a-z of hayden’s music i can find on soundcloud, minus finalized perverts & preacher's daughter tracks, the streaming version of the inbred EP, and recent ambient work – basically anything that isn't included on the ethel cain and אשמדאי soundcloud profiles. includes songs from dead monikers (mother forgive me). updated often <3

track count 10/08/25: 196
track count 03/08/25: 192
track count 13/07/25: 194
track count 26/06/25: 191
track count 30/4/25: 192
[…]
track count 29/9/23: 124

anhedönia unreleased collection

a chronological playlist of songs released (or re-released) under the ethel cain moniker. order is based on the date each song was released/shared (i.e. not when they were recorded) so some demos appear after their corresponding finished track. i had to guess at some – i did my best!

cover photo is a shot from the june 22, 2024 show at the greek via @/artziety on instagram

(edit aug. 2024 – added tommy/miss anhedonia tracks. most are mislabelled)

(sitting at 178 tracks as of 7/10/25)

chronological ms. cain

unreleased ethel cain tracks (i.e. omits work from previous monikers). includes bonus tracks exclusive to physical copies of previous EPs. ordered chronologically based on the date each track was originally shared.

cover photo is a shot by jason nocito for hommegirls

7/10/25: 112

unreleased ethel cain (but actually)

angel

for willoughby tucker ♡

Copy of chronological ms. cain

Hayden Unreleased - CD #2 Rot

White Silas - Apostate

Ethel Cain - Untitled Tumblr Upload 1

Age Of Delilah

ethel cain - family tree (slowed)

Selby Wall - ethel cain

Ethel Cain - Child of Cain (Bonus track)

Ad Nauseam

happy’s always been the dream, but we need to start wakin up

that white horse is long gone
say your prayers, we’re moving on
but we’re moving on
we just keep moving on

ethel cain - independence day (prod. little triste)

ethel cain - casey

ethel cain - great wide nowhere

Growing Pains - Ethel Cain

Achyls - White Silas

[Verse 1: Aelyx]
Heavy eyes, face stressin’ [?] in the speakerphone
I fell asleep, and I woke up to a dial tone
I miss the words that you said when we didn't speak
You told me when you left you'd always be with me

[Verse 2: Aelyx, Both]
I cut the sadness out in the evergreen
I thought I cut you now, and you can't ever leave
But you let me walk away, you didn't say a fuckin' word
Had to grab my own spine and pretend it didn't hurt

[Chorus: Ethel Cain]
It was a wake up call
The dead of night and I'm screaming in the hall
Can we just go back to before I knew?
It'd be my first new year
Without you
It was a wake up call
That night I put both of my fists through the wall
In hopes that I could pull you back through
It's gonna be a damn long year
Without you

[Vocalisation]

[Chorus: Ethel Cain]
It was a wake up call, and I miss you but
I never miss the butterflies that you left dead in my gut
I poured that cracked glass full 'till it overflowed
It's just a sign of the times, now that I'm letting you go
It's just a wake up call to put you to rest
Crying knowing this is my last time watching you get dressed
Holding that empty glass and the clock, he says
I'm going home screaming "Fuck it, I wish you the best!"

[Outro: Ethel Cain]
It’s just a wake up call
(It’s just a wake up call)
(It’s just a wake up call)
It’s just a wake up call
It’s just a wake up call
[Vocalisation]



Wake up Call (demo) Aelyx & Ethel Cain

Ethel Cain - Skinheads (Demo)

Adolescence

Willoughby Tucker, I'll Always Love You

Nettles

lyrics:

You spent your whole life trying to be tough
Cause your parents married pain to love
But you go all white at the sight of blood
And Jesus knows that you've seen enough
Something happened back when you were young
It kills you but you won't tell me what it was
Sleeping on the floor in your grandma's room
Too tired to cry, too weak to even move
You're so scared you'll make the mistakes you
Had to watch your daddy make that
Took your mama and everything away
But it's not your fault and I don't need help
Cause these bruises on my body, I gave to myself
You're allowed to take care of yourself
25 and you're still crying in your sleep
Scared the world is out to get you
And you've tried every bottle but you're in too deep
Cause you don't know any better, how could you?
And the fear is there when we're in your bed
And I start to cry and you think it's something you did
But baby I'm alright
I'm alright
You're so scared you'll make the mistakes you
Had to watch your daddy make that
Took your mama and everything away
But it's not your fault and I don't need help
Cause these bruises on my body, I gave to myself
You're allowed to take care of yourself
Last night I dreamed that you had gone away
Woke up in tears and stayed in bed all day
And I'm terrified that I'll lose everyone I have
That I'll watch them leave and wait but they won't come back
You're so scared you'll make the mistakes you
Had to watch your daddy make that
Took your mama and everything away
But it's not your fault and I don't need help
Cause these bruises on my body, I gave to myself
You're allowed to take care of yourself

bruises ♡ ethel cain

all credits to ethel cain / hayden silas anhedönia

the altar

Way down in the south I was clawing at the angel 

with his cracked stone face nothing good could save him 

he needs the money 'cause it pays the way until it breaks him 

it always breaks him but he swears nothing shakes him 

went down to the water been down for days

wishing i was in his favor with no need to pray 

but I'm face down, right bound tight on the ground, right 

and he ain't comin' back through with the daylight.

Down South (Snippet) - Ethel Cain

Dust Bowl

PRODUCED BY DØVES FEATURING WICCA PHASE SPRINGS ETERNAL FOR #GOTHBOICLIQUE 

ENGINEERED BY DYLAN KIM 
@GHETTOBLVSTVS @TIEFA 

ARTWORK COLLABORATION WITH REYN YEAGER 
@HIROSHISISLAND HIROSHISISLAND64.TUMBLR.COM 

DOVESCRY.BANDCAMP.COM FOR DOWNLOAD

Down South (Snippet) - Ethel Cain

piscinias