TEARS OF A PIERROT

orintyrwex

Inpulse

Matic Soundtrack

Lyrics:

i met you one Halloween
you were wearing jeans 
and a purple wig 

after that night i’ve been
haunted my whole life
don’t know where to begin

when i hugged you 
it never felt warm
it just felt like thorns
puncturing my skin 

when i loved you 
i was fading 
when i loved you 
always fading 

when i loved you 
i was fading 
when i loved you 
always fading  

we smoked for breakfast
and for lunch
and i had a hunch
but toned it down 

in fact, i toned down
many things for you 

when i loved you 
i was fading 
when i loved you 
always fading

when i loved you 
i was fading 
when i loved you 
always fading

you were there
all the time 
like a shadow
i couldn’t outrun 

lurking over my shoulder
manipulating my brain
saying you want what’s best for me 

but If you wanted what’s best
why’d you keep me in chains?

If you wanted what’s best
why’d you keep me in chains?

when i loved you 
i was fading 
when i loved you 
always fading

when i loved you 
i was fading 
when i loved you 
always fading

when i loved you 
i was fading 
when i loved you 
always fading

when i loved you 
i was fading 
when i loved you 
always fading

f a d i n g (Demo)

Lyrics: 

i try to get a hold of myself
but i slip away

i get a buzz trynna 
mute the voices in my head

that tell me i will stay stuck
in one place

but i was born to groove
why am I so scared?

I’m scared i
will grow old
with nothing to show
I’m scared i will grow old
with nothing to show

oh oh, but i won't stop now
oh oh, nah i won't stop now
oh oh, but i won't stop now

sometimes it gets crowded in my head (crowded crowded crowded)
then it gets polluted in my lungs (just one more)

i feel this pressure like i’m supposed to be
like all my friends

but i just want to be me
i just want to be me 

am i a failure?
just waiting around 
for things to happen to me? 
just waiting around 

oh oh, but i won't stop now
oh oh, nah i won't stop now
oh oh, but i won't stop now

am i a fool? (crowded crowded crowded)
thinking i can beat all the odds? (just one more)

or is the magic i’m looking for 
behind all the work i’ve done?

am i a fool? (crowded crowded crowded)
still thinking i can beat all the odds? (just one more)

or is the magic i’m looking for (but i won't stop now)
behind all the work i’ve done? (nah i won't stop now) 

oh oh, but i won't stop now
oh oh, nah i won't stop now
oh oh, but i won't stop now

(just one more)

BUZZ (Demo)

Psalm 51 in Hebrew 
Today is the Jewish Judgement Day Feast 
I think its good prayer for today

Translation in English: 
Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest. Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. 13Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee. Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness. O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise. For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem. Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.

חָנֵּנִי אֱלֹהִים כְּחַסְדֶּךָ; כְּרֹב רַחֲמֶיךָ, מְחֵה פְשָׁעָי.
הַרְבֵּה הֶרֶב, כַּבְּסֵנִי מֵעֲוֹנִי; וּמֵחַטָּאתִי טַהֲרֵנִי.
כִּי־פְשָׁעַי אֲנִי אֵדָע; וְחַטָּאתִי נֶגְדִּי תָּמִיד.
לְךָ לְבַדְּךָ חָטָאתִי, וְהָרַע בְּעֵינֶיךָ עָשִׂיתִי;
לְמַעַן תִּצְדַּק בְּדִבְרֶךָ, וְתִזְכֶּה בְשַׁפְטֶךָ.
הֵן־בְּעָוֹן חוֹלָלְתִּי, וּבְחֵטְא יֶחֱמַתְנִי אִמִּי.
הֵן־אֱמֶת חָפַצְתָּ בַטֻּחוֹת, וּבְסָתֻם חָכְמָה תוֹדִיעֵנִי.
תְּחַטְּאֵנִי בְאֵזוֹב וְאֶטְהָר; תְּכַבְּסֵנִי וּמִשֶּׁלֶג אַלְבִּין.
תַּשְׁמִיעֵנִי שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה; תָּגֵלְנָה עֲצָמוֹת דִּכִּיתָ.
הַסְתֵּר פָּנֶיךָ מֵחֲטָאָי; וְכָל־עֲוֺנֹתַי מְחֵה.
לֵב טָהוֹר בְּרָא־לִי אֱלֹהִים; וְרוּחַ נָכוֹן חַדֵּשׁ בְּקִרְבִּי.
אַל־תַּשְׁלִיכֵנִי מִלְּפָנֶיךָ; וְרוּחַ קָדְשְׁךָ, אַל־תִּקַּח מִמֶּנִּי.
הַשִּׁיבָה לִי שְׂשׂוֹן יִשְׁעֶךָ; וְרוּחַ נְדִיבָה תִּסְמְכֵנִי.
אֲלַמְּדָה פֹשְׁעִים דְּרָכֶיךָ; וְחַטָּאִים אֵלֶיךָ יָשׁוּבוּ.
הַצִּילֵנִי מִדָּמִים אֱלֹהִים — אֱלֹהֵי תְּשׁוּעָתִי; תְּרַנֵּן לְשׁוֹנִי צִדְקָתֶךָ.
אֲדֹנָי שְׂפָתַי תִּפְתָּח; וּפִי יַגִּיד תְּהִלָּתֶךָ.
כִּי־לֹא־תַחְפֹּץ זֶבַח וְאֶתֵּנָה; עוֹלָה לֹא תִרְצֶה.
זִבְחֵי אֱלֹהִים רוּחַ נִשְׁבָּרָה; לֵב־נִשְׁבָּר וְנִדְכֶּה — אֱלֹהִים לֹא תִבְזֶה.
הֵיטִיבָה בִּרְצוֹנְךָ אֶת־צִיּוֹן; תִּבְנֶה חוֹמוֹת יְרוּשָׁלָ‍ִם.
אָ֤ז תַּחְפֹּץ זִבְחֵי־צֶדֶק עוֹלָה וְכָלִיל; אָ֤ז יַעֲלוּ עַל־מִזְבַּחֲךָ פָּרִים.

Psalm 51 Hebrew 2

Mersey Beatdown

Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OQzG_rwPpA

Child of Nature

Elfin Delfin´s Wonderland

Elfin Delfin´s Wonderland & Video Link

Roomsday Techno

Lyrics: 

you took away 
all the things 
that made me happy 

was your goal 
all along 
to make me disappear? 

one by one
you tumbled down
pieces of me
until there was nothing left

how could you deprive me 
of my freedom
and call it love? 

how were you able to break me
and make me go above
and beyond 

how could you deprive me 
of my freedom
and make me go nuts
and call it love?

you never gave
importance to my pain
(so don't call it love)

but if i didn’t care for you
the way you forced me to 
you’d lose your shit 

little by little
you manipulated me 

crying when i’d leave 
until i wouldn’t leave you no more 
(no more no more)

even if it meant
isolating me from my friends 
(where have you been girl?)

it didn't matter no
i never mattered no (no) 

how could you deprive me 
of my freedom
and call it love? 

how were you able to break me
and make me go above
and beyond 

how could you deprive me 
of my freedom
and make me go nuts
and call it love?

how can two people 
in the same relationship
experience very different things?
‘cause you were happy and satisfied
oh i wonder why 
oh i wonder why 

i don’t ever want to 
cover my mouth to cry
while you are sound asleep 
it wasnt fair to me 
and maybe it wasn’t fair to you
that i hid my feelings 
but i knew if i didn’t 
you’d never show up for me 

and my needs would’ve been ignored 
‘cause that is what you do 
tell me who took care of me
while i was taking care of you?  

how could you deprive me 
of my freedom
and call it love? 

how were you able to break me
and make me go above
and beyond 

how could you deprive me 
of my freedom
and make me go nuts
and call it love?

don't call it love

CONTROL (Demo)

Rocktober Day/Track 7

#edit: adjusted the bell melody that cut through my brains, it's more gentle now

07 Spirit Reflections

Lyrics:

i'm turning off 
the stage lights
i'm closing up
the curtains 

the show 
is over 
im ready 
to tell the truth 

truth is, truth is
i lied, i lied
i hid my feelings 
just to survive
tonight, tonight
i'm undressing myself
i'm ready to display my bruises 
my bruises

i'm supposed to be
the funny one 
I'm always there
to make 'em laugh
but tell me who is there 
when i cry at night? 
who is there
when i cry at night? 

i'm taking off my costume 
its over-used 
threads are sticking out 
frays are loose 

everyone must be 
so confused
like how can a girl so colorful 
feel so blue 

but has anyone ever wondered
why is that? 
why is that?
why is that?
does anyone see who i am
beyond this mask? 

i'm supposed to be
the funny one 
I'm always there
to make 'em laugh
but tell me who is there 
when i cry at night? 
who is there
when i cry at night? 

i am done 
hiding 
my terrors

these are 
the tears of 
a pierrot 

i am done 
hiding 
my terrors

these are 
the tears of 
a pierrot 

who is there
when i cry at night?

TEARS OF A PIERROT (Demo)

Cosmic Birds

guilohn_02

Lyrics:

i painted a happy face for you  
hid my tears on a loop 
put on a show, my debut

Constant jokes, aerial hoops
 i did it all for you
did it all for you 

you pulled my strings,
 i hung by a thread
 stretched me so far
 i forgot who i am.

i think i’m possessed now 
 a somnambulist doll now
you wanna see my head spin? 
i can turn it all the way around

reduced me to your pocket, 
used me like a puppet
 i could be nice, but fuck it
 i’m your diabolical ex 

i think i’m possessed now 
 a somnambulist doll now
you wanna see my head spin? 
i can turn it all the way around

reduced me to your pocket, 
used me like a puppet
 i could be nice, but fuck it
 i’m your diabolical ex 

do you want me to spell it out for you?
 h-e-x, i’ll hex you 
‘til you ooze

pour out of me like booze,
i got no better use
either way i lose

i think i’m possessed now 
 a somnambulist doll now
you wanna see my head spin? 
i can turn it all the way around

reduced me to your pocket, 
used me like a puppet
 i could be nice, but fuck it
 i’m your diabolical ex 

i think i’m possessed now 
 a somnambulist doll now
you wanna see my head spin? 
i can turn it all the way around

reduced me to your pocket, 
used me like a puppet
 i could be nice, but fuck it
 i’m your diabolical ex 

i fear no god
i'm possessed
don't you like me now
that you can't use me 
as your marionette?

MARIONETTE (Demo)

every villain has an origin story 💜 🐙

f a d i n g (Demo)

ØCTØBER

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