🕳️

ethel cain

lorn

music production by Jason Watson
written by Rivi Palomino

𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐬
face like kemper
no one would know
the kind of things you do for 
fun when you're alone

stare up at the ceiling
waitin' for you to come home
i guess i kinda loved ya
never saw you as a ghost

Kemper

Empire of the Dead

There comes a day you sneak out but you don’t go home
Where you’re out past the streetlights, running down the road and your daddy won’t know
And it hurts to grow up, when your knees are still cut
But for us, life’s never been without blood
Getting life’s cold goodbye wave from the dark of the driveway
Crying, i’m no good at goodbyes, so i leave it to the lights
Can you just tell me which way i’m driving
Interstate or the highway, i’m going, i’m ready
There comes a day you find out that you don’t wanna die
They’ll say it’s time you finally grew up, you’ve been gone for quite a whilе, but they’ll never ask you why,why
And thеy ask how it felt to suffocate myself
But not everything feels like something else
Getting life’s cold goodbye wave from the dark of the driveway
Crying, i’m no good at goodbyes, so i leave it to the lights, ohh
Can you just tell me which way i’m driving
Interstate or the highway, i’m going, i’m ready
20 til midnight at gas stations
Praying to a stranger’s dogs in the parking lot
I asked have i done enough for salvation
They said you’ll die if you leave it up to god
Said i’ve been drinking from this river til i bled it dry
But they looked me dead in my eyes and said
It doesn’t matter if the grass is greener on the other side
As long as it’s alive
So give it one last goodbye wave, in the light of the highway
Crying, i’m no good at goodbyes, but i’ve waited my whole life
So you just tell me which way i’m driving
Interstate or the highway, we’re going, we’re ready

Ethel Cain ~ Age of Delilah

See me in the stream, water to my knees
That's where i'm breathing, that's where i'm bleeding
Remember the eyes that want me to die
Moon is sharp like the edge of a knife

My legs in the water, I will not falter
The shape of a woman, the shape of the water
The shape of a woman, the shape of the water

See me on the screen, spread apart my knees
I'm always feeling, i'm always healing
Devil comes at night, rapes me in my dreams
He's always screaming, i'm always kneeling
Nobody will drown in the tears i've cried
I look at my knife think I want it to die

My legs in the water, I will not falter
The shape of a woman, the shape of the water
The shape of a woman, the shape of the water
The shape of the image, forgive me father
Was made in her image, the moon is my mother
The shape of the image, the moon is my mother

Vyva Melinkolya Feat. Hayden Anhedönia  ~ 222

Beauty is everything
But no man will ever know what that means
Only the woman who’s holding his hand
Will ever know the pit that grows inside of that man

He likes his clothes black, dinner packed
8 hour days and nights away from her
Same place, saving face for him

I feel like a preacher’s wife
Slaving every day and night
Making sure that he looks nice
For his children that I don’t share

Beauty is everything 
Even when it takes the piss from me
Even when he takes what he thinks is his inside me
I am beautiful and I am free, I am free

I feel like a preacher’s wife
Crying waiting up all night
But I’ll carry him and Jesus Christ
As long as he comes home to me

Ethel Cain ~ 8 Hour Days

אשמדאי 

the world's largest teapot

11-15 toothed leaves

i dropped this here cause i wanna listen to it

ethel cain - Ad Nauseam (Demo)

everything you said was wrong
everything you said was wrong

you don’t see me at all 
you only use me to cuM

you don’t know how to feel

cum machine (demo)

Hozomeen

Ethel Cain (אשמדאי) - 013 (Thatorchia Demo)

A soft clarity settles, the kind that comes when two people understand each other without words. The thoughts are no longer questions, but promises: “We’ll keep this safe. We won’t let go this time.” The past and present blend, creating something new—memories still to be made, together.

we’ll remember together

"Brand new ultra limited full length from Warmth, who really couldn't have chosen a more appropriate monicker, as the sounds here are indeed warm, dark, swirly, humid, shimmery, a drifting blackened dronescape of elongated tones, blurred melody, and smoldering low end. Not really dense or heavy or blown out, instead, the sounds are hushed, muted, dense and deep, barely there, a whirring whispery smear of sound, industrial but only slightly, machinelike, but simultaneously organic, a haunting otherworld of looped rumbles and layered clouds and swirls of melodic fragments, and constantly shifting textures, a warm, lush, soft noise, rife with what sound like field recordings, but could also be mechanical detritus, creaks, groans, clicks, even those sounds dialed way back, just another bit of hazy grit added to the already washed out sprawl of dreamlike ambient dronedrift.
Privacy From God is a strange hybrid of sounds that in other hands would be cranked up, doused in distortion and spewed from massive speakers, but Warmth take those same sounds and pull them apart into microscopic clusters of dreamy ambient minutae, soothing, surreal, softly undulating, hushed and looped expanses of near static, frozen in time, dreamdrone minimalism. So nice." - Aquarius Records 

You're Never More Yourself Than On The Day You Die

Aphex Twin-Xtal

Pulsewidth of Aphex Twin from Selected Ambient Works 85-92

the world's largest teapot

ᴡᴀx ᴡᴀɴᴇ