BREAKING:  RPG SUFFER EXISTENTIAL CRISIS AFTER REALITY BECOMES IMPOSSIBLE TO SATIRISE...

Usually, the release of a brand-new album by the world's worst band finds them chipper. The prospects of foisting murder songs, dark characters and mildly humorous antiestablishmentarism unwittingly upon the world seem to provide a certain lift to the band members - and yet, in the cornered-off section of a 7-11 carpark on the outskirts of Hornsby, the mood is quite glum.

	"When we started writing this one, we were pretty pissed off at everything and figured we'd write some punk rock shit that pushed the raft out from where our heads were versus where the world currently was." ruminates band frontman Nick. "And you know, that might end up being funny." 

	"But ho nooooooo" adds Phil (frontman). "The world was already a bin fire, and now it's like... That bin fire found another bin inside itself... And then the bin said, 'Oh hey look, there's been another bin inside of me all along!!! Imma set fire to it!!!!' and then it... The bin -the outside bin-  it set fire to the... To the inside bin and somehow-  There's two... LOOK ALL THE BINS ARE ON FUCKING FIRE!!!" 
	"... That's right, buddy. And so our songs - they just aren't funny anymore; they're factual," adds Nick, consoling an observably agitated Phil and steering him gently away from the 7-11 Skip Bin nearby and carefully grabbing the Bic lighter (Apparently, the answer from corporate was that the band members could only allude to lighting the skip bin as part of their publicity stunt) 

Arguably, the entire catalogue of 'RPG has always been about things that aren't funny, and thus, the opportunity for producing mirth - or wit -has always been of low yield. Nevertheless, their latest album, 'The New Normal', is now unceremoniously available, sporting nine hit singles that may or may not make your day slightly worse depending on how bad things are in your 24-hour news cycle. 

Their slurpees finished, the teenagers who had congregated momentarily at the release party to see why a bunch of "NPCs" were standing near a skip bin skive off on their e-scooters, disappointed that nothing was set alight. With both band members adequately restrained, the proceedings wind down, and this reviewer does not predict that the music industry will "flame on" to this latest album release either.

"Well, hey, at least we're prolific!" interjects Nick.  
"Yeah, we can hear you, prick" growls Phil.
"We've released at least one album every year for the last seven years."
"Sometimes more. And the rest of those years, album after album."

Both band members are glaring at me as I annotate these paragraphs for my article, the atmosphere becomes quite tense. I consider countering something snarky like "Quantity, not quality boys." or "Yes, but must you?" - but before I can retort, the continuously missing front man, Pedro Joseph Alberto chimes over Nick's speaker phone:  

"Hi, you've reached Peter, I'm not available to take your call". 

This seems to send the world's worst band members into peels of laughter - and with them distracted, I climb into my waiting Uber and headback towards my normal life. 

Osher Ginsberg 
ABC News
 

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Breaking News: NRC3DRPG Release Album to raise money to support fan

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Proudly holding the honour of being the world's worst band since 1993, NRC3DRPG is not for the gentile sensitive and politically correct ear. Our dark catalogue of HIT SINGLES are the blackest of black comedy and are mostly focused on songs about murders - which may (or may not) have been conducted by the three fictional band members: Drummer Boy, Fishmaster & Pedro Joseph Alberto. It's all supposed to be a bit of a laugh but do yourself a favour and click away as we're truly awful. You have been warned. If you're still here after that disclaimer, then we hope you enjoy the tasteless silliness of how utterly shit yet catchy music can be. We ad-lib most of the lyrics for our songs. Most of songs are one takes of everything. And then we say "ah fuck it that will do." Despite all of that, there's a few ear worms in there so be warned. We don't want you going around and singing that shit - you might get arrested. And we certainly don't owe you any favours for staying here and clicking play, so um...  why don't you fuck off now thanks.

love NRC3DRPG. The World's #1 Worst Band.

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