i wanted to use my voice here but my it sucks and the melody reminds me of us in a sad way:(

thanks for listening<3 i hope you'll check out more of my music like this song.
this song + all my ambient tracks on my spotify playlist here
spotify version: open.spotify.com/playlist/4IB4U1ieSUcEor3LQkOAIy
soundcloud: soundcloud.com/tidecruz/sets/my-head-is-ambient

all my ambient songs

i was only temporary (Super Slowed)

Distribute your music on popular platforms such as Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube, Amazon, Deezer and many more! With our service, you can get your music on 150+ stores while retaining your rights and revenue. Sign up for free today on SpaceMedia.uk

Special message to SoundCloud Artists

Drivers License (Cover)

The reading of "I Understand My Grandmother Now" from PsychedelicThoughts.blog
---------------------------

4am
Who is this next to me?
This is not the one I wanted to love.

I reflect on yesterday.
Rude remarks,
Biting sarcasm,
Annoyance.
I hold myself together through the daggers to my heart.

He calls me condescending.
It was supposed to be a loving jest.
My gentle nature annoys him.

I joke, calling myself sweet.
He calls me bitter.
No trace of a smile on his face.

He was sweet and gentle at first.
Talking about cuddles, love, settling down.
Talk of only one woman for him.
Goals aligned, I am lured in.
I make the biggest mistake of my life.

One month goes by.
My sunlight melts away the facade.

So much bitterness and anger.
So cold and distant.
I receive only a trickle of kindness and affection.

He does not show me any affection.
He dreams of strippers and hookers.
Talks about other women.
Am I not good enough?!

He is like my father-
So much anger and bitterness.
All his words are now poison.
I become a small, afraid child again.
Hiding within myself from his words.

He is just like my father.
I grow quiet.
Retreating into myself for safety.
Afraid to speak, for I will be criticized and judged.
Harsh words rub my heart like steel wool.

He is my father.
Sadness wells up in my heart.
Why was I so stupid.
I want to go back.
I fucking hate my life, what have I done.

I lay on the couch, writing and crying.
Snoring coming from the bedroom.
I am safe, he cannot hear me.
Too concerned about himself to care.

I cry.
I write.
I compose myself.
Put on the mask.
Five months left.

***

If only I could go back in time.

I only left because I want a home.
I want to settle down, not constantly move.
My time is running out, I wanted to start a family with you.
I can’t wait ten years, it will be too late for me.
I’m growing old and tired.

I never had a place to call home.
A stable spot to make my own.
My painfully turbulent childhood makes me wish for stability.

I wish settling with me could’ve made you happy.
Your soul is young, wild, free.
Mine is old and tired.
I wish settling with me could’ve made you happy.

What a fucking mistake I made.
Too old and tired, I accept that I will never start a family.
Just like my grandmother,
I will die alone on my deathbed in a nursing home.
For I have forsaken the one that truly loved me.

I understand her now.
Wanting to die, waiting patiently for death to come.
Hoping and praying for death.
Begging God for the mercy of death.
For living alone with the burden of regret is too great to bear.

I understand her now.
Making mistake after mistake.
Trying to seek love when I already had it.
Looking in all the wrong places.
Being so gullible and easily led astray.

I feel her pain.
Regret weighing down my heart
Every 
Single
Waking 
Moment.

I have her pain.
Hoping and praying for death to come.
Patiently waiting for the day.
Wanting the sweet release from my burdens and regrets.
It’s too much to bear,
I can’t do it.

I can’t but I have to.
My poetry makes it easier to hear.
But it’s still so difficult.

I write my Magnum Opus.
That gives me some comfort.
Page one: My Last Will and Testament.

***

I am a squashed flower.
Trampled, petals broken.
There is no hope of blooming again.
Thankfully, my roots run deep.
I am still alive.

🎶 Credit: https://www.FesliyanStudios.com Background Music
🎶 Track 1: "Our Hopes and Dreams"
🎶 Track 2: "Emotional Regret"

I Understand My Grandmother Now

<center>Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- (2024) FullMovie
Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- (2024)
🎥𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇⭕► https://net-4flix.online/movie/1216221#510458 

1. Simply click on the blue link ↑ ↑ ↑
2. You will be redirect and enjoy the best...!!!
3. Follow the listed steps and Happy Watching...!!!

A compilation film featuring the eleventh episode of the Swordsmith Village Arc and the first episode of the Hashira Training Arc.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- Full Movie youtube 123Movies Watch

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- (2024) Movie Online Full Streaming at

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- Pelicula Completa

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- Koko elokuva

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- volledige film

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- film complet francais

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- hel film

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- plena filmo

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- ganzer film deutch

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- ceo film serbija

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- cely film zdarma

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- film completo doblado

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- completo italiano

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- free download mp4

Home 123Movies Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- 2024 MP4/720p 1080p

#fullmovie #movies2024 #moviepopular #movieupcoming</center>

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- (2024) FilmsComplets Mp4 All

The reading of "Bloom From Doom" from PsychedelicThoughts.blog
---------------------------

In order to bloom, you need to know doom. 
Know what hopelessness feels like. 
Know what it’s like to find the edge of the abyss, 
and willingly give yourself to it. 
For you are tired of fighting it.

When you are in the abyss you wrap yourself in cold darkness. 
You see no hope. No light. 
Life is lifeless. 
You are lifeless. 
You see negativity, you are filled with negativity, 
you become negativity. 

“What is the point?” You ask. 
Why work? 
Why fight? 
Why live? 
Why keep on going? 
“What is the point…” You say. 
You are filled with darkness.

Another mundane day. 
You do your daily duties, like a robot. 
Numb, going through the motions. 
Doing what is expected of you. 
For you do not have the energy for anything else.

As you unfeelingly go through the day. 
Our paths cross. 

I greet you and give you a warm smile. 
You feel something stir within you. 

Who is this? 
What is this feeling? 

“Hello, how are you?” I say. 
“Fine. How are you?” You flatly say. 
A response so automatic, you are surprised; caught off guard. 
That is not what you wanted to say. 

I talk about how beautiful today is. 
How I watched the sunrise this morning. 
I look… so happy talking about a boring sunrise. 

Who is this? 
Why is she so happy? 
“Why are you so happy about a sunrise?” You ask. 

“Because I get to experience another day on this wonderful planet.” I say. 

Is she fucking serious? 
This planet is garbage. 
Living here is awful. 
Everything sucks. 

You are overcome with anger. 
Who is this naive dumbass? 
“Why?!” You blurt out. 

“Because I live my life the way I want to.” I say. 

You look at me, flabbergasted. 
The fuck is that supposed to mean? 
People can’t just live the way they want to. 
What about work? Rent? Car? Groceries? 

“Yeah sure.” You say. “I wish I could do that 
but you eventually need to grow up and be an adult.” 

“I am.” I say with a smile. 
“I have a job I enjoy. It’s not high paying, 
but I love what I do and most of the people I work with. 
I have a roof over my head and food to eat. 
I have the freedom to do things I love, 
such as watching the sunrise. 
I have so much to be thankful for.” 

You feel tears welling up. 
How is she so happy? 
Why can’t I be happy? 
Tears fall. 

“I want to be happy.” You sob. 
Embarrassed to cry like this in front of a stranger. 

“What makes you happy?” You patiently ask. 

“I don’t know anymore.” 

“Then look within yourself and find your happiness. 
You are the only one that knows yourself. 
Society does not know you nor do they care about you. 
So do not listen to what society says. 
Find happiness within yourself. 
Live the way you want to.” 

As you finish wiping the tears off your face, you look up. 
I’m gone.

What happened that day?

You are sitting, watching the sunrise, reflecting. 
It’s been a few months. 
Life has improved. 
Yes, there are still moments of negativity and darkness. 
But light is growing and continues to grow. 

I planted a seed in your heart. 
And it bloomed. 

Now it is your turn. 
Plant a seed. 
Let it bloom.

🎶 Music used from https://www.FesliyanStudios.com

Bloom From Doom

Before You Go (Cover)

Psalm 103

I record my poetry and stories. You can use them for your own projects.  

Tracks labeled "[FREE Download, No Copyright, Royalty Free]" are available for commercial and noncommercial purposes. You are allowed to download, copy, distribute, remix, transform, and build upon these tracks. Credit must be given. (CC BY 4.0.0)

All other tracks are not available for use.

Email info@psychedelicthoughts.blog for questions share your remix of my tracks.

Bloom From Doom

Evo Numy

Related tracks