LYRICS

D.B. Cooper:
I’ve got a verse here, so for my opening
I request a cigarette, as I’m about to smoke this kid
You’ve got windows making your crew all head to depression
I’ve got Bond-style escape plans; 00-727
D.B. Cooper, I drop bombs a plenty 
against T.V. bloopers, average emcees
This washup would fit with the rest of my bundles of dollars
Know that I go for the throat, remind you of your father?

Dead Bart:
Were you trying to impress me? You should know I’m good at breakthroughs
I’m jumpin’ on this beat like it was your escape route
This dude couldn’t even see the better choice for a main ‘chute
So I’ll be eating up this track like “what’s the deal with airplane food?”
I left Matt Groening crying when he read up on my story
You left the plane when the flight got a little too boring
And I thought I was the sitcom, but when I look at this loser
He looks less like Dan and more like Sheldon Cooper
Facin’ off with Dead Bart, now your heartbeat might stop
This sketch’s sketchy headshot went up for a high cost
But your body’s most likely outlined with white chalk
Now FOX’s best son’s stealing Zodiac Earhart’s time slot
You hit the runway and still, no one knows what your name is
I hit the runway and my face instantly became famous
Even with a rainstorm, I still got colder bars in this fight
So take your leave and take a leap into the dark of the night

D.B. Cooper:
I thought the Simpsons’ could drop bars, but it’s clear you can’t battle me
When your rapping’s more barebones than your family
And you wrote down all the tropes you decided to ride on
Then turned the creepypasta genre to the Squidward Suicide Squad
Keep this bank noted as I’m crushing this duel
Even my blank motive has more substance than you
Leave the tank loaded and get the show on the road
And when I’m flowing, know that I’m holding a grudge in this feud
The Nightmare at 20,000 Feet, towering over your treehouse
Thinking this D.B. beef is gonna leave me beat? How?
I’m hijacking this win, as you’re left shaking and crying 
Leaving you like my legacy - radio silent

Dead Bart:
Traveling on Northwest, yet your plan still went south
Go eat my shorts, man, open the stairwell and step out
And make like your exit and drop this fight
Chalk your loss up as another prediction we’ve gotten right

CREDITS 

Swizkii as D.B. Cooper
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs4l43CoLWyUMdaWq9S_SKA
Shimario as Dead Bart
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsFyrvAhPhiEvJ1yL_Ux8MQ

Written by Rabi
Mixed and mastered by Freshy Kanal
https://soundcloud.com/freshy-kanal
Beat by Insanebeatz
Dead Bart art by 01Tyler10
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrIDPJLlnUFILYuS72fIc1g
Thumbnail by Rabi

D.B. Cooper vs. Dead Bart - Rap Battle

Trapped out of the rest of the world, these two powerful blue entities find an escape to reflect and duke it out in this episode of Quizzical Quarrels!

Snakebite126 as Jevil
JesseBoxVO as Lapis
garbageGothic as Peridot

Written by Quizzique

Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Beat prod. by Anywaywell
Arrangement and additional instrumentation by Quizzique

Art by 3ple
Thumbnail by Quizzique

LYRICS:
 
Jevil:
Welcome, welcome, boisengirls, to this Crystal Gem’s poisoned world
You’ve unlocked the door, so now prepare to see chaos unfurled!
Round and round the carousel goes, you circle back to the barn you hang
You leave and come right back so often, I’d think you’d ran on Boomerang

Fusion’s leaving you out of sorts, dealing with trauma since the divorce
So in your spare time, you now resort to mighty morphin’ some meaty morps
Not like me, of course, I’m thriving in my little freedom, something you were never shown
So you fought with those that kept you trapped in a mirror, then redeemed in a singular episode

It’s sad, sad that you’re looking so blue, your show’s run off the air like you’re back on the moon
I’m glad, glad your runtime got the boot, call you the farm when you’re torn from the roots
I’m mad, mad, you’re breaking my heart, you and Peri look like Homeworld: broken apart
You have, have a chance to restart, so perhaps for this battle, try not to depart


Lapis Lazuli:
So, this depressed jester from the Dark World thinks he dealt a verse?
Ask the giant tyrants I’ve defied, they’ll tell you I’ve felt worse
I helmed this cursed mirror within my gem’s grasp for thousands of years
So reflect on your defect of a story, I sure won’t drown in tears

You think I’m frightened of your suit attacks? I’m known to hit diamonds when up to the bat
I’d tear up this hack if he goes to a beach, they’re calling me Bob ‘cause I float on the beat

Peridot:
You should know to retreat when confronting the B team!

Lapis:
Even she can’t compare to the nonsense you’re speaking

Peridot:
Hey! Our bond is complex, that’s a smart thing to say

Lapis:
But at least my best friend didn’t lock me away!
You have claims of metamorphosis but no development to show

Peridot:
Lapis! Tell ‘em what you said when I asked if you even saw this secret boss! 

Lapis:
…No
Winning’s not within your cards, The FUN Gang made your levels fail
Won’t take the Garnet’s future vision to see the end of Jevilstail


Jevil:
Oh what fun, what fun! More games to play, with a new participant!
I hoped for a dating game, but I guess Ruby flew off with that ship!
Uee hee hee! You’ve got me like the Joker; in a laughing fit!
Yet I’m Revving up on this track so you can call me the Harlequin!

You can’t join my world! You seem more like Lars, how you cower away with your Clustered fears
You kids seeing stars? All your pleads and cries would put me to sleep for a hundred years!
Now, I won’t be the first jester to hit your series with an interjection
Want more screen time for your Future? Then return to your reflection


Lapis:
How does this thing work again?

Peridot:
Just press the button on the cartridge

Lapis:
Right, uhh…for the last time…I don’t. Want. Your garbage.
You think you saddened me? I felt more torn up by Camp Pining Hearts
I’d split you in two, but seems your mind and heart already declined apart

A numbers game? That plan’s dumb and lame. I can terraform worlds, don’t uphold your fight
You’ll lose those bids, and you call us kids?

Peridot:
You do know we’re centuries older, right?

Lapis:
This card shark’s under my control, and all his tricks are unregarded

Peridot:
Hey, and isn’t it ironic?

Lapis:
Yep, the joker got discarded

Lapis Lazuli vs Jevil - QUIZZICAL QUARRELS #8 (ft. Snakebite126, JesseBoxVO & garbageGothic)

Matt Raichous as Scooby-Doo
Clever Chaos as Garfield
Mixed by Near
Beat: Curtains by Dansonn
Written by EatMoPizza and Matt Raichous
Art by EatMoPizza

Lyrics:

I knew I’d have to deal with some creepy freak again
But I see you’re no ghost; you’re not dead, just deadpan
You act so lifeless in every one of your strips
I’d be more frightened by your creepypastas than your quips

Sleuthin’s top dog ’gainst the top lasagna hog 
Not a proper icon, just a bulbous-eyed con
Memes and merchandise are the only things keeping you known
Clinging to your relevance like a plushie in the window

Should have sent Odie instead to get a fairer bout
Even I’d lose my appetite when selling out to Paramount
You’ve got no appeal with the newer generations
While I’m known across the nation as CN’s spooky sensation


This ain’t a hydrant, so quit taking the piss
You’re not solving mysteries, you’re playing coppers with some kids
So don’t drag this onto my street, I’ve got the shots to end ya
Though I’d say you dodged a bullet getting dropped off at Velma

Listen, I’ve lead a lengthy legacy of lethargy
but even speeding on all fours you won’t get a leg up on me
When you tend to flee, screaming at each feeble phony freak
Chop you into five puppies, you’re running like Air Buddies
 
While I’ve been livin’ large since I hit papers the seventies
Get more laughs in my sleep than you running on ABC
Clueless mutt, ya really think you’re ranking up there with the greats?
Looks like the weak’s about to start again; I hate this Mun-Dane


With each new iteration, you fail to appeal
This fat cat stacks cash like our monsters are real
With your creepy CG incomplete, we’re learning it’s true
That every single new creator is just as lazy as you


Like Nicky Flowers in a battle, ‘cause I’m ranking at the highest
While you’re stuck pushing up daisies, disappear like Garfield Minus
‘Cause this tabby’s stuck in tabloids, I’m a prime time pup
Sitting in your recliner’s the only time you get a leg up

On the air for half a century, catching criminals with ease
Grabbing greedy grimalkins with speed Garfield’s never seen
While the only thing this glutton’s ever caught’s a couple Z’s
But tonight you’ll get some exercise running away from me


HB barely bears a name this day and age
Talking down about my shows like your reboot’s all the rage?
I’ll bash your straight to DVDs straight back to VHS
You hold onto relevance ‘bout as well as you do your girlfriends


It’s been decades since a single viewer called you groovy
Warner finds you so taxing that they’d write off a finished movie
But didja think that flick would top the box office at Christmas?
Please, a single Sunday paper would have been a bigger hit

Even spiders bother me less than to hear you spitting
This “timeless” classic’s dated, left wondering “Who’s S-s-scared?”
But I can answer what they’ve been asking since the beginning
“Scooby Doo, Where Are You?” To be true, no one cares.

Scooby-Doo vs Garfield - Verses Mode (ft. Matt Raichous and Clever Chaos)

Lyrics / Beat / Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1h6OcvFVeWh4NNBTc3uFJIyWyT9eOeyG59r7QRNtI2TI/edit?usp=sharing
Quizzique as Redd
Mancha as Spamton
Written by MetaMachine and GamingPlush64
Mixing by ENNWAY
Thumbnail by JK03
Beat by 2Deep
Hint for next battle: "Absented minded knuckleheads"

Spamton vs. Redd

Full battle on YouTube: https://youtu.be/XrRrCOoQIEA


Condiment King Verse 1

I was scared by this nefarious nuclear boy
But I mustard some courage after hearing his voice (ha!)

I cleverly conceptualized each crime I committed
While you’re powered by the sun and you’re still the most dim-witted (moron!)

My guns top this beef, while you’re acting pretty hammy
And you lost it ‘cause you couldn’t start a nuclear family

Man, you wished to have a girl after one look at her face
But you couldn’t even take her breath away when you took her to space


Nuclear Man Verse 1

(RAAA) Your love life’s not better than this
I will not even bother asking you where a woman is

You think brains beat brawn? Well I don’t care
But if what’s inside matters, I ignore your underwear

I generate heat like Venus (RAAA)
There is a big gap between us (RAAA)

Bigger than the ones that I made in Chinese wall
I am powerful god of the Sun like RAAAAAA


Condiment King Verse 2

My condiments earn compliments, I’m confident my consonants
Are competent, the consequence? I’m conquerin’ your common quips (woo!)

I’ll relish in glory, assert my dominance
You’re just the most forgotten villain novice in Metropolis


Nuclear Man Verse 2

(RAAA) I hurt people, and that includes you
(RAAA) You are a freako, like Luthor’s nephew

I will squeeze red out of you, and I do not mean ketchup
You will not even be healed by a mayo clinic checkup


Condiment King Verse 3

You act very strong, but your critics do better bashing
Since your foe fixed the wall just by… looking at it? (what?)

You have have Wolverine press-ons but aren’t sharp when you’re attackin’
Since you died and the cause was a nuclear reaction?

Wait scratch that, mad brat, weaker than the Pack Rat
At least he had a gat strapped when dealing with the black bat

And even he’s not that daft to be inside a shaft trapped
A packet of Tabasco would outmatch all of your wack raps


Nuclear Man Verse 3

You are pathetic, check my genetics
Strong and athletic, far from synthetic 

(RAAA) Win by more than a hair, you’re not strong
And I put the nuke in nuclear when I drop bombs

I threw, zapped, jumped on, and tossed rocks at Superman
(RAAA) Your head is not the only thing in pickle, stupid man

Nuclear Man rhymes get a radio active
With stronger flames than the one that put you in casket


Condiment King Verse 4

You’re powered up now, but your prototype was not impressing
You were stoner Scissorhands, (ick) and badly needed dressing (yikes)

You aren’t scary, you’re out cold without power
I’m the czar of sauerkraut, you're making the crowd sour


Nuclear Man Verse 4

Silence! Destroy Condiment King
But first I have fun, remove mind control thing

Let us see if Buddy Standler has more writing skill
I bet you are even less funny on your free will


Condiment King Verse 5

Wait, where am I? What am I doing?
Hey, aren’t you that villain from the 4th Rocky movie?

Or that Superman foe whose ratings were so low
He was non-renewable in comics? Well, gotta go


Nuclear Man Verse 5

(RAAA) Do not to try to run, my speed is supersonic
In more than one way I will destroy failed comic

You wasted my time so I knock your lights out
And…

► CREDITS: 

RaccoonBroVA as Nuclear Man

Matt Raichous as the Condiment King 

Pixel Chris as the Condiment King 

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Beat prod. by Simon Bates of the Audio Network

Mixed by Nikki

Cover Art by Taiga

Nuclear Man vs The Condiment King. PowerPoint Rap Battles

This is the last time I do anything for that fuck shimario

BobcatXtreme as J. Jonah Jameson
TaigaTonic as Benson
Writing by Alchemyking
Additional help by JoJoVo
Art by Teimunity
Beat by kulture.
Mixing by Jort
Cover art by Kamren the Person
Special thanks: Matt Raichous, WoodenHornets, MetaStarVA, J.G. Quintel, & Shimario

JJJ:
HOFFMAN! Get this gumball machine out my office!
Against the Jameson, he can’t recoup his losses
Ego so big, your head is bigger than Pops’ is
But I’ll show you who the boss is!

Let me get my pen and print a headline:
“Jameson Hits Deadline, Makes Moron Choke Because His Bars Are Eggcelent!”
In comparison, he’s stretched more thin than the Spider-Menace’s webbing is
So I’ll put my two cents in, then dispense of him!

Think you’re some kind of master at handling your temperament?
It’s obvious that Benson flips the second that some slackers leave him upstaged
PARKER! Snap some pictures of his red face
Then you’ll get paid, and I’ll put it on the front page

Such a cowardly hothead, you’d prolly get some chicken wings to eat
And down it all with some Mississippi Queen
And then you steal employees’ lunch when they’re already tired?
Sit down, please. …You’re fired.

Benson
Mordecai, Rigby! Don’t slack on the beat
I know that you hate picking up trash from the scene
But you’ll get a raise if you make like the vigilante he seethes at
And kick this dirtbag from the streets!

It’s plain as day, the way you slave your place is brutal
It just takes whistleblowers to shut down the Daily Bugle
Think they’re making stacks, then you drop stacks of files on ‘em
With that mug, you look like you’d go “Sieg Heil!” on ‘em

You’re losing this bout
Cause this time, it’s the gum that’s chewing you out
Your seed in the Big Apple is rotten, I’d say it’s rather obvious
You stretch people’s hands in your offices like Doctor Octopus

You’re the real villain, keeping teens hobblin’
And withholding pay so Peter keeps jobbin’
Your profits only go to your nicotine hobby
Yet you ended up smoked by a different Green Goblin

JJJ
I’m not Susan, but don’t mind if I copy 
‘Cause your own mug ain’t even fit to hold my coffee!
Spent your past playing hockey games and hitting on drums
It fits you turned from a badass to a stick in the mud

That dome head won’t protect you, even if your residence blasted off
Either way, I’d still be sonning this astronaut
And speaking of domes, you went nuts when you were shut in
So you have no right to snap when people push your buttons

Benson
I’m used to irregular shows, but it’s out of the ordinary
How a man with no heart can still suffer a coronary
Maybe it’s ‘cause you added to Spider-Man’s foes in the ring?
Honest, the way you treated Scorpion stings

You got me pissed off, banking off of fear and pain
I’ll go ballistic on you, leave a smear campaign
You wanna say my mug’s ugly? Your plans were for nothing
‘Cause it’s abundantly clear your wife can’t handle a mugging

J. Jonah Jameson vs. Benson - AK Rap Battles

Watch the battle on YouTube: https://youtu.be/-AS7ppwvFvA

► CREDITS:

Theme Park Avenue as Slope Dude

Luke Reardon as The Abominable Snowman

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Slope Dude Art by Valonide

Abominable Snowman Art by BMB

Beat Prod. by Diamond Style

Mixed by Nikki

Thumbnail by LimJJ

Slope Dude Vs The Abominable Snowman. PowerPoint Rap Battles

Undertale vs. The Stanley Parable - Royale Rap Battle!

TheMonarchy As The Narrator

King Ducky As Sans

Written by King Ducky & King Wallace

Art by M&Mattie

Mixed by Jort

Cover Art by Tompuffs

Prod. Anywaywell

The Narrator:
This is the story of a man named Sans he’s
A man shamed as he cant save family
But not to worry at least Sans's plan has been campaigned grandly? 
Haha! Pop the champagne Stanley

Sans really talks as if he can control the hand of Frisk
The alt Ness can't ctrl his tab at Grillbys while in massive debt!
Chara thought outside the box Sans granted them a stab at it
By sleeping on the job, fits all he asked for was a pass out fest

Sans:
Need advice on how to spit? Stay in your own lane
Take it step by step, it's basically your whole game 
The birds are singing, the flowers abloom
On days like these players like yours should get out of their rooms 

So uh… I miss something? Or did ya get a bit stunted
Ya get done in by skip button and tin bucket 
Kick it if your next verse is as unparable
Who would’ve guessed the button pusher pushed his buttons (ba dum tss)

The Narrator:
No more ba dum tss! 
That monotonous voice from a SpongeBob clip makes wringing you out on the top of my bucket list 
Just monsters in a pocket underground, well I’m on top of it!
The glutton couldn’t stomach Frisk, a ketchup stain was all that’s left

You just sit viewing the human's kills to not do them in?
You only lose your head once your brother loses his!
When you intend to do something you get hit then are through with it?
All behold the stupidest, ugliest, fattest being to exist!

Sans:
Stanley’s gone, you’ve crippled him, a disease in his own head
But all that’s needed to finish your shit show is schizo meds
You double down and grumble just to spout condescension 
But fall victim to a fall victim and lose out on your zending

From locked in the boss’s office suite to a broom closet sweeping him off his feet, both stopped his need for context constantly 
Wrong paths lead to long rants seems your story is hypocrisy
You talk of freedom but get awful mean when Stanley's off his leash

Sans vs. The Stanley Parable - Royale Rap Battle! [ft. TheMonarchy]

WARNING: This battle contains substance reference, as well as strong profanity. Listen at your own risk.

Welcome back to MC Fawful Rap Battles! Today, two ADHD vs Autism mentalities clash, with the rapper famous for the Wednesday saga of albums, Chris Webby, against… The Autism Creature? Look I couldn’t think of anything better, I had another TBH matchup but it just didn’t feel right. Uhhh, who will win? Will Christian come out as the highest in the room (that’s his song right)? Will TBH wow the audience? That’s for you to decide!

CREDITS:

Zander as Chris Webby (audio)
Ego as Chris Webby (video)

Kurobane Azia as TBH

Written by MC Fawful
Beat by Clinstrumentals
Mixed by jort
Art by Evrywunzf8vrit
Cover-art by JotaSeis
Special thanks to PotFork

Alright, I think that’s it; stay tuned for the next installment of MC Fawful Rap Battles!

Chris Webby vs The Autism Creature - Rap Battle!

Welcome back everyone today we have a battle between two masters of disaster and chaos , on the left corner we have the looniest tune the talk of the town lately in animation communities, Acme’s number one client and on the right corner, you’ve seen him and you’ve followed his orders , he’s always there ready for road-trips and always willing to signal the warnings, that’s right it’s Caution Guy , who will win stick around to find out 

- the Thinker 

CAST: 
ego as Wile E. Coyote 
GreenOwl as Caution Guy 

CREW: 
Written by WeThink 
Art by EatMoPizza & Trav Shark 
CoverArt by WHOZPHANTOM 
Mixed by Zagranis 
Special thanks to : Theme Park Avenue 

Lyrics:

*Bomb will explode in 3…2…1* 


Wil E Coyote 
Huh…it didn’t explode, sigh, what a waste 
But this will certainly blow up in your face 
I’ve seen you around never took you for a rapper 
Take it one step further, never took you for a character 

Always preaching the rules this stickman is a stickler 
Funny how even myself is better at painting a picture 
And believe me you don’t wanna draw gainst a toon 
And if I let you touch the track I bet it’ll go KABOOM!

Caution Guy: 
On every road across the globe, I uphold a noble purpose 
While the only law your validate, is if we talking Murphy’s 
Spend half a century trying to hunt with no improvement 
Why eat the bird when you have so much beef with Newton (huh) 

Phone it with ACME. They’ve put you thru ringer 
You could meet your maker. He’d give you the finger 
And you got the movie greenlit? That is impressive now 
All you had to do was become the mascot of a  Twitter crowd 

Wile E Coyote: 
Preaching your importance man, ain’t really a smart move 
As the only place you actually matter is the bathroom 
C’mon wiseguy even I find a better use for signs (Aight) 
You’re cat-like but this pussy has more than nine lives 

And what is the deal with those lines you shoe in 
Yet again you’re the perfect example of what not to do , kid 
On the track I’m fast and furry-ous better wear your safety belt 
But much like it’s custom, you just can’t save yourself 

Caution Guy: 
Whatever man, I don’t believe what you’re imposing 
Cuz I was the Fall Guy way before Ryan Gosling 
While you’re the mutt , the butt of every joke (ouch) 
Shocked when I hand you the mic it doesn’t fucking explode 

This is just another time you fall flat dude 
Sad that your claim to fame was chasing fast food 
Jones’s legacy’s been Chucked now you’re a falling hazard 
Caution: (that’s all folks) Dead end ahead for this jackass

Wile E. Coyote vs Caution Guy ft. ego & iGreenOwl

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Nuclear Man vs The Condiment King. PowerPoint Rap Battles

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