The songs and music I listen to on a daily basis. updating it depending on how I feel, what's new and, what I want to listen to and the potential hidden gems I find.

these days

MOODFOREVER

Toska

𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚓𝚘

ｎｏ　ａｉｒ，　ｂｕｔ　ｓｏｍｅｈｏｗ　ｉ　ｂｒｅａｔｈｅ　ｔｈｒｏｕｇｈ

prod by my guy @solofttt
fucking love you all.
more on the way
stay strong
take care; drink water
try to get some rest.
thank you for being here

too much
i don't wanna feel too much
(like what?)
beat up; feet are clamped in the mud
no one
fuck this damper wood i'm hunching over every day
you shouldn't feed me love 'cause i'll regurgitate it anyways

that's the price that i'll pay
not to be overcome by my emotions
a hallow frame, left to be hung on it's own
where nobody'll noticed it's changed
feel that pain of your confusion
and just turn it into music
orchestrations of my patience
retrospective-made illusions

just be cautious not to lose it
'cause some bitch said something stupid
trust me, god i know it hurts
but know your worth and keep on moving
somewhere in the sky
just go outside and raise your head
there's reclusive ways to cleanse yourself
without this constant dread
but this toxin's running deeper
i don't know how long i'll last
i misplaced my faith with hatred
as i'm staring down the glass
i ain't hitting you up like i know you (but i do)
but i'm up a few notches, i'll understand
'cause the past, it haunts you (it does)
i try to reach out, but i got ghost hands

felt too much
now i don't feel enough
felt too much
i may have dove a little deep in the ocean
for my lungs,
couldn't handle the pressure that they had been holding
y'all folding, but i'm focused
honestly i feel omnipotent
only when i get my hands on the potion
or i'm broken, i'm not joking
but maybe if i break daylight, then i'll get shit done
and i'll feel alright
with a tone so stale there was no real cry
on a blood-stained trail, we still bleed overnight
fuck, i bet that you feel it again
incisions embellish your skin
and now you're all alone again
deprived of the people you thought were your friends
i made a couple calls, did they go through?
it ain't fair, i really don't wanna miss you
take care, i'll be blowing on tissues
no air, but, somehow i breathe through
it's 4 in the morning, my guardian's snoring
i'm sorry i lied, i've been sippin away
i'd make me some porridge, but puke it by morning
the cycle is horrid, but i ain't complain

indefinite pain ain't just part of my day
it's been shrouding my brain
like a vulturous gate
this shit's an escape
i'm always afraid
of being locked out of my own mental state
try not to run away just yet, i feel you
breaching my skin, for the meantime

too much 
i don't wanna feel too much
(like what?)
beat up; feet are clamped in the mud
no one
fuck this damper wood i'm hunching over every day
you shouldn't feed me love 'cause i'll regurgitate it anyways
(anyways)

woodworks [prod. soloft]

lyrics// 

youre unbothered when i walk by 
and you only waste my damn time
 i dont think that we can do right 
no chance im not waiting for this green light 

[chorus]
cuz u said u loved me just stop the bluffing, i try so hard
to you im still a deadbeat 
nobody can love you like i did girl 
my bodys been broken im brittle


but ill never say i never let u down 
u were half the reason that i got out of this town
guess ill never get it back huh?
4 months and you left me in the background
aint it funny how we go seprate ways
and we turn right around i swear we never change
and all i wanted was a soul i could save 
u just rot and decay 
six feet inside my grave 
and i would ask you i know u dont listen
if its too much a hassle i’ll go back in the basement
it’s hurt that you’ve discarded the picture that we painted


[chorus]
cuz u said u loved me just stop the bluffing, i try so hard
to you im still a deadbeat 
nobody can love you like i did girl 
my bodys been broken im brittle

[vito]
you call and call
embrace the fall
back to the wall
is where i belong
and i count every second your away
my memory of you has fade to grey

i can pull myself back in real time
lie and say i feel fine 
iv been on a decline 
wish that i could rewind
and take it back to you and i

[pre chorus]
all we ever do is run
and fess up on our broken trust
i wish that i could be the one
iv been tripping on your fucking love

brittle w/ VITO [cxrter]

do not disturb me
when I'm rotting in the ground
fell from in the clouds,
needed a moment to myself, so

I'd die to see you now.
and as though it's any secret,
I'm just full of grief and regret
eating at me like the leeches.

I'm praying to god to kill my feelings,
because this world will not heal me
I'm calling out and you don't hear me
My worst fear, and now the real thing

My worst fear, and now the real thing

What's the fucking point
What's the fucking point if everything never stays

(Wanted to stay, to stay the same way)

Wanted to stay, to stay, the same way

I was never enough so do not disturb me

do not disturb me
when I'm rotting in the ground
fell from in the clouds,
needed a moment to myself, so

I'd die to see you now.
and as though it's any secret,
I'm just full of grief and regret
eating at me like the leeches.

I'm praying to god to kill my feelings,
because this world will not heal me
I'm calling out and you don't hear me
My worst fear, and now the real thing

(Wanted to stay, to stay the same way)

Wanted to stay, to stay, the same way

I was never enough so do not disturb me

I'm praying to god to kill my feelings,
because this world will not heal me
I'm calling out and you don't hear me

My worst fear, and now the real thing

Do Not Disturb (Prod. Gusuck)

i'm sorry

berlin

[he4vy] 
i dont think its fair
and im sure youve got your reasons 
but your words made it so clear 
that im not much more than he is
im sick of being fair
and im tired of having doubted
that out of everything ive feared
youd let your actions speak the loudest

wasting all of the time i get 
instead of 
fighting what comes next i swear 
i always
give up when things get rough
ive got a pit inside my chest and still it wasnt enough
ive got a long road to walk and wind
theres still just 
too much shit on my mind
ive gotta 
calm down and think things twice 
ive had a long hard and lonely life 

[scorpio] 
when did one turn into two,
and three into four?
because im missing you,
now more than before
crazy how we're strangers,
we used to be so much more
promising forever,
now im not so sure

im the problem
it happens often
wish i could turn off my emotions
pulse is racing
my heart is breaking
i know im so dramatic
and you hate it

i dont blame you
after everything we've been through
if i were you
i really would have left too
i dont blame you

do you think im a burden?
is that why you dont reply
am i worth nothing,
to you in your eyes?
is everyone just better?
is that why im left behind?
i dont have to be clever
to know im not worth a try

pit inside my chest ft. scorpio (king theta)

lyrics//

wrote a letter to you 
wrote the date
signed my name
saw in the news
they finallly locked that man away

i dont wanna be the one to talk 
abt the problematic things
used be the one you call
when somethings wrong
but now we don’t agree

mama never learned
my dad tried his best but it only left him burned
sorry that it hurt you
yeah i stayed up every night 
asking “God what is my worth?”

but its all good
its a part of me now
im awful, just a face in the crowd
i wish you were proud.

so i drink another bottle by myself
sick and tired of the feeling that iv felt
said im lying but i know the truth
it’s killing me so im killing you

we were never ones to play it right
and 
i was never one to be aligned
feel the blood flow right into my visine
theres two sides to the silver lining

problematic [idly blare]

movie sample : bull durham (i recommend)

lyrics
i think itd be better if i stopped breathing 
how u take your time will ot stop the bleeding
oh i tried to recognize and it just left me healing
ur face appears in dreams n i cant handle what im seeing

oh i let it slip out my grasp
i take another sip from the flask
maybe if im drunk ill relax
maybe when im dead this will pass

i cannot forget u
i shouldnt have met u
im giving myself room
but that wasnt for you
it happens like time and time again
when this is over can we be friends

how can i rationalize
the shit that goes on in ur mind
i thought i saw but it turns out im blind
give it some time
ill be fed to the mice

ok , you win .  (wraithontheporch)

lyrics

im fighting off something violent
ive gone deaf from ignoring the sirens
i never know how strong i am until im so close to dying
think imma store some energy so i can make a song
and maybe if you opened up then i could right a wrong
this feeling in my chest enough to make my stomach gone
its like the world hate me, looking up like oh my God I-
know you want something better than me girl im not stupid but i lost my-
touch after i touched down from that hospital after i blacked out for the first time
start burning the sage
i dont think its fate that i met you
but im thankful that you stayed
i think youre one of the few

drugs pick me up
lately i been getting fat and crying too much
i gotta get up off my ass and make a song
remember we was driving by them big houses and im thinking to myself "i want this for us"
ill make a song with my friends
i still got that blindfold on im jumping off the fence
i cant wait to pour up
said i cant wait until we fucking blow up
but you still bump my songs thats why i love you so much
so i know that its all in my head
i know that youre all in my head
i know that its all in my head

im fighting off something violent
ive gone deaf from ignoring the sirens
i never know how strong i am until im so close to dying
think imma store some energy so i can make a song
and maybe if you opened up then i could right a wrong
this feeling in my chest enough to make my stomach gone
its like the world hate me, looking up like oh my God I-
know you want something better than me girl im not stupid but i lost my-
touch after i touched down from that hospital after i blacked out for the first time
start burning the sage
i dont think its fate that i met you
but im thankful that you stayed
i think youre one of the few

God I-
know you want something better than me girl im not stupid but i lost my-
touch after i touched down from that hospital after i blacked out for the first time
start burning the sage
i dont think its fate that i met you
but im thankful that you stayed
i think youre one of the few

i think ur one of the few (p. ryan kelly x jolst)

very bad ppl

prod by stezzyxl
enjoy

lyrics:

i met a girl i loved
and everything was fun
i felt the stars align 
our nights were so alive
a rose from you can rot
but love from you can not
our souls are intertwined
this love is hard to find

i can’t loose you
and you can’t loose me
our life’s are so free 
when things are meant to be
who would’ve knew
i fallen for you
i guess i agree
there’s is room for three

when you start
to look at me with those eyes
our worlds start to collide
the night dosent end tonight
only when you decide

she makes some music too
she sings while i produce
hvci, we’re a tiny little crew
she bends and ties her shoes
while we listen to her tunes
i mix and i master from our tiny little room

i never felt this way before
before
i can’t feel anyone unless it’s 
her

bring me peace
and love for me
i counted the days that i was alone
but now im free
with something meant for me
i had so much hatred inside of me

she took it out
she took it out
the hatred inside
she brought it out 
she brought it out
the love inside
and you can see
and you can see
the new look in my eye
and now i say
and now i say
i’m really fine :)

i’m a new person 
i’m a new guy
and you don’t have to mention
all of the sleepless nights
i’m a new person 
im a new guy

bring me peace
and love for me
i counted the days that i was alone
but now im free
with something meant for me
i had so much hatred inside of me

you and me

produced by xona

-lyrics-

stained walls, no faults
closed doors than love
so why do I run when I need her touch?

I’ll tell you the lies
the ones that you fear all inside
oh, the beautiful life
where I wouldn’t pay for the price
of losing you
of losing you
of losing you
of losing you…

~ 

my time slips to phases, the way I plant facades
my life remains weightless, though I don’t get it all
my chest feels anguish, a ghost that you once loved
while no one listened, I’ll be here till dawn

but I’m scared of what I am
seeing you, I don’t want to be friends
i wish to talk, I wished your hand
would reach back without my chances
falling out, I’m stressing how
all things go south
I am all doubts, I am the blame
there’s no around, I’m not unscathed
I’ll never be found

I’ll tell you the lies
the ones that you fear all inside
oh, the beautiful life
where I wouldn’t pay for the price
of losing you
of losing you
of losing you
of losing you…

atlantis

spotify

prod marlon

still find things so terrifying 
i forget im growing up 
ive been stuck so far behind while 
all my friends are moving on 
i try not to cry 
feel like a burden all the time 
no ambition in my life
theres no direction that feels right, to me
its all up to me, why? 
its so heavy all the time
always wrong and never right

how does anyone find meaning, i cant help but feel there's none
never ask for what i need, i don't know what i need at all  
all i care to be is just so far out of my reach 
i don't wanna leave, i just need some space to breathe

its all up to me, why?
its so heavy all the time 
always wrong and never right

heavy

produced by heylog

lyrics:
time will tell
pick the gun up and shoot in the head (in gta)
don't worry
you don't have to get by playing pretend
tried to be nice 
but i ended up losing friends
i disappeared and don't ever wanna talk again

driving on the freeway
the same one i saw that look on your face
you told my boy it's been hard to reach me
"talking to log isn't easy"
stop tryna get me to hangout
without you i've picked up the pace now
just go ahead
select all, delete it
i'm done and i'm leaving
been a while, i wonder if you'd recognize me
always thought what we had was strong as concrete
spoke too soon and i shoulda moved on way long ago
don't know you and i can't believe we used to be close
tempted to pick the gun up and shoot him in the head (in gta)
at the time all i wanted was for you to be dead
stupid bitch, you don't wanna live life playing pretend
don't be asking for guidance or for a hand to lend
swear it felt like yesterday
i don't recognize this place
it sucks that shit's permanent
and that scar won't go away
it don't matter where you are
at your house or in your car
i'm stuck there next to your hip
your fault you took it too far

shoot

i shut myself off, dead
ion feel nun at all
til my eyes cry red
i feel dead by default
til i'm drained out, bled
i still take all the fault
you can blame me instead
i should take all the fault

i never call, we never talk
i never wanted that, i swear
i swear it's off, i swear we're still the same, i thought
thought we'd be over this, i swear it's all my fault
it's all my fault. i always act like i forgot

bitch i'm way more than pissed off
i got fifty in this drum inside my pistol
i'm so close to breaking my streak, cut my wrist raw
i pray to this sawed off, how i hope it blow your lips off

this bitch so psychotic, almost lost it, ion give a fuck
i could kill you right now where you stand, like is you down or what
i hope that you understand that you're way past just fucking up
i know deep inside you're so depressed, lil bitch just suck it up
swear to god bitch suck it up

we're on different pages
but the same book
i'm waiting
for you to find out
what i did, i'm impatient
i should show you
its ok, i'm still sorry
i thought we, had an understanding
i'm sorry

suck it up

TOTAL ECLIPSE (prod. crescnta)

lyrics

soon ill find out this shit taste like water when its late
i hope you satisfied my face stuck gray
youre gold, but i wear silver chains
yall make sure my funeral dont happen in the rain
they counted forty arrows when they made the case
i swear these crows dont do nothing for you except get you stuck
baby my cart is low so when we chill can you bring the blunt
cause im tryna smoke
im tryna smoke so much
im not the same man that you thought you knew
how better i was

i been pouring up some purple potions gotta better my flaws
youre right that i aint get the notion but still i called you
i think you think i have it easy baby what would you do if you were me
but who is me
swear im better off writing my eulogy
im so full of me
at the same time felt a decline in the way that im viewing me
im scraping up rust off my armor maybe that way i could get clean
i feel the atoms that make my being whole just fold and rot and die
she pour out red wine but she rolling brown eyes
i cant fight this battle baby theres a thorn in my side
it feels like too much energy just to try to survivie
i got none left im giving out pieces of my soul for this shit but the songs dropping right?
the songs drop on time
i fought a hard battle but the sword has dulled through time
i put this lighter to the blunt and watch it shine
it look just like a shooting star when im passing by

soon ill find out this shit taste like water when its late
i hope you satisfied my face stuck gray
youre gold, but i wear silver chains
yall make sure my funeral dont happen in the rain
they counted forty arrows when they made the case
i swear these crows dont do nothing for you except get you stuck
baby my cart is low so when we chill can you bring the blunt
cause im tryna smoke
im tryna smoke so much
im not the same man that you thought you knew
how better i was

better i was

thought u knew how better i was

scraping off the rust (p. kaydo)

Official Video

ok, go away (Prod.  Andre)

@youngburial
@93feetofsmoke
@ihateshinigami

prod/mix - fats'e

THX 4  20k FOLLOWERS ON HERE <3

🎈🎀

good at being lonely pt II

rock bottom

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