CAFFEINE BY 9ARADOX FEATURING COVEN 
PRODUCED BY 9ARADOX

CAFFEINE

CAFFEINE >_< + COVEN

prod. @zeromandia x ‪@d2s1‬
EDIT: im fucking crying bro my lisp in this is o badi m cdying i love this song sm but the lisp bro so embarrasing </3 guys dont hate me!

you're welcome everyone its a song NOT about a relationship, applause please!
(pre-intro or sum idk)
“—and do what they THINK i want... you're not ME. you don’t KNOW what I want. i want to do what I WANT to do, not what you THINK I want.”

(intro/chorus)
you don’t gotta get it right
you don’t even know me, ight?
i can tell i’m not ur type
“don’t fuck with shit u don’t like”
type.
i can tell i’m not your type
you can't read my lips, don’t try
you don’t get my lyrics

like, “what?” 

ask me what there is to get—
——set yourself up for failure 
right then.
u don’t gotta get it right
like?
you don’t get it, kay thats fine.
you don’t get it? you’ll be fine.

(verse)
all y’all try to tell me how i’m supposed to play the game
got me looking half insane
talking to myself, i’m strained, my voice is -

drowned out in the noises
you can’t hear my frequency so i would try to lower it
what’s the point?
fuck i quit.
 
you don’t know
tell me shit
you just wanna help by doing what you think i want
you don’t care about my thoughts
you don’t care about my truth
you just care about philosophies that only fit with you
fuck ur theory
cus i lived it.

(bridge)
said the bad will make the good
but i’ve had so many bad days
maybe i misunderstood?
but it really don’t feel that way…

(pre-chorus)
i want what i want for once
wanna make myself my own path
but i know if i fuck up
y’all will say i shoulda took my chance — when you tried to give it-
sorry that i took my life, and i tried to live it!
got me fucking livid
what’s the point of living?
give me an equation, i will spend the rest of my life trying make the solution make sense.
or maybe ill just stay dense!

(chorus pt.1)
ohh-
you don’t gotta get it right
you don’t even know me, ight?
i can tell i’m not ur type.

(outro/chorus pt.2)
don’t fuck with shit u don’t like, type.
i can tell im not your type
you can’t read my lips, don’t try
you don’t get my lyrics. like..?

what. 😐

you don’t get my lyrics.

like..?

i don’t need u 2 fw me. (@zeromandia x ‪@d2s1‬)

idk // @\nickspinal (og photographer)
lyrics --

id rather not have friends
cus what if they’re too kind to me
making up my mind.
tell me, is that fine?
i dont wanna fight myself 
but i cant hold a light
slipping thru my hands like time, its faster
i can’t run cant stand i’m tired

wired, tight around my wrists and chest

tell me what i did so wrong
why cant this be over yet?

tell me what i did so wrong
why cant this be over yet?

tell me what i did so wrong
tell me, sorry, i forget..

memory of a goldfish
left and overfed
floating at the top inside a tank
“is she really dead?”

you can stuff me full
ill take it all
so you know that i tried

one day, lie down with myself and i
“mom, did i do alright?”

(4 bar)

wanna tell me who ill be?
tell me all ‘bout my potential
do you still feel pity knowing that its all js theoretical?

i know who i am,
im living outside ecstasy
i dont need u to see me separately 
u wont believe im whole

you refuse to see the mess ive made

i know who i am
just all of the things ill never be


i know who i am:
all the things ill never be

i know who i am:
all the things you won’t believe

i know who i am:
just all of the things ill never be

i know who i am:
all the things ill never be

i know -

you don’t know the real me, you see me as your ideal
you don’t love me, just the idea that ill be something real
i am nothing, in the ground, im dirt. im just a piece of earth
loving with no expectation doesnt work, can i return? can’t take no more…!

i know who i am,
im living outside ecstasy
i dont need u to see me separately 
u wont believe im whole

you refuse to see the mess ive made

i know who i am
just all the things ill never be

i know who i -
all the things ill never be

i know who i am:
all the things you won’t believe

i know who i am:
all the things you still wont see

i know who i am:
just all of the things ill never be…
 

i know who i am.
i know -
i know who i am 

i know who i am:
all the things ill never be

i know who i am.
i know theres no better me.

i know who i am (prod. tiresss)

tear myself all up inside by 9aradox 
produced by dera 

lyrics: 

look into my eyes like baby 
cut me w this knife im crazy 
tear out my insides 
i tear myself all up inside oh yea 
i cant take this life oh no 
im running out of time oh no no 
maybe ill be fine like baby maybe ill be fine 

walking on a line 
its 9aradox im # 9 
i hear ghosts up in the hallway sending chills straight up my spine 
i hear ghosts up in the hallway 
girl ill follow u like always 
i swear u r such a doll face 
i got bodies in the crawlspace yea 

just look me in my eyes girl im through with telling lies 
yea my heart <3 is freezing over i can feel it crystalize 
yea the blood inside my veins is cold my tears freeze when i cry 
and i scream into the mirror at myself keep on asking why 

my tears freeze when i cry, i keep on asking why (like why) 
if luv was meant to kill then bby plz just let me die 
these ppl blow my phone up girl i leave it on reply 
and theres visions of death replaying over in my mind 

voices in my head replaying 
idc what they be saying 
red on the walls like its a murder scene the blood be spraying 
thoughts of my death keep replaying 
all this money i be making 
stacking all these racks up like i fucking sold my soul satan 

look into my eyes like baby 
cut me w this knife im crazy 
tear out my insides 
i tear myself all up inside oh yea 
i cant take this life oh no 
im running out of time oh no no 
maybe ill be fine like baby maybe ill be fine 


look into my eyes like baby 
cut me w this knife im crazy 
tear out my insides 
i tear myself all up inside oh yea 
i cant take this life oh no 
im running out of time oh no no 
maybe ill be fine like baby maybe ill be fine 
maybe ill be fine like baby maybe ill be fine 
(maybe ill be fine like baby maybe ill be fine oh yea)





 








tear myself all up inside [dera]

https://soundcloud.com/makemeapromise
thnks 4 the prod :)

this is an old song i did
sry for not uploading, my mic is broken and ive just been having life troubles lol.
pupsies fall off </3

lyr
-
oh..
in the distance
i can feel your presence
do you feel my heart yet
do you feel my heart rate
oh my head is dizzy
and the room is spinning
can you say you love me
do you love me, sweetie?
can you even say the truth?
kiss me, make our lips feel new
i dont know what to do
dont know what to do with you
no i dont know what to do
with you

heartrate (@prodsurgeon)

prod me bc we lonely

talking abt me but im not around 
you always let me drown now u play me super loud 
buried alive no one ever see me now 

too many drugs in my system now i'm so high 
so i'll see u in the back we could meet up u look so fine 
1800 hex yea she hit my line 
take until there's nothing left take some xannnnnies and a few lines 
ima slit my wrists ima kms one day 
ima take ur b and she tell me that ur nothing 
ima a fucking ghost everybody think they know me 
u should hit me up let's just take a pic we lonely 

always alonebut i'm right next to u
so selfish got nothing to lose 
cuz everybody thinks im oddd
everyone think im a ghost 
but they keep playing my songs 
is just like a dream just like a nightmare we can't get along 
i just want love i just want you 
addicted to xans addicted to you 
i do it for you 
u kill me but id die for you 
i just keep it real always tell the truth

lonely

has more layers - best with headphones/earbuds (to hear each part)

whatever you want. (prod. tiresss, 16kibo)

baby why you lying
why you playing in my face

you go playin with my feelings
then i pull myself away

tell me, is it all in my head
tell me what did i do wrong

maybe at the very least 
could i get a heads up?

when its my turn 
to be selfish

when its my turn 
to be selfish

baby why you lying
why you playing in my face

you go playin with my feelings
then i pull myself away


i don’t need to worry ‘bout the future 
i know that its nothing to you
i can think about right now and make a song 
its nothing new

you know its true
you fucking do
playing dumb like you don’t know it hurts
like you don’t got a clue

whats the point of saying it to your face
when you make me sick
you only make me wa-aste

waste my time on lies
on jokes.. its fine
i need someone to stay here 
to call my line
to call my li-ine

“you seem upset?”
sorry i cant hide it
sorry that i’m like this
jealousy’s a sickness
gets inside my skin

its insidious 
like an idiot, 
i sit and wait
as if you would give me a kiss

i know i’m secondary
in your life, i know its true
id write your obituary
would you write one for me too

i know i’m not dead yet
i promise one day soon though
you will finally get to know 
what it’s like, to be alone


if i kill myself maybe everyone would remember who i was
who i was
who i was
who i was
who i was
who i was

if i kill myself maybe everyone would remember
who i was
who i was
who i was
who i was

see me as who i could have been if i never loved anyone. 

you can go and say you’re sorry for the past, that’s dead and gone
you can do the common courtesy and then get to move on
you can act and play the part so you can still feel go—od
you can do whatever that you think you fucking sho—uld

you can go and say you’re sorry for the past, that’s dead and gone
you can do the common courtesy and then get to move on
you can go and play the part so you can still feel go—od
you can do whatever that you think you fucking sho—uld

you can go and say you’re sorry for the past, that’s dead and gone
  (you think you can just say sorry then it all be over)
there is no forgiveness, why am i even making this song?
  (you think that u can do whatever except give me any closure)
you can act and play the part so you can still feel go—od
  (i will close the door i don’t care if it makes me colder)
you can do whatever that you think you fucking sho—uld
  (you can keep on thinking ‘god one day ill fucking show her’)

you can go and say you’re sorry for the past, that’s dead and gone
  (you already know your sins and they won’t ever leave you)
there is no forgiveness, why am i even making this song?
  (i can see how little i mean - it’s okay since we’re thru)
bound to make hist’ry repeat itself, rewriting the same hook
  (whats a friend, everything ends, i know i will accept it)
you can do whatever, except think ‘bout if you sho—uld!
  (you think you can do whatever, i will head for the exit)

(why do i try? why’m i alive? why. do. i. try. why. won’t. i. just. die. won’t. i. just?)

whatever you want vers 2 (prod tiresss 16kibo)

@p7e
@misalivee

my souls been tainted 
by the ones I love 
pin me down in shackles and 
take me right above
lord please ill die right by your side
im sorry my friend ig its time to say goodbye
oh my angel 
you fallen so low
your heart is so pure 
but your filled with sorrow 
I jus wanna feel something
my god is never here
i cry out for mercy but he just never hears 
cut me down 
i fallen from grace 
i know that my life just was a mistake 
i know that theres a defect in my soul 
im so dirty the sin i unfold
its like im living in the past 
i swear this shit is all the same
begging lord please will you fucking take the pain away 
I jus wanna know why he fuckin left me here...

(i tried recording on the bridge but i couldnt make anything good so s/o wintr for the tags)

wintr
------------
why arent you breathing
i thought that you said you were healing
she didnt leave a note
ball in the back of my throat

the day you killed yourself
that shit really wasnt fun
my affections gone
and im so fucking numb

IT WASNT ME
WHO MADE YOU BLEED
YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME
NOW UR IN THE FUCKING GRAVE

IT WASNT ME
WHO MADE YOU BLEED
IT WASNT ME
IT WASNT ME

why arent you breathing
i thought that you said you were healing
she didnt leave a note
ball in the back of my throat
why arent you breathing
i thought that you said you were healing
she didnt leave a note
ball in the back of my throat