Reginald Tetra (Cemetery Mary) VS The Elephant Man (Camp Here & There) - Rap Battles of Whatever

PLAY CEMETERY MARY!!! AND LISTEN TO CAMP HERE & THERE!!!! because there are spoilers here GUURRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quizzique as Reginald Tetra
M!CAH as The Elephant Man
Writing by Rosenthal
Additional Help by AlchemyKing, ThanosQuack, A Trash Artist
Art by Rosenthal
Mixed by Trakked 
Beat by ToneJonez
Special thanks to Mayfield & Belov, ArcadeKitten, garbageGothic, AlchemyKing, and the rest of the Maryheads!

0:00

Rap Battles of Whatever! Reginald Tetra VS The Elephant Man! Begin!

Reginald Tetra (0:18)

(Ahem…) Welcome, pleasure t’have met ya
I’m Reginald Tetra, and I couldn’t help but notice your poor sense of direction
See, the cemetery’s the next stop
For a rotten corpse like you, I could tell from the smell of your stench (Ugh)
So let me address the man in the room
Or rather, the elephant man harassing the youth
With how you're dressing yourself, the only magic in you
Was Sydney’s vanishing act that turned the camp to a coup (*Chuckles*)
Don’t masquerade as a prophet
With the simplest visions you make, it’s obvious that people leave you blamed for exhaustion
Though, you’d only steal glances when you break in to rob them
You got some screws loose, so let me put the nails in your coffin

The Elephant Man (0:55) 

Amen! Cease the prayers and the praise, friends!
Your game had acclaim, yes, but you just put the ‘claim’ in!
For this man? He lies! (Ha!) It makes sense for a ‘lay’man!
His fake talk of a dayjob gets paid off with a raincheck! (*Chuckles*)
Said you make coffins? (Well, well…) That’s a new excuse!
Once I’m through with you, (Hahahaha!) I can do that too…
Stupid fool, (Blasphemy!) and with every single route to choose
Time and time again, (Why!) you just end up out the loop! (No!)
They can’t uncover the Blackwood Butcher,
‘Cause you just hide the skeletons in your closet with rats in your cupboard,
And it seems you’re not the careful type, much like how that chair is tied
Your alibi’s not airtight, so-

Reginald Tetra (1:32)

Don’t you even dare of trying-
-To worm into heads with the worms in your mouth when you talk!

The Elephant Man (1:35)

You cut tongues, maybe consider your own? Just a thought.
Left in the dark so much, you’d fit as cabin doctor, no?

Reginald Tetra (1:41)

That cabin going dark is nothing to a Blackout Hospital
Vile, with one look you'd knock my lights out
But you're such a child, you'd get shook once the light's out
And I’m surprised how Sydney believes all the things you speak
‘Cause he only ever listens to you in his sleep.

The Elephant Man (1:57)

This isn’t fair to me! You barely know what caring means!
One night, you’re taking Mary in as charity, and when she finds the hair you keep
She’s too scared to scream because you’re there, it seems
You’re not just her doctor, you’re the reason she’s in therapy!

Reginald Tetra (2:10) 

Well, if you wanna get with a medic, then let this be your appointment,
You took toys from the kids and Sydney’s feelings to toy with
So they practised defense, but this bastard can’t get it
All your ideals aren’t grounded - now that’s astral projection!
Wanted a life with the dead guy? (Ugh!) You’re highly possessive!
Sent threats to find him, but you got the wrong kind of ‘director’!
Ever since then, you’ve been mentally backwards
Got a taste of your own medicine, and you still can’t reflect on your actions!

The Elephant Man (2:33)

I’m backwards? Your cold case is littered with antifreeze!
So toxic, explains the way that you’re treating your family!
Escaped the law in your plot, ‘cause you weren’t part of it!
You can’t pass bars to get to the conflict between Congress and Parliament!
I don’t know why you sound amused when expanding tombs,
Under the surface, you already got lots of ground to lose!
You hurt your love with Mary, now it’s down there too!
Your fans were shippers of a dead romance, now they’ll worship our muse! (Hahahahaha!)

Outro (2:58)

Reginald Tetra VS The Elephant Man - Rap Battles of Whatever

Matt Raichous as Scooby-Doo
Clever Chaos as Garfield
Mixed by Near
Beat: Curtains by Dansonn
Written by EatMoPizza and Matt Raichous
Art by EatMoPizza

Lyrics:

I knew I’d have to deal with some creepy freak again
But I see you’re no ghost; you’re not dead, just deadpan
You act so lifeless in every one of your strips
I’d be more frightened by your creepypastas than your quips

Sleuthin’s top dog ’gainst the top lasagna hog 
Not a proper icon, just a bulbous-eyed con
Memes and merchandise are the only things keeping you known
Clinging to your relevance like a plushie in the window

Should have sent Odie instead to get a fairer bout
Even I’d lose my appetite when selling out to Paramount
You’ve got no appeal with the newer generations
While I’m known across the nation as CN’s spooky sensation


This ain’t a hydrant, so quit taking the piss
You’re not solving mysteries, you’re playing coppers with some kids
So don’t drag this onto my street, I’ve got the shots to end ya
Though I’d say you dodged a bullet getting dropped off at Velma

Listen, I’ve lead a lengthy legacy of lethargy
but even speeding on all fours you won’t get a leg up on me
When you tend to flee, screaming at each feeble phony freak
Chop you into five puppies, you’re running like Air Buddies
 
While I’ve been livin’ large since I hit papers the seventies
Get more laughs in my sleep than you running on ABC
Clueless mutt, ya really think you’re ranking up there with the greats?
Looks like the weak’s about to start again; I hate this Mun-Dane


With each new iteration, you fail to appeal
This fat cat stacks cash like our monsters are real
With your creepy CG incomplete, we’re learning it’s true
That every single new creator is just as lazy as you


Like Nicky Flowers in a battle, ‘cause I’m ranking at the highest
While you’re stuck pushing up daisies, disappear like Garfield Minus
‘Cause this tabby’s stuck in tabloids, I’m a prime time pup
Sitting in your recliner’s the only time you get a leg up

On the air for half a century, catching criminals with ease
Grabbing greedy grimalkins with speed Garfield’s never seen
While the only thing this glutton’s ever caught’s a couple Z’s
But tonight you’ll get some exercise running away from me


HB barely bears a name this day and age
Talking down about my shows like your reboot’s all the rage?
I’ll bash your straight to DVDs straight back to VHS
You hold onto relevance ‘bout as well as you do your girlfriends


It’s been decades since a single viewer called you groovy
Warner finds you so taxing that they’d write off a finished movie
But didja think that flick would top the box office at Christmas?
Please, a single Sunday paper would have been a bigger hit

Even spiders bother me less than to hear you spitting
This “timeless” classic’s dated, left wondering “Who’s S-s-scared?”
But I can answer what they’ve been asking since the beginning
“Scooby Doo, Where Are You?” To be true, no one cares.

Scooby-Doo vs Garfield - Verses Mode (ft. Matt Raichous and Clever Chaos)

I simply did this for fun, don't ask.

Shadow the hedgehog vs Muscle Man - Rap Off!

Shadow: Titanium1208
Muscle Man: CornCob7178 
Beat produced by: Lezter
Written by: CreeperPasta, CornCob7178 and box
Thumbnail by: CreeperPasta 
Art by: Tompuffs
Mixed by: box

Shadow:
You gotta be serious. This is my challenge? You gotta remember the monsters I've dismembered
The villains I've beaten... Green Eggs And Ham; your lifespan is about to be as short as your temper
I’ve seen better pranksters on YouTube. You and your crew knew I don’t fuck around with trolls
So stop the cap or I'll pop a cap on your tail before you start to rap. Heads gonna roll
Outrace me with a golf cart? (Ha!) This slobs dire…
Watch your entire front yard turn to a bonfire!
High-Five’s missing a finger, now thats in poor taste
You’re pals cause neither can even live up to your names
I’ve got more weapons than a war general
Got more green than that DAMN 4th chaos emerald
You live like a pig and behave like an asshole
Rigby changed his name, but you’re the real Trashboat
Speaking of such, what’s up with Starla? Big the Cat is smaller than her in comparison
You’re both alike, squealing and whinning like babies when you don’t get each others attention
It's not the first time a game boss leaves you smoked
Even if you try to win with your repetitive joke
The second your mom is dissed, you start to fit
Like The Hammer’s leg, Mitch should just drop the bit

Muscle Man: 
Yo Rigby! I think I found your emo cousin!
I tell you to make some sense/cents, but with so many ends in your game, this hogs worth nothing
You say I'm dirty, have you seen your fandom lately?
They're scaring away all the ladies!
But I'm not worried, I've got my Starla
Who do you have? Your own shoulder to cry on?
Oh no bro, watchu think you doin' with that strap? Take that away and don't bring it back
I can hear Linkin Park in the background. Tried to stay underground but that shit's wack
You're too slow, bro! Like a Pokémon I do not catch. Gun smoked that Maria pack. 
You low budget Mewtwo. Go back to Gerald to cry in your puny lab! Rat! 

Shadow:
Naming my lost ones? Careful or it might fire back. Ask Muscle Dad
At least that fraud died to a bear, you almost died chugging hot dogs, man
You don’t want this smoke, last time you shot fires you got skinned in the woods
So if you take it there, I’m taking it further- psssst, that’s something you don’t wanna do

Muscle Man:
I remember you was conflicted, but you went through a few changes, haven't you?
I'm not talking about super. You know who else got hoed by IDW?
You know who else has amnesia but can't forget the mistakes they have done?
You know who else says “Nothing personel, kid” and lets their friends die? My mom! 

Shadow:
No bars left? I'll shoot opps next. I don't need guns
Drop a bead on Pop's head? That's a bit fucked
Your pop's dead and your mom's next. That is real, son
Four punchlines full of lead, that's a Fist Pump
Like your family tree, this won't get beautiful
I hope you know a guy who can arrange your funeral
If I hear any more edgy jokes, I promise
I'll do you way worse than what you did to Thomas

Muscle Man:
You’re so ungrateful. If it wasn’t for the fans you wouldn’t be here today
You were created to save a life. Mariah would be ashamed of those you took away
Riding alone with your regrets, every chance he gets more repressed, and what for, brother?!
This ultimate waste of life form just got buried by a gardener 

Shadow the hedgehog vs Muscle Man-Rap Off! (ft. Titanium1208 & CornCob7178)

Watch the battle on YouTube: https://youtu.be/-AS7ppwvFvA

► CREDITS:

Theme Park Avenue as Slope Dude

Luke Reardon as The Abominable Snowman

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Slope Dude Art by Valonide

Abominable Snowman Art by BMB

Beat Prod. by Diamond Style

Mixed by Nikki

Thumbnail by LimJJ

Slope Dude Vs The Abominable Snowman. PowerPoint Rap Battles

Ego as Jake and Logan Paul
ForgottenSon as Mike Tyson
Written by: Ego
Beat by: Teimunity
Mixed by: Jordy
Cover Art by: Cidisswo


LYRICS:

[Jake Paul]
Hunnid grand, everyday bro, another bag
If it’s Tyson Imma fry him, ohio fried chicken, like the nugget brand
All your fans gon’ want they money back
Like the IRS, debt’s what you rack
Passed the competition, iron (i run) laps around mike, like i was Evan’ (a van/evan) id slap you)
How the fuck I on park south with a southpaw in a rap brawl
Need a better fuckin stance dawg, if you wanna dance, keep your pants on
Disneyland flow’s what you channel, but this shits about to get a lot worse
With the way you Neil deGrasse (kneel to grass) Tyson, turned the weed farm to a god church

[Mike Tyson]
Someone tell Jake he gonna need some insurance, cuz I’m gonna go for the throat
But like Logan Paul you ain't out of the woods yet, till after i show you the ropes
Corny ass Little Mac Lethal, I know that none of the shit that you got is your own
But fuck please forgive me, you’re not Eminem, you’re more like a “we got Jack Harlow at home”
(Ding ding) Hear the bell sound
Ain’t Dirk dares, but you scared now
Leave him sleeping on the floor like team 10
You the Walmart mr dream, kid
Beefing with a vegan, will be devastating
This the last mis-steak that you’ll be ever making
Like I’m Hearn, get this hearing settled, make it
Like I bit his ear, this shit is deaf-amation

[Logan Paul]
YOOOOOOOOOOO BROOOO U GOOD??? 

[Jake Paul]
Bro???

[Logan Paul]
Damn bruh I'm so glad you're okay, I thought you were done for…

[Jake Paul]
I’m down for the count, you must avenge me brother. This is so not litty… 

[Logan Paul]
Shh, second verse is coming SECOND VERSE!! 
LOGANG, can’t compete with this FLOW GAME, dab on haters 
Like a glass of joe shattered opponents you’ve faced with 
But ain’t beat him or those allegations ‼️
Old ass man, hope you got your prescriptions 
Iron mike nah you iron deficient (YUP)
Out your Prime, shit was limited time 
Now I’ll drop the mic, link in the description! (MAVERICK!)
Weed smell loud as fuck

[Jake Paul]
Is that ya boys cologne?
Lisp like cartman, if we catch you on park south “I’m going home”
Mama in the brothel, but addiction’s a hard pill to swallow

[Logan Paul]
Like you Can’t decide whether to hit your wife or hit the bott-

[Tiger]
*tiger eats logan* (AHHHHHHHH)

[Mike Tyson]
Thought I was down for the count, huh? Should know by now that you can’t do it
Got me thinking when you gon’ learn? same thing all your fans was asking with Edfluence
Now you creeping on kids, I hear
That’s not cool, your fans might get sick ideas
You ain’t got the sauce, lil Disney punk 
I like my bars dissy, bruh!
So “So sorry” ain't gonna cut it, keep talking dirty to me, Jake, I LOVE IT
Your whole career is a series of several severe and continuous lapses of judgment
Jake be nimble but he’ll never hold a candle
So keep throwing shade but you’ll never escape your brothers shadow

Jake Paul vs Mike Tyson - Ego Rap Battles

ZOUNDS! A RAP BATTLE?! What sorcery is this?!

JoJoVo as Sheriff North Star
Vanes as Zora Salazar
Writing by Alchemyking
Additional help by Rabi
Art by 3ple and TomPuffs
Beat by 2Deep
Beat arrangement and mixing by Serena
Cover art by LimJJ
Special thanks: Ego, Near, Acemusic, ExoticPurpleToast, Lee Bergantino, SIR Rap Battles, Brendan Blaber, MasterSwordRemix & the Undertale Yellow Team

Starlo:
Well, howdy! Welcome to the Wild East!
Let Sheriff North Star offer you some guidance, please!
Hold on, wait a sec… I don’t think that dial’s needed
How ‘bout you just duel me if it’s my time you’re seeking?
Let me see if I got this:
You’re a terrorist stopping people from flaunting power others would never get
But you’re inscribed too; what would you say when you’re left for dead?
“Well, uhm… I never thought they’d take my Epithet!”
Whimsical ass name… where’s the sorcerer at?
Instead, I see a beanpole I could throw horseshoes at
And phew! I’d say go back to your boss, but he’d pass on the spot
I thought a Bliss Ocean member would maybe actually wash
A measly forger with ties to the mafia
Left your gun like how I like my drinks: (yup) on the rocks
You’ll think you’ve won now, but when the time’s right
Your trophy will corrode - you actually took the pyrite

Zora:
This kid playing cowboy wants to mosey up?
Even Sheriff Bluster didn’t blow this much
You’re not a real outlaw, I don’t want to fight you
You’re so delusional, guess that’s a new meaning to “high noon”
Took up a role as leader so you wouldn’t have to ride home
But you ended up milking your gimmick like a pinecone
Eventually, your gang got too tired to fight (snooore)
You turned the Feisty Five into a nine-to-five
Bringing back bounties, but can’t bring home a missus (Ha-ha!)
What kind of shooting star can’t fulfill his wishes?
Chujin made you seclude yourself to go cry in your room
The person that you’ve locked up for the longest time is you! (Awwww…)

Starlo:
A pair of Banzai goons could do better Blasting
‘Cause you’re all tick-talk and no action
Dueling with North Star, shit’s going south
‘Cause I want you to spit sick, not spit in my mouth
At least my family ain’t six feet underneath
Paleontologists buried because they dug too deep
Tried to get over it, so that’s why you take crooks and leave them shot dead
But your powers can’t speed up the grieving process

Zora:
Clover must be lucky, it’s a wonder how you haven’t killed them
Turned a Blaster to a baby, while you’re sellin’ em to children
Think the games you brought ‘em will get your fame to blossom?
Buddy, cardboard props aren’t how you Train for Problems (Nope!)
Like how your childhood friend left without telling you
Roped in Clover ‘cause Ceroba left you out of the loop
Then you found her and couldn’t say, “Hey, more power to you!”
So she made you eat your words like it’s alphabet soup
Whether on Pacifist or Genocide, that kid lost their heart
And after a big confrontation, you bought the farm
Left with rubber rounds now, you’re fresh out of luck
Didn’t need to age you, ‘cause you’ve been left in the dust (*blow*)

Sheriff North Star vs. Zora Salazar - AK Rap Battles! (Undertale Yellow vs. Epithet Erased)

Recorded December 2024

Prod by KaalaH

gilg

I’M IN THE ASIAN CONTINEEEEEEEENT

I heard you got a long tail/tale
Imma grab and rip the spine attached if you gon bail
Talk smack but under the cover, you would rather run and flee from your crew
Yapping with no action, funnily your book is too

Yeah, I made this wannabe, ‘son’ is true
I was king first, you just Monkey See Monkey Do
But I guess that goes a bit of both ways, huh?
When you’re - BOW BOW BOW BOW - hit with the laser

But nah, I’m more of an axe thrower so if you stand closer
Taoist poem shit, splitting headache that make ya scalp sore
And that’s for damn sure if you’re disrespectful
You should be used to messed up temples

You ain’t even contendin
The Great Sage smoking great sage if you thinking that you’re equal to heaven
What I meant is, I’m saving the land from you, Sun
You know you can’t escape from these hands, like Buddha

sun

Woah there fella…
You’re a broken record, your own story’s split up
You’re a broken record how I do so much better- wait
I’M the broken record. I keep fighting tyrants, you’re not even worth the effort 

I wonder, is this guy the perfect ruler?
He sure does measure in height, but shortens futures
I fuck up festive nights, ain’t first to do it
You took em wedding brides, inserted grooming

Like, homie damn, I’m sporting the golden band
So it hurts thinking how you waste gold and bands
All for a statue honouring a fallen friend
He’s clay molded! Just use his corpse instead!

gil

Then I’ll take this stone monkey, be a stand-in or be shattered
I’ll honour Enkidu by teaching this beast manners
You’re ignorant to what pains your people
You see no, speak no, hear no evil

Grow up and get with the times, it’s not something you’d know of
You’ve been under a rock, Iraq’s what I’d rule over
From eating pills to scribbling on a page
Of course you’re immortal, this kid never had to age

sun + clones

Oh yeah? So Gramps couldn’t bear it like I did
For you, that’d mean, uh… forever-life crisis
But kick my ass? I’ll kick ya ten times back
Ask the clones, monkey’s known to throw shit like that (shit like that)

YO HOLD IT DOWN! Like what you told your pal
Before you found it cursed him to choke on bile
Recounting your old story’s wild.
How’d he really croak and die?
A load of bull is why

I’ll impart to you my wisdom and secrets
When I help you turn into a shit ton of pieces
They’ll find him fractured like the first time that they found his tragedy:
Evidence of a crowd of animals and catastrophe!


the last battle of my anti slump era and also the last battle of this little event thing. ive had gilgamesh vs sun wukong as an idea for a while, but never got to making it just because i had to think ahead when making battles and finding a middle eastern va was a whole thing i didnt want to deal with, which is fair enough i think. when i got the idea to write this as an anti slump battle, i got excited cause i love mythology and folklore and literature and shit, and i really wanted to implement more stuff i learned from battle rap not only writing-philosophy-wise but fun-reference-wise.

on that note, i based gil’s writing on not only diz’s aggressive story writing but sorta real sikh’s writing style too since ive recently become a big fan of sikh and his style. i based sun off of battlers like rone and pat stay, specifically their “rapping” style where they just have fun w rhymes and flow and vibe w it. i previously tried to apply battle rap style to my peacock battle, and i think this one is a good evolution of that.

i think this battle couldve easily had third verses since theres a lot of shit i didnt touch on both sides, but the beat doesnt rlly fit a longer length, and making long ambitious battles isn't really the goal for anti slump battles. i just wanted to write some fun shit to hone my writing without worrying about the stress of making serious stuff, and that mindset made the process much more enjoyable for me.

Gilgamesh VS Sun Wukong - 12 Bars of Dissmas

AdamDRB as Macbeth (audio)
RaccoonBroVA as Nixon, Gerald Ford and Witch 3 (cameo)
garbageGothic as Witch 1
Special Inquisitor Rayyan as Witch 2
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Additional writing help by Oofie, MaviKartal2003, YLFEthan and JK03
Chiseled by Jofinity 
Mixed by Serena
Beat by Anywaywell
Cover art by Oofie
Art by YLFEthan
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FOREWORD:
I wanted to upload this as a way to publicly preserve a project of mine I will most likely not be continuing. Macbeth vs Nixon was a battle I started working in late 2021-early 2022 back when I was taking both an English and History class in school, both of which covered Macbeth and Nixon respectively in great detail. I thought these people were really interesting and felt awesome to work on - two leaders who were corrupted by power and had their own actions lead to their downfall. 

The audio for it was done pretty quickly in 2022, and I wanted this to be a live action battle. I got Carrick aka RaccoonBroVA, who voiced Nixon, to body act as him also, and he filmed a great performance. Before playing Fred visually in Arthur vs Fred by Discord Rap Battles, Nixon was originally Carrick's first live action role; the first he ever filmed. The body actor for Macbeth unfortunately did not film as quickly in comparison, and eventually it got to a point where the battle kept aging the longer it took for filming to be complete. 

I decided to cut my losses in 2024 and ultimately scrap this project, as I didn't want to be weighed down by such an old project when I could be working on new ideas I'm more passionate about. This idea is still good, and maybe someday I'll get back to it, but for now it'll remain a relic of my earlier years as a rap battle creator.
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LYRICS: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oT26Dnw4oti0TKqfOdSuBoWw1P_gg375t_pdkCEy8vg/edit?usp=sharing

[SCRAPPED AUDIO] Macbeth vs Richard Nixon. SIR Rap Battles (ft. AdamDRB, RaccoonBroVA & More)

TheMonarchy as RGB
ZXY as Mr. Puzzles


Crew
Beat by Sinima Beats
Mixed by Trav Shark
Written by Trav Shark
Additional writing help by aepuns, AngelicWarrior, DJBalloonz, ZXY
Art by Trav Shark
Thumbnail by Trav Shark


RGB:
RGB here to bring the beat on your steel
I'm not here for a job, I'm just here to keep it real
Are you a monster? We're not on the same set 
Call you Michael Bay by pulling the same entertainment

Let's play chess, that’ll probably get you on
Considering you treat everyone as your little pawns
Never seen someone insecure to save face
Just to be a SMASH HIT on the picture box for they're taste

Your dad's right, you really have no creativity 
Your World of Make Believe is full of plagiarized activity
You're just the outlaw with the hell that you brought
Unlike the sheriff, you can only handle One-shot 

Now what kind of telly receives terrible reception?
Even after seeing flaws, he shows no redemption
Wanted someone Leggy, now that's a feet obsession 
Just stick to friending rocks if you want better acceptance


Mr. Puzzles:
Greetings, didn't see your name on the cast list
That's fine, cuz like attempts: you won't last this
Really got the rap keys to help you take the lead
Only to have the police come and give you a beat

Who needs heroes? I'm the only star on set
I have five of them, but it seems you're the “marked” object
Hero's got you hanging; anger's got her wrapped
But she's got the hole in her heart when the branch snapped

A swing of your cane and I'll cut your head
Better read the room, you're bleeding infrared
Peter Pan's gotten Negative; he's not the tougher man
Cuz the dreams he smoked are his acid trip to Neverland 

Got the stink eye from your lover with no confess
Even your short extension cord in her output can't impress
Got you binge watching on what you made as goners
You'll always be a scammer with how you Rob her


RGB:
Such a failure, you need people on lock strains
Why even make sense? all you do is rot brains
Seems the Sans really slipping through your very best
Cuz you're bound to this earth to never leave the Ness

You're only great with two roles: a TV and a fool
Unlike the dummy who's always cast as every animal
You're stuck in the past, you've let your amusement go
It's time to knock you off the air and end the Truman Show 

Here's the puzzle: is he someone we should fear? 
(Mr. Puzzles: What?)
Video killed this video star, it should be pretty clear 
(Mr. Puzzles: Wait that's not-)
Quarantined himself cuz his life already spiked
(Mr. Puzzles: Stop it)
So as he's flipping the channels, I'll be flipping the mic
(Mr. Puzzles: ENOUGH!)


Mr. Puzzles:
Why'd you stop? My opponent got cold feet?
Or maybe I'm one of his nightmares on full screen
Maybe if he achieves his goal, he'll let us be
Until then, he's only headlining for LSD

To me, you're the worst one and just lack a fight
Don't take my word, you said it in black and white
Everyone thinks your worthless when you walk on the street
Maybe eat some iron to burn off that acting degree

The screen’s cut to black, it's time to Dial back
Had lots of fun, but your mic hates your vile rap
With all the beating you take that get you rough dry
We should really do this again sometime

Mr. Puzzles vs. RGB ft. TheMonarchy & ZXY

Jack Horner • Verse 1: (16 Bars)

Huh, when I heard the news, I thought they weren’t serious 
A whiny self entitled brat is the one that I’m dealing with?
Welp, doesn’t matter, you’ll be coping soon!
An object treating others like their objects will be perfect for my trophy room!

Honestly, kid, we aren’t so different, truth be told
Neglectful parents and CLEARLY the best ones on the show
And I do feel bad you had to go through that misgendering 
I don’t see why they’d censored when there’s nothing there for censoring!

(JACK!) What? I’ve been a menace! (HA!) What took so long, BITCH?! 
Boss (uh) Timing (Uh) I’ve been (UH) ON! (YUH)
I’m always coming better dressed, my reign of fits won’t stop
Don’t need your crocodile tears, with all this DRIP, I’VE, GOT!

(HA-HA!) I’M COOKING! And the pies aren’t even ready
Only times you’ve ever eat is when you chug roaches or jelly *retch?!*
*BARRFFF* Oughyeesh, can someone come and bag her awful face?
…Right, and the vomit too! Both of which are toxic waste! (AHAHAHA!)

Heather • Verse 1: (12 Bars)

(Ugh) You’re disgusting, but if you want to talk hard
I’m ready to annihilate the totem pole of Farquaad’s
I had to deal with nerds and geeks like you for fifty seasons
You’re weaker than Leshawna, I think I can take your beatings!

What’s with the slop you and your minions have been advertising? (EW.)
You somehow made it look like Chef’s food is more appetizing (Right)
I think I’ll pass, go stick your thumb in your-ACTUALLY!
He’s only making pies as he’s more lifeless than his factories!

I- Zip it, Beth (aww..) I thought I told you that I spit the best
I just thought you’d want his wig, it compliments your balding- AHHH!
(Ugh) She’s a troll…at least she can keep that secret
But what else is new? Another pussy left you beaten

Jack Horner • Verse 2: (8 Bars)

Now hold it, sis! (OOH!) I don’t know why you claim you’re even strong (YEAH!)
I beat the little bears, you got belittled by a blonde 
You let her talk down on you, but you’ll fight with Leshawna fine?
The only “drama” here is the island filled up with stereotypes

You aren’t fit for the role of villain, you amateur!
The insults you’ve batted at me are duller than Excalibur
At least I’m not as bad as Chris or the things that he thought up
The only prize he ever left you keep was “Total Trauma!” (OH YEAAAAAH!)

Heather • Verse 2: (8 Bars)

“Not as bad as Chris” Um, hello? Are you INSANE?!
You treat everyone around you like their pawns in some sick game that you created
Don’t you get why the both of you are so hated?
You can’t get your head out of the cloud because your ego’s so inflated!!!

I’m a queen! You’re beneath me! (CRAWL!)
I hope it shows that you drop dead when you look in that crystal ball
You’re an annoying selfish crybaby, go die in a ditch!
Now everybody knows that Jack is a B I T C- *poof!*

Well, that was weird.

(SCRAPPED DEMO) Jack Horner vs. Heather

Reupload. Last upload got taken down and my appeal didn't go through.

Azia as Peridot
Lil Secks as The Flatwoods Monster

Peridot:

*ahem* Here’s the drill, you corrupted cryptid
I’m sure to leave a burnt metallic odor inflicted
On this twisted thing so it can’t cause humans harm
By removing this clodpated owl from my barn!
*Peridot grumbling noises* Not a stretch to erect you defective
When even your very permanence comes into question
When Pumpkin warned me of a danger - I assumed it would be that
Not a Braxton brat left like his name and fame - Flat!


The Flatwoods Monster:

Is your win’s existence evident? Let’s gather the evidence
You drone on more than those that defend your residence
Homeworld’s logic is astounding - they’ve made an Era 2
I’ll be taking Lapis out of your life - you’re feeling blue
Shud a Lil’ Butler step up in this bout
I’ll prove you’re not unique - I cast the shadow of a doubt
Staring sadly at the figure your irate dog ate
While your Campy Pining Heart couldn’t even keep a Log Date

Peridot:

I don’t think my Message was Received, judging by your torment
You just keep spitting things that get flushed down the toilet
The point is - I’m prevailing in this verbal Gem War
So I order you to get out my dimension, 10 4?
You’d like a Log Date, wouldn’t ya? Got a thing for tree trunks
But now the Flatwoods Monster’s unable to touch stumps
*NYEHEHEH!* That Will Be All, you Flatwoods clod
There will be no escape pod when displayed as a fraud

The Flatwoods Monster:

Towering over this Mistake, like my name was Yellow Diamond
When I’m spitting fire balls to leave this Breakfast Friend Crying
Don’t get con-fused, prude, when you’re blacked out and and caked in goo
I sighted Doritos and Mountain Dew fused, it was you!
Step out of your Uni-verse and face me in tangibility
For I shall spare this Clusterf*** due to her lack of ability
So you can save your “wow, thanks” and your feeble skills from Steven
Before I leave you and this battle cut clean like cleavage..

Peridot vs The Flatwoods Monster (2020) - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

Official SoundCloud for PowerPoint Rap Battles