Watching Me

prod: https://soundcloud.com/ihateshinigami

MERCH: http://lilxlotus.storenvy.com/products/18507607-lil-lotus-noose-longsleeve

Kiss my eyelids (prod. Shinigami)

Still stuck in my emo phase
Lyrics:


I've got the whole world on my back

Yeah, cause I'm 5'9, 165 
Established 1995 
Living like I'm not getting out alive 
Ima take a second just to tell you why 

I had thoughts since 6th grade 
That this world was not made for the sake 
of the people like me 
who can't see past their mistakes, and  misdeeds 

And I bleed the same blood you bleed
So why are you tryna cut me? 
Why's there always something you want from me?
Why can't you be happy for me?

That I'm not that kid on the phone screaming fuck this world I'm leaving? 
Like when I was sixteen and,  it still feels like I'm dreaming
When I call your phone and realize I forgot to breath in 
Forgot the grave that he's in 
I hope you know I mean it 

When I say I'm only here today cause this music keeps me breathing 
It's my only healing

I'm not alone if you can feel it

I'm not alone, if you know the bliss 
When i  heard that girl don't slit her wrists no more
From that time I reminisced at my show 
Told her there's reasons to stay don't go 

Don't push your family away I know 
They don't understand all the pain you hold 
Im just as sad know you're not alone 
Don't let your story go untold 





 I know you're here in spirit, put on deja entendu 
The only time I'm sad now is when I think of you
I hope one day these kids get some of my lyrics tattooed 
But If I only help one of them then I did it for all you 
I don't know how she's doing, no we haven't stayed in touch 
But I helped her put the knife down and that means so fucking much
I hope one day these kids get some of my lyrics tattooed 
But If I only helped one of them then I did it, I did it for you

I Hope You Know I Mean It

production by jay vee
vocals by shinigami

@ihateshinigami
full project together soon

grew up too fast
like a bullet breaking thru the glass
remember that
fell asleep in every single class
i hate the fact
that ive become an insomniac
i hate the fact
that im never ever going back

cant even say that im feeling sad
i cant help but dwell on everything i had back when i was a kid
all those emotions they cease to exist

the world was so new woke up bright every day
now im just jaded its faded to grey
and i lay in a coffin that i helped create
facing the fact that ill never feel great again

shinigami - grew up 2 fast (prod. jay vee)

@qawikamri
@zenimoe
@lil_yung_pharaoh

lyrics:-
Zeni Moe
I waste my time getting faded
Melancholy my favourite
Type of sadness, i lay here
And just hope I can take it

Fall from the start
and all my memories dark
I can't recall feeling anything bitch
I don't have a heart
Now imma stalk on your facebook
And drink until I pass out
I kill myself just like I should
It's the only way out.

Qawi Kamri
Hands trembling, Heart's aching
Brain's shutting, life's ending
Wait.
Can you stop the rain?
Can you stop the pain?
Can you stop everything?
Can i just stop living?

I waste my time getting faded
Melancholy my favourite
Type of sadness, i lay here
And just hope I can take it

Lil Yung Pharaoh
I have this hole in my chest,
where there should be a heart,
Whenever I find something good
I always tear it apart,
I spend my time in the dark,
don't know what memories are,
Every night I'm faded,
feel like my life's been wasted,
so pour me a drink,
I spill my blood in the sink,
no oxygen I can't think,
I take then xans till I'm pink.

MAKE IT STOP (w Zeni Moe, Lil Yung Pharaoh)

ＳＴＡＹ　ＩＮ　ＹＯＵＲ　ＬＡＮＥ　ＩＦ　ＹＯＵ　
ＫＮＯＷ　ＷＨＡＴ　ＩＳ　ＢＥＳＴ

//ファック・フェイク//

we've been sitting on this one for a while. i hope you guys enjoy it. thank you so much for all the love and support recently. this means the world to me. please give some love to huskai. he did erryting from the beat to the mixing.

i also dropped some new merch today. you can peep that here
https://teespring.com/stores/guardin

follow huskai

huskai x guardin - what i got

Special thanks to https://www.instagram.com/fallingap.art/ for the artwork on this <3
https://twitter.com/sayygoodbyye
https://soundcloud.com/goodbyye

Lyrics:
Fuck you I'm just so mad
Got me feeling so sad
Think about the times we had
Why'd you have to leave like that
Left me all alone in fact
I been lonely holding back
Tears in my eyes looking past
Wishing that this could've last

Writing this letter so I could say
Dearest friend I hope you'll be okay
Think about you each and every day
I'm still wishing that you could've stayed
Want you to know that I'm broken
Hear the words that were never spoken
I was fine until I was awoken
A heart is so fragile when it's stolen

Fuck you I'm just so mad
Got me feeling so sad
Think about the times we had
Why'd you have to leave like that
Left me all alone in fact
I been lonely holding back
Tears in my eyes looking past
Wishing that this could've last

So I'll write this note and then I'll burn it
Let the smoke carry up the words and turn it
To a message from below so you learn it
Thought I wanted death before but now I yearn it
I know you want to go
Please stay I'll be alone
If you leave from this home
Don't go out in the cold

Don't go out in the snow

Please don't leave me alone

I don't want you to go

Please don't leave me alone

why'd you have to go

@prodreaper
@guccihighwaters

[chorus]
ash out on some cardboard
sour lips, wide hips, fall in love with your contour
mi amor, mi amor

[verse]
kiss me in the rain or leave me at the front door
tell me you despise me tell me that you need more
tell me i'm a freak, tell me i'm insecure, mi amor mi amor

if i wanna dance with the devil i can ask
why you lock your phone baby tell me what is that
if you got an issue then you know i got your back
if he wants to meet you can say just, that

it won't come to floracion
i know that you kissed him i know that he put you down
he can find, someone else, he can throw, around

[chorus]
ash out on some cardboard
sour lips, wide hips, fall in love with your contour
mi amor, mi amor

[verse]
indecisive leaning on the vices i don't like advice, i just flip the light switch
sleep it off, overslept got missed calls, 
do not disturb on my phone got sick thoughts,

 mi amor, i wanna love you till my hearts sore, 
i was drowning in emotions, when i met you i really stopped choking
 but you deserve the world, i really mean that
i don't have it all, i know that you can see that,
 allot of things to explore, but i just want you behind this closed door

mi amor w/ guccihighwaters (prod.reaper)

Keltecc x EmoFruits - OldGirl (prod.lilsp00k)

my mind is clear and i know what i wanna do <3

✨ Polar ✨
💎 @polar333 💎
💎 www.instagram.com/ihatepolar/ 💎
💎 https://twitter.com/ihatepolar/ 💎

✨ charlie shuffler ✨
💎 @charlieshuffler 💎
💎 www.instagram.com/charlieshuffler/ 💎

✨ Business Inquires ✨
💎 polar333.official@gmail.com 💎💎

lyrics:
i dont wanna fight no more
i dont wanna lie no more
i dont wanna hide no more
i dont wanna try no more
i dont wanna fight, i dont wanna lie
i dont wanna hide, i dont wanna try
i dont wanna fight, i dont wanna lie
i dont wanna hide, we do this all the time

i dont wanna fight no more
i dont wanna lie no more
i dont wanna hide no more
i dont wanna try no more
saw you in the rain it pours
called you on the phone ignored
keep on coming back for more
i dont wanna do this anymore

i dont wanna fight with you 
you ride with me 
i lie to you you lie to me
its hard for you its hard for me
i dont see how we could be dont talk to me
all that you tell me is lies
wasting my time sipping white whine
crushing up lines thats out of line
dont hit my line
love you for life but i wanna die

i dont wanna fight, i dont wanna lie
i dont wanna hide, i dont wanna try
i dont wanna fight, i dont wanna lie
i dont wanna hide, we do this all the time

i dont wanna fight no more
i dont wanna lie no more
i dont wanna hide no more
i dont wanna try no more
saw you in the rain it pours
called you on the phone ignored
keep on coming back for more
i dont wanna do this anymore

why cant i trust no one close to you
lies spread on your doorstep enough for 2
come back when you want have no heart in you
i took the abuse getting over the truth

stream ❄️

i jumped head first into evil (prod. charlie shuffler)

new video for "highschool" out now! https://youtu.be/W00tTrHoaCo