This is it. The time is now.
All the planning, all of the training, all of the sacrifices you've made have all been for this. Hours writing bars, mixing stems and vocals, animating. And now…

Everyone wants to take it from you.

Will you let them? Will your legacy be snatched by someone else, or will you be the main character in this story?
It's up to you.

But make no mistakes -- you aren't the hero.
But are you the sidekick? An antihero? The villain? The talking sword? The white whale? The Bebop? Someone else? That's up to you.

Anything But the Hero Challenge Criteria:
3 minute maximum length

Vocalist Challenge(s):
must rap from a fandom perspective that is NOT the hero
must use multis

Producer Challenge(s):
must use vocalist sfx or clip built into the beat
must sample the source material

Artwork Challenge:
Fan Art!

VPC7 Round One - Anything But the Hero

VPC7 R1: Anything But The Hero (Top to Bottom)

VPC7 ALL TRACKS

Fandom: Steven Universe
Character: Spinel


Ohhhh steeeeven haha!
You weren’t always a powerful hero were you?
Hmhnhm hahhahahaHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA

You did this 
YOU ASKED FOR IT
Threw your friend on the backboard
Now we’ve fast forward
Just imagine if back then
Wan’t a sad story/
Wouldnt be kin to ya other friends
Ya mother then
Turned into some love oven
It must have been
Weird
It was so sudden
But I don’t CARE 
Cause I’m here to help you do something
Show you how it feels 
Turn your friends to NOTHING
(But little Steven saved the world
And now space is safe
No more gems are gonna come 
And invade this place)
EEEEVERYONE FORGOT SPINEL
SO ILL TAKE THEIR PLACE
ERASE YOUR FATES
AND TURN THE GEMS TO PAPER WEIGHTS
*steven* [can you tell us who she is]
Oh well my mistake
My feet combined with vines for your diamonds sake
Who am I? 
Spinel
Whatau even sayin
I’m the loser to the game you didn’t know you’were playin
*pearl* [it can’t be...]
Oohohooo
It’s can be, and it is!
I got a new style~
And a few new TOYS
That are gonna put an end to your happily ever after
ONCE AND FOR ALL!

HOOK
That’s right, I heard the story over and over again
Gee it’s swell to finally meet her other friends
Ooooo that’s right I heard the story
Don’t really like how it ennnds
Gee it’s swell to finally meet (beat) her other friends

SKIT
Yo aiight, timeout. Spinel?!
(WHAT?!)
What about Nerdcore VPC?! Like... shouldn’t we be targeting them?
(Hohoho. that’s easy I can crush them after I get Steven....)
But.. what about Osiris
(Hahahah!! I’m the LEAST concerned about that one!! HAHAHAHA)

I’m so flattered that you liked the old me,
Totally innocent, HA YOUR PHONY!!
YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE to be left and lonely 
Messed up so deep
Stressed and so weak
NO you were plaaanin to re-wipe my memories
It’s WORSE when your frieends are your rightful enemies 
I CURSE all you gems and your spiteful energy
The true kind of love s’what I had
NOW LOOK AT ME

injector will kill everyone
I hate them
Protect your real friends
Careless with your fake ones
Ya stupid songs not gonna 
Change my fate so
I swear I hate you
I SWEAR I HATE YOU
You change for the better
I change and I fall
I’m deranged so whatever
I’ll never be called
and I still miss her face
Pink why are you gone
Wasn’t good enough for you
Now I’m not good all

Hhehehe thats funny, right?
At least you found me entertaining
You actually like me?
Didn’t you?
*sobs*
What am I doing?....
Why do I want to hurt you so bad??
Im supposed to be your friend...
I just wanna be your friend...

Wait. 

HOOK

VPC 7 Round 1

Vessels of Light [CreateLadyJ, Cam3] - Other Friends

Fandom: Kiki's Delivery Service
Character for Round 1: Jiji the cat

Clear the air
I’m coming with long tail
Can’t you see my contrail
Through the violet sky
I’m here I’m there
I’m faster than a comet
Call me and I’m on it
If it’s rain or shine
And the honeys are all buzzin
And they phone me by the dozen
Sayin come around to my place soon
Cuz I’m the best that you can get an’
If you’re into heavy pettin
You can bet that I’ll be gettin on my broom, on my broom

Call Jiji’s delivery service 
Call Jiji’s delivery service 
Jiji’s delivery service 
I'm comin to you

Reach out
I got the right equipment
For bringing you a shipment
Like a magic spell
I'm free now
I’m flying like a tomcat
And you know I’m pouncing on that
You never had it this well
Cuz I’m rakin in the riches
And I’m catchin all the witches
Gonna make the best of all nine lives
And you know that I’m a giver
You just call and I’ll deliver
Honey look up in the sky you’ll wonder how time flies

Call Jiji’s delivery service (comin to you)
Call Jiji’s delivery service (ya know what we do)
Call Jiji’s delivery service (comin to you)
I’m comin to you

You don’t need any other
You can take me home to mother
And she’ll say that I’m a real sweet pet
So say goodbye to those guys
Straighter than the crow flies
Ready and I’m set, and you ain’t seen nothing yet

Call Jiji’s delivery service (comin to you)
Jiji’s delivery service (ya know what we do)
Call Jiji’s delivery service (comin to you)
Jiji’s delivery service (Same-day air)
Jiji’s delivery service (I’ll be right there)
Jiji’s delivery service (Yeah I’ll be right there)
Jiji’s delivery service
I’m comin to you

Sleater-Kitty [MC117, Klopfenpop] - Jiji's Delivery Service

Fandom: The Dark Crystal 
Character: The Skeksis

VERSE I
MUST LOVE DOGS, MUST USE MULTIS
IM A MUPPET, PLUS MY WHOLE VIBE MUCH TOO CULTY
YOU GULLY? YOU GROTTAN, YOU ROTTEN, YOU MUSTY
YOU MUST BE, YOU WANT ME ON YOUR BEATS?! DON'T INSULT ME
YA GIRL LOOK LIKE AUGHRA
YOU CUCKS PROLLY OUGHTA-- ALL OF YA--WONDER IF I FUCKED THE ALL-MAUDRA
WE GODS AND WE MONSTERS, YOU ALL GETTIN STOMPED UP
YALL FORGOT I GOT SKEKMAL IN THE ROSTER
KID, IMMA SINK YOU LIKE THE BIS TO THE MARCK
YOU A BITCH AND A MARK, MY CRYSTAL IS DARK
MY JERRLY IS INFINITE, INTRICATE, SHARP
FEAST WHILE YOU DRINK FIZZGIG PISS IN THE DARK
AND FROM ME AINT NO SYMPATHY GATHERED
YOU A SIMP, IMMA BURN YOU INTO CINDERS AND ASHES
IMMA SHIT ON YOU BASTARDS, THE RITUAL MASTER
SHIT, EVERY LAST MINUTE THAT IM SPITTIN IM BLASTED
YOU'RE PLASTERED, THINKIN THAT YOUR DISS'LL WIN EM OVER?
IM THINKIN THATS A MISS, YOU AINT SHIT WHEN YOU SOBER
I GUESS THEY NEVER MISS HUH
MISSED THE LAST DECADE OF NERDCORE, I AINT MISS MUCH
SMOKING BLOOKA ROOT
YOU LISTEN TO FETT'S VETTE, I LISTEN TO BAZOOKA TOOTH
SKEKBUTO, THE AVIREX SKEKSIS
GOT A ARMALIG THAT PULL THE LEXUS

HOOK
AND I DON'T MAKE CONCEPT TRACKS, I'M A CONCEPT
RAP WITH A CONDOR HEAD FROM YOUR MOM'S BED
(BOMB SHIT) YES, SIP HER ESSENCE, PROLONG SHIT
YON SKEK CALL IN GARTHIM, NOT A BOMB THREAT
PLUS, FUCK A THRA, AUGHRA, FUCK A GELFLING
VULTURE CLAW SWIPE RIGHT, NICE, FUCK A GELFLING
SOMETHING ELSE NOT FROM YOUR PLANET THAT LANDED
DEMANDED TO GET SHIT--AND GET WHAT'S DEMANDED

VERSE II
AND WE LANDED, AS IN, GOT THE LAND
SO WE ASK AND YOU ANSWERED, NOBODY'S SAYING DAMN SHIT
RANCID, ONE STEP FROM CANNIBALIST ANIMUS
FEASTIN ON A POD PEEP PIECE LIT BY CANDLESTICKS
NEXT, SKEKTEK TEXT "CHECK THE ANALYSIS"
GRAB A CASTLE GUARD TAP EM HARD FOR DIALYSIS
BETTER LIVING LONG LIFE (TIGHT) BIGGER PHALLUSES
(HYPE) CHILL IN CAVERNOUS MAD CRYSTAL PALACES
AND YOU VALOROUS, TRYNA BE MORALITOUS
SAD HOW THE WHOLE VAPRA POWER SITCH IS COUNTERFEIT
ACCURATE, SNAPPIN WHEN I STAB U WITH A MASSIVE SHIV
SAVAGE SHIT, PLUS THE COLOR PALETTE IS ANALAGOUS
BLACK MOLD WITH A LITTLE BIT OF JACK MODE
ACTING ATAXIC, I'M NASTY, I RAP SLOW
BRASH OLD MASKED-UP BASTARD WITH CASH FLOW
BACKS BLOWN, SNAGGLETOOTH GRIN LIKE A GLASGOW
AND YOU WACK BRO
TALKIN BOUT SKILLS, GRACE, TASTE WHEN YOU LACK THOSE
TELL A GRUENAK TO GET THE VIALS AND WE STASH THOSE
GOT A DUAL GLAIVE? BRAVE, SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASSHOLE
I'M MASTERFUL

Muppet Ronin [Kabuto the Python and Beaker Sullivan] - Fizzgig Piss

Fandom: Baki
Character:  Yujiro Hanma 

Yujiro
(Demon In The Back)


Intro/Bridge:
I think y’all funny/ I like y’all bloody/
I keep my shoes muddy/ Shit bout to get ugly/
Ima lion out the cage and i’m feelin jah hungry/
A savage for the ages, here to take my money/

Hook: 2x
Bitch I ain’t no hero, 
(Demon In The Back)
They call me Yujiro/
(Demon In The Back)
Alias is Ogre/
(Demon In The Back)
 Against me then its over/ 
(Demon In The Back)

Verse1: 
Kill all of your soldiers, ima one man army/
You can try to use guns, y’all weapons can’t harm me/
If you think you can stop me, than we can party/
This is not sparring, I am not Baki/
It could be karate, it will be boxing/
When the pain hits you, it is not stopping/
If you do not know me, than do not approach me/
I’ll tear out your eye just like Doppo Orochi/
You bleeding out slowly, and laying below me/
Said you was a fighter you gotta be joking/
Looks to me like you need way more experience/
Traveled the world, spread out my lineage/ 
Winnings continuous, 
Fuck all your titles, I beat all the Kios, 
Bitch, I am Survival!/





Bridge:
I think y’all funny/ 
(Demon In The Back Bruh)
I like y’all bloody/
(Demon In My Back Ya’ll)
I keep my shoes muddy/ 
(Demon In The Back Tho)
Shit bout to get ugly/
(Demon In The Back Yo)
Ima lion out the cage/
(Demon In The Back)
And i’m feelin jah hungry/
(Demon In The Back)
A savage for the ages/
(Demon In The Back)
Here to take my money/
(Demon In The Back)


Hook: 2x
Bitch I ain’t no hero, 
(Demon In The Back)
They call me Yujiro/
(Demon In The Back)
Alias is Ogre,
(Demon In The Back)
 Against me then its over/ 
(Demon In The Back)
Bitch I ain’t no hero/
They call me Yujiro/
Alias is Ogre/
Against me then its over/





END

VPC7, Round 1

Green Lotus [Osiris Green, RiotOnTheBeat] - Yujiro

Fandom: Cowboy Bebop
Character: Jet Black

They know me well 
My rep precedes me
I’m the best at what I do
Get a clue
Yeah yeah

It’s show and tell
When they see me
I’m the best at what I do
Get a clue
Yeah yeah

You’re in my space
Aye
This is my race
Aye
You will always be behind me


Don’t talk to me like I’m mad
No no
Don’t talk to me like I’m mad
Don’t do it

That’s a throwback for ya
Forget what I can do and it could go bad for ya
Been in the trenches building a rep
You know why they call me black dog
Not because I’m savage with the ladies. 
I won’t cap nah
But if you got baggage that you hate and
Need it tracked down
I got the squad to do it. It’s gravy
Put the cash down
Aye

Y’all hypin lil bro cuz he reckless
Okay
But we both borderline obsessive
Yeah
Look at me, I’m constantly progressing
He’s stuck in his past
And it’s sad


That’s why I’m the leader
I stay in my bag
I'm not the one. You gotta pay for the task
I’m Emeril Lagasse
If you in my posse
If you think I use too much flavor just ask

I stay on my Ragu I’m saucing
They know that it’s costly
To blip on my radar I’m fast
To turn a bounty into a pile of cash
Can’t trust many people
Cuz friendship is evil 
like Udai. Betrayal, it seems like a Fad
Being naive costs and arm and leg
If you’re lucky you might add some shine from the trash
You’ll catch the blues trying to hide when we track
And it goes like


They know me well 
My rep precedes me
I’m the best at what I do
Get a clue
Yeah yeah

It’s show and tell
When they see me
I’m the best at what I do
Get a clue
Yeah yeah

You’re in my space
aye
This is my race
aye
You will always be behind me



If you’re on my bad side I’m a shark
Always been paper first even for pleasure
Want full pockets like I hit Spiders from Mars
Sometimes your circle is brilliant
But take too many risks hold order in high disregard

Constantly feel like I’m babysitting
Look I’m mean with the steel but I’ll slay the kitchen
Trip and I don’t need to act cause Faye can get you
Easy to feel secure when the lady’s Vicious
And that pun was intended
Respected so I just have fun with the system

Plus when I’m spittin
I glide on the track like it’s Astro (Astral)
Not talking bout Gate hackers. I’m past those
Grind hard. Look I hate slackers. I bag folks
Turn em in. Take the cake. After I dash though
Have fun. Raise the stakes. Gotta Make it stack mo’

Might try to gamble with the Woolongs
You can’t even handle what my GroupOn
Not talking discounts either. Full price up front or you gone
You want beef I’ll give you bell peppers to chew on

Keep it moving if you say my star could fall
I know losing people might be too hard for y’all
But I’ve been ditched I’ve been broken I’ve been scarred and all
Should have abandonment issues the way they’ve all run off

But I grieve when I grind
My heart’s gonna bleed every time
Til I find my peace still inside
That’s after I reach deep in my mind
My heart’ll catch the blues but I still remain a beast can't deny


They know me well 
My rep precedes me
I’m the best at what I do
Get a clue
Yeah yeah

It’s show and tell
When they see me
I’m the best at what I do
Get a clue
Yeah yeah

You’re in my space
aye
Shipping my place
aye
You will always be behind me

Deshko [Kadesh Flow, Ryako] - Show'NTell

Fandom: Attack on Titan
Character: Attack Titan

Verse
Im your salvation, the future of humanity
,Ever since creation I maneuvered fuh yuh freedom
Im the suture for your sanity, Im the one you needing
when yo dreams succumb to gravity, nopeifying homicide


by open-wide, groping to keep hope alive, oversized
Immortalized, patricide pacified, dopamine
RUSH more potent than the dhovakin, no mercyI,
KillMYenemies BYanymeans, welcome to


the game, everybody is the same but I shift
and I’m different, go berserk and go to work like a doctor,
leave em looking awkward, kick em like its soccer
Imma keep emhumble, before they start to rumble


the titan shinigam, hands blam like a mini-gun,
Theres so many gone, aint taking shit from anyone,
Theres so many wronged, Im the storm before the calm
Giving hypersonic alms with open hand atomic palms


Hook x4
They bitten of our arms they bitten of our legs
So I aint gonna stop til every one of them is dead
(They bitten off our arms legs legs arm heads
They bitten off our arms legs legs arm head)




Verse
My people been herded, getting fat from preserves,
Heaven sent to devil bent, save the last for desert
Fortified, horrified, everybody sure to die
Because the one above us was thinking it’s deserved


Now we brutalized, due to lies, even if we shoot em high
Moot applies, do or die, everyday is suicide
Lord have mercy who decides, its you and you and you and I,
This aint a place for pacifists, I like to bring the pain baby


Fueled by the slain yeah, I go against the grain hey
maybe I’m a masochist, I’m doing what Im glad to do,
I do it cause I’m mad at you, I dont need the gratitude
What you had for supper, is why you catching uppercuts


I'm the funky child, born of the lords of the underground
What goes around comes around, When you hear the thunder sound
They getting torn to shreds, its why Im born and bred
Its karma for his mama but the dramas for my arm and leg


Hook x4
They bitten of our arms they bitten of our legs
So I aint gonna stop til every one of them is dead
(They bitten off our arms legs legs arm heads
They bitten off our arms legs legs arm head)




Bridge
I’m growing quick Im throwing shit cause we aint bout to coexist
Spit dripping from my lips while Im ripping through your clique
I plugged the hole up with a stone so they leave our ass alone
Now you aint gotta worry bout them coming to ya home
And once I put that armor on aint nobody harmin yall
You aint getting eaten once Ive beaten and defeated em
They’ve bitten off your arm leg leg arm head
And I aint gonna stop til every one of them is dead


Hook x4
They bitten of our arms they bitten of our legs
So I aint gonna stop til every one of them is dead
(They bitten off our arms legs legs arm heads
They bitten off our arms legs legs arm head)

Broken Pixels [Nomad, Equivalent Exchange] - A.L.L.A.H.

Fandom: Star Trek deep cuts
Character: Khan Noonien Singh. 

SPACE SEED
[#%^] 


Woke up, knife to the docs throat
No fucks, others might have lost hope
But i’m a product of the best of the 90s
And I got the best of the best behind me


A descendant of the remnants of the great clans
I like a brave man who can make plans and take stands
A depraved band of snake hands won’t make it very far
In the these great lands


Great lands in need of a new make of a man
That’s me, you can check your fuckin brain scans
Before i burn your stuff into a waste land
I will learn enough to turn your luck quicker than fate can


Ten times your strength and my mind’s intense
End of the line been to the vine
Grew into wine, i spent a lifetime 
Then i went on take whatever is mine by divine intent
That’s everything
And now time is bent in my favor
You were not meant to understand my behavior
My awful capers from the past will make me an awesome savior 
For your own sins and perversions


History repeats itself, who wins in this version?
Khan
I can only give you a hint of the burden of what it is to be a superior build build of a person

[#%^] [MessiahCarey, Jared Sparks] - Space Seed

Fandom: Resident Evil 
Character: Albert Wesker

I know these noises of the dead are not the voices in my head
Keeping focused, staying stressed
Till they all get laid to rest
Is the T the violence virus? I'm the monster making bets
No solace sirens, silent tyrants celebrate with death (hey)
You are alone
Floundering in my control
You won't be making it home
Losing your soul
This mansion is more than I've shown
I'll lead you off on your own
Use you for combat data with no one to save ya
My experiments will chase ya, waste ya, taste ya flava
"Everyday, humans come one step closer to self destruction"
In many ways, I'm here to save them
They cannot see that they're puppets
And I alone, the master might control the world, I'm after
Global dominance, with power I'll evolve the bastards

Pull the strings of genes, make the fiends make em bleed
I don't think that they see, what I've done with T
Pull the strings of genes, make the fiends make em bleed
I don't think that they see, what I've done to me

Infect myself, I am no longer a human being
I am all powerful, I'm something you have never seen
This betrayal is the start, now you'll see the pain
"Sure, I'm not human anymore, but (just) look at the power (I've) gained!" 

Pull the strings of genes, make the fiends make em bleed
I don't think that they see what I've done with T
Pull the strings of genes, make the fiends make em bleed
I don't think that they see what I've done to me

Anti Hero [BVNE, El Diaz] - T

Fandom: The Little Mermaid
Character: Ursula

Intro:
Come with me down below
Sink into my catacombs
See how deep you will go
find the spot you'll call home        
forevermore


Verse 1:
This is Armageddon, be ready when karma beckons
This class is now in session, you need to learn your lesson
This Queen is not from heaven, but divine in my confessions
This connection of rejection has lead to my transgressions
You think you have control over how my life would go
You thought I would rot in your exiled onslaught
You think I'd be controlled by such veil souls
You thought you got the villain, [laugh] I think not 


Hook:
Enter my Leviathan
Won't you explore deep within
Don't be shy, Just let me in
Come and let us taste your sin


Verse 2:
Poor little creatures you are all now my possessions
Unfortunately your saviour will have to witness this lesson
Souls eventually endure tension, Seven, controlled like weapons
Nereid was my profession until you Sirened my aggression
Sweet child, it could be undone, but that's no fun, it's just begun
Flotsam, Jetsam, My poor henchmen, your defeat will be complete
My screams will leave you deafened, your souls are mine to keep
Remember this is Armageddon, now children it's time to eat

2 Cannonz [SirenSeraph, PSX] - In Memoriam of Flotsam and Jetsam

Fandom - Adventure time
Character- BMO

Lyrics

Intro – Narrator: This little living computer game system is BMO. My information doesn’t 
seem to say wether they are a he, or a she, just BMO. Oh well. 

BMO: Who wants to play Video GAMES?!?! Check it out Ya’ll.

CHORUS

When it gets hard to fight
there's nothing left to fear
They'll never turn out my light
I'll always be right here

VERSE

Well I'm,
Usually confusedly miss-gendered as a dude you see
Oops a Dees-y seems he's a she
She, snoozily approves being believed to be a summary of these;
Male female and a dissociative identity

Attendency is rendering me mentally free
to achieve my dreams and schemes
and to be the side kick I'm meant to be

Shit sent from me directly behind
A human centipede extensively entering blind
on some adventure time

CHORUS

When it gets hard to fight
there's nothing left to fear
They'll never turn out my light
I'll always be right here


Resigned and inclined 
I’ll find time to unwind
I'm designed to align your dexterity and your grind

It's a synch in a pinch 
You glimpse and make it simp for a 
Hit of the shit on my circuitry unit
working these movements

I'm a tag along sang a song bang a gong vagabond 
hanging on to every last wrong
and it makes me strong

Power on for the people, not Jesus, Not evil

Im BMO no EGO no Gender No equal

BRIDGE

I'm not broken robot
Just need a technician with a soft spot

Whatever comes next
We'll be together on a mission an adventure

We will fight for us
With everything we can never gonna give up

Thank you for my strength
And making me as strong as I was meant to be

CHORUS ABRIDGED

When it gets hard to fight
Just need a technician with a soft spot

There's nothing left to fear
We’ll be together on a mission an adventure

They'll never turn out my light
With everything we can never gonna give up

I'll always be right here

BMO: I Love you too, Goodbye!

1up Funk [Bobby Arsen, Hook Shot] - Be More

Fandom: Harry Potter
Character: The Sorting Hat

This one goes out to my man Robert Galbraith. 
Sorting gang. We're the worst. 

[chorus] x2
If I can sort you in then I can sort you out. 
You couldn't thwart all the things that I've brought about. 
How did Lord Voldemort find supportive crowds? 
See, you're taught to be naughty in the naughty house. 

[verse 1]
I set the wheels in motion. I sense your real emotions 
and send you reeling into the field I've chosen. 
Perchance evil potions, deeds of deep revulsion. 
I'll achieve my goals as long as I meet the quotient. 
I'm not even coaching, just picking the teams 
and filling Slytherin with all of the shittiest tweens. 
These kids will be in smithereens and no one intervenes. 
My little scheme tickles me till I split at the seams. 
And Dumbledore... 
Did you think that dumdum just stumbled through the door? 
Or got that gig on merits? Like being careless 
and looking away when children perish 
in perilous scenarios? Or get very close to some scary ghost 
with varicose veins and hairy toes, wearing burial clothes? 
I put him in with confidence 
that I would find the odd use for his obtuse incompetence. 

[chorus] x2

[verse 2]
Who divides and conquers spies and plonkers? 
'Tis I, the bonnet. "And why? It's wrong?" 'Cause I'm just bonkers. 
My best sponsors are mindless wanderers, 
floundering onwards unaware of what unkindness conjures. 
Blind, unconscious, while I write destinies 
and set trajectories. Yes I'm a hat, but I pick the accessories. 
Expressed unease, rest in peace. No one suspects a headpiece, 
but I've got the future all laid out in excel spreadsheets. 
Deadbeats and death eaters make up my faculty 
I pick the children like fruit off an apple tree. 
The alchemy of apathy as I essentialize, 
categorize and emphasize the differential lines. 
Never empathize. Just spread empty lies like how Mars and Venus, 
and vulvas, ovaries, balls and penis 
share an important link, and other sordid things. 
It's a boring kink, I know, but I sort of think...

[chorus]

[outro variant]
If I can sort you in then I can sort you out. 
You couldn't thwart all the things that I've brought about. 
How did Joanne Rowling find supportive crowds? 
See, you're taught to be naughty...

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Sort You Out

Challenges accepted:
Vocals - (double time - Zolt Energy Serum)
Producer - (no snares in the beat - The Bear Hammock 29-F)

Game genre: Dating Sim
Screen: The Final Encounter

V: Oh, here we have it, the final encounter. This is a tough one, to be sure. Many have tried, all have failed so far, but maybe this is the one. 
A: It's a challenge, for sure, but we have a challenger. 
V: Oh, a true player. Let's see how it goes. 
A: Round one. Shoot your shot! 

I'm the final boss of the dating sim.  
There's no way to win, 'cause I can't take a hint. 
You're gonna fail and then you'll wanna play again 
Your loss, take it in, let the games begin.  
I've got all my defenses up, 
all tensed up and my comprehension tends to suck. 
Try to bend your luck with charms and methods of 
seduction, but we all know where you're ending up. 
Zone of friendship? What? No, twit, that's a prize. 
You're going home alone. Big fat surprise. 
Like Macaulay Culkin, without supplies. 
Always sulking, rip out your eyes  
if you don't wanna see the blank stare on my face 
as I dismiss your compliments as having terrible taste. 
I've had my fair share of dates, so I'm set, except 
I only found out in retrospect. (That's what that was?)  
  
V: Oh, you hate to see it, folks. Striking out in the first round. 
A: Well, let's see if there's any bouncing back from this. 
V: It is not looking too good right now, but it ain't over yet. 
A: Round two. Make your move! 

You know you'll be ill at ease, I don't show 
vulnerabilities. You've honed your skills, increased 
your ammo as sociable charmer, 
but cupid's arrows ricochet off my emotional armor. 
And my heart doesn't glow, so it's harder to get to. 
You try to connect, I'm just not gonna let you. 
With all the respect due, every romance Lothario 
measures on a scale from no chance to very low, 
no matter the scenario, even with careful listening, 
say you're getting hot, I'll hit the air conditioning. 
It's not your whispering nor a matter of discipline. 
I simply miss the gist of what it is you're propositioning. 
Not a single inkling. I just stare into space, 
unaware of infatuation you wear on your face. 
I've had my fair share of dates and before I left 
there wasn't one who wasn't bored to death. 

V: Ooooh! That's gotta hurt! Advances went right over the head *and* were countered with absolute tedium. 
A: This is a disaster, folks, and after so many successes. 
V: Well, there is one more round, so maybe not all is lost. 
A: Round three. Date!

I'm like talking to a brick wall, 
mindless conversations. 
A human bottle of rohypnol, 
minus connotations 
When we're walking through a strip mall, 
I'll exhaust your patience. 
What I'm saying's I'm an awful date, 
and you're gonna wanna escape from the jaws of fate 
before it all too late. They're already agape, 
frothing and starting to oscillate. 
Being my lawful mate is not so great, 
like a box of defrosted flakes. 
To get dad jokes like that for the rest of your life 
put me in a dress that is white and address me as wife. 
I've had my fair share of dates on repeat, the same 
every time 'cause no one's beat the game. 

A: Oh no, I think that's game over, folks. 
V: It sure is. The only way to move forward now is to start over from the last checkpoint at the beginning of the encounter. 
A: Press any key before the end of the countdown. 3...2...1...

VPC 7 Round 2

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Beyond Reach

Stuck on this island, the trouble just piling 
up and then rising above the horizon. 
Nothing surprising under the bright sun. 
Fuck with poseidon, get struck by the trident! 
Son of the titans. Thunder and lightning. 
The undeniably crummiest timing. 
A couple of hyphens-- 
I suck at describing my struggle in writing. 
I wonder if I might become reunited with dry land, 
or if anyone can even find me where I stand... 
You wouldn't happen to recognize this white sand 
by chance? 'Cause I can't! 
The return address: Desertedness. If this ever surfaces, 
pretty sure I guess you've never heard of this. 
Purposeless! Better start preparing for permanence, 
'cause of the limitations I observe myself working with. 
I wanna leave, but it dawns on me I'll probably rot on this beach. 
If I thought I'd see other people, I'd believe posthumously. 
Ardamus keeps working hard on this beat, 
but I'd find it less awkward if he'd bother talking to me. 
In shock, or just seething 'cause he thinks I caused this debacle? 
Lost in his thoughts while mine get tossed in this bottle? 
Contents long gone, God crossed off of the gospel. 
Just gotta process the awful like hot sauce up a nostril. 
Nature, a hostel as hostile as possible, 
fatally harsh and too far from a hospital. 
Lots of unsolvable problems and obstacles. 
Consciousness distorted as if through a Boss pedal. 
Give me the bronze medal in shit going wrong! 
The minute we've gone, I'll sing the victory song. 
Time ticking along. Trickery! Contradictory! Wrong! 
Shorter hours; seconds getting unpredictably long. 
Don't know what we should do, 
except accept we've stepped into a Kobayashi Maru. 
Colossally screwed across the great blue yonder. 
A quandary we don't have the philosophy to ponder, 
finding the long shot our hearts grew fonder-- 
Better yet, new harbor. Hardly. Too somber? 
Two goners, doomed to wander a handful of square feet, 
lucky if we last a mere week.

VPC 7 Round 3

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Flaskpost

30 second intro.
Ardamus: check it check it check it….it goes like this….XOC is in the house….Vincent E.L. they're in the house...Ardamus I'm in the house….Point Seven 5 we're in the house and….(intro fades)


(Intro fades. Then intro of beat drops)
(Banter from Vincent E. L. and XOC? Optional)


Chorus:
Ardamus: I'm celebratin' elevating other paths
Never settle fo.r the medal when the devil stab a brotha's back
Break the bank, break it down but dont break ya neck
You can take a chill pill still while you take the check 
XOC: -Everything is changing I’m no longer what I thought about, 
steady rearranging, the complaining getting smothered out,
 begging for forgiveness, those are things I do not talk about,
 burying my past, take my future on another route -
Vincent E. L.:I've been depressed of late and estimate 
it's not my last time feeling less than great, 
but as I investigate my mind in its present state, 
I guess you could say it's better than yesterday. Arda, you good? 
A: Damn right, I'm good. Yo XO are you good? 
X: Damn right, I'm good. E. L. are you good?
V: All things considered, I'm good.
All: damn right yo it's still all good




Verses pt. 1
X:-Blessed be my day, cause I finally could say so, 
blessed be my day, I no longer have to lay low,
 blessed be my day cause it’s looking like a new one, 
finally can say I made it out of the confusion
A:Illusion, Enforced vision of course hit em'
core twitchin' rewired my whole support system
Hundid percent, come get me, run efficiently 
sippin' rum, having some epiphanies
V: Just when I think I've forgotten how to write, 
and any other thought is out of sight and inspiration's not about to strike, 
I hear this sound, and it's like I'm surrounded by 
astounding amounts to type and signs that life is finally right. 


Chorus:
Ardamus: I'm celebratin' elevating other paths
Never settle for the medal when the devil stab a brotha's back
Break the bank, break it down but dont break ya neck
You can take a chill pill still while you take the check 
XOC: -Everything is changing I’m no longer what I thought about, 
steady rearranging, the complaining getting smothered out,
 begging for forgiveness, those are things I do not talk about,
 burying my past, take my future on another route -
Vincent E. L.:I've been depressed of late and estimate 
it's not my last time feeling less than great, 
but as I investigate my mind in its present state, 
I guess you could say it's better than yesterday. Arda, you good? 
A: Damn right, I'm good. Yo XO are you good? 
X: Damn right, I'm good. E. L. are you good?
V: All things considered, I'm good.
All: damn right yo it's still all good


Verses pt. 2
V: It's a new dawn, new day, new life, 
loose ties turn to tight bonds when the glue dries. 
Up ahead, a promise of blue skies, 
as long as I choose wisely as I deduce where the truth lies.  
X:-Vision the imagery, 
talk about the balance and the symmetry,
Witness an existence with a past they planted into me,
Started as a child, when they promptly ran it into me,
You kidding me, left me here with years to fight the misery
A:- Oozin' out my pores, blood and sweat
Held back the tears with enough regrets
I'm slowin' down, speedin' up, the revelation
Happens everytime around the team when we're….

VPC7 Round 4

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Still All Good (ft. XOC)

Sorry to bother you. 
I know you've got a lot of stuff on your plate. 
You're brushing up against the date and look at the nothing you've made! 
It's tough to resuscitate your lust to create. You've been crushing it lately, 
but now you're getting crushed under the weight. 
Must be great knowing it's much too late to start. 
A game of art, not for the faint of heart. 
Play your cards, portray this as your "favorite part" 
and maybe they won't pay regard to the quotation marks. 
[Aw, poor baby...] I hear you're supposed to write a letter to yourself. 
I don't envy you, but at least you know you better than anyone else. 
You won't excel with every breath you exhale, 
but never put pencil to paper and you'll definitely fail. 
You're in the belly of the whale. Telling a tale 
you might as well be spelling in braille to an elephant snail. 
That's a hell of a way to tell em you're well on your way to dismount 
the intelligence scale looking delicate, frail and incredibly pale. 
Better get it together, level with Nebuchadnezzar, 
and tell yourself you're better than ever, 
and get the twenty that's left on the dresser. 
A generous treasure for selling a pheasant your feathers. 
An elegant gesture, but can you weather the pressure 
of penning an eloquent letter from behind the delicatessen? 
I don't know what you expect to get for sending a message except 
an exacerbated sense of emptiness. Depressed and upset 
at the sentiment settling in the sediment. 
Is it getting too meta to meditate on the genuine? 
Would you have to explain what every letter meant? 
You're writing to yourself. It's technically self-evident. 
You're reticent, hesitant to express your perspective and 
you've never said anything without any prep and editing. 
You're spending a minute twenty ingeminating the premise when 
you could instead with brevity pretend to be semi-intelligent. 

[Write. You cannot write. 
Write, on time. 
Three days until the deadline, 
still not having written a word? 
Write. You cannot write. 
You cannot...write words. 
Write. You cannot... 
...write on time.]

Dear waste paper basket, this halfwitted draft 
written past the halfway mark's definitely getting trashed, 
pretty fast. It is massively daft. 
Asininity about to hit critical mass. 
When you tell yourself you won't finish the given task, 
you're spitting scientific facts. It's simple math. 
At the risk of getting crass, you and your shitty raps 
are committing acts of lyrical Syrup of Ipecac. 
If they don't skip this track, you're getting ripped in half. 
Like the the napkin you scratch your inscriptions at. 
They will snicker and laugh, tickled pastel pink 
with nipple clamps and compare you to Nickelback. 
A triple pass of rewrites won't fix this gaffe. 
Your talent's as nonexistent as the middle class. 
You need to get off your ass, you haven't achieved a thing 
since bringing your babysitter back from Fribbulus Xax. 
Maybe it's for the best that all you're gonna do 
is send a dorky message to an audience of you. 
It's been a long time since you seemed promising and new. 
You're a disgrace to your name and your mom is gonna sue. 
Are you getting through to yourself or is it in one ear, 
out the other, as you sputter another opinion? 
Weird? Utterly, but it's been done, all you could think of. 
Enough, pencils down, it's time to give up.

Broken Pixels [Nomad, Equivalent Exchange] - A.L.L.A.H.

NerdcoreVPC