MUSIC BOX

walking to a place i’ve never been

prod. mixed, and mastered by me 
shoutout @prodbyaustyn for the co-prod on this one :)
also @t3rmes for the songwriting on the hook when my brain hurted <3

---------------

20 now, this isn't how 
i thought it would work out 
breaking vows, might take a bow 
because i'm tired of feeling down 
put all my anger into a microphone 
it's no ones fault but my own please just let me be alone 
all my friends they were plastic, and i'm was silicone 
fit into molds, now watch me grow 
i won't see it through, to twenty two 
i thought i had nothing to lose 
maybe views, or my muse 
i hope these thoughts i have the chance to defuse 
buts it's looking that i might just have to give it up 
stay at the bottom while all my friends, they live it up 
i've got potential i guess i just gotta pick it up 
im getting up, i've had enough

falling out of touch with who i am 
revolving, my mind a door, it's turning 
am i deserving? 
stalling all the opportunities at hand 
to hear them applauding, is all that i want, but i'm so exhausted 

i've been so exhausted 
i feel like a hostage
in my brain, i've lost it, 
wilt away watch my friends all blossom
sun don't shine, upon me 
petals they're all falling 
in my head, it's daunting, 
being left behind in the dawning 

the sun never gon shine when i'm stuck all alone 
the stars won't align, when i'm left in the cold
the thought are benign, but they're taking a toll 
the sun never gon shine when i'm stuck all alone 
the stars won't align, when i'm left in the cold
a flower dead in the night, out of sight, decomposed

rumination

zinnia

19 and feeling blue, and i don't know whats gotten into you
so sick of all the bullshit and lies
so sick of all the fake love
so cry
i won't be there for you, even if you want me to
can't face the complications
i don't want negotiation
so

don't hold my hand when it gets rough
you know i'll just call your bluff
i know you'll just call it love
when hurt is all that is does

so hard to forget about you
why won't our plans go through
i know you wanted me
i know i wanted you

so hard to forget about you
why won't our plans go through
i know you wanted me
i know i wanted you

i'll light up a cigarette for us
is that your idea of love?
i just wish you'd pull me closer
cos' i'm only getting older
and it hurts to say you're fake
but i can't say it any other way
hope my memories fade
don't wanna see you today

don't hold my hand when it gets rough
you know i'll just call your bluff
i know you'll just call it love
when hurt is all that is does

bluff

li.sten.to/stillalive
feat. @yvesxtc
@ripavah on instagram
@1avah on tiktok

to make a song with my fav artist is crazy, hope y'all enjoyed this here's a tune from the deepest of my schizo mind

lyrics:
Back then, I'd say
You're way too far away
Hello kitty dagger in my hand
About to stab myself right in the chest

She be like, heh, I'm a slut for romance
Everyone be doubting, let me show them
Shoutout to the Avah fam, we're glowing
Lets grow man, hating all my enemies hope one day that I ghost them

Acting like you're on a tightrope
You're situations are not deep it's not hard
You've gone far, we're so far
Maybe we'll both make it and you'll become a movie star

Just sick of all the lies, don't apologize
No need for apologies, cuz you ain't ever see me cry
And don't you sit me down, I'll send a hundred round
You gonna ride around the town, cuz ain't nobody around

And your a sight for sore eyes, look between the fault lines
Here my fault lies, why cant you look me in my eyes
Please don't wait for me, this hate you see
Shows I'm aching please, don't help me please

Notice where your body feels most relaxed
Let that feeling of relaxation grow with every breath
You can choose to focus on counting
And become more relaxed as each number passes through your mind

I'm a slut for romance
Everyone be doubting, let me show them
Shoutout to the Avah fam, we're glowing
Lets grow man, hating all my enemies hope one day that i ghost them

Acting like you're on a tightrope
You're situations are not deep it's not hard
You've gone far, we're so far
Maybe we'll both make it and you'll become a movie star

Back then, I'd say
You're way too far away
Hello kitty dagger in my hand
About to stab myself right in the chest

She be like, heh, I'm a slut for romance
Everyone be doubting, let me show them
Shoutout to the Avah fam, we're glowing
Lets grow man, hating all my enemies hope one day that I ghost them

Acting like you're on a tightrope
You're situations are not deep it's not hard
You've gone far, we're so far
Maybe we'll both make it and you'll become a movie star

Just sick of all the lies, don't apologize
No need for apologies, cuz you ain't ever see me cry
And don't you sit me down, I'll send a hundred round
You gonna ride around the town, cuz ain't nobody around

And your a sight for sore eyes, look between the fault lines
Here my fault lies, why cant you look me in my eyes
Please don't wait for me, this hate you see
Shows I'm aching please, don't help me please

Notice where your body feels most relaxed
Let that feeling of relaxation grow with every breath
You can choose to focus on counting
And become more relaxed as each number passes through your mind

Romance
Everyone be doubting, let me show them
Shoutout to the Avah fam, we're glowing
Lets grow man, hating all my enemies hope one day that I ghost them

Acting like you're on a tightrope
You're situations are not deep it's not hard
You've gone far, we're so far
Maybe we'll both make it and you'll become a movie star

still alive

slut4romance (feat. moodyriley)

other platforms

slut4romance (w/ yves) [shinyy]

hai
rics:
good luck telling me what it is i want
there's no telling me.
there's no telling me.

cuz im the pain that i felt
im the troubles that i set out for 
im the tears in this bucket that i caught inside this rainstorm
and i know fear comes from me and its something i felt
and i got something to say but i just cant yell
cuz ill whisper what i need inside cos
i dont need attention i
just need to feel
infatuated
need to feel infatuated

why are you choosing everything over me?
lets crucify the king
false prophets on the streets i
need to commit to something
i need to commit to something
in the the eye of the storm
bloody teeth set like gore
and its 5:54 
in the morning
reasons to live i abort them
not having a purpose has never felt more purposeful to me
and thats exactly why what you say has never meant anything 

i saw mom and dad give up on all their dreams
how come my dearest friends choose everything and everyone besides me?
and everytime i lick my fingers they always bleed
i need self assurance
you need validation
so lets cower behind the backs of opinions that we do not meet

and when the curtains finally fell
i got rid of this veil
ill leave nothing behind for myself
switch the key cuz i felt like it
i found a flow and i like it

so dont you ever think you can put your hands back on me
ive become the person i set out to be
who i wanted to be

can i have a seat at the cool kids table?
infatuated by the way they lie like a fable
no, actually. ill sever every connection i have just to find some inner peace.

grit my teeth im so so fed up
i dont want flowers or goddamn petals
blow it open confetti im troubled
bite my lip till it tastes like metal

yea

she tells me to breathe, keeps tellin me to breathe. 

just breathe.

infatuation

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/1nMZgvCrCAWeEvmzVPIAzP?si=2a160f10be224ae6
@dylanlongworth

i spend so much time
by myself
i burn the feelings,
hide in my skin
it hurts when u say
that i was right
blame myself
everytime i cry

i throw away my phone
just to get over it
it's hard
i know
it's addicting
and once uve done it
you can't just stop
you're stuck with it

and youre stuck with it
cry & cry the tears they fall
no its not your fault
youre in the right after all

wish they'd treat me right, wish they'd treat me well
is it too much to ask for? i need help
i'm just a burden to you

its all a waste, i disappear
i know u hate the things u hear
the time is up, things now cant heal
its too late now, bloods everywhere

stuck in the past, got nowhere go
u take a razor, let it break through
your skin & eyes its so beautiful
yet you cant stop and kill it real slow

the pain in your voice
made it so obvious
im stuck in ur head,
dont try & deny it
u killed me inside of ur nightmares
u break down on the floor, and shed down tears

u write a letter to your past
you made it up, things now wont last
the scars u made, they wont heal fast
u changed, with that the old me passed

and i hate the way i miss your face 
cause i built these walls i can't escape, 
carve up my wrists, stand in the rain,
it's your voice i miss, don't miss the pain,

it's insane, where does the hate end 
cause my head was crushed on the pavement 
i don't think that i deserve saving 
it's my life, i'll fuck it and take it 

i can't sang that song or go to that place 
without feeling wrong, i might just erase the past 
i'm not missing what we had, of what we had

burden

burden +dylan longworth

~ alexithymia ~
n. a neuropsychological phenomenon expressing important difficulties in identifying and describing the experienced emotions by oneself or others. It also involves emotional issues in terms of social attachment and interpersonal relations. There is no scientific agreement whether this neuropsychological phenomenon is a personality trait, a medical symptom or eventually a mental disorder.

prod. by me and @bdsm2
mastered by @alisynn

dolorem obscura

alexithymia (outro)

out now, everywhere: https://discxrdia.fanlink.to/longinus
prod: @prodbykori & me

lyrics:
I'm not enough for them
because I'm way better
if you don't wanna rot right there
let's scape toguether

it's self destructive
how we teach ourselves to hide from eachother
I'm self assured that I'm not made for that kind of life
and i'll take my decisions and take another path
lead my way angel in my back
fuck so vicious and don't get used to their lives
i wanna cut their tongues and then run away

i need your love 
I'm a broken rose

i need your love
I'm fucking tired of this world arround me
people tryna drown me
and it's so fucking hard
to keep my moral high enough 
so i don't sink

as time passes i need to think in a way to leave this fucking city
as time crashes in our minds i stare at you and

i need your love
I'm a broken rose

i need your love
I'm wating for you
even though i have no clue of what to do
realized it was you
the one who stayed by my side
the one who kept me from losing my mind




kingslayer coming soon!

longinus

HOOK:
Over the edge, over the edge I tried 
(and I don't wanna say goodbye ; I don't wanna say goodbye)
I've been done, done with life
(yeah, i just wanna die, i just wanna die)
you just want waste my time
(so I won't reply, I won't reply)
I can't take all these lies
(i just wanna fly, i just wanna fly)

VERSE:*will be updated asap*

Over the edge

Over the edge w/ Evilmiku (Wixxy)

out now, everywhere: https://discxrdia.streamlink.to/discxrdia-obelisk

prod: @prodbykori & me

lyrics:
am i fucking up everything around me
and i'm coming for you
cause there's no one besides me
and i'm lost 
and i'm crawling
it's so raw
but everytime i start to forget

how you fell 
into my arms
the pain is so warm that i wanna stay
cause i don't know nothing better than this
and it's at my own risk
cause i'll stand like an obelisk

and ill cut you down the fucking throat
rip your head off
and get the crown
i'm not afraid 
to defy all this country
i offer my soul to myself
cause i'm my own hell

am i fucking up everything around me
and i'm coming for you
cause there's no one besides me
and i'm lost 
and i'm crawling
it's so raw
but everytime i start to forget

how you fell 
into my arms
the pain is so warm that i wanna stay
cause i don't know where to go 
i'm on my own
fighting those demons
that are always around
pin me to the ground
and i can't get up but i have to somehow

fighting is like a drug
as i don't know nothing better than this
and it's at my own risk 
cause ill stand like an obelisk

and you're always looking out the window 
wondering why we're here
and you have that innocent look 
i can't keep up with you

swords right through all my bones
and i'm still thinking about you

fighting is like a drug
as i don't know nothing better than this
and i'm fighting tryna keep going on 
but i cant
break me down cause there's nothing left

stay by my side at your own risk
keep on with me 
i don't know how else to say it
that i'm not good for you
obelisk

kingslayer soon.

kingslayer

obelisk

dont give a damn (ft. ay!jd)

kingslayer ✦

https://linktr.ee/discxrdia

obelisk

discxrdia

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