Cuz IPs have gone down and that is natural children

Stick Stickly:
The only thing that’s natural’s entertaining minors like I did
You couldn’t kill a beat cus you’re stuck on murdering your kids
You’ll get sliced in the same direction, x’d out like my eyes
I would let Happy Rot in Hell, but the track is where you die

WHO MURDERED THE MIC?
COMMENT THE WAIVER BELOW
RETURN TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL
FOR ANOTHER
SINISTER RAP BATTLE

Writers: Vlad and ColeDaCole
Beat Producer: Marsad Men
Mixer / Effects: Vlad
Cover Art Made by Aaron Peters

Happy Appy vs Stick Stickly

Happy Appy vs Stick Stickly. Sinister Rap Battles

Cam (Video Game Rap Battles) as Video Games
None Like Joshua as Anime
Produced by Def Starz
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal

Lyrics: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XC5HaLnOD535d3mNHjyIn1nqBHPRneXvcaaIdE-H0sA/edit?usp=sharing

Anime vs. Video Games - Rap Battle

The experiment is up and running again! Our simulation resumes starting off with the classic White Bomberman duelling the modern (and rather tipsy) Demoman in a far more explosive match than even HAL vs Victor!

@under-scores as the Demoman
@central-rap-battles as the Bomberman

Written by underscores
Beat produced by Audio Network
Additional writing from @jason-carreon-740402437, @dannyplaysgames-422800890, and @king-mewtwo
Thumbnail by underscores
Beat + vocals mixed by underscores
Demo by underscores
Special thanks to Dani Frias


Demoman (drunk):
Eugh… yyou think you cannn… beeat me...
yourrrrr rhymes arre profound, ...seeee?
your… rhymes are so bbad… I got t-the flow
a-and I uhh... *collapses*

Bomberman:
...Oh.
...Guess he rapped drunk?
Wish I could say the same after seein’ that mug
Look at that slug; I’ll blast the wack hackit Scat-man
and his cast of Nine Dastardly bastards
With yo rappin’s prowess as free as your country
I’d shatter out this scotch Scotch as the king of ‘83
Swept the floor with so many space pirates call me Samus Aran times three
Don’t need the Omni Cube to prove you a square
and you can’t be Sirius in any store of retorts
cuz I’m flowin like the Blue Resort, while your last attempt at rap back there
was as wack as your Orange Box ports.

Demoman:
I should lay off the whole bottle, Dig Dug’s blazin’ at full throttle, but I’ll let that end soon
Give my Persuader to this first grader charge em up and lob their block off like ka-boom!
Sobered up, let’s check what you dropped so aplomb;
E10+ bawjaw can’t drop F-bombs,
so you made a port retort and said my verse was junk
but that just proved I’m even dope when I’m drunk
Crush ya with my Booties then I’m shaggin’ Cute Pink
She blew up my boomstick -- now THAT’s Loch n’ Load
So let me back to my duty, if not then shoot me
Cuz your raps are wack as Act Zero

Bomberman:
Did I grab a Clock? ‘Cuz your verses stopped and seemed to Bomber Drag-on
You’re my Bootlegger, or my bootlicker, either way you’ve turned my Fire blast on!
You’d think the Demoman would be more careful with my fuses
But you blew em up into bits and it really seems you’d be clueless
‘Cuz I’m ruthless to the brute who’s puttin’ all of his friends to risk
So don’t talk about your Booties when you can’t accept the shoe fits!
Konami’s topping sloppy jockeys with their choppy disses
ボンバーマン's been on top since I was on the floppy disk and
yeah, Act Zero didn’t ride the charts, that’s apparent
Can’t say the same, though, if we’re talkin’ your number of parents

Demoman:
Get a lode of this runner with their fancy little toys
Unlike Engie though, he can’t think of one creative ploy
‘cuz you're repetitive, I'm Competitive
against the no-fly guy who puts the “error” in “terrorist”
so you'll rue the day you Matched to catch the black scot
who’s kickin’ ass in raps against mascots
Didn’t need PASS Time to blast fly and leave ya dunked
No excuse losin this bad mate!
*takes swig of bottle*
I’m drunk!

Bomberman:
I'm packing heat, and passing P's, while ya bring a slicer!
Attacking me? Want smoke? Heh, pass a breathalyzer!

Demoman:
Half your eyesight yet I spy from this runt
That what he calls gunpowder is nothin’ but duds

Bomberman:
Ugliest thing straight outta Scotland since the monster
Big talk about messes from the Oxi-Clean sponsor

Demoman:
Well I’ll sell ya one crossed wire, potassium chloride,
then kablooie! A bigger bomb than your franchise!

Bomberman:
My franchise bombed? This is coming from the guy
whose game only gets updated when its program goes awry
Time to lose your other eye, this drunk’s an open book
So cue the level’s end! I left a merc overcooked!

Demoman:
I’m fly like my Sticky Jumper, you’re grounded
To that maze of a verse that leaves us confounded
I’ve ripped you apart, ‘case the bombing couldn’t tell
They’ll have to glue you back together in hell!

BOMBERMAN vs DEMOMAN || Modern vs Classic 2: LotA - #1

LYRICS

Sonic.EXE:
Round 1, looks like I’m in a new zone, with the antagonist who wishes minds would turn from bored to blown
So pathetic, you pick off victims and leave Skype calls empty- Who was Phone?
Fake Facebook pages and accounts and this is what you do with your hype?
Thought people would piss their pants in the theatres at the sound “the glitch just typed”
Your Paranormal Activity could be summed up as a hat trick
I’ve seen better Internet PSAs out of Catfish!
You were terrorizing macbooks in your wack flick
But you thinking you’re relevant is the only thing that’s batshit
A sad bitch only made interesting ‘cause of suicide
You’d fit better on Netflix, next to 13 Reasons Why
I have to speak in police code, just for you to comprehend
That I’ll turn a 10-34 to 64xx

Laura Barns:
So the Creepypasta wiki bows down to you? Honestly, what should I expect?
You’re praised by the same community that puts their names behind “Sonic X-XX”
Guarded by diehard fans of garbage, while Sonic just Sez shit
So if you try to drop this battle, there will be serious consequences.
I know a lot about you, .EXE, you’re a mutated version of Zalgo
You stole your sound bites from Kefka and live in Mephiles’ Shadow!
So tone it down Smile Hedgehog, you’re useless without your Chaotic mic Control
Pre-teens terrified at your story; “oh god, the Rap Rat’s going to steal my soul!”

Sonic.EXE:
You’re too slow, Samara Morgan, what inspired you to get a toxic attitude?
Better yet, how about you take that tone to your movie, maybe you’d impress your viewers while you’re at it too!
I’m a god of your realm! My presence is ascended!
You’re a waste of a climax- talk about a “shit” ending
Close the tab window to escape a Blaire Witch Project!
And you’ll have a worse fate than another Dark Web hardship!

Laura Barns:
I’ve been to hell, so if you claim you’re God, then you can call me your Anti-Christ!
Swallow your fancy pride! The genre you preside is something you can’t stand beside!
An Affinity for kinned furries? Use those sharp teeth of yours and bite me!
Ditch the Youtube Let’s Play’s, your defeat is more suitable for LiveLeak!

CREDITS

Fightmarker as Sonic.EXE
https://soundcloud.com/fightmarker
Illuminasium As Laura Barns
https://www.castingcall.club/m/illuminasium

Written and thumbnail by Rabi
Additional writing help: Gamingplush64 and B O R K
https://soundcloud.com/gamingplush64
Mixed and Mastered by Light
https://soundcloud.com/ducky808
Beat by 2Deep
Sonic.EXE Art by B O R K
https://soundcloud.com/borkrulesok

Sonic.EXE vs. Laura Barns (Unfriended) - Rap Battle

Do I even need to say it?

Beat Production: Call Me G
Thumbnail By: Fightmarker
Written By: Eric The Audible
Voice Work: Eric The Audible
Mixed by: Eric The Audible

LYRICS:
Mitchell:
In the 80s see a man self-made
With a family, proud in the USA
Today, I still show kids how games are played
But I got my two cents and I’m leaving the arcade

Don’t need the stats to see how bad you dropped
How are you gonna get mad over the 16th slot?
As a teen I recorded my first high-score
You’re screaming at teens for attention, like GEORGE

Yeah I took the gaming scene and put a face on it
You took the color green  just put a face on it 
Can’t speedrun this track when I forged your path man
Mitchell will perfect a bitch - like Pacman

Dream:
In this verse, I’ll catch a cease and desist
From a man saving face because he’s an egotist
And if you enjoy watching this dude destroy
His career, leave a like ‘cause it helps my vids

Now you, I’m not exactly the type to gloat
But I could match your fame with a single upload
And if you wonder why you sank and I float
Well just cause you can’t hit me doesn’t mean we’re in the same boat

AYO, looks like your stuck in a manhunt
Every ref should be put into handcuffs
All according to plan but, you got enraged cause
This ain’t a  problem that you can tape up

I’m making content that you could never emulate
You made the scene but I literally changed the game
Statistics twist my dreams to reality
Take out your fistful of quarters, Twin Galaxy

BOMBERMAN vs DEMOMAN || Modern vs Classic 2: LotA - #1

Nekomancer Jade