synthy flow, money. dreamy  vibe with the inst mixed with your flow.

Night Time

pop these pills till its over
everybody hating on lil october
thats why im staying high
no im never staying sober
ill see you in the sky girl
im never growing older
im caught in the same pain
im always growing colder
dont even know my full name
you call yourself a doxxer
girl cut up my brain
call her a doctor
get a new bitch in the same day
and i dont even want her

if you tryna hurt me
youll prolly succeed
ive got hella ops
but its me vs me
if u want me to stop
hit the thc
on the grind to the top
with my bpd
if you tryna hurt me
youll prolly succeed
ive got hella ops
but its me vs me
used to wanna be a cop
endless misery
watch your body drop
coz its me vs me

these thoughts in my brain 
askin me why id stay 
my life is a nightmare 
it wont go away
i lie through my teeth
and say that im okay
pretend that its normal be feelin this way
its not okay 
its not alright
the battle inside is like every night
myself wants to kill me 
i put up a fight
im still wearing the mask 
when i pick up the pint
put that shit to my head
it cant be the end
i just wanted out
now im on the fence
i know its crazy
but in my defense
i prolly am too
im off of the meds 
like i said im borderline
whatd you expect
got a hole in my soul
but im gettin bread
my horizon is somewhere that 
ill never tread
holdin on to what ive got 
and the pain wont end

if you tryna hurt me
youll prolly succeed
ive got hella ops
but its me vs me
if u want me to stop
hit the thc
on the grind to the top
with my bpd
if you tryna hurt me
youll prolly succeed
ive got hella ops
but its me vs me
used to wanna be a cop
endless misery
watch your body drop
coz its me vs me

me vs me w/ HKFiftyOne (prod. Xenshel)

"Watch You Leave (feat. Ivri & Brecken)"
Produced by Ocean

 Thank you all who listen

*lyrics*
It's kind of odd watching you be a person I can't recognize but I'm glad you're okay
And I'm not used to the emotional withdrawal, could i get a hug before you drift away?
The winter season how it loves to mock me, I can't be who you need, it’s written all on your face
If awkward silence and a two word answer is the best you can do it's time we go our own ways

Most days, Most nights, I was walking by myself
You took my side, I knew I wanted nothing else
But the clouds move too quickly, I can't stop the weather
Took my heart just to keep it for yourself

Too many nights without you
My brain lacks all the right screws
Time might well be overdue

Why do I make it worse than it has to be
You could let me try
Or I could watch you leave
I could watch you leave
I could watch you leave, me

Never knew love life could be this bad
Crashed out
Put down
I never knew life could be this sad but
Troubled minds think alike

I'd love to think that it's all in my head,
but that's a lie

I heard that you wanted me dead, blocked now and I know it depends
On how I sin with my friends
Blew clouds, and I'll do it again

Wake up, I don't wanna live another day if I don't change up
I hope I change up

Most days, Most nights, I was walking by myself
You took my side, I knew I wanted nothing else
But the clouds move too quickly, I can't stop the weather
Took my heart just to keep it for yourself

Too many nights without you
My brain lacks all the right screws
Time might well be overdue

Watch You Leave w/ Ivri & Brecken (Prod. Ocean)

prod secre x tiedforsilver

i dont need a thought process
could do without the options
tell me what to be i feel like nothing but an object
i could be your prospect
you could be my prophet
wheres the road ahead of us gone i think ive lost it lost it

im nauseous
scratch that i meant noxious
fill my body up let it dissolve with all your toxins
i cannot be cautious
sorry im obnoxious
i dont mean to be a pain i dont know how to stop it

what do you want from me
ill try to be
your anchor
indefinitely
ill writhe and seethe
in anger
why are we 
so blind to see
a stranger
as a friend
with good intentions
never

(you and i could try to work it out)
ive spent enough time in my mind to know its not the answer
is there a god in the sky respond to my prayer
maybe i wanted to die i couldnt find my savior

turn me into sumn i cant even look at
stare into a mirror and a stranger is what looks back
8 grams in my book bag
smokin after school to kill the feelings that i hold back

ripped away at my life
got gutted with my own knife
im tired of livin in strife
i thank the demon inside

that caused the place i reside
to wither in front of my eyes
you couldnt keep me alive
no matter how hard you try

i dont need a thought process
could do without the options
tell me what to be i feel like nothing but an object
i could be your prospect
you could be my prophet
wheres the road ahead of us gone i think ive lost it lost it

im nauseous
scratch that i meant noxious
fill my body up let it dissolve with all your toxins
i cannot be cautious
sorry im obnoxious
i dont mean to be a pain i dont know how to stop it

what do you want from me
ill try to be
your anchor
indefinitely
ill writhe and seethe
in anger
why are we 
so blind to see
a stranger
as a friend
with good intentions
never

wha- wha-
want from me
ill try to be
your anchor
indefinitely
ill writhe and seethe
in anger
why are we 
so blind to see
a stranger
as a friend
with good intentions
never

strawberry amnesia

https://soundcloud.com/hkfiftyone2
https://soundcloud.com/angelsofsorrows

I only feel like myself when I'm high
I'm still coming up, want a piece of the pie
Man every time I roll up, got so much on my mind
And every day I feel dead now, but I'm still alive

I only feel like myself when I'm high
I could see myself, penthouse in the sky
Then it's done, here again, I can't eat, don't know why
Get that cash, stay the grind, take a hit, i'll be fine

One day feel like me then the other different person
My mind never set straight yeah it's written all in cursive
But it's got a story ending on a cliffhanger
It's JoshIGuess I'm always dropping the bangers

Importance for years yet still got to decide
If any of choices are bad sacrifice
And everyone leave me so got no advice
But I'd rather figure out my own reside

Only feel like myself when I'm up to the mic
But the camera's too close to me like it gon snipe
Some of you guys just rely on a swipe
But that's not how I want to use my device

I only feel like myself when I'm high
I'm still coming up, want a piece of the pie
Man every time I roll up, got so much on my mind
And every day I feel dead now, but I'm still alive

I only feel like myself when I'm high
I could see myself, penthouse in the sky
Then it's done, here again, I can't eat, don't know why
Get that cash, stay the grind, take a hit, i'll be fine

I'll be fine, I'll be fine
I'll be fine, I'll be fine (yeah i'll be fine)
Yeah I'ma get by I'ma live my life to the fullest
I'ma not be stupid I'ma live
I'ma keep on going and I ain't give a shit
And I found my inner self, yeah
But it comes with sacrifices
Now I know why people tend to stay the same, yeah

I only feel like myself when I'm high
I'm still coming up, want a piece of the pie
Man every time I roll up, got so much on my mind
And every day I feel dead now, but I'm still alive

I only feel like myself when I'm high
I could see myself, penthouse in the sky
Then it's done, here again, I can't eat, don't know why
Get that cash, stay the grind, take a hit, I'll be fine

I'll be fine
Yeah I'll be fine, I'll be fine, let's go (yeah i'll be fine)

spotify

i'll be fine w/ hkfiftyone & angelsofsorrows (quitall)

sometimes i feel like a ghost in a crowd
its purgatory and i wont make it out
im not alive and i dont really know how
i got no voice youll never hear if i shout

i know im dead to you, but i got unfinished business that i gotta do like
tell you that i love you still,
even if i never made enough to pay the bills

im working hard in death
got so much on my plate i never catch my breath
i swear it helps to know that im already dead

sometimes i feel like im a ghost

like im dead, like my coffin is my bed
i want to finally rest, but your voice is in my head
ive haunted this whole town, but im still left feeling down
youre the only one i want
i cant have you, i cant touch you,
im a ghost

i know you wont look my way
its done this time i know itll stay
each day act my part in the play
i know youre gonna say, that i just need to pray

i need to find something that makes me feel magic
i guess thats weed and alcohol makes me manic
i try to be okay now but its too tragic

sometimes i feel like im a ghost

like im dead, like my coffin is my bed
i want to finally rest, but your voice is in my head
ive haunted this whole town, but im still left feeling down
youre the only one i want
i cant have you, i cant touch you,
im a 
ghost

Ghost (Unplugged)

ghost (unplugged version)

this is the story of a boy who knew too much
so the world was always gray, and he had no sense of touch
and he kept himself real safe inside the confines of his bed
but he was not alone, hearing all the words been said

all my friends are the demons in my head
and we always have a talk every time i go to bed
but i don't think they're my favorite, they just wanna rub it in
that you're probably gone forever, but i should not give a shit 'cause

that's life, but i really wish it ain't
'cause like everytime i panic, i can't breath and then i faint
but it's probably 'cause i never eat enough, now i'm drained
i just got no appetite since you split, i'm detained

this is the story of a girl who felt too much
she just wanted to be held, but she rarely felt a touch
and the distance always broke her, the connection turned to rust
so now she's somewhere out there, and there's no one that i trust

with her

this is the story of a boy who's now grown up
he spends his time alone, he minds his business, makes some bucks
he knows he has to stay here even when he feels it tug
there's nothing on the other side, it's all the same but just more fucked

The Story

the story

i think i hate everything that i ever loved
now that the fire snuffed
baby im packing up boxes of things that you gave me
and things that im running from

but "baby" ain't "baby" no more
cause im out on my own and im feeling numb
turn it up loud on my speakers
and lay on the floor 'til i feel the drums

i cannot drink, i cannot smoke
the blood from ym vomit keep burning my throat
im tryna get by but my heart beating slow
and if i ever left i know no one would know

sometimes i find myself grabbing my phone
every time that i be way too alone
but then i just drop it cause im at the bottom already
no point now in making it known

its all gonna be okay real soon
real soon

i feel abandoned, cause im a burden
maybe im fucked up, i know that for certain
got a life sentence now this is the verdict
death penalty, to the void im returning
im hoping to God that i dont end up burning
im doing my best but im just really hurting
i just need a break for a sec now im cursing
i scream at myself with these insults im hurling

im losing myself, im losing my brains
im losing the lifeforce that course through my veins
feel like my body is wrapped up in chains
tape on my mouth so they think im okay

dont even know who i am in this verse
i feel too much, now im blessed with a curse
its just like a nightmare but way fucking worse
and the only way out is the back of a hearse

sinking

LYRICS 


S3 

By the way I am 
I can tell that you're not 
I can tell that you're mad 
I can tell that you're not 
I can tell you ain't right 
don't worry about me all the time 
I can't tell you're not alright 



HK

Wont you tell me what is now, cause I gave up
dont give a shit now cause im based up
but thats a lie cause i give a fuck
i just cant show it when i get my bucks

im ruthless, im cold as fuck
im dead inside, im feeling stuck
everytime you gone, got my Rugar tuck
need it just in case when i push my luck

everytime you gone, im not staying safe
but i pray for you in His saving grace
know its been a while, hope you been okay
know its not the same, and i know we changed


S3 & HK 

i know you stay in your own lane
you dont check on me, and i do the same
like every day, it's not worth the pain
if we ever got back, won't be the same

Pick myself back up 
just gotta keep on pushing through 
when everything is fucked
know I'ma do this I'ma be alright 
I'ma be fine 

Changed (Ft HkFiftyOne) prod. Paxor

@killedmyself

20 years have caught up wit me n they fucked up my mental
she tellin' me she in love wit me but she ain't ever do no sentimental
amphetamines have caused cavities to just rot out in my dental
all my life i felt worthless can somebody tell me what i'm meant for?

all my life i felt worthless
i took my heart and i purged it
never comin up to the surface

thought that you would be worth it
i thought that you was perfect
tell me what'd i do to deserve this?

take me back,
take me back to the real world
take me back,
take me back to when i couldn't feel

rip my heart straight from my ribcage
i've been led astray from the good place
i've ran out of luck where did my good days go
the place in which i reside no longer feels like home

20 years have caught up wit me n jus fucked up my mental
tellin' me she in love wit me but she ain't ever do no sentimental

20 years have caught up wit me n they fucked up my mental
she tellin' me she in love wit me but she ain't ever do no sentimental
amphetamines have caused cavities to just rot out in my dental
all my life i felt worthless can somebody tell me what i'm meant for?

real world

real world (killedmyself)

i dont want you to see my face
i dont want to feel this pain
i just want to go away
want to leave, im forced to stay
honestly my soul is aching
theres no hell, you'd be mistaken
you dont see the bones im breaking
im so tired i cannot take it

stepping through the stones in the valley of death
did all i could do, i gave it all of my breath
breaking all the promises that i ever kept
falling to the floor, and then the heavens, they wept

Night Time

Jacky B

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SHYUZI (@shyuzi_)

Jed Lapp (Cozmo Jethro)

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