thank u for having me on this i love this song

https://soundcloud.com/irby314

https://soundcloud.com/decksmusic


you said it too many times 
to everybody else it’s got no meaning left 
I don’t wanna close the distance 
I just wanna close my eyes until I can’t see 
Nothing but the stars in the sky 
light pollution ruins every single sight every sight
living Midwest life on the east coast 
It’s gotten old at this point I don’t hold it close 
I’m unabashedly bashing my own head in 
want something new I’ve got no answers left in 
I’m unabashedly lashing out in spite then 
what’s left to do that’s not over stretchin
I’m not accepting this 

(Decks)
i’ve been having a hard time adjustin
i don’t want it to amount to nothin
you unravel the spite and corruption
i know im stuck, whats the point in reduction
i, been holding on
nothing falling past the point
i took too long
i saw the problem with the story
all along
i wouldn’t have done that if i knew
how i was ending up
why? a troubled thought
gotta leave this fuckin town
i been here too long
if i heard what u had said
i wouldn’t be movin on
all the stars are burning out,
all my wishes gone
its far too often
my conscience
makes me regret the topic
i’m too anxious
over nothin
is this why im still stuck here?

murder the man but not the memory
east coast, now i know thats where they’ll bury me
far along the shoreline
i cant sit and waste my time x2


I just wanna close my eyes until I can’t see 
Nothing but the stars in the sky 
light pollution ruins every single sight every sight
living Midwest life on the east coast 
It’s gotten old at this point I don’t hold it close 
I’m unabashedly bashing my own head in 
want something new I’ve got no answers left in 
I’m unabashedly lashing out in spite then 
what’s left to do that’s not over stretchin
I’m not accepting this

unabashedly bashing my head in ft. decks (Irby)

had another dream last night
that i was runnin' away from a monster
and that monster was me
it had my cold dead corpse 
hangin' from its teeth
when finally i met the reaper beggin on my knees

take me away rn!
take me away rn!
i dont even wanna try
to make things alright

cuz i dont really give af about myself
in fact im always wishin that i could just be someone else
think id be better off locked up in a cell
i think id rather that
than being trapped in this hell

they used to tell me its a phase
but i still hate my own face...

take me away rn!
take me away rn!
i dont even wanna try
to make things alright

i dont wanna try
ive never been alright
i dont wanna try
ive never been alright!!!

take me away rn! [+gaxillic]

Produced by @irby314 & @jolst
Mixed by @decksmusic
Additional vocals by @prodhorosha
Mastered by Bryan Shortell @shordeli

LYRICS
Wounded at a young age
Had nobody I could turn to
It’s sickening the things you did
And how I learned through
The example you set
I thought I was a black sheep
Turns out I’m just like the rest

Of my family tree
Rotting from the inside
Branches devoid of leaves
So please
Don’t ever idolize me
These eyes have seen more pain than you would believe

I’ve got a damaged brain
There’s not much can be done
After all I’m just a product
I’m my father’s son
I can’t cope with this all on my own
I kill myself slow
Insisting all the while I’m not suicidal
It’s hard to match expectations I put on myself
I took a step
I took two steps back
How will I know when it’s bad enough to need help
I thought I was a black sheep
Turns out I’m just like

My dear old dad
He was the man of the house
He wasn't often around
Guess what that makes me now
As if the world’s against me
I only rely on myself
Turns out I’m somebody else

Listen on Spotify!

Black Sheep (Prod. irby & Jolst)

prod. tracyxo x joshbae

see me blowing rainbows
i dont care bout you hoes
im on my ten toes
ran around this dome
(if we're talking bout it,)

i dont give no shit about a ciggarette pack
i dont care about frozen time
uh huh?
i dont care about golden why?'s
uh huh
this shit bothers me
i dont wanna deal with the shit in my head
i just wanna smoke white runtz till im dead
thoughts come up from the bottom of my mind
aye, i gotta climb back up, i gotta wake up
i dont wanna be late!
i dont know what to say :(
i dont wanna be anyone i try and replicate
5:00 am, waste of time, oh my god..
6:00 am, and im tired as fuck

it still wont wake me up
thc in my gut
faded or nothing bruh
this preroll is all for us
we're living like we're still dumb
who am i kidding?
no one does it better than you.
no one will bother me anymore
dont lie
dont try
dont cry to me anymore
i painted the walls exactly like i wanted to
the stripes i made were pink and blue for you
will you be okay..?

(you were only a momment away)

dont, even bother
coming back.
im sorry,
but im not.
I'M TIRED OF THIS COLD WAR!
I'M TRYNA HELP MYSELF AGAIN!
I'M TRYNA BE ANYONE

up,
i gotta wake up ')
DONT WANNA BE LATE
I DONT WANNA BE ANYONE I TRY TO REPLICATE
FIVE AM WASTE OF TIME OH MY GOD
SIX AM AND IM TIRED AS FUCK
AND DONT WANNA WAKE UP.
ah...
ah...
can you run that by me once again :(?
ah..
ah
i dont know, how else i will-
(find some comfort in my home again)
THIS ROCKING CHAIR DONT FEEL THE SAME
THE PORTRAIT FELL AND SOMETHINGS CHANGED

the portrait fell, & something changed

prod king theata 
lyrics

me:
last song, so baby keep it playing
my mom been sick of all the playing
iv been playing the part for too long now
i don’t wanna go i just wanna leave my hometown

when i’m falling you don’t pick me up
when i’m calling you don’t pick up the phone

hated when i rolled up back then
and i never listened
i just wanna feel you smoke in my lungs
sorry for what happened
baby we were kids then, and iv always been on the run

like can i get up out the 864?
hate this town i don’t wanna live here no more
had me begging i was down on my knees begging please
don’t you walk right out of that door
when i’m falling you don’t pick me up
when i’m calling you don’t pick up my phone calls
you don’t pick up the phone x2

spooky: 
you called me a lost cause
then you turned your phone off
iv been in a state of paranoia, feel like a brick wall
you used to be someone i loved 
now you’re just someone i pissed off
you just call me the problem
baby who the fuck got you locked up
iv been waiting round for years for you to tell me i’m the only one
that shit was as real as a folk song
this feel like the last call, at the bar up on long hill
i moved to California but you’re probably there still, uh

i hope the last songs one that you can’t hear
i hope you drive safe ima just steer clear
and growing up is just a cut that you can’t heal
and i know we were kids but why did all of it feel real?
might need a coat, you’re just like a storm 
and the years ain’t kept me dry

last song w/ spookybands

lyrics

a long time ago there was hope in my eyes
but now i just see whats in front of me
n if im not awake can u open my eyes?
n try to make me wake up manually

and those boys on ur phone seem nice
but do they make you songs whenever they see u cry?
i swear on my life that im trying
just wait for july
theyll be lining up to hear me outside
theyll be lining up to hear me outside

stop talking if this bottles my last drink i wanna make it count
i seem to think better when theres no one around
all i need is a smoke and the sun down
then i can make you proud
kid dont want fame he wants the riches
his wife and not the bitches
drunken swashbuckler im singing to the fishes
n i know when i die no one will listen but the mrs.
like woah
i traded all my friends for some peace of mind
i cant go outside tonight im busy making rhymes
but u dont need to worry baby girl im fine
its just one of those nights

and those boys on ur phone seem nice
but do they make you songs whenever they see u cry?
i swear on my life that im trying
just wait for july
theyll be lining up to hear me outside
theyll be lining up to hear me outside

drunken sailors shanty (jacob vallen)

unfazed (drma x triazoondatrack)

look in the mirror who am i?
tryna be me, but i feel disguised
darken my face
hard to replace
fighting hard but my body just breaks

i remember the times
you were with him when you claimed to be mine
got me in a bad mood
fighting myself just to have you 

like that’s what i want
i wish i could have you
girls wanna have fun
guess you wanna have him too

fighting myself
meant what i said when i said go to hell
losing my mind get me outta my cell
some people told me but i never tell
what’s real or what’s fake
sealing my fate
breaking my body let it decay x2

cuz up in my head i’m enough
but when i’m with you, you’re not feeling my love
you put the knife in my back
so i put my drink in my cup

stuck in a haze
lie to my face when you said we won’t break up
so iv just been out on the run
hand on the trigger 
you’re pointing the gun

look in the mirror who am i?
tryna be me, but i feel disguised
darken my face
hard to replace
fighting hard but my body just breaks 

i remember the times
you were with him when you claimed to be mine
got me in a bad mood
fighting myself just to have you 

like that’s what i want
i wish i could have you
girls wanna have fun
guess you wanna have him too


fighting myself
meant what i said when i said go to hell
losing my mind get me outta my cell
some people told me but i never tell
what’s real or what’s fake

fighting myself

Thankyou once again to cobalt for the amazing beat <3 
Will maybe have one more song before Xmas if not everyone have a great Christmas and new year we can’t wait for the next love you all AIE🤎
Lyrics:

It’s been along time since I saw you smile in my arms 
Last night was a long ride and you didn’t talk much at all 
And I can see the pain right through your eyes
Baby don’t blame yourself it’ll be alright
Your old boyfriend made you the issue and that’s not right 


I won’t treat you like he did 
I can be just what you want 
We both you’ve been through a lot way too much
And it feels like your world is falling apart
No ones there with open arms 
All the bruises turn to scars
And you feel all the pain in your legs in your arms 
All the pain that excess from your heart
And you don’t recognise who you are 
Falling apart but nobody’s calling at all
But I’m right here right now
I know I don’t give the best advice at the best of times but it’ll be alright
I’m here if you wanna talk at all 
Im here if you want some company 
I’m not asking you to fall in love with me

its okay im sure things will get better (cobalt)

produced by cxrter & tahtx

lyrics:
(notahero)
heavy snow is pouring outside the window
u know exactly what u want in life
but i don’t know
but i’ll carry on
and i’ll love u if you're here or you're gone
i’ll find u thru the crowd
she don’t know i’m hurting cuz i barely make a sound
this hole i’ve dug so deep
i can’t see through out the ground
u can find me in the lost and found
christmas was never this cold
christmas was never this cold

(backyard beetle)
yeah
as the candle burns real low
the light begins to show
you may be gone but your presence still glows
feasting on fragments and memories of old
i live in a wasteland i ain't never seen the snow 
even then I can't help but feel it's so cold
cause all of my warmth came from you
what am i supposed to do 
when my systems shut down

(notahero)
christmas was never this cold
christmas was never this cold

cxrter, notahero, & backyard beetle - christmas was never this cold (prod. cxrter x tahtx)

catastrophe w/ Dear Me & Kellin Quinn

Chicagoland Producer 💜🖤🩶🤍 | 20 | 🧠♾️ @miserygxrden
(Prod.) Credits: @lilskeleskrrt @emofruits @autumndropsdead @lxstboymusic @lullabyboy

cxrter, notahero, & backyard beetle - christmas was never this cold (prod. cxrter x tahtx)

🥀 cxrter 🖤

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