Both Ways by Nicolas Rixon is a synth-pop journey through memory, loss, and longing for what can’t be recovered. Written from a moment where certainty collapsed, it captures the tension of holding two truths at once — love and betrayal, meaning and futility. The chorus reflects the search for faith, connection, and identity, even knowing they’re gone. Co-produced by Matt Catlow, the track leans into a classic 80s palette, using Arturia recreations of the DX7, Fairlight CMI, Synclavier, Juno, and Jupiter 8, alongside Lexicon-style reverbs, Dimension D chorus, and SSL-driven mixing for an authentic, glossy sound. At its heart, Both Ways lives in ambiguity — between who we were, who we are, and who we’ll never be again.

Both Ways (Single)

I never met you, ambiguity
Always knew just how I felt
And now I know
I'm feeling both ways
Was it a premonition, that dream?
And does it matter?
What I know is time is running out 
For you, for me, for everyone
And I have nothing to show

Searching for something I want to believe
Searching for someone no longer with me
Searching for something impossible
All in the past now
(But still, I'm trying)
I was afraid I would never get old
Now I'm afraid I will never be young
With or without having something to show at the end;
Will I even care?

And that's the problem, right there
Cutting corners
Adding less and less to every day
My final spark against the water
While there is power in silence
I have never been able to keep my secrets safe
From you, from me, from everyone
Until nothing remains 

Searching for something I want to believe
Searching for someone no longer with me
Searching for something impossible
All in the past now
(But still, I'm trying)
I was afraid I would never get old
Now I'm afraid I will never be young
With or without having something to show at the end;
Will I even care?

Do I need something that I no longer want?
(I think I remember, remember a seed)
Do I want something that I no longer need?
(Wrapped up in my pocket)


Both Ways

The first time I tried
Whispering my mind
You were very kind
But years down the line
And we come to find
We're both so tired

Tell me what we're living for
Tell me what we're living for
In this town
In this town
Tell me what we're living for
What are we living for?

But I'm fine
It's just my heart's on the line
But I'm fine
I'll take it in my stride
When my heart's on the line

The second time we tried
As if the world was a child
All new
Because a long time ago
I stopped being me
And you stopped being you
So tell me what we're living for
Tell me what we're living for
In this town
In this town
Tell me what we're living for
What are we living for?

But I'm fine
It's just my heart's on the line
But I'm fine
I'll take it in my stride
When my heart's on the line

I'm not ready for the great reset just yet
Ain't got no fuel inside
Any move I make will be in self-defence
'Cause I prefer to hide

After her story
After her glory
Another good woman down
After the thunder
After the rain
Another good woman down

But I'm fine
It's just my heart's on the line
But I'm fine
I'll take it in my stride
When my heart's on the line