instrumental, vocals and artwork by me

Under the moonlight, I'm thinking of you and I 
I finally have what i need for the first time in my life
We barely see each other and it's all fine
When you'll see my growth i want you to be surprised

Don't look in my eyes
You'll see the abyss
The darkest of thougts 
Oh please don't look at this

Never look at this

Focus on the positive and don't ask me too much about my fights
EVERY FUCKING DAY I FEEL LIKE THEY WANT TO END MY LIFE
I'm playing with your hair, making sure you can feel safe
EVERY JOKE YOU MAKE MAKES ME FEEL IN DANGER

I SEE STRANGERS, I'M READY TO PULL OUT MY KNIFE
THEY COULD LOCK ME UP IF THEY HEARD MY THOUGTS
I CAN'T TRUST A SOUL THEY COULD MAKE ME DIE
I'M ACTING LIKE I'M OKAY WHEN I TALK TO YOUR MOM ...

T'as pas besoin de savoir tout ça
Tu crois connaitre mes secrets mais c'est bien trop grave
Si un jour tu me fuis je t'en voudrais pas
Ma psy m'a bien dit que j'étais trop dangereux pour mon entourage

On m'a menacé de m'enfermer mais j'suis bon qu'à esquiver
J'veux de mal à personne donc je m'enferme dans mes pensées
CHAQUE ETOILE DANS LE CIEL EST MORTE
LAQUELLE DE MES VOIX SERA LA PLUS FORTE ??? 

Focus on the positive and don't ask me too much about my fights
EVERY FUCKING DAY I FEEL LIKE THEY WANT TO END MY LIFE
I'm playing with your hair, making sure you can feel safe
EVERY JOKE YOU MAKE MAKES ME FEEL IN DANGER

I SEE STRANGERS, I'M READY TO PULL OUT MY KNIFE
THEY COULD LOCK ME UP IF THEY HEARD MY THOUGTS
I CAN'T TRUST A SOUL THEY COULD MAKE ME DIE
I'M ACTING LIKE I'M OKAY WHEN I TALK TO YOUR MOM ...

CHAQUE ETOILE DANS LE CIEL EST MORTE
LAQUELLE DE MES VOIX SERA LA PLUS FORTE ???

I CAN'T TRUST A SOUL

Better In Time ft.babyave  (afterlife)

prod iof <3

are you happy now?

[lyrics:]
i think i dont need you anymore
i think im finally over you
so many times i got ignored
and i didnt know what to do

but now im at the point
i know you werent worth the pain
i got out of the void
and finally found a better way


dont be disappointed 
you wanted it that way
you had another boyfriend
you made me go insane
was it fun to break my heart?
to see me fall apart?

MUSIC VIDEO

you wanted it that way (iof)

i'm always outside in the cold
i don't wanna live this way
it's not enough when i do the most
it's so hard to breathe this way

spending all off my dough i grinded for to mix up my drink
i'm a better hustler if i do the work and i don't think
if you're tryna waste my time then idgaf bout ur kinks
the proximity has faded away with all of my old links

I'm afraid for my liver, this shit could kill me if i don't pay attention
She got a boyfriend but when i look her in the eyes she can feel all the tension
Why do i think they like me, everybody disappears i should learn the lesson yes
Avoid me like a menace yeah


life got no meaning
It's fucking with my feelings
I hate my inner demons
But i do this for a reason

Fear's blockin you but fear is my fuel
They're doubtin me but i know what i do 

Doubt me, fuck this, fuck all of you
All the racism fucked with my youth
So much blood i tried killing myself
But none of this can fix my mood

You doubted, it worked, it's thanks to me
I know i'm lucky but i put in the work
Why do i do all of this to myself
I should stop eating i wanna throw up all the food

fucking terrified i feel like they could end my life
i feel like a slave in a golden cell
i know they don't really wish me well
they could do what the fuck they want
shh i can't fucking talk
you ask what the fuck i mean
then i will have to shut the fuck up

I can't rest here in my bed
It's been fucking with my head
Sometimes i would love to rest
But slowing down means my death

I can't rest here in my bed
It's been fucking with my head
Sometimes i would love to rest
But slowing down means my death

SLOWING DOWN MEANS MY DEATH [PROD. INTOTHEPARADOX]

regardless of what happens, my mind just seem to end up back in this cycle..
-+- mix & master, lyrics by me
prod. stillvanishing -+-
(lyrics)
take me away from here
this is my biggest fear,
know that all of this shit hurts me
you wont ever hear, stuck here in my thoughts
i am not what you wanted
i know you say youre fine
im trying to be fine,
know that im only hurting
need you as all mine
repeating the same songs 
that ive always made for you

you say you wouldnt leave
i guess i will only see
youre taking control of me
without you i just cant breathe
all in this damaged place
think im describing my brain
know that i wont ever live,
ill never see the day without you

cutting all my veins,
laying in my grave
without you

broken cycle (stillvanishing)

@evertheghost

(nevrwrld)
Don’t try and captivate my soul 
Don’t wanna fight
Please take it slow 

To late gotta keep it low 
To late gotta keep it low 

I ain’t messing the problems in my head 
Take my breath and punch me in the chest 

Pull my tongue and rip it out my head 
Take my heart rip it in a half 

You try to invite him over 
Got 3 screenshots from last October 
Don’t lie to my face 

you know you ain’t right
You know you ain’t right

I exercise my full right 
To keep on dying inside 

Please take your stupid thoughts
And shove them right up your ass 

Your always so full of shit 
I tried my best to make things right 

You fill my head with harmful thoughts 
And act so innocent in the dark 

I’m so tired of falling 
I’m so damn exhausted 

I cry so damn often 
My life keeps on falling 

(Ever The Ghost)
no peace
no remorse
only a flame to devour a forest
no remnants of life
captivate me on a fast decline
opening portals
unlocking powers
restless souls
all figure out after hours
lost and searching for my soul as it roams
got me backed in a corner
I just want to be alone

(nevrwrld)
Don’t try and captivate my soul 
Don’t wanna fight
Please take it slow 

To late gotta keep it low 
To late gotta keep it low 

I ain’t messing the problems in my head 
Take my breath and punch me in the chest 

Pull my tongue and rip it out my head 
Take my heart rip it in a half

Captivate [+ sogimura]

lyrics:

For demons before me, you had me so blinding
I know what’s beside me, the moments are timing
My suffering’s gloaming, the pressure is homing
The rain is now pouring, i know where this is going

Take it slowly, drugs don’t hold me
Life is broken, i don’t love this
This is hopeless, why am i standing
Let me fall, yeah i want this
Gotta take my life, gotta take it now
I don’t wanna live, when the weight is high
Suffering deep, with the ocean tides
Closing walls, from the varied sides
I don’t wanna wake up, from a daydream
Let my nightmares, come and take me
Break me apart, see what’s in me
If you let go, i won’t feel safe
Don’t come near me, never love me
Love is breaking, my soul is shaking
Life is hazy, just cut me so deep
Come see me bleed, it’s what you need

For demons before me, you had me so blinding
I know what’s beside me, the moments are timing
My suffering’s gloaming, the pressure is homing
The rain is now pouring, i know where this is going

Anti-Love

i know where this is going. [xmichaelwarren]

[conituation of the song: "you were all in my head"]

lyrics:
Story of my life
And now you’re in my head
I know you play pretend
It’s funny that you lie

Don’t try and run away
You had me like a gun
Spider from a web
You tangle me with lies

Russian roulette, with my mind and soul
Never letting go, i’m feeling cold
Without a heart, i cannot move on
And with a thorn, picking on my side
Throw me off course, like a glider
I don’t wanna live beside her
Rip me apart like paper
Long as i never see her

Story of my life
And now you’re in my head
I know you play pretend
It’s funny that you lie

Don’t try and run away
You had me like a gun
Spider from a web
You tangle me with lies

Devil in details, paved in gold
Long lost story never told
You were never that much bold
With that much more you’re so cold
Melodrama in the heart
Longing for a restart
Just to rip me apart
Over nothing as its part

Story of my life
And now you’re in my head
I know you play pretend
It’s funny that you lie

Don’t try and run away
You had me like a gun
Spider from a web
You tangle me with lies

Objects in the Mirror, Are Closer Than They Appear

spider. [+ guda x happytears]

seen

nebijok (xoolice)

I Can’t

🌙 produced for wstdyth, seejayxo, 
Kenny Orlando, emptychest & astral
🌙 member of ⏳@timeless-archive & 👻@ghxstcollective

*SINCE AUGUST 2021*

🥀 i quit university and left my hometown to have every chance to get to my goals

⛓️ from depressed and suicidal in a small town 
⛓️ to fighting for my survival in a bad place.

for collabs > noxiousnights#6098

contact / send beats to : noxiousnights.music@gmail.com

SLOWING DOWN MEANS MY DEATH [PROD. INTOTHEPARADOX]

noxiousnights🌙