prod by marlon & jacob vallen

its hard to feel proud
wonder when i fell behind
i cant find a reason now
between the lines

need something i can lean on
just something for myself
people change, it seems im the only one that cant move on at all

sleep away my days, its got me feeling useless
theres alot to say, when i dont i feel like a nuisance 

sleep away i lay awake
don't follow me, my dream is fake
my blood still flows it circulates
clown on stage 

not everything revolves around you, its a hard truth to tell, all this circus has to end
i've been barely proud of myself, this is where i dwell, no more masks we used to lend
from now on it's only no repent, i just do my thing, then i got no one to blame
but in the end i did resent, think i didn't think, enough to see flames

proud w/ marlon

lyrics ⬇️ 

its been a lot to bottle up what ive become
ive came to terms with what id done a year ago
but i forgot how we had met and how it crashed and how it burned
you said it would all be worth it in the end maybe wed learn

what i wanted ended faster than i hoped for
its been exhausting my whole memory straight folklore
yea i see dreams along my hall
its been weeks since we last called
maybe i should write it off
i would rather lay than talk

i take anger out on everybody that dont deserve it
but when its wearing off i promise you ill feel like a burden
so when im hurting really bad ill make sure they know im alright 
i did everything i could with what i had i tried fight

but it aint go to plan whenever other thoughts arrived
it made me realize how i wasted all my time

In 2019 i was lost and then i packed my bags im gone
you can’t remind me how i felt unless you slash me with sword
hold tight yea hold tight yea hold tight to me tonight
i have an awful feeling this will be the last time i cry

so if it is please don’t remind me i wont be there tomorrow 
and i regretted when you caught my only shot my only arrow

its only fair tho
i was at my lowest point and i was acting like a scarecrow 
i dont care no

act like you know me like you know how it goes
on the daily
just a microdose 
i think im coming close
please save me


you hate me, i know I been wrong 
im sorry im sorry
full sprint i been on the wrong road
ill hurry ill hurry
hardly what you know you deserve
i wish i had all of that
car crash it hit the curb 
it could be worse-that family okay




yea, way way too quick its a blur
i can’t conjugate i slur
i told my parents im at work- work
think i need a clerk- clerk
before its gets way worse
cuz i can foresee what im talkin bout im jus waitin my turn

my stomach burns -burns
i flip and turn -turn
in my sheets
i cant sleep

hold tight (under the maple tree)

i'll scream
your name
so loud
it echos away

i can't breathe
oh ur not right here with me
oh such a shame
shame

i've got your blood
all on my hands
oh what a mess
that i have made
i froze im stuck
tell me what the next step is
cause i don't know
how to control
myself

i want this
im watching
like tell me
how do you want love?
im nauseuos
i lost it
right before us
cant help it
im obsessed
with the way you touch
i need you
i cant help 
but feel im not enough


its all okay
maybe that was a lie
you wont ever know
i wont see your face
i do this for nothing
i wake up 
just to find out
its all the same

i've got your blood
all on my hands
oh what a mess
that i have made
i froze im stuck
tell me what the next step is
cause i don't know
how to control
myself

oh what a mess that i have made [muzcean]

lyrics ⬇️


figurative language



im lonely as often as you’re in my head
thoughts been depleting my every last breath
and i know
last year was cold 
reminds of every time i never told you so

said that i couldnt love you like the other ones in my past
you also told me if you dropped me you would never want me back
did that for a month
now its been minute
used me as crutch
til you left cuz you were livid

cut ties with ur enemies cuz ur trippin i could not
then ill be with my homies til im dead and ima rot
maybe everything you said to me was way wrose than you thought 
way too heavy like an anvil please oh lord just wish me gone

wish me gone
ima leave the same second you push me off
you made dive me off that cliff and i hit the bottom i hit the rocks

wheres the applause
 i thought you wanted me out of the universe up me in the stars
somehow it always feel dark
wish i could tell you that i could restart
but i can’t 
every night you talk to me i feel like you want me to feel like i’m an ant
step over me like the part in the pavement 
i feel like you want me rant


i ran out on everything you tried to fix cuz i couldnt pick up ur hand
watch me go down the list as everything i want just wont go to plan
i roll in the rubble and sticks i know that they can’t understand 
if you gave me one more wish then i would wish that i was them

i cant play pretend
cant go through all this again i know ill get revenge
eventually ill explain to everyone what i did
what i did

you scraped away that memory on skin with 
broken glad
tempted to exempt myself from everything i had

dont remind me of that addiction 
everytime i was there in an instant

now atleast where im at im reminded I exist 
sorry that its killing me i wish that we could live

pushing me and honestly i hate when you persist
but i been here ever forever so i cant even resist
i wish that every night you went out when u been drinking outta line wit all ur friends

switch up the top i don’t wanna slip
im off the bottle i wish i had bliss
i was out fully far in the abyss
if we departed id turn to a man and realize that everything you did was

switch the topic (everest)

Prod. Michael Harrison 
Sorry I’m so experimental
Lyrics~

I’m so unspoken 
It’s all so hopeless 
This pen and pad the only way I’m copin 
Is it the tree that I drag  or the asthma that got me chokin 
No don’t come in please I’m ok  I’m just smokin 
But I haven’t seen you in weeks 
Talk back to my door as it speaks
Just checking in, can you breathe 
Answer me now and I’ll leave 

I been tryina write these tracks 
About what I feel but they trash 
Then do it again and again till I crash 
knew the caffeine wouldn’t last 
What a drag 
As I waste all the traits that I got from my mom and my dad 
I know this time it’s my bad 
I’m Haunted by all the ghosts from my past 

It’s crazy cause you’re like a poltergeist stuck in the shell of a man that you used to be 
Fuck you I hate you get out of that room shits getting old just give up on your dreams 
The puppeteers back at my door I can feel all his malice intent as he tries to tell what to think 
Like shit let me breath, quit pulling my strings

feed me to the noise

thank you for listening
thank you for being here

prodby @chillsebs

though at war, he's been indoors, the body sore, and torn, and dormant
if i don't wanna talk about it, least i'm being honest
thorns of those adored remain accomplice to the hardship
he's always fallen short of pulling swords from out the garden
the polishing of floors becomes reflective that he's tarnished
back it up before the words contort from what i wanted
evenings on a porch he's never bore of taking part in
endorsement of that orange supports the forging of despondence

time clots when you have the stopwatch break
i won't be disappointed if you show up late
the kettles had been settled in support of the weight
his temple thus embezzled of it's coriander brain

girl i was your home, guess you rent me
broken out of stone that is my bones, smithing weapons
monochrome that dome, devoid of glow yet ascending
closing of the mold would only hone in the essence

split at the waist, forced to guard, stood in place
and every morning that breaks subjects his soul to ablaze
he'd prefer being burnt to a pile of sage,
where the ache in the air is relieved of it's grave

missing targets that he really shouldn't
uncompressed when melodies are fluid
stake it like it's weak against the turmeric
beings want his blood for their consuming
puppet felt the tug and pull of nothing
ponders why and how he's always running
shit had changed with loss and gain of loving
mercy at the gravity of what is

i really think i'mma erode, the moment i've struck any gold, aye
just let me go, just let me go, you do not know me
hope is a torturous road, but gonna see where it goes, babe
she left me alone, now nobody knows
absent of warning

girl i was your home, guess you rent me
broken out of stone that is my bones, smithing weapons
monochrome that dome, devoid of glow yet ascending
closing of the mold would only hone in the essence

pendragon (chill sebs x poppy ozu)

picture perfect

lyrics

soon ill find out this shit taste like water when its late
i hope you satisfied my face stuck gray
youre gold, but i wear silver chains
yall make sure my funeral dont happen in the rain
they counted forty arrows when they made the case
i swear these crows dont do nothing for you except get you stuck
baby my cart is low so when we chill can you bring the blunt
cause im tryna smoke
im tryna smoke so much
im not the same man that you thought you knew
how better i was

i been pouring up some purple potions gotta better my flaws
youre right that i aint get the notion but still i called you
i think you think i have it easy baby what would you do if you were me
but who is me
swear im better off writing my eulogy
im so full of me
at the same time felt a decline in the way that im viewing me
im scraping up rust off my armor maybe that way i could get clean
i feel the atoms that make my being whole just fold and rot and die
she pour out red wine but she rolling brown eyes
i cant fight this battle baby theres a thorn in my side
it feels like too much energy just to try to survivie
i got none left im giving out pieces of my soul for this shit but the songs dropping right?
the songs drop on time
i fought a hard battle but the sword has dulled through time
i put this lighter to the blunt and watch it shine
it look just like a shooting star when im passing by

soon ill find out this shit taste like water when its late
i hope you satisfied my face stuck gray
youre gold, but i wear silver chains
yall make sure my funeral dont happen in the rain
they counted forty arrows when they made the case
i swear these crows dont do nothing for you except get you stuck
baby my cart is low so when we chill can you bring the blunt
cause im tryna smoke
im tryna smoke so much
im not the same man that you thought you knew
how better i was

better i was

thought u knew how better i was

scraping off the rust (p. kaydo)

lyrics ⬇️ 


i like your lips my love but you dont talk
wont work at all i know im far from you
but please dont insult me
id rather you ghost me as you do
and its a shame that i cant trust a single thing you say

a dusty brain i can’t explain all of the stuff that i went thru
dropped from a crane
cant word this pain but i promise you its nothin new 
want me to blink
wake up to drink
i slowly sink i see its true
no saving grace thats all i’ll say
i cant escape when you dont prove
I know ill lose
theres no excuse 
cuz i cant shake this grave today

say it to my face
or ill be in your way for awhile girl
you dont want that for sure
yea you dont text back for hours at a time
lowkey it massacres my heart when you say that but never why

never wanna know how i feel i keep it in the back of my mind
runnin out cuz i know know that you think i wouldn’t see
but you don’t got a clue cuz you dont know me
Know i wish you could
i had all the time in the world

Dont cover your eyes
i wanna see them in the light
just once jus once
just one “more” time
i never expected you to feel like i was always what you want
know i never was know i never was
well i wish that you could see what i saw

as you do (everest)

gravel road 
driving home
every pothole in wisconsin
people grow
i dont know
if we have much in common, anymore

iv been one with the silence
only you can fill my void
promise that im trying
promise this was not my choice

cuz all that i know is defeat
white flags, running back to places iv seen
i know this damn movie by scene and Frame
and characters names
turn it off

its been hard to be honest
i hate whay iv done
left at the bottom
im one with the mud
was never the fondest 
of showing you love
but ill still deposit
your rent every month

half of these problems 
i did it just to make you mad
if im not an option
dont say you will take me back

phone screen just faded black
i couodnt call
board up my windows im sick of your cold
youre passive aggresivly gaining control
remember that halloween
i made you my home

babe its not you it was me
self inflicted wound where i bleed
you had all that i need
if these walls could feel tension theyd scream

a movie i’ve memorized [jacob vallen]

from a year ago <3

Its a total different picture,  
ur not here inside the photo frames  
I can really not forget you,  
what we had was real but it felt so fake 
and I don’t really wanna listen,  
to the bad things that u have to say 
I know got some bad habits  
I promise one day they will go away  x2

I love to lose my head,
I smoke up cuz im sad again 
and I know it will pick me up for time,  
it comes crashing down, I do it all again 
im just rolling up till the sunrise
and you know that im dead u can see it in my eyes

I cannot manage,  
oh shits fucked up,
Damn that’s tragic  
put me in the past tense 
they too busy laughing, 
I been building what I have for years, 
I don’t know if it’ll take me anywhere ill see 
right past the ocean I feel the breeze 
im way past emotions, I think I feel free

oh what a mess that i have made [muzcean]

yungcray

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