Name: Tired of Turtling (Folk) by Phrases and Phases Publishing
Duration: 3 min 32 s
Description: A (metaphorical) turtle learns to stop living in fear and accept his limitations while moving forward.

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A (metaphorical) turtle learns to stop living in fear and accept his limitations while moving forward.

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Tired of Turtling (Folk)

A loud, sarcastic takedown of modern dating cowardice.

This isn’t a breakup song — it’s a comedy rant with distortion pedals.
Nobody owes anyone romance, but disappearing without a word? Say it with your chest.

Written as satire, performed with punk energy, and fueled entirely by disdain.

If you’ve ever been left on read after making plans — or if you are that person — this one’s for you.

🎸 Comedy Rock / Punk
⚠️ Explicit language, deliberate confrontation

Ghosting is for Pussies

Lyrics/License

Ghosting is for Pussies (Comedy Rock)

A classic barbershop quartet arrangement with tight harmony and straight-faced delivery. Old-school vocal craftsmanship meets modern subject matter — the contrast does the work.

Commando Patrol

Commando Patrol (Barbershop Quartet)

A spoken-word jazz version with upright bass, brushed drums, and a late-night club atmosphere. Dry, observational delivery — part beat poetry, part deadpan confession.

Commando Patrol (Spoken Word Jazz)

A classic disco-inspired arrangement with a four-on-the-floor beat, glossy groove, and confident vocal. Celebratory and physical, with humor embedded in the strut.

Commando Patrol (Disco)

A funk-rock take on Commando Patrol — all groove, attitude, and zero shame.
Crunchy guitar, elastic bass, and a strutting rhythm section turn bodily freedom into a swaggering anthem. It’s playful, irreverent, and proudly unbuttoned, with just enough bite to keep it from becoming novelty.

This version leans into funk’s physicality and rock’s confidence: less joke, more strut.

Commando Patrol (Funk Rock)

A playful ska take on bodily autonomy and quiet rebellion. Bouncy off-beat guitar, walking bass, and bright rhythm carry a tongue-in-cheek manifesto about ditching pointless conventions and letting things breathe. Light on its feet, sharp in the lyrics, and confident without trying to convince anyone — just a groove, a grin, and a breeze.

Commando Patrol (Ska) v2

A sparse, fingerpicked singer-songwriter take on Too Damn Loud.

This version strips the song down to acoustic guitar and voice, letting the humor emerge quietly through contrast and escalation rather than punchlines. What starts as a familiar complaint about modern noise gradually reveals itself as an unreliable nostalgia—one that remembers comfort, but forgets context.

Dry, observational, and intentionally restrained, this recording leans into classic folk and singer-songwriter traditions where satire lives inside sincerity. If you’ve ever nodded along to a complaint before realizing you shouldn’t have, this one’s for you.

Too Damn Loud (Singer-Songwriter)

You Gotta Tug (Stomp Rock) is a raw, percussive work-song built on grit, repetition, and refusal of shortcuts. Heavy drums, hand-claps, and a driving rhythm carry lyrics about effort, cost, and the friction required to earn anything real.

This version leans into physical momentum. It’s chant-forward, grounded, and insistent rather than flashy. The song treats struggle as a fact, not a metaphor, and leans on repetition the way labor does — not to decorate the message, but to prove it.

Made as part of a series of stylistic interpretations, this take emphasizes force, endurance, and collective push over polish.

No gloss. No tricks.
You can pull it off — but you gotta tug.

You Gotta Tug (Stomp Rock)

Middle Classy (Jazz Rap) is a laid-back, lyric-forward take on comfort, constraint, and quiet maintenance. Over a relaxed jazz-inflected groove, the song sketches a life lived between aspiration and stability — not chasing excess, not pretending security, just taking inventory.

This version leans conversational rather than flashy. It’s observational, understated, and deliberately unheroic. The hook functions as a mantra, not a flex — something repeated because repetition is how you get through the week.

No luxury fantasy. No collapse narrative.
Just middle classy.

Middle Classy (Jazz Rap)

A late-80s–inspired conscious rap take on modern hustle culture and influencer mythology.
Entrepreneur Porn dissects performative success, rented status, and algorithm-friendly lies with a clear-eyed, confrontational delivery.

This version leans into classic boom-bap sensibilities — mid-tempo, lyric-forward, no autotune — with an authoritative female vocal that treats the subject like a diagnosis, not a flex. Same scams, new aesthetics. Same math that never adds up.

“Same ol’ scam, just a new decade.”

Entrepreneur Porn (80s Female Boom-Bap)

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Phrases and Phases Publishing is a one-man label, archive, and reality-refraction field. Founded by J. Adam Walters - lawyer-turned lyricist, satirist, and architectural dropout from polite society - it's the home for songs that shouldn't exist, poems that go to far, and fictional universes with better paperwork than the Library of Congress. 

From folk elegies to parody rap to theocratic cartoon trauma epics, everything here is written by a human who uses AI as a collaborator and instrument rather than an outsourced brain, and finished only when it reaches a space where laughing hurts, or hurting laughs.

Tired of Turtling (Folk)

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