Trapped out of the rest of the world, these two powerful blue entities find an escape to reflect and duke it out in this episode of Quizzical Quarrels!

Snakebite126 as Jevil
JesseBoxVO as Lapis
garbageGothic as Peridot

Written by Quizzique

Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Beat prod. by Anywaywell
Arrangement and additional instrumentation by Quizzique

Art by 3ple
Thumbnail by Quizzique

LYRICS:
 
Jevil:
Welcome, welcome, boisengirls, to this Crystal Gem’s poisoned world
You’ve unlocked the door, so now prepare to see chaos unfurled!
Round and round the carousel goes, you circle back to the barn you hang
You leave and come right back so often, I’d think you’d ran on Boomerang

Fusion’s leaving you out of sorts, dealing with trauma since the divorce
So in your spare time, you now resort to mighty morphin’ some meaty morps
Not like me, of course, I’m thriving in my little freedom, something you were never shown
So you fought with those that kept you trapped in a mirror, then redeemed in a singular episode

It’s sad, sad that you’re looking so blue, your show’s run off the air like you’re back on the moon
I’m glad, glad your runtime got the boot, call you the farm when you’re torn from the roots
I’m mad, mad, you’re breaking my heart, you and Peri look like Homeworld: broken apart
You have, have a chance to restart, so perhaps for this battle, try not to depart


Lapis Lazuli:
So, this depressed jester from the Dark World thinks he dealt a verse?
Ask the giant tyrants I’ve defied, they’ll tell you I’ve felt worse
I helmed this cursed mirror within my gem’s grasp for thousands of years
So reflect on your defect of a story, I sure won’t drown in tears

You think I’m frightened of your suit attacks? I’m known to hit diamonds when up to the bat
I’d tear up this hack if he goes to a beach, they’re calling me Bob ‘cause I float on the beat

Peridot:
You should know to retreat when confronting the B team!

Lapis:
Even she can’t compare to the nonsense you’re speaking

Peridot:
Hey! Our bond is complex, that’s a smart thing to say

Lapis:
But at least my best friend didn’t lock me away!
You have claims of metamorphosis but no development to show

Peridot:
Lapis! Tell ‘em what you said when I asked if you even saw this secret boss! 

Lapis:
…No
Winning’s not within your cards, The FUN Gang made your levels fail
Won’t take the Garnet’s future vision to see the end of Jevilstail


Jevil:
Oh what fun, what fun! More games to play, with a new participant!
I hoped for a dating game, but I guess Ruby flew off with that ship!
Uee hee hee! You’ve got me like the Joker; in a laughing fit!
Yet I’m Revving up on this track so you can call me the Harlequin!

You can’t join my world! You seem more like Lars, how you cower away with your Clustered fears
You kids seeing stars? All your pleads and cries would put me to sleep for a hundred years!
Now, I won’t be the first jester to hit your series with an interjection
Want more screen time for your Future? Then return to your reflection


Lapis:
How does this thing work again?

Peridot:
Just press the button on the cartridge

Lapis:
Right, uhh…for the last time…I don’t. Want. Your garbage.
You think you saddened me? I felt more torn up by Camp Pining Hearts
I’d split you in two, but seems your mind and heart already declined apart

A numbers game? That plan’s dumb and lame. I can terraform worlds, don’t uphold your fight
You’ll lose those bids, and you call us kids?

Peridot:
You do know we’re centuries older, right?

Lapis:
This card shark’s under my control, and all his tricks are unregarded

Peridot:
Hey, and isn’t it ironic?

Lapis:
Yep, the joker got discarded

Lapis Lazuli vs Jevil - QUIZZICAL QUARRELS #8 (ft. Snakebite126, JesseBoxVO & garbageGothic)

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have musical entities that cause stress to those who come across them; Mad Piano from Big Boo’s Haunt in Super Mario 64 versus Bop It, 90’s audio toy sensation. Enjoy!

TheMonarchy as Mad Piano
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@TheMonarchyVA / https://www.youtube.com/@OliTheMonarchy / https://www.youtube.com/@monarchybattleraps
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/olithemonarchy
SoundCloud:
https://soundcloud.com/oli-the-monarchy

Eric the Audible as Bop It
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@EricTheAudible
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/erictheaudible
SoundCloud:
https://soundcloud.com/central-rap-battles  

-LYRICS-

Mad Piano (0:09)
Yo! Looking for eight coins? There’s one to your left!
But it’s not the only thing I have covered in red
I’ll bop you ‘til you shatter! Make your circuitry bleed sparks
Plus you’ll find the key of my teeth… B#
See this chair? Sit down, take the polite road
Soprano C, you’re gonna scream out on a high note
I'm not settling, I demolish a score
I keep banging! And keep banging! And keep banging! And keep banging!
It’s like this Dizaster got me paying homage to Cort
See these coffins falling? Next thing you know, you’re falling in yours
On the topic of court; for being lame, you've stood accused
I'm not judging when these shelves start throwing books at you
Had a little fad and just kept extending that
It's like Simon Said "instead of memory, test their attention span"
Between the cash grabs and narrators so obnoxious
I got a command for you!... stop it.

Bop It (0:54)
Did I rattle your cage, dude? You’re Mad cuz I’m way smooth
Piano should stay tuned! I’m naturally playin’ you!
Wanting red? I’ll leave you spinning. You gotta be kidding
Thinking you’re the grand type... You’re more MIDI
You move so slow, I circle you with no running
If you hear boos around you, It’s not your ghost buddies
Haven’t you realized I’m twisted yet?
Fitnessgram shit; I'll make sure Suicide Drills in your head
You’re the least scary thing in your “sCaRy oLd hOuSe”
Walking wobbly like you hopped off the merry-go-round
Wait, yeah, you belong in that kinda room
There's been a remake and a port: this piano’s on loop (c’mon!)
More per minute, you’re getting b-b-beaten
You couldn’t hit me in Smash R-R-Remix
Save the jumpscare, you won’t pull it with me
After your little lullaby, I’m going to sleep!

-CREDITS-

Written, directed, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by 2Deep
Beat purchased by Fightmarker

Feedback by TheMonarchy, Fightmarker, Syroquise, and the spaceship
Shoutout to RacconBroVA, Dilly, TaigaTonic, Dani, Sculpture_, and the Smash Remix team

Thanks for listening
-ComJac

Bop It vs Mad Piano | Rap Battle (HARB)

prod by JEFFJENKEM

ghost

Do you like scary movies? I don’t like yours:
The overglorified torture porn
Even with so much gore, your film ain’t rough enough.
Heh… pretty funny, huh?
Once I cut out the blood and guts, I’ll bring it up to snuff

I’m horrorcore: do it like I’m Voorhees or the Torrance sort, 
So expect a kid to get his torso torn
Vocal chords screaming “mommy!” as I’m growing close
Home Alone? Well, you don’t know for sure

But I’ll get a little festive with it when I visit
Hear doorbell’s a-ringing, now Kev’s a Christmas spirit 
No answer? Then I’ll enter like my knife does
Grab the handle, twist it, and leave the inside sliced up- OW FUCK (*hot doorknob*)

kev

BOZO! My traps’ll ward you off!
I set them all up while you monologued and waffled on
Your victims get away? Take advice from their escapes
If you’re having trouble with the door, try the stairway! (*hit with paint can*) 

HAH, you fell again!
Since you slip a lot, I’ve prevented it (*steps on nail*) 
‘Cause I’m sharp and a step ahead!
If you like stalking on women then 
I know another creepy crawly you can befriend! (*spider attack!!*)

Ghostface, you should be honoured and proud
You’ll finally get put in the papers when your body gets found
Because you'll live up to your name if you don’t walk yourself out
Once you trip on one more thing, you’ll end up haunting this house

ghost

I’ll show Kidzbop Kramer a real rip off
They’ll struggle putting you together if you’re craving to be Jigsaw
You’re soulless like his puppet as well! You’re an expert!
You’ll get wheeled out, too! On a STRETCHER

kev

Stretch is right! The ghost’s franchise is dead!
If Scream gets too long, it’s a pain in the neck
Good thing you mask it up with voice changing effects
When you’re stabbed, you’d yell like me in every chase scene you’re in

ghost

In this verse, one more Ghostface assists me with this
But I heard there was more of your flicks, and I’m pissed
Cause like my accomplices, a second’s expected
But not the third, or the fourth, or the fifth, or the sixth

(*multiple ghostfaces appear and chase kevin*)

Fuck a second me, I brang a never-ending me crusade
Meant to beat and maim Dennis the Mentally Deranged
Wanna bash our voice? You should take a tip
For when you made the scripts of all your later films and fuckin’ change the pitch!

So which one of us will get the kill now?
It’s a free for all, like you’re Kevin MacLeod
We’ll tear your throat out if you’re yelling so loud
It’ll be a Silent Night once you’re dead in the ground!

(*they got majorly juked by kevin, they stab a decoy*)

Wait, it’s just a cutout on a shitty old broom!

kev

(*kevins at the top of some building pelting them with bricks*)

I’m awful surprised you got the wrong guy
It’s your signature move
Cause all your narratives share a template
Wanna be bricks in the wall? Oh ho, you’ll get bricks!

Always partnered up, and it baffles me
Only for stabbing sprees, never romantically
You wanna gut ‘em because you’re gutted they’ve had enough talk
But you’re just hung up on the fact you get hung up on

(*one ghostface runs away from kevin’s brick assault into the city streets*

You haunt your daughter far from where you started off
You got Lost in New York after you lost the plot
Because her mind is a mess
But when you’re dead, she’ll be like how you’ll get this violent dent: 

Old Man Marley:

Right in the head

(*old man w the shovel oneshots ghostface*)


hi! welcome back to a new different version of rosenthal battles where i sort of just dont give a shit about anything past the demo stage because i cba!

i actually started writing this after christmas 2024 and had both first verses done before i went MIA, but during my break i eventually chiseled this down til i got where it is today, and im happy w how it turned out.

it was also very fun to write kevins 1st, with all the trap shit. i didnt know how to convey that kind of physical comedy purely through an audio format so i hoped the sound effects work haha

Ghostface VS Kevin McCallister - Scrapped Battles of Whatever

all crimes are legal if you aren't technically human

DumbShlop as West of Loathing
mintoreos as Turnip Boy

Written by mintoreos
Beat by Tantu Beats
Mixed by Danii
Cover by TomPuffs

[Verse 1: West of Loathing]
Lemme fire off a warning shot before I swap from western to hip-hop and spit hot *spits into spittoon*
Won’t need to wait two weeks to make this kid rot
Don’t fight an ace high like me when I’m pissed off (yes sir)
Of course you make yer town of produce frustuated (damn right)
All you can say is three points of punctuation
You may have hanged with some onion satan, but this felon sadist will expire on the pavement

I’m outta patience! *spits* Go run more errands
This herb appears just as outdated as his references
Here's a quick lesson if ya wanna keep yer residence, rippin’ up yer mail doesn’t uncorrupt the government
Don’t talk to me how you’re oh so unique just lookin’ to be another pixel art indie
Yer bit off those games and spit em back at the industry, makes sense ya exist thanks to a meme of yoshi

*spits* Kid, yer Reddit humor ain’t subtle.
How’s yer dialogue harder to sit through than yer puzzles?
And what’s with yer morals, they’re honestly horrible! 
Out killin’ kids but paying taxes is where ya struggle? *spits*
It’s not solely the forest beasts exposed to radiation *spits* 
Reviews must be too if they gave you any admiration
Always escaping *spits* the burdens he’s taken *spits*
Brings a whole new meaning *spits* to tax evasion


Hello? Are…..are yer going to say anything feller?
See, I knew- I knew you were going to pull this shit. 
I get yer a silent protagonist but c’mon man you gotta at least say something!

OH LORD ALL MIGHTY, okay that scared me, hooo

[Verse 2: Turnip Boy] 
I thought the IRS might be at my home’s doorstep but all I see here is this monochrome snore-fest
Dogging my aesthetic while looking like a joke sketch, both your art style and personality got no depth
The wild wild west just decides to fight the best against a line and vile mess it ain’t even a contest
Rushing DLC so devotees get any sort of content, but my assumed greed is what you want to condemn?

Alright then, we just met but let’s skip the pleasantries
I’ll certainly be wrecking the enemy of equity
Cus it seems to me that playing fake sheriff is your legacy
I mean jeez even your own gun’s a better deputy
Why ya facing me? You’re too drunk to battle in the first place. How’d you flop this back and forth when your game’s turn based?
You began in Boring Springs but you look more mundane. I'd say I take names but you’re already un….named!

Think you’re tough, my guy you're a pansy. Like bitch, how does a cowboy get defeated by an anti-virus? (Dumbass!)
The way your party fights shit is priceless
Haven’t seen things be worse together since that human-cactus hybrid
This beer chugging, cow punching, cheap drawing, blows at rap
And don’t try to hide those facts under one of your bowler hats
This town ain’t big enough, so get out before I smoke your ass!
and pull the gat on some sort of rip-off Henry Stickmen tra-aughhh fuck

[Verse 3: West of Loathing & Turnip Boy]
There’s another warning shot, and- oh wait, I think I hit him in the gut!
Hey, you good bud? WHY DID YOU SHOOT ME?! 
I guess this booze is makin’ me a tad woozy
You were holding a gun while downing some whisky? That’s almost as reckless as you running from your family
Are yer seriously dissin’ me while you’re bleedin’ to death? I mean as a vegetable aren’t yer meant to stay fresh?

Please just get an ambulance, quick! Feller, all we got is horse and carriage. Shit!
Look kiddo *spits* How many times do you need to spit!? Yer can either die here or yer can stop being a massive bitc-
Alright alright I get it, now don’t let me bleed out. Only if ya swear to pay the bills on yer greenhouse
I’ll never give a cent to the regime OUCH Then it’s time for me *spits* to put this freak down

West of Loathing vs Turnip Boy - Mint Rap Battles (ft. DumbShlop)

Suction Cup Man • Verse 1: (8 Bars)

Hey, I wrote you a song!

“Suction Cup Man’s coming around and you know he’s getting lit!
Stinkermeaner’s a whiny old little bitch who ain’t getting shit!”
Now typically, I leave dummies like my cups; red as shit
But honestly, you’re more like a plunger, cus you can’t get a grip! (YUH!)

So whadday ya, gay? Why did you step on those jays and then ask for a run back? 
Had the crowd shouting ya name, then you got sent to your grave? (heh) DUMBASS
You tried to walk up until Robert rocked you, now ya soul went to hell saying “look at me go!”
The difference between you and me going under? The devils not currently FUCKING MY SOUL

Stinkmeaner • Verse 1: (8 Bars)

White boys mocking my shit, y’all mad at me? they can suck my dick 
Buddy ain’t climbing the ranks, cus ya climbings rank, imma tower all over yo shit
I’m not a villain, I’m a cancer that got cancer, now I’m stuck
You really picking fights with the handicapped? bros ableist…BUT I’M ABLE TO FUCK HIM UP

(AY, AY) Bro’s washed like Cinch (AY, AY) The fuck did you think?
(AY, AY) Can’t call me gay, when you filled all the holes in your life with dicks!
Rippin’ off South Park, shit couldn’t be me, boy, I look too clean, nobody can stop it
Since you like to blow missiles, come and climb my red rocket!

Suction Cup Man • Verse 2: (8 Bars)

(Oh-ho-ho-ho!) Don’t do-si-do with ME, Grandpa, professional hating’s ya damn job
I can do anything, fuck the damn law! Bitch, you struggle with putting ya pants on!
And like honestly, unc, what the fuck is ya problem? You go around screaming out “fuck life!”
You’re a dick! *strumming* so why don't ya suck mine!!! (BITCH!)

Suction Cup Man can’t be remade or replaced by the CIA (YUH!)
While you were recreated in a day and not one thing changed (NOPE!)
So come back with a better plan, cus I can NEVER get smoked (NEVER!)
Till then, I’ll see ya when I’m back in Hell: LOOK AT ME GO! (HAHAHA!)

Stinkmeaner • Verse 1: (8 Bars)

You sung yo sawn song but I want an encore, RUN IT BACK!
‘Fore I strum that ukulele a full note up ya’ ass!
Trust there’s layers to this shit, cus on a track, I’m mixing
I got moves like Mike Tyson, you got beat by a pigeon! 

Should’ve stuck to plushie, ya big softie, now I’ll leave you open
Barbecue a flank of unseasoned meat, cus boy, I’ll freakin’ smoke ‘em
I ain’t NEVER lost a single battle yet, and that’s on fonum
Never put a white boy ‘gainst a DEMON in a nigga moment! (ya BITCH!)

Well fuck you! 
The fuck? Fuck you!
Fuck you too!
Fuck you three!
Wha-you can’t just steal my schtick, fuck you!
Aww you gonna get mad? Fuck you!
…
…
ya motha’

Stinkmeaner vs. Suction Cup Man • RAP BATTLE! (TRB)

► CREDITS:

littleflecks as Feathers McGraw

Matt Raichous as Mojo Jojo

Narrator voiced by Alchemyking

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Mojo Jojo Art by Luke Reardon

Feathers McGraw Art by TreToonzz

Beat Prod. by Teimunity

Mixed by Serena


Cover Art by JK03


►LYRICS:

Mojo Verse 1 

Ah, the chicken from the wanted posters, I have been expecting you
I heard you were in Townsville and knew you would need to rent a room

And that is why I, Mojo Jojo, made that stupid ad
To lure you to my lair, and you have fallen right into my trap

Because you are here, you are in my presence and defenseless
I will beat you with my battle raps and have you apprehended

And collect the bounty money to help fund my plan to conquer the Earth
Then finish my breakfast, but the chicken comes first (evil laugh)


Feathers Verse 1 

Alright, the glove is coming off (What?!)
Yeah, I’m not a chicken but I’m certainly the cock of the walk

No other robber’s on the watch of every copper in the county
Man, I’m worth a thousand pounds, you’ve taken several thousand poundings

From the Wonder Triplets you seek to destroy, but even with your freakish toys
You still have weaker evil ploys than the Amoeba Boys

You tried a million plans but always wound up overpowered
You couldn’t even get a leg up with the right trousers


Mojo Verse 2

No, this cannot be, I wrote both of my verses
Based on the fact that I assumed you were a chicken, cuuuuurses

Mwahaha, I am now well-versed in your movie roles
Though you have very little material, like your studio!

You try to fly solo, but on your own you are no menace
You just met some random cheesehead and depend on his inventions

You cannot take the heat, for when your plans go off course
You start sweating like a pig, resembling mojo pork

You had an excellent plot, till it went off the rails and then you were caught
I shall refer to you as Fettered McGraw

That is to say you were a failure, your scheme was ineffective
It was thwarted, foiled, prevented! Well, actually, maybe not prevented, uhh

But you went to jail, the place of your residence was a prison
While the only lengthy sentences I get are from my diction

When you broke out of your cell you tried your heist again in hopes of doing better
And repetition really ruffles my feathers


Feathers Verse 2 

That’s enough, let’s flash back to your past, you were a lab assistant
Smashing tons of crap and getting chastised by your master

In fact, you broke the glass that made the Powerpuffs by accident
So Daddy kicked out and you went back to the lab again

And then you thought you’d found a prime mate for companionship
But she was just a plant, and she ordered a banana split

You’re really weak, if I got cheated by some madam
I would never feel a pain in my soul, ‘cause I don’t have one

You must be sad, being an unwanted villain is crazy
I’d suggest you call the Hotline, but you’re beyond saving

So how about I put you out the misery you’re facing
As I finally take a shot at a mad scientist, say "cheese”

Narrator
So once again the day is saved, thanks to…
Feathers McGraw the evil penguin?
I don’t like the ramifications of this one


Mojo Jojo vs Feathers McGraw. PowerPoint Rap Battles

Written by King Ducky
Mixed By Jort
Art by Grasman & Tompuffs
Chiselled by Raisu
Cover by SPM
Writing help by Futurefilmmaker, Forgottenson & Supergamerbro
Prod. Epistra & Glitchdude

Spinel (Langlelee):
Well Well Well…
High time I slice a runner up when like a gate I shut her up 
Leave a bummer crunched till theres nothing but Charlotte's guts
Ya just a Bendy clone that can bend who decides to side with violence 
Only stuck with kids on the web by swiping my schtick! 

Wooh!…It’s quite the stretch to think violence can
Solve your fights as when you tried and ran at a guy when manic 
You died in a panic and winded up diced because you got tied in the end
Got caught right in a grind machine like a Fly In A Web! 

The fight got in-tense, her upper half snapped like a rubber band!
Much like her stubborn head when the only ones that loved her left
This mother lives below their land and still can't understaaaaand!
That kids can have Other Friends…

Only finds a match in a mindless transcript or the fine dust gathers of grime attached to
This spider's massive vibrant plastic albeit doll she is tightly yanked up by a hand! And
I can't stand tantrums bout being abandoned. I sat in a garden for years unattended! 
The Garten your fans have all cheered for is Banban, Windows you stick to aren't smeared up like that rep!

Mommy Long Legs (TheLoneSporano):
Your laughable tramp design's as scratched as a stone you're shackled to 
I rap as well as the vines lapped scant around your ankles do! 
A broken rubber hose, no one wants blobs of pouts you've slobbered out
The teardrops you've bawled out would toss me down the water spout!

Bonzo Bunny(GreenOwl)
Tried to right the wrongs when your fight had stopped (augh!)

Mommy Long Legs
Still, you’re reliant on Diamond palms
And now…

Mini Wuggies(GnomeYT, Elizikin, Fulmon)
Diamonds have good laughs at the pain you had felt
Why that track would have had them drifting away too, Spindel…

Pug-A-Pillar (Danii):
I’m troublesome but tons of fun, you do what master asks while
Like trusted pugs, you sat dormant- a doormat you’re stamped down!
Who feuded to become used anew to be lost once the movie dropped?

Mommy Long Legs:
Why bubble gum! You blew up then were spat out!

Spinel:
Would ya really like knowing the blunt truth?
No youth in their right mind would touch you!
Life was an on loop broadcast of this abuse
Even one, two of your death scenes were unused!

My injector launched on Roses homeland,  
Dropping with less flaws than project playtime 
God its toxins can’t cross with 
When heads called the shots in Paynes life!
The same kids ya trained, played with, loved
Stay caged because you, obeyed Greybers law
Then wail blaming them?! Paynes taking the Game Stations top Played Plaything!

But… you’re no deadbeat mom
I don’t want to grind your gears but that’s an mcs job
Although we both had our backstories render past hurts
At least I got my happily ever after

TV:
Mommy Long Legs!/ BrAnd NEw /with/ tunes n' beats
Unlike/ BOnZo!/ And!/ Spinel…/who?/ are TwO!/Clingy!
(*ooooh)/ YOU!/ were in/ quite the/ sticky situation 
Even those/ sHOeS/ we're in a!/ sticky situation 
Don’t whine/ over Stevens/ speech of peace
InSTEAD…/ repeat this scene on the tv!
Say did she lie/ Did SHe?

Mommy Long Legs:
Playing HIDE… AND… SEEK?

TEN!
I'll thrash you through dust, the best you could do is mood-swinging!
NINE!
I'll drag you through the mud so let's view the slew which you bring in

EIGHT!
Quite an uptight gal, want to talk unused when you might have been cut right out?
SEVEN!
Then subside down on a dime when it got cried out almost like the gems upside down

SIX!
Thousand years clinging onto a dead memory singing songs: an obsessed melody!
FIVE! 
Pity Pot had the best weaponry which she lost!

FOUR
Ment for staging mentors plaything yet your temper stained it 
THREE
 You’re never making ever-fated entertainment!

TWO! Pedals withers, love is forced, oh how you lose
She has come up short, no wonder Rose outgrew you…

Spinel vs. Mommy Long Legs - Royal Rap Battle! [ft. Langlelee & TheLoneSporano]

Ego as Tom
Ego as Herobrine
Ego as Edd, Matt, and Tord
Written by: Ego, Kyllisto
Mixed by: jordy
Cover art by: Cidisswo

LYRICS:

EGO RAP BATTLES!!!!

HEROBRINE!!!!

VS!!!!

TOM!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

[Herobrine]
It’s the, urban legend27, haunting your bros seed 
Bloodying you, vans to hair, thats how I coat steves
Your only sharp at the top, like my pyramids,
Just go check the html files, BITCH I’M HIM
Thought the drip was on point, but you look like pointed dripstone
So i wouldn’t split hairs or he might end up breaking his bones
I build structures, you get hammered and fail
Pencil neck, but I’ll be the one to drag you to hell
Got no balls, top to bottom, like your old design, you’ll flatline
But thinking bout your fanart makes me glad that I don’t have eyes

[Tom]
Holy texture change on a painting! Your flow is shit!
The funny thing about that, though: you don't exist
*sigh* pass the smirnoff, I’m stomping this hoax
Cuz y’know, I believe you, but my tomee bear don’t (Lame)
You’re no 303, you 404, with each forum page
I’m up against the fuckface taken down in every up-date?
I’ll blow up your dang place, make a mess of your blank face
Like your source code, what's left of you there won’t be a trace!

[Herobrine]
This eyeless jackoff needs a mask on to save face
But If Eddsworld was a band, than you’d play bass
No saving your save file, when I emerge from dark fog
So I’ll commence with the roasting like a burning montage
Classic stupid Tom, what's some bible student next to a god?
Your family tree is one that even I dont wanna touch on

[Tom]
Graduated from monster school, where your pupils lie and now
You’ve been milked by content farms, since they mistook you for a cow
And you’re supposed to be some evil spirit....? That’s some tame shit
Have you seen your bro’s statements? Even he’s filled with more hatred (ugh!)
I kill clones, you won’t survive against me
While I broke out of newgrounds, you got mining fatigue
I’ll treat this dead meme, like his livestream, and take his ass down
You ended how you started: by fading in the background

Edd: Wow, that was a great battle!
Tord: Oh definitely
Matt: Absolutely
Tom: No one will ever love me!

Tom vs Herobrine (Eddsworld vs Minecraft) - Ego Rap Battles

Written by SIR Rap Battles & 3ple
Mixed and Mastered by SIR Rap Battles
Art by Luke Reardon & jort
Beat by Raias Beats
Additional instrumentation by Glitch & SIR Rap Battles
Special thanks to Rakeish, Cherry-Jacob, Danii, MetaStarVA, AshleyMagica & Rabi

Little Mac (0:19):
Hey Doc! I think you’re mistaken
This isn’t what I meant by a ‘different trainer’
I mean look, she’s an amateur, let alone challenger
Would’ve thought she’d have better footwork as a traveller (grunts)

So you train to be the best in the whole land?
You remind me of every other trainer protag
Not even in the anime too? That’s gotta blow, dude
Ditched home, but you got nothin’ to write home to! 

(Uh) I’m so fabulous, your team’s average
Sic your ‘mons, I’ll bob and weave ‘em like it’s fabric
I’ve seen your films, you can’t act for shit
What’s a Champion doin’ in a trashy flick, huh? (ooh)

Toss her in and I’ll show her the ropes!
She’ll learn quick how a real fighter goes for the throat
So if you really love to battle, better hope you don’t choke
‘Cause paying up for defeat’s your way of going for broke!

Rosa (0:59):
Ah, I love battles… but can I get another round?
It’s Punch-Out, but it feels more like punching down
Here’s a tip if you wanna get steady gains
Train up like your next game, that's a real heavy-wait! (haha!)

You treat your series under similar bounds 
Yeah you're obeying the rules, by not kickin’ around
Wow, you dropped down and lost ground, not in shops now
Brought down from the stores, you were knocked out!

I’ll hand it to ‘ya, being a boxer sounds fun!
You get to dodge for your life, ‘till you’re replaced by a blonde
Ooooh, you got a Giga form? You’d fit right in with that sport circus!
Kept blowing your fuse, I bet you would ace the short circuit

(Hmm…) But you’ve got problems that you’re brawling through
Can’t think outside of the box when it’s just all you do
‘Cause from a glance at your foes sporting glaring designs
You're pretty good at making jabs at racist stereotypes! (chuckles)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             
Little Mac (1:39):
Aight fine, you wanna meddle with this pro?
No Splicer, I’ll split you like it’s Emmet and Ingo
And your - dex has got the most primitive shit I’ve ever seen
“Let’s add ice cream, the trash, and some dudes wearing gis” (grunts)

Seems finding love is a hopeless mission 
‘Cause you met one guy who couldn’t go the distance
When you tried folding Ghetsis, he had your life in his palms
Shit, the warmest welcome you ever got was fuckin’ icicle shards
 
Rosa (2:00):
My Triple Battles are something you couldn’t triumph in
If I beat you thrice, you would go straight to retirement!
Fans and your calories, oh how they were burnt out
After you hit it big, it didn’t work out

Even in Smash, you still stay on the ground
Must be ‘cause all your insecurities are weighing you down!
Nintendo - threw in the towel and put your franchise through hell
The only time a Trophy never ends up back on the shelves! (Yeah!)

Little Mac vs Rosa. SIR Rap Battles Season 3 (ft. DillyDally & Aji)

Moxxie : Moash Bolt
Dr Flug : Kamren

Blitzo : Ego
Millie : Toodlesthemaid
Black Hat : Dboy
Demencia : Kat Toony

Written by Dboy 
Additional help from Kamren
Beat Prod : VANNN
Mixed/Mixing : Jort
Custom "RAP BATTLE" Logo: Jort

Moxxie :
Oh crumbs... What is this, Paperbag Man’s second cousin?
Huh? (I'm confused)- He’s got clones of his boss in the dozens?
Not sure that we even properly match in this matchup 
I’m professional, your crew kills by being consistent fuck-ups
I’ve read your resume, although I do have some notes
Notably that your “Villainous” acts? They’re nothing to boast
Defeated some scrawny supers, and your ads- nobody hears those!
I understand why your company has problems… with- heroes. (Shit!- Wait- um-)
Blades n’ bullets, explosions n’ death rays, marksman Imp V Brainiac with no skill grade
Keeping company with my lovely honey, I'm the only worker here seeing a payday
Organized organization, yet when facing threats, the doctor hides, silent
Miss Heed had the right idea, we’re simply interested in other clients

Dr Flug :
O-oh! I wasn't expecting a guest today, my apologies
Buuuut I expected an assassin, not, um, w-well
A pistol wielding baby with a possum-like physiology
I may not be from deep-down there, but I can raise hell
Experimenting for the dastardly, devious schemes and cruel machinations
Inject a specimen with cursed concoction, you get injected on a daily basis
Black Hat, that's the organization, IMP, just a speck in the dustbin
Further testing must be collected on this rodent with no family left to trust him
Heard your wife is pregnant, honestly? I'm quite surprised 
Didn't peg you for a family man, good thing Mille’s got your behind
You stay stuck with a bad boss, this pervert- he should be ashamed
It took 2 seasons, you're still a plot device for him, all the same

Moxxie, Millie & Blitzo :
W-Well you- you, um…FUCK, I'm panicking
Aw, c'mon sweetie, this scientist he's an easy kill 
Listen Mox, this bitch gets rocked easily, so keep rambling 
Fuck UP the bagheaded bitch, show off how he’s unskilled (Y-yes sir!)

Dr Flug, Demencia & Black Hat : 
Bleeeehhhh! This songs boring! C'mon, fight, Throw a punch, nerd! 
Wh- Demencia?!? Get out- (FLUG!) Slay this vermin or your deaths assured
If this is what passes for demons these days, I'm disappointed
Soon as Flug is done, all we’ll need is a mortuary appointment 

Moxxie : 
Alright-! listen here you mad scientist charlatan
Make something new to do your job for you, cause you're incompetent
Id say give us a call, but I don't believe were required
Network pulled its own plug, tough luck, now hit the bricks, you’re fired
Quite rude to list off my flaws, Flug was it? I'm unimpressed
Guess it's outta the bag that you're just a villain because you're a reject 
Grudge against a Goldheart, Heed dodged the failure and you left her to rot
Pardon me, but FUCK you, say goodnight to the bad guy via buckshot

Dr Flug :
And just when I thought I had someone new I could relate too
This pathetic imp threw a tantrum, well- scratch that, a few
Looks like crimson red flags run in the family, like your lack of a spine
How’d Millie end up with you? You both caved in to the “Chaz Time”
My pilot took off soaring, you were lucky to even get off the ground
This independent animated imbecile… well he came crashing down
DEMENCIA! (Yea?) Add the imp to my “Incompetent Evildoers” folder
As you end up another crossover that the Black Hat Organization took over!

Moxxie vs Dr.Flug - Rap Battle

Contradiction

Official SoundCloud for PowerPoint Rap Battles