idk why but i was thinking of this song earlier and it took me 3 hours to find it lol

music 3

i'm really trying not to quit

i'm really trying not to quit (MUSIC VID OUT NOW)

ty for listening <3
prod. i'm geist x deadfish x hiraeth
mixed/mastered by deadfish

@imgeist
@hiraethsry
@imnotenvy
@yokaidreams
@sleepywater
@deadfishpoland

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/2MEwCgdk51OeRKs5vdbJZJ 
also up on itunes and apple music!

// lyrics
// imgeist
oh, hold on wait, tell me did i let you down
can i breathe a little swear that i won’t make a sound
and everybody’s out for blood that’s why i hate this town
and everybody’s out for me that’s why i’ll go ghost now

oh, hold on wait, tell me I’m the monster now
when you’re the one who went and filled my head with doubt
i gave up everything just to be the one left out
i tossed you my heart, you stomped it on the ground

// hiraeth
put your hands all on my body now i'm leaving
i don’t wanna hurt you bitch, i'm falling for a reason
give another reason, leave without a meaning
tell me that you love me, tell me that you miss him

i could run away and still nobody wanna know now
funny i meant everything until he wanna come round
leave it at the door and get your shit just on the way out
text him that you want him cause he knows you're on the way now

// notenvy
and i cant even look at myself dont feel the same i'm
trapped inside my own little hell you pin the blame you
took my heart it snapped and i fell you'll never say why
i've been steady feeling unwell what has this come to?
and i've been dying tryna get you outta my head
and i keep fucking crying over things you said
dont tell me that we'll ever have a chance again
cause i can't deal with trauma take my life instead

// imgeist
oh, hold on wait, tell me did i let you down
can i breathe a little swear that i won’t make a sound
and everybody’s out for blood that’s why i hate this town
and everybody’s out for me that’s why i’ll go ghost now !!!!!!!!

oh, hold on wait, tell me I’m the monster now???!
when you’re the one who went and filled my head with doubt???!
i gave up everything just to be the one left out???!
i tossed you my heart, you stomped it on the ground

// yokai dreams
you always jumped at a chance to slice up my ego
power your libido
take your time, suck the life out of everywhere that we go
emotional mosquito
she's undead never had a care
for the affairs of the living
take your heart and she grinning
as the clock strikes 10
honest men will head to bed
but she just started causing pain by the minute

// sleepwater
torment anxiety
what is inside of me
i'm broken, i'm destined to die
a loner, a puppet in disguise
soil is dirty, i'm drowning reserve me
i need you don't burn me, i'm liquid lurking

// deadfish
and i've tried to move on
yea i’ve tried to forget
but you just
seem to never wanna leave my head
so
i can never fucking see you again
you know that
i really need it to feel again

stop fucking calling and wasting my time
said that you’ll fix that, we know thats a lie
now that i’m gone you regret what you've done
when you are crying i’ll hide in my home

could you stop fucking up my entire life
telling everyone that i was just another guy
never said what you did, i’d never tell a soul
cause i'm better than this and i'm better than u

Spotify

out for blood! w/ hiraeth, notenvy, yokai dreams, sleepwater, deadfish

Produced by Cian
Engineered by @marcdoesmusic
link to all platforms: https://ffm.to/donthold

Lyrics:
(Cian)
(And we're running out of time to make this right,
I was hoping that we'd turn out just fine,
But I know that it's my fault every time, yeah)

Don't hold it against me when I say I'm empty
I just wanna hold you through the night
Every time you let go
I just wanna get close
I was hoping we'd be alright
And I said I'm fine but I know I never will be
Wish I could pretend we were living in a movie
Don't hold it against me
Don't hold it against me
Every time you leave I just feel so empty
Don't hold it against me

And you said it again
I think that you were right, yeah we were better as friends
Every time you storm out I try to pretend
That everything around me isn't crumbling again
Now I'm crying alone in my bedroom
And I wanna be lying beside you
But the only one lying here was you (you)
And I'm running out of time to make this right
I was hoping that we'd turn out just fine
But I know it's my fault every time (yeah)

Don't hold it against me when I say I'm empty
I just wanna hold you through the night
Every time you let go
I just wanna get close
I was hoping we'd be alright
And I said I'm fine but I know I never will be
Wish I could pretend we were living in a movie
Don't hold it against me
Don't hold it against me
Every time you leave I just feel so empty
Don't hold it against me 

©2022 TMM Entertainment

don't hold it against me (prod. cian)

<3
released via: https://soundcloud.com/universalchill

featured artist: https://soundcloud.com/hiraethsry

socials:
https://www.instagram.com/deadfishig/

discord.gg/hsUwdAJknJ

lyrics:

There is something that’s inside of me
Screaming at me, tryna go to sleep
Dancing demons under eyelids
Can’t be rational when I’ve been

Awake for a couple of days
You don’t understand my struggles
Don’t pretend that you’re me
You’ve been buying a new necklace
When there’s a noose on my neck
Writing down all of my problems
Like they will go away

There is lots that I’m not proud of
I admit that I have messed up
Something’s causing all this pain
Must’ve slipped up in the past

Please don’t try to cheer me up
Don’t lie to me, I hate that
I’m aware of all my faults
And I’m trying to fix that

And I can’t stop it
Pills been pretty numbing
Been out of my mind
Excuse all my shortcomings

I swear to god it
Ruins all my friendships
I have tried everything now
Somehow I fuck it up, wow

They told me that I’ll end up insane
I think that
To say that it’s a little too late
And I just
Can’t bear the thought of not seeing the day
Where I will feel okay
Buried 6 feet with the pain

I don’t wanna lose you again
I been alone in my bed
Ive had a few dreams about you
But theyre all in my head

Scratching marks on my chest
Engrave ur name in my flesh 
So I can’t forget if I tried to
Ur gonna leave me for dead

I keep fucking up the timing 
U don’t wanna listen
U got feelings of denial
Another pot to piss in
feel like I should start to fight more
I don’t need to be religious baby
U know what I stand for
Ashes burn my eyes sore

anxious I can’t breathe
Im getting nauseous turn the lights out
Please don’t ever speak to me
Don’t act like got time now
Im fighting with myself
Im out of luck is this my karma
I can barely talk im scared of speaking when i call her

6 feet with the pain

6 feet with the pain (feat. hiraeth)

serotonin

lyric video/visual on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7j4op3bYEM&ab_channel=ghosthands

SPOTIFY + APPLE

backseat

【﻿ｂｕｃｋｌｅ　ｄｏｗｎ；ｓｅｖｅｒ　ｅｎｄｓ】

s/o @plslovejai for getting on this w me <3 ly man
prod by @blvnkface 🖤
released w/ @bitekivibes 🧡
cover art drawn by @HoneyDMilkTeax on twitter 

thank you for listening. 
the immensity of how much this means to me, is beyond even myself.
thank you.
x

[autumn]
(never) 
(save my breath before your's)

i hate the sound of my name
i hear that shit way too much
i contemplate, then i drink
and now i live in the mud
what a gruesome fate
what a hideous face you've got there
i say with shattered thumbs
if the cat got my tongue, i teach the cat to become me
quit calling my bluff
i'm only playing the dummy
mask is fading slowly
at the end of the day, i'm forever roaming
so where do i begin?
i never thought i'd grow so sick
it's hard to catch the words that drip and 
melt from right under my skin

never 
save my breath before your's
(don't say you'll save my breath)
(i'm not that much better than the rest)

lose yourself on purpose to gain a scar
drawn one step closer, just to fall apart
i've grown so accustomed to habits
at this point, they're all i have left
(it's all for you) (3x)
when'd it get so difficult to 
get a grip on my own head

[jai]
maybe my tongue's tied
i can't live in the moment
and i got a heart full of gold
but it's only me who can own it
so i'd rather die alone
than be the hamster stuck on your wheel
it's just myself these days
don't care enough to gain your appeal
and i'm tired
of never being what you think
usually i always try again
but this time ima quit
i watch the sky turn to grey
i miss the touch of her lips
there's nothing else i can say
i'm watching happiness slip away

it wasn't part of the plan
ooo
i can tell you my story, but there's two sides to every one
i dont know if this is for me
take a step before i run
on the edge, i'm boutta free fall
i hit you when i'm done

[autumn]
never 
save my breath before your's
(don't say you'll save my breath)
(i'm not that much better than the rest)

i can't remember the last time i ain't feel distressed
buckle down, it's my time to sever ends
who said it'd be okay to visit up ahead
just to meet myself
at mirror's edge

severed ends w/ love jai [prod. blvnkface x slayingibis]

@prod-oc

i don’t want to feel, want to vibe
take a deep breath, close my eyes
waiting for the pain to subside
these feelings will be gone when i die, right?

these feelings will be gone when i die, right?
right right right
these feelings will be gone when i die, right?
right
these feelings will be gone when i die, right?
right right right right right right right right

my hearts in the garbage
told you if u wanted u could have it
and i’m starting to salvage
those words that you said are haunting again
hearts in the garbage
told you if u wanted u could have it
and i’m starting to salvage
these thoughts on my mind they’re wanting me dead

and it’s too bright
i’m dying underneath the spotlight
but you say it’s alright
you take your time and move so slow
everyone has gotten cold
i’m losing time, i’m losing sight
these feelings will be gone when i die, right?

these feelings will be gone when i die, right?
right right right
these feelings will be gone when i die, right?
right
these feelings will be gone when i die, right?
right right right right right right right right

my hearts in the garbage
told you if u wanted u could have it
and i’m starting to salvage
those words that you said are haunting again
hearts in the garbage
told you if u wanted u could have it
and i’m starting to salvage
these thoughts on my mind they’re wanting me dead

they’re wanting me dead
it’s not all my head
couldn’t escape my nightmare

COULDN'T ESCAPE MY NIGHTMARE OH
these feelings will be gone when i die, right?

these feelings will be gone when i die, right?
right right right
these feelings will be gone when i die, right?
right
these feelings will be gone when i die, right?
right right right right right right right right

NIGHTMARE

spotify

NIGHTMARE [oc]

This time I'm standing all alone

@sleyeofficial
@nversad
recorded/mixed by @heartbox_prod
Lyrics:

She said
“I thought this is what you wanted
You’re the one that called it
off, ya couldn’t solve it
now you’re tossin coins down into my coffin
we’re praying that we die before we resolve this”

Well I can’t make up my mind so instead ill prolong this
I been lost in my thoughts i got stuck on the process
Of leaving this place now i’m hung up on losses
and drawbacks that i never thought about when i dropped it

cause i was obsessive and you were never attentive
and then i’d gather all my thoughts and i’d try to present em
and now we’re lookin so desperate, and you’d be missing the message
and there’s no longer an incentive to repair our dilemma 

okay

so if you wana call or something
ill tell you how its gotta be or there’s nothin
left for us here, 
i don’t wana spend a year again now
we’ve done this
and im sick of fuckin feeling redundant

Sleye:

yeah i'm sick of always changing the subject
got me running in a circle like i'm not even worth it
i don't know why you'd ever think you're above me 
no way
i'ma have to go i couldn't deal with your fuckshit

and still i think of everything you said 
it helped me to find 
that it was easy just to leave
and then i made up my mind
i got a reason not to put up a fight
cause every line you ever wrote was only empty inside

could do without you in a second for the last time
the way i left it like i hung up never said bye
and i was kinda scared just like a deer in front the headlights
say you never thought about me? yeah well that's a big lie

i spent the last month wondering
if it would ever be the same as it was then
i got a dark cloud over me
and now I'm standing in the rain with my clothes wet

standingintherainwithmyclotheswet  w/ Sleye (prod. NverSad)

Thank you for listening.


Produced by Odece : https://soundcloud.com/odece
Cover art by Ethan Grassel : https://twitter.com/EthanGrassel

Special thanks to TheBreathingBackwards || GoodByeWilson 
https://twitter.com/breathingback
https://twitter.com/goodbyewilson

Nobody [Prod. Odece]

in the back of a cab i don't wanna go
to a bar with a crowd where i feel alone
you can tell me to try but i won't
try to fit in - i just don't
some days, some nights i still feel alright
but it's been a minute
i can't get that weight off of my mind
and you wonder why i try to be something else
my friends are doing well
but i'm in a handbasket going straight to hell
as soon as i arrive wanna leave straight away
all these strobe lights they just fuck with my brain
am i the only person who's not on cocaine
i just wanna make songs with friends in the basement
in the back of a cab i don't wanna go
to a bar full of people that i don't know
i'm with my team but i'm still alone
try to fit in; i just don't
so get me out alive.

social anxiety club dancefloor [prod. droozy]

@sewerperson
prod by @heykaaj + Sharkboi
cover art by @madeillegal
<3
[other platforms link]
https://ditto.fm/love-me-back-lil-hermit-featuring-sewerperson

twitter.com/lilhermitxo
www.instagram.com/lilhermitxo
open.spotify.com/artist/1uh7rgM3mH36ugBw8Q7jmL

Lyrics:

[hook]
i love you
is something wrong with that
i trust you
i always got your back
i want you
but i’m under attack
i love you
but you don’t love me back
-
i wish you’d open up like a program on my desktop
it’s cluttered like my head i wish it’d clear up but it won’t stop
i know love is a big word and with passion it can mean a lot
but my hearts on my sleeve so please don’t break it girl i hope not
you’re playin like it’s xbox, i’m finna rage and start up A
why do you want me to play, you should know i’m good at video games
what is that expression on your face, it’s a special case
i can’t tell girl if you love me if you don’t i’ma go crazy

i’ll block your words like meliodas i’ll deflect it
gotta broken sword tied to my heart and that’s my only weapon
doing anything outside is really really fucking hectic
hermits stay inside up anyway so i can’t fucking stress it 
-
(Sewerperson)
baby i love you but you dont love me back
rollin up this cheese i smoke too much i clutch my cardiac
baby i trust you
so tell me why u dont trust me back
shes in a bad mood
i can tell shes pullin back
red lights
up in her room on most nights
on cold nights
i still wish you could hold me tight
sippin this drink im feelin nice
red flags
bad signs
she just love the spotlight
baby i thought i was more than just a joy ride

black lung
ciggarete buts
scattered on the bedside
think they put some yellow in my red eyes
baby it hurts when i breath
i miss you here next to me
baby i love you but you act like something wrong with me

-

i really hope you guys love this as much as i do <3
huge thank you to miles for working with me :)

LOVE ME BACK (feat. Sewerperson)

Other Platforms <3

LOVE ME BACK (feat. Sewerperson) (prod. KAAJ + Sharkboi)

when you speak my heart begins to sink
i know you need some space and time to think
yea i respect that, but

i don't wanna wait for you to bail and let me down
i don't gotta wait for you to figure your sh!t out
i don't gotta wait around for nothing, no one, nobody but me
cus i got my dynasty to keep
yeah i got a legacy to leave

so get rekt

there's only so much time for you and i
no one's getting any younger
such a superficial state of mind
cus i could die tonight

or one of us could be hit by a bus or a truck
simply struck by plain bad luck, god forbid
it's morbid, sordid, fascinating
fragile bodies overrated
when i had that aneurysm
it left no room for pessimism
it's time to play or fuck the system
cus i could fuck anyone else

get rekt [prod. sorrowbringer]

enough (prod. flood & elxnce)

co-codependency
you take the best of me
i'm so hung up on u..

co-codependency
you took the best of me
i'm so hung up on you
always scared that we be falling thru
can you be alone for five more minutes before blowin up my phone?

so it's an issue of trust
everybody's drunk with lust
we all want security
but cheat with impunity
is my commute to work now subject to scrutiny?
goddamn better stage a mutiny

so don't get me wrong, i wanna be with u
'yeah, right' then all hell breaks loose

can you be alone for five more minutes before blowin up my phone?
cus i'm fraying and stressing and twisting my stomach in knots

[produced by yung spoiler]
[art by onlyfriend]

coco dependency [prod. yungspoiler]

@notlieu
produced by @threedimensionsapart

coco dependency [prod. yungspoiler]

onlyfriend

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