prod by marlon & jacob vallen

its hard to feel proud
wonder when i fell behind
i cant find a reason now
between the lines

need something i can lean on
just something for myself
people change, it seems im the only one that cant move on at all

sleep away my days, its got me feeling useless
theres alot to say, when i dont i feel like a nuisance 

sleep away i lay awake
don't follow me, my dream is fake
my blood still flows it circulates
clown on stage 

not everything revolves around you, its a hard truth to tell, all this circus has to end
i've been barely proud of myself, this is where i dwell, no more masks we used to lend
from now on it's only no repent, i just do my thing, then i got no one to blame
but in the end i did resent, think i didn't think, enough to see flames

proud w/ marlon

lyrics 
im sweating thru my clothes
do u feel me
u dont know shit about the real me
wake up just to vomit
could u heal me
wake up check my phone and then its back to sleep

ion do this for u
bitch i do it for me
can i skip this cutscene
already know this story
oh it gets disgusting 
my dreams way too gorey
dont know why they care cuz im just way too boring 

hold onto me dear
itll be alright 
im at peace with it
im along for the ride
ive been losing sleep
but still i feel just fine
such an awful sight 
oh it could make me cry

oh my hair is curling like it did before
im gritting thru my teeth i feel like im at war
salt forms on my body from this ocean shore
and if i could rewrite it i dont think i would

im sweating thru my clothes
do u feel me
u dont know shit about the real me
wake up just to vomit
could u heal me
wake up check my phone and then its back to sleep
ion do this for u
bitch i do it for me
can i skip this cutscene
already know this story
oh it gets disgusting 
my dreams way too gorey
dont know why they care cuz im just way too boring

at war (wraith x ne'erdowell)

lyrics

hammer in it
hammerin it
can u try to visit
damage in it
hoe i lived it
you could try to listen
if i went missing
i went missing
would u look for me
try to fix me
u cant fix it
can u try to fix it
hammer in it
hammerin it
can u try to visit
damage in it
hoe i lived it
you could try to listen
if i went missing
i went missing
would u look for me
try to fix me
u cant fix it
can u try to fix it

im chopped into spare parts
is it possible that u could lend a spare heart
i got half a mind to leave it to the deep dark
i got half a mind to burn it with a quick spark

can u hold me back 
while i detox
could there be another road
ion see one
its impossible to live in the deep end
its impossible to see when cash in

hammer in it
hammerin it
can u try to visit
damage in it
hoe i lived it
you could try to listen
if i went missing
i went missing
would u look for me
try to fix me
u cant fix it
can u try to fix it

its never been more over (sorrowbringer)

I'M BACK BABY
I've been cooking up a ton of songs, so regular posts are in order. 
This time for real (:


cool feats coming too, keep an eye out
loved making this with my boy wraith <3

amv made my itai/itoshi: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AerAym1RlfQ
lyrics:

(2x)
oh timing never even really mattered to me
that’s how I keep my balance
I get by on my feet
oh separate me limb by limb 
and sell me for scraps
then you tear apart my packaging
and kill me out back

Oh girl I know
sense that I should go
I should run for cover
try and make it past the oaks

brush up on the trunks
I got resin on my clothes 
as seasons change
I hide my face like
leaves under the snow

fuck I create
the weight
that sits on my back
so many days
to waste
just cut me some slack

fuck I create 
the weight 
that sits on my back
can’t win the chase
this place
it follows my tracks

[wraith]

Stuck below the water
I’m for sure a goner
I know I could cry for help
But I don’t wanna bother

So fucking sick of this
Barely improving
I’m feigning my ignorance
Blowing my smoke
And you barely believe it
Tryna cope
But I’m thinking of leaving

I’m burning the candle from both ends
I watch it igniting my canvas
The pictures I’m trying to paint and
I don’t know how long I can take this

Watch you go
Right out that door
I give it up cause
I’m all out of arguments
I lose control
Just like before
I’m spiraling cause
I think I’ve had enough of this

resin w/ wraith (wraithontheporch)

🍂
lyrics 
she wanna have picnic 
im tryna get my dick licked
she say ima bad vibe
fuckin up her business 

she gimme cold shoulder 
i brush it off like soldiers
we’re only getting olderrrr iiii

i only speak nonsense 
you got better options 
but you chose an artist boy 
leaves falling downhill
in springvillie i’ll cry 

you’re perfect baby i just been in a funk 
don’t wanna talk i been tired as fuck 
lay in my bed and im thinking bout us
you need anything shawty know i’ll be there
100p percent 
leaves falling off my tree feel like deadwood 
shoutout wraith that’s my homie he in deadwood 
i fuck her good yah she know i don’t got deadwood 


she wanna have picnic 
im tryna get my dick licked
she say ima bad vibe
fuckin up her business 

she gimme cold shoulder 
i brush it off like soldiers
we’re only getting olderrrr iiii

i only speak nonsense 
you got better options 
but you chose an artist boy 
leaves falling downhill
in springvillie i’ll cry

leaves (NE’ERDOWELL X 93FEETOFSMOKE)

i'll scream
your name
so loud
it echos away

i can't breathe
oh ur not right here with me
oh such a shame
shame

i've got your blood
all on my hands
oh what a mess
that i have made
i froze im stuck
tell me what the next step is
cause i don't know
how to control
myself

i want this
im watching
like tell me
how do you want love?
im nauseuos
i lost it
right before us
cant help it
im obsessed
with the way you touch
i need you
i cant help 
but feel im not enough


its all okay
maybe that was a lie
you wont ever know
i wont see your face
i do this for nothing
i wake up 
just to find out
its all the same

i've got your blood
all on my hands
oh what a mess
that i have made
i froze im stuck
tell me what the next step is
cause i don't know
how to control
myself

oh what a mess that i have made [muzcean]

lyrics ⬇️


figurative language



im lonely as often as you’re in my head
thoughts been depleting my every last breath
and i know
last year was cold 
reminds of every time i never told you so

said that i couldnt love you like the other ones in my past
you also told me if you dropped me you would never want me back
did that for a month
now its been minute
used me as crutch
til you left cuz you were livid

cut ties with ur enemies cuz ur trippin i could not
then ill be with my homies til im dead and ima rot
maybe everything you said to me was way wrose than you thought 
way too heavy like an anvil please oh lord just wish me gone

wish me gone
ima leave the same second you push me off
you made dive me off that cliff and i hit the bottom i hit the rocks

wheres the applause
 i thought you wanted me out of the universe up me in the stars
somehow it always feel dark
wish i could tell you that i could restart
but i can’t 
every night you talk to me i feel like you want me to feel like i’m an ant
step over me like the part in the pavement 
i feel like you want me rant


i ran out on everything you tried to fix cuz i couldnt pick up ur hand
watch me go down the list as everything i want just wont go to plan
i roll in the rubble and sticks i know that they can’t understand 
if you gave me one more wish then i would wish that i was them

i cant play pretend
cant go through all this again i know ill get revenge
eventually ill explain to everyone what i did
what i did

you scraped away that memory on skin with 
broken glad
tempted to exempt myself from everything i had

dont remind me of that addiction 
everytime i was there in an instant

now atleast where im at im reminded I exist 
sorry that its killing me i wish that we could live

pushing me and honestly i hate when you persist
but i been here ever forever so i cant even resist
i wish that every night you went out when u been drinking outta line wit all ur friends

switch up the top i don’t wanna slip
im off the bottle i wish i had bliss
i was out fully far in the abyss
if we departed id turn to a man and realize that everything you did was

switch the topic (everest)

🦋
(MisFiiT)

coldheart i got that 
big sauce i got that 
trapped in my mind sometimes and it’s so ass
i don’t really socialize
not that kinda butterfly
drip drip drip i cry when the mood ain’t right

i been bumpin all my homies in my earbuds 
you got no buzz
ima songaholic this shit like drugs
percocet molly 
i ain’t runnin i been walkin 
try to shoot i didn’t cock it
i can’t keep my cool im on a rampage 

keep my cool impossible
self improve improbable 
i’m so stagnant 
i can’t ever take flight 
i been bunkered in my room 
till it’s noon and the suns out
girly hit my phone 
she my sadness culprit

music keeps me whole in this dark place 
keep it to myself i ain’t fuckin with the rat race 
suicidal thoughts i am always tryna erase
sleepin in my bed tryna dream more like escape 

ion got a warm heart that shit like a cold one
i been working myself sick like a cold or sum 
feel like icarus my life right now is tough 
thought after thought this shit is way too much 

overbearing i been fighting like a dark soul tryna parry it never works 
i’m speechless at your words but they don’t hurt
i just wanna fly fly fly away like a butterfly maybe like a bird too 

i been blue like a smurf 
so i write another verse
purge out insecurities till im out of words 
this shit is like a diary 
the good and bad sides of me 
my best talent probably 

(wraith)

Baby you’re a butterfly
Darling I’m a moth to the flame
Think I’m sick in the brain
From the med’s that I’ve taken
Losing my sleep
No dreams, getting made here
Night’s get long
All alone, it’s not safe here


Baby I’m already dead to me
For so long, I’ve been trying these melodies
I flop fast, too bad for publicity

And instantly
It fills my head and
I can’t even trust me
My own fucking words seem
Like they never happen

Maybe I’ll be dead next
Maybe I’ll get better
I don’t even know yet
Baby please don’t bother
I won’t mend

(IcarusLurks)

Look at the time I know it’s not changin
Look at my mind I know it’s been racin
I’m burnt out yeah I feel it in my lungs when the light goes down
It’s like I’m losing sight when I look back now
Think I’m falling down 
I watch the wings burn I ain’t coming around and I know 
this fall is gon hurt
I’ve been getting closer and closer to earth

So Fuck it reset 
I done changed to many times to know me best
Still know myself better then most before the regress 
So don’t tell me what you think I fucking need next
I don’t really need much I just wanna regret 
All the fucking time spent tryin fix shit that’s already been offset 
Its all burnt down
I watch the city burn while I fall back down
I wonder what’s mine now
It’s all burnt down

butterfly w/ wraith & IcarusLurks (Slayerr x Triazo)

got another stomach ache
a new home, another shape
broke down on the tracks as you walked away
i’m missing home
i watched it burn today

i’ve been chasing dust
it’s such a long road
i’m walking it
two feet in the dirt
it’s a journey and i’m not equipped
climbing up the bridge to look down on this vacant town
but it’ll never feel the same since you’re gone
it’s a different sound

you would take my hand and tell me i am not a letdown
and if i fall this time you won’t be there
i’ll only hit the ground
i paint it all grey
to show there’s nothing left
i’m in a ghost town
one more day
i’ll no longer be around

stomach ache [deadends]

P. nomansland 

Support my friend enyu!

https://on.soundcloud.com/qUpx1yH6fYpXyzuuwE


Lyrics~

(Swamp) 

My lifes in a spiral 
And I just can’t seem to catch a break
When I tried this shit the passive way 
they hit me at a faster pace 
It was a massacre up there on that caligo hill
Sends A shiver down your serabelem, signal the chills 

Ok yeah I’m back up on attack, there’s just no foldin us 
Grab that ammo load it up 
It’s gettin kinda quiet on this California western front 
Give it all you can until you can’t and hope the war is almost done 
Shell shocked, you’ve had enough 

There you go, you’re telling yourself that never again 
Will you put you’re life on the edge for something that somebody said 
The battle goes on in your head 
And shurly you’ll face a certain death 
But I guess you love that shit because you never left 

(Enyu)

Loaded chambers caught in a deadlock
choke on me like a tight knot
rewinding all of my future plans
hailing down on me till my heart stop
yeah, but i’m still in it
guess i’m twisted
drawn to where i fucking bled
need some god to grant my wishes
rather than be fucking dead

i scrape my wounds when its dark
a shiver down my extremities
and while the whole world fell apart
i stand upfront with serenity
and when I turn around
the time has come for confession
to learn a beautiful lesson
i’m heading outbound
to fend off my imperfections

(Swamp)

Hopefully when the dust settles I’ll be alright 
All intact and alive 
The only loss being time 
Trying to figure out another way to save myself 
From the war in my head, it’s been a living hell

never ending spiral w/ enyu

gravel road 
driving home
every pothole in wisconsin
people grow
i dont know
if we have much in common, anymore

iv been one with the silence
only you can fill my void
promise that im trying
promise this was not my choice

cuz all that i know is defeat
white flags, running back to places iv seen
i know this damn movie by scene and Frame
and characters names
turn it off

its been hard to be honest
i hate whay iv done
left at the bottom
im one with the mud
was never the fondest 
of showing you love
but ill still deposit
your rent every month

half of these problems 
i did it just to make you mad
if im not an option
dont say you will take me back

phone screen just faded black
i couodnt call
board up my windows im sick of your cold
youre passive aggresivly gaining control
remember that halloween
i made you my home

babe its not you it was me
self inflicted wound where i bleed
you had all that i need
if these walls could feel tension theyd scream

stomach ache [deadends]

notcursed